Who would of guessed a portal to another dimension would open up in my room no less. Being teleported to a colourful fantasy land of mythic proportions is pretty jarring, let's see where this goes shall we?
10185611 Cheers for your comment! I really appreciate it. Although, yes to some it would seem quite cringy, at the end of the day, whether a person likes these items and doesn't really care much on what people think of them is what really counts.
Either way, I'll try my absolute hardest to cut back on cringy or edgy stuff in the future, although I will say it will get quite dark later on, so just a bit of a heads up really.
10185762 To be honest, I agree with you. Since I'm a below-average writer I find it hard to really make people feel some sort of emotion for a character like I wrote in one of my chapters, the main character feeling really guilty with himself for choosing to leave his family for his own selfish needs. And then him feeling frustrated and lashing out for what he has done.
Overall, I'm still learning, and I'm trying to wrap my head around some of these plot lines to get this story to go in the direction I envisioned. And sometimes I even drive myself into a corner.
I hope my writing ability gets better along the way, I've started planning out a few things I have jotted down, so we will see how that goes I guess.
I'm just glad I didn't really give the character a back story like, My family is dead, I have no one, that sort of thing.
"Oh shit I forgot my sword!" running back and grabbing my sword whilst Twilight shuck her head.
Being a grammar nazi here and there is another misspelling somewhere in this chapter but I forget where. Anyway it’s shook not shuck. I think of shucking like taking the outer layer and hair off an ear of corn.
10186655 How the absolute fuck did I make an rookie mistake like that lmao, cheers for pointing that out! Sorry for the late reply, just about to go to sleep.
10191623 Completely missed that! Cheers! 10191555 Well, you are right I have read a lot of Arthurs Legend and among other things. But, for this story, it's completely fictional.
10185611
Cheers for your comment! I really appreciate it. Although, yes to some it would seem quite cringy, at the end of the day, whether a person likes these items and doesn't really care much on what people think of them is what really counts.
Either way, I'll try my absolute hardest to cut back on cringy or edgy stuff in the future, although I will say it will get quite dark later on, so just a bit of a heads up really.
Thank you :)
This is a pretty interesting story thus far but good God is it dripping in teenage angst.
10185732
I'm glad you find it interesting :)
But, in your opinion how would you tone it back? Any ideas would be appreciated! I will definitely take it into consideration.
Cheers!
10185750
It's not inherently bad it's just off-putting because he's supposed to be an adult.
10185762
To be honest, I agree with you. Since I'm a below-average writer I find it hard to really make people feel some sort of emotion for a character like I wrote in one of my chapters, the main character feeling really guilty with himself for choosing to leave his family for his own selfish needs.
And then him feeling frustrated and lashing out for what he has done.
Overall, I'm still learning, and I'm trying to wrap my head around some of these plot lines to get this story to go in the direction I envisioned. And sometimes I even drive myself into a corner.
I hope my writing ability gets better along the way, I've started planning out a few things I have jotted down, so we will see how that goes I guess.
I'm just glad I didn't really give the character a back story like, My family is dead, I have no one, that sort of thing.
Cheers!
10185767
Hey every paragraph is more practice, and you're only going to get better.
Being a grammar nazi here and there is another misspelling somewhere in this chapter but I forget where. Anyway it’s shook not shuck. I think of shucking like taking the outer layer and hair off an ear of corn.
10186655
How the absolute fuck did I make an rookie mistake like that lmao, cheers for pointing that out! Sorry for the late reply, just about to go to sleep.
Sorted :)
Reciprocate.
10191623
Completely missed that! Cheers!
10191555
Well, you are right I have read a lot of Arthurs Legend and among other things. But, for this story, it's completely fictional.