Read This

by The Grey Pegasus

...What...?

Read This
By: The Grey Pegasus

It was yet another day in the library for Twilight Sparkle. She was currently going through some more books on magic. There was never a problem with any books being outdated, since the library was always kept in check by Ponyville's laws on keeping books up to date. Even more so once Twilight had moved in, since now, there was also the support from Canterlot, with Princess Celestia keeping it regulated and a connection with the Grand Canterlot Archives.

The studious unicorn spent a good portion of her free time with her books. Her long time companions of ink and paper, along with Spike. With the backing of ponies high up, books to read were never in short supply. Whether Twilight needed reference books, guides, or even just a nice story to pass some time, it was all here. Between her constant reorganizing and weekly arrivals of at least a few books, dust never settled much in the main book rooms. Of course, there was the monthly maintenance to assure that dust wouldn't stay on any books for long, because there was no good reason for bookshelves with perfectly readable books to accumulate dust.

In fact, Rainbow was lucky, in that Ponyville was one of the first places to receive the newest Daring Do books when released, though the pegasus had agreed to expand her horizons, and seemed to be working out well. The entirety of Ponyville was fortunate to have a librarian with such connections, because it ensured that any book or information they needed could be found just by going to the tree-building.

It was just past midday when Twilight decided that it would be a good time to take a break from her studies. Taking a break usually meant finding a good novel to sit down a read, and the unicorn liked to have broad tastes in reading material. Therefore, she would sometimes venture into the less visited areas of the bookshelves, or even the library as a whole, just to find a new, possibly interesting book to read.

The librarian went about finding that book. Even though she had reorganized and catalogued the books many, many times over, she admitted that she didn't know all of them by heart. She would love to, but some books would always slip her mind. Twilight didn't want to always look at that fact in a bad light, so she also thought of it as a way to surprise herself when finding a random story.

It was more exciting to find a book she didn't know anything about, other than what she saw on the spine and the corresponding title. If it intrigued her, she would remove that book from the shelf and examine it more. Of course, Twilight was well aware of the principle of 'don't judge a book by it's cover', but she didn't necessarily judge the book while looking at it. Rather, she would speculate what those pages held, what story the words told. The title and cover would help her in assuming what the book was about, but there was no guarantee that her hypothesis would be correct. Nonetheless, she would enjoy the reading and finish it content, refreshed, and ready to go back to her normal life.

Twilight had led herself to a random section of bookshelves. Placed here were the books that she missed the last time she categorized the library. It didn't happen often, but as perfect as she wanted them to be, sometimes, an event would pop up in the middle of shelf maintenance. Also Rainbow just crashed too many times into the shelves, and reorganizing was always a pain. In short, the process broke down every now and then, to Twilight's dismay.

She scanned the wall for any possible good read. Titles would be the first deciding factor- it would be the first thing she could use to help identify what kind of story it could be. Twilight knew that good authors used titles that would grab readers. For storywriters, it was essential to play on the curiosity of the reader, so that the pony would consider reading it. The best ones caused the potential reader to think about what they might be getting in, because-

"What the hay is this?" Twilight exclaimed as she spotted a book that clearly grabbed her attention. Twilight looked closer at the title, and even rubbed her eyes to make sure that she was reading it correctly. "Read This. The book's actually called Read This."

Twilight pulled it out. In all honesty, she didn't know how to react. On one side, she was in disbelief that there was actually a book by the title Read This. And on the other hoof, what could possibly be in the book with such a title?

The cover was plain- it didn't really tell much about the book. The binding was standard and professional. So why was she still examining it? There's nothing special about the cover. There's nothing special about title. So why was the book still being scanned by her two eyes?

Twilight continued wondering those thoughts as she absent-mindedly walked back to her study, with the newly acquired book floating in front of her. "Read This..." she murmured. "Why..." She couldn't finish, as her mind was still confused. With a little more walking, she returned to the confines of her room. She sat down and continued to levitate the book in front of her.

"Why would an author even title their book this? Are they trying to attract attention?" She pondered the matter, and browsed her knowledge on how the business worked. The title was supposed to hook the reader on. Though the methods varied, the goal was always the same- to grab in any readers that happened to land their eyes on it. At this, Twilight finally understood this part of the book.

