Read This

by The Grey Pegasus

...What...?

It was yet another day in the library for Twilight Sparkle. She was currently going through some more books on magic. There was never a problem with any books being outdated, since the library was always kept in check by Ponyville's laws on keeping books up to date. Even more so once Twilight had moved in, since now, there was also the support from Canterlot, with Princess Celestia keeping it regulated and a connection with the Grand Canterlot Archives.
The studious unicorn spent a good portion of her free time with her books. Her long time companions of ink and paper, along with Spike. With the backing of ponies high up, books to read were never in short supply. Whether Twilight needed reference books, guides, or even just a nice story to pass some time, it was all here. Between her constant reorganizing and weekly arrivals of at least a few books, dust never settled much in the main book rooms. Of course, there was the monthly maintenance to assure that dust wouldn't stay on any books for long, because there was no good reason for bookshelves with perfectly readable books to accumulate dust.
In fact, Rainbow was lucky, in that Ponyville was one of the first places to receive the newest Daring Do books when released, though the pegasus had agreed to expand her horizons, and seemed to be working out well. The entirety of Ponyville was fortunate to have a librarian with such connections, because it ensured that any book or information they needed could be found just by going to the tree-building.
It was just past midday when Twilight decided that it would be a good time to take a break from her studies. Taking a break usually meant finding a good novel to sit down a read, and the unicorn liked to have broad tastes in reading material. Therefore, she would sometimes venture into the less visited areas of the bookshelves, or even the library as a whole, just to find a new, possibly interesting book to read.
The librarian went about finding that book. Even though she had reorganized and catalogued the books many, many times over, she admitted that she didn't know all of them by heart. She would love to, but some books would always slip her mind. Twilight didn't want to always look at that fact in a bad light, so she also thought of it as a way to surprise herself when finding a random story.
It was more exciting to find a book she didn't know anything about, other than what she saw on the spine and the corresponding title. If it intrigued her, she would remove that book from the shelf and examine it more. Of course, Twilight was well aware of the principle of 'don't judge a book by it's cover', but she didn't necessarily judge the book while looking at it. Rather, she would speculate what those pages held, what story the words told. The title and cover would help her in assuming what the book was about, but there was no guarantee that her hypothesis would be correct. Nonetheless, she would enjoy the reading and finish it content, refreshed, and ready to go back to her normal life.
Twilight had led herself to a random section of bookshelves. Placed here were the books that she missed the last time she categorized the library. It didn't happen often, but as perfect as she wanted them to be, sometimes, an event would pop up in the middle of shelf maintenance. Also Rainbow just crashed too many times into the shelves, and reorganizing was always a pain. In short, the process broke down every now and then, to Twilight's dismay.
She scanned the wall for any possible good read. Titles would be the first deciding factor- it would be the first thing she could use to help identify what kind of story it could be. Twilight knew that good authors used titles that would grab readers. For storywriters, it was essential to play on the curiosity of the reader, so that the pony would consider reading it. The best ones caused the potential reader to think about what they might be getting in, because-
"What the hay is this?" Twilight exclaimed as she spotted a book that clearly grabbed her attention. Twilight looked closer at the title, and even rubbed her eyes to make sure that she was reading it correctly. "Read This. The book's actually called Read This."
Twilight pulled it out. In all honesty, she didn't know how to react. On one side, she was in disbelief that there was actually a book by the title Read This. And on the other hoof, what could possibly be in the book with such a title?
The cover was plain- it didn't really tell much about the book. The binding was standard and professional. So why was she still examining it? There's nothing special about the cover. There's nothing special about title. So why was the book still being scanned by her two eyes?
Twilight continued wondering those thoughts as she absent-mindedly walked back to her study, with the newly acquired book floating in front of her. "Read This..." she murmured. "Why..." She couldn't finish, as her mind was still confused. With a little more walking, she returned to the confines of her room. She sat down and continued to levitate the book in front of her.
