Who would of guessed a portal to another dimension would open up in my room no less. Being teleported to a colourful fantasy land of mythic proportions is pretty jarring, let's see where this goes shall we?
What I wanted was to disappear from this world and play a different role, instead of being in this boring, mundane life where you get up, you get a wash, you go to your job or University. And then carrying that on for the rest of your life until you get put in a care home or abruptly die from something stupid like getting flung mach fucking 20 from a colliding bus that you so happen to run in front of.
10252595 Actually, Zecora isn't exactly ripped, with her using the longbow that well, that however... I wouldn't use the excuse of it's just 'magic' but other factors that I have yet to explain further into the story will soon come to pass I assure you. I would also like to make a point that bows and swords, for example, are on somewhat par with each other, besides the range advantage.
When I said Zecora was using it well I wasn't talking about how much damage it did as that isn't even affected by the archer. The reason she would need to be strong is because she has to pull it back. She did so fairly quickly and fired with accuracy meaning she's used this bow quite a bit. Since she is using the bow as a weapon it clearly isn't a target bow so it's likely got a draw weight of 70-150 pounds.
Um quick question were did he get the sword from? . . . Never mind I'm and idiot had to reread it a few times before finally realizing where he got it from.
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Currently working on the next chapter! It's gunna be atleast 6,000 words.
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1712.08465 On the quantum "self teleportation" of a human body
this is literally what I think about all the time
That fact that he knows this and still owns these things makes it twice as cringy.
The moment, I saw you use the words, brilliant, bloody and the pound symbol, I knew you were British you self-insert wanker! (I love it!)
Some cringe in just the first chapter and edgy outfit just for the sake of being edgy?
My suggestion to you is that if swords are going to be prevalent in this story you look into them a bit more.
Zecora must be ripped in this if she can use a longbow that well.
10252595
Actually, Zecora isn't exactly ripped, with her using the longbow that well, that however... I wouldn't use the excuse of it's just 'magic' but other factors that I have yet to explain further into the story will soon come to pass I assure you. I would also like to make a point that bows and swords, for example, are on somewhat par with each other, besides the range advantage.
10252641
In what way are swords and bows on par?
When I said Zecora was using it well I wasn't talking about how much damage it did as that isn't even affected by the archer. The reason she would need to be strong is because she has to pull it back. She did so fairly quickly and fired with accuracy meaning she's used this bow quite a bit. Since she is using the bow as a weapon it clearly isn't a target bow so it's likely got a draw weight of 70-150 pounds.
At the end your author's note I saw this:
I'm not sure what word you meant but that is not a word. Maybe you meant deter or detour
Um quick question were did he get the sword from?
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Never mind I'm and idiot had to reread it a few times before finally realizing where he got it from.
*Facepalms from stupid moment.*
This was honestly kind of difficult to read. The main character is way too edgy and aloof, in a very standoffish way. The guy fucking owns a sword and wears a trench coat. The way he dresses, the way he talks, the way he thinks, it all reads as school shooter in the making, an incel of the highest pedigree. Cringey to the fucking core. I had to take three breaks just to get through this first chapter because it was honestly too much. And I sincerely can't believe that we still, here in the year of our lord 2022 (or more accurately 2020), STILL put our HiE protags in fucking Everfree and have them be hunted by timberwolves. Cringey AND cliché, what a match.
Based on this alone I'm confident I can probably just straight up guess the next dozen or so chapters.