Lyra had a decent life. It wasn't perfect but it was hers and it was good. Now all of that is gone and she's in the worst of all possible worlds.
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Great job! You know, it's kinda the ooposite of the Lyra story I did
10389198
Is that the Tootsie one? In the WWII Pacific. I haven't read those yet; I'm so unfocused.
10389208
Yes, that's the one. You might see what I mean when you get to it
Alright, what is the deal with Lyra's whole nudity taboo? It doesn't make a lick of sense for it to be as strong as it is. For goodness sake she grew up and lived most of her life without one, so nude ponies would be a return to normal, unless the war went on more then one generation. It's really pulling me out of the story every time it shows up.
10389358
I'm not sure 'Lyra developed a nudity taboo over the course of ten years of wearing clothes' is the biggest suspension of disbelief speed bump about this story, but if it isn't working for you, it isn't working.
It is totally there to emphasize pre/post Bad Day culture shock and to evoke Fallout's pseduo-1950s pre-war, and not at all because the author had a nudity embarrassment fetish. It comes up again next chapter; I guess I'll try to sell it a little harder then? I don't mind working a conversation about it; I could sell the 'Crispy is into history" think a little harder while I was at it.
More long conversations. Those are definitely my fetish.
I'm not inclined to rework existing chapters unless more people complain, but that's possible, too. Thanks for the feedback!
Is there a numbering error for this chapter?
10391824
There was. Fixed now.
10394605
Clears throat. If only I had an editor! Cog/Cod thing is fixed, anyway. Thanks!
Oh you are not gonna like this fic then. Or possibly any of mine, even the clops. Just telling you. I write to make people uncomfortable, not to provide escapism.
Awwwwwww... the poor fella.
I was hoping for a moment; I could see him being a sort of mascot, available for kicking ass when needed, and slowly being taught to trust the others while he-...
Moot point, I suppose... but still loving the story, all the same.