"The author wrote a book and titled it Read This because it would cause a pony to go through everything I've been thinking of right now! Of course! Now the book is planted in my head, because of confusion or whatnot... is that genius or just stupid?" Twilight paused in though. "Whatever the case, I guess I'm here, so he got my attention, and thus completing that goal." At that revelation, Twilight could move on to finding more about the book from what she could see without opening it.

There wasn't much. "There's nothing on the cover that could tell me much about the book. There's not even a single thing that could hint to what type of story it is. It's a mystery as of now. The book can literally be about anything right now!" Studious as she was, it was bugging her that she couldn't figure out this book. Yet she still resisted opening it, and wondered what it could be. She considered it a challenge and hobby to see if she could guess the contents of a book by it's title and cover.

"Read This... Read This... What could possibly cause an author to think of naming a book that?" Twilight went through the endless possibilities. "Well, I guess it could be some sort of manual, but for what? Living your life? Morals? Machinery operation? No, I don't think that's it."

Twilight laid down on her back, continuing to look up at the somehow captivating tome. "Maybe... it could be a romance novel? But how would that work? Maybe the title could be metaphorical for something, like reading somepony's love towards another? Reading body language? No, with a title like this, it could be metaphorical about anything." She put the idea aside, moving on to a new theory.

"Of course, it could always be some sort of history book. But they usually have informative titles. Unless it's one of those special sorts of history books... nah. I don't think a history book would be like this," Twilight concluded.

"Perhaps it's a dark story of sorts. Like a... a dark fantasy, that has a complex plot about reading certain... specific... obscure... things... I guess that might work." She tossed the theory into the growing mental pile of possibilities.

Twilight spun the book in the air with her magic as she kept speculating about the book. "Of course, it could also simply be a story of epic adventure that starts off with reading a message or a map of some sort. That can certainly work."

Twilight looked up for a moment. This simple book was certainly testing her mind. Or rather, she was testing herself with it. It was as if the book told her to test her own mind about it. The unicorn returned to thinking about the book that would not leave her thoughts.

"It could be a sad story. And the pony wrote it down in tribute to them, to preserve their memory." It seemed like a reasonable guess. The book was plain and mysterious enough.

"Maybe it's a documentary of a tragic event?" Twilight hypothesized. "And the author wants ponies to read it so that they may know what tragedy had occurred, and the depth of the event?" Twilight continued to idly play with the book in her magical grasp. "Eh... it's probably a little more general than that..." she mumbled.

"Like a pony's mementos! A diary or journal, and they want ponies to read about their life! To maybe learn a lesson, or avoid doing certain mistakes, or find tips on how to do certain things, speaking from their own experience..." Twilight followed the trail of thinking a little more, then came by another conclusion. A slightly jarring conclusion.

"... What if this is actually a cursed book?! And it's titled Read This so that a pony would release whatever evil is stored inside!" Twilight looked menacingly at the simple book. It looked harmless, but it could be all part of a ruse. "Then again, I suppose it's equally capable of good," Twilight mused. She stared at the book for a couple seconds. "... And also equally capable of doing absolutely nothing." At that, Twilight stumbled upon another viable answer.

"Of course! The book could be a comedy! It's certainly got the attitude to be one," Twilight declared. "It's already kind of driven me crazy. Maybe that's the point of the book? I guess I could say it's already made a joke of myself."

Twilight could have gone on for a couple more minutes, but she finally realized that she was accidentally stalling. "Wait, why am I just sitting here doing nothing for so long? I could just open the book and find out for Celestia's sake! I've sat here long enough wondering about what it could be, I nearly forgot the part where I find out what it actually is!" The librarian chuckled at her discovery.

Twilight opened the cover, and began her journey through the pages...

<<+>>

Spike came in a little while later, just to check on Twilight like he usually did. She might have had a job or errand for him, and if not, he could just go about his own business. He found the unicorn reading a book, just as expected. The dragon did not, however, expect the heavily confused expression on her face.

"Hey Twilight... What'cha readin?"

"I... I have no idea."

Comments

[The Grey Pegasus]

Note that I wrote this during "I'm going mad" hour, which is also known as "Luna's awake" hour. Because of this, I wrote something no sane person would. I am, however, aware that this story could go either way. Personally, I know it's stupid. Oh well. At least I finished this random one-shot. I also changed my author's comment to have a little more sanity in it. I've got the original somewhere else, just for the heck of it.

EDIT: Well I finally woke up, and failed moderation because I forgot to put tags. I still don't know why I wrote this.
EDIT 2: Thanks to Altoid for telling me that this was not too insane. And I'm a lot more awake and can think more clearly. So I've made a decision. With enough comments, I'll post the original author's note.