"Why would an author even title their book this? Are they trying to attract attention?" She pondered the matter, and browsed her knowledge on how the business worked. The title was supposed to hook the reader on. Though the methods varied, the goal was always the same- to grab in any readers that happened to land their eyes on it. At this, Twilight finally understood this part of the book.
"The author wrote a book and titled it Read This because it would cause a pony to go through everything I've been thinking of right now! Of course! Now the book is planted in my head, because of confusion or whatnot... is that genius or just stupid?" Twilight paused in though. "Whatever the case, I guess I'm here, so he got my attention, and thus completing that goal." At that revelation, Twilight could move on to finding more about the book from what she could see without opening it.
There wasn't much. "There's nothing on the cover that could tell me much about the book. There's not even a single thing that could hint to what type of story it is. It's a mystery as of now. The book can literally be about anything right now!" Studious as she was, it was bugging her that she couldn't figure out this book. Yet she still resisted opening it, and wondered what it could be. She considered it a challenge and hobby to see if she could guess the contents of a book by it's title and cover.
"Read This... Read This... What could possibly cause an author to think of naming a book that?" Twilight went through the endless possibilities. "Well, I guess it could be some sort of manual, but for what? Living your life? Morals? Machinery operation? No, I don't think that's it."
Twilight laid down on her back, continuing to look up at the somehow captivating tome. "Maybe... it could be a romance novel? But how would that work? Maybe the title could be metaphorical for something, like reading somepony's love towards another? Reading body language? No, with a title like this, it could be metaphorical about anything." She put the idea aside, moving on to a new theory.
"Of course, it could always be some sort of history book. But they usually have informative titles. Unless it's one of those special sorts of history books... nah. I don't think a history book would be like this," Twilight concluded.
"Perhaps it's a dark story of sorts. Like a... a dark fantasy, that has a complex plot about reading certain... specific... obscure... things... I guess that might work." She tossed the theory into the growing mental pile of possibilities.
Twilight spun the book in the air with her magic as she kept speculating about the book. "Of course, it could also simply be a story of epic adventure that starts off with reading a message or a map of some sort. That can certainly work."
Twilight looked up for a moment. This simple book was certainly testing her mind. Or rather, she was testing herself with it. It was as if the book told her to test her own mind about it. The unicorn returned to thinking about the book that would not leave her thoughts.
"It could be a sad story. And the pony wrote it down in tribute to them, to preserve their memory." It seemed like a reasonable guess. The book was plain and mysterious enough.
"Maybe it's a documentary of a tragic event?" Twilight hypothesized. "And the author wants ponies to read it so that they may know what tragedy had occurred, and the depth of the event?" Twilight continued to idly play with the book in her magical grasp. "Eh... it's probably a little more general than that..." she mumbled.
"Like a pony's mementos! A diary or journal, and they want ponies to read about their life! To maybe learn a lesson, or avoid doing certain mistakes, or find tips on how to do certain things, speaking from their own experience..." Twilight followed the trail of thinking a little more, then came by another conclusion. A slightly jarring conclusion.
"... What if this is actually a cursed book?! And it's titled Read This so that a pony would release whatever evil is stored inside!" Twilight looked menacingly at the simple book. It looked harmless, but it could be all part of a ruse. "Then again, I suppose it's equally capable of good," Twilight mused. She stared at the book for a couple seconds. "... And also equally capable of doing absolutely nothing." At that, Twilight stumbled upon another viable answer.
"Of course! The book could be a comedy! It's certainly got the attitude to be one," Twilight declared. "It's already kind of driven me crazy. Maybe that's the point of the book? I guess I could say it's already made a joke of myself."
Twilight could have gone on for a couple more minutes, but she finally realized that she was accidentally stalling. "Wait, why am I just sitting here doing nothing for so long? I could just open the book and find out for Celestia's sake! I've sat here long enough wondering about what it could be, I nearly forgot the part where I find out what it actually is!" The librarian chuckled at her discovery.
Twilight opened the cover, and began her journey through the pages...

Spike came in a little while later, just to check on Twilight like he usually did. She might have had a job or errand for him, and if not, he could just go about his own business. He found the unicorn reading a book, just as expected. The dragon did not, however, expect the heavily confused expression on her face.
"Hey Twilight... What'cha readin?"
"I... I have no idea."