Anyways, comment your thoughts and yeah.

[DELETED ACCOUNT]

I liked it

[Jedi-narwhal]

A brilliant short story if you ask me. You capture Twilight's mental process quite well, and portray it fluently. Bravo to you.

[The Grey Pegasus]

1153297
The secret to conveying Twilight's thoughts well? Have a very similar personality.

Actually, this was on my original commentary.

[Mhlvgt]

good and witty, loved it

[Adaptive]

Well done, good sir.

[Pokey the Unicorn]

I liked this. An excellent portrayal of Twilight's mind, and how she might think. I like that you didn't tell us what the book was actually about, as it wasn't the point of the story, and providing the answer would have taken away from the rest of it. If it turned out to be something simple, you might think "Oh, it was just a book about xxxx, Twilight's blowing stuff out of proportion again, hahaha.

Although, the ending feels a little tacked on. Twilight being confused raises the question; why is she confused? Again, this takes away from the story. I would have just had Twilight say something like "Shh! I'm reading!"

Great story though. You get a thumb and a fave from me!

[The Grey Pegasus]

1155151
Actually, this entire story is a reflection of the reader. The in-story book was essentially a reflection of this story (or, rather, seeing this story). I expected you to be like "I have no idea what this was" or "What just happened" after reading the story. Again, I might post the original author's note, because it is pretty informative.

[Pokey the Unicorn]

1155177

Yeah, I was thinking that while I read. Maybe I'm reading into it too much?

[The Grey Pegasus]

1155276
If you started thinking that, "too much" is still the correct amount! But Twilight's reactions were the exact reactions I'd have.

Pony personality test is actually right this time.

[mrmayortheiv]

Dear Celestia Twilight... just READ THE BOOK!! You're making me go crazy over here.

Seriously though, very good story, to me a story is always successful when it makes me feel something, and boy did this make me feel kind of frustrated (but in that weird somewhat bemused way that leaves you smiling and shaking your head).

And that special kind of history book what is that supposed to mean? Seems dirty but I don't know

[The Grey Pegasus]

1195751
I hope Twilight's "I have no idea" matches your feeling.

As for the history book part, well, book titles aren't always straightforward, and history books aren't exempt. It's also my way of alluding to the "Alternate Universe" tag, though very vague... (Each FiMFic story tag, except for Human, Random (depending how you look at Random), and Crossover, was somehow referenced in her monologue.)

[Pjoelj]

This story made me go through a similar monologue to what Twilight did. Only shorter, as this was tagged and had a description.

Anyway, I liked this. You kept the whole thing the right length. You had everything flow until just before the point when it'd bore your readers. If that was intentional, you're a very good author. If it wasn't, you're a good and very lucky author.

Oh, and before I leave, what was the book about? Was it even about anything? Was it this story, putting a story in itself, ending up creating an infinite fictional loop that threatens to destroy the mind of anyone who thinks into it too much?
Yeah, I'll go for the last one. Would explain why Twilight was so confused. I too would be confused if I found myself reading a book about the circumstances that lead to me reading that book in the first place.

[The Grey Pegasus]

1212540
Fun fact: I tried to submit without a tag, but failed moderation because of that.

The book is unspecified, because the story actually reflects what you just went through. It could be technically this story, but it doesn't matter. It probably is, considering your reasoning.

[Pjoelj]

1212554 Somehow, I saw that answer coming. Though I guess my last guess kinda sorta fits what little information you just disclosed so I'll just keep pretending that was correct in order to sate my hunger for completeness and self-sustaining loops of pseudo-reality. The latter of which kind of removes any hope of completeness...

I'm better off not knowing, right?

[The Grey Pegasus]

1212667
If I don't know myself, it's probably better that you don't either.

[Elric of Melnipony]

derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/3/21/275543.png

[superpony55]

You did a good job with this! I really enjoyed the ending.

[moonlit scribe]

Wow. Just... wow.

You sir/ma'am, are an amazing author.
Six out of five mustaches for a superultraextremeawsomazing story. This should be on the featured list.

Oh, And One Fluttershy

[The Grey Pegasus]

7010840
Yeah, well, I remember trying. Didn't happen.

[Seraphimus]

This is a story that...Really made me think about how I look at stories in a rather interesting way.

Really not sure how I feel about it XD Well done