Page generated in 0.017 seconds
Total duration
693 users online
915,797 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Comment section minigames for the Clean Up Your Own Mess chapter of this story (anypony can play them in this comment section).
Does this story remind you of a song that you know? If yes, post it in the comments in the following format:
- Chapter of the story that this song is relevant to.
- A link or embedded Youtube video of it.
- Percentage of correlation (0% being an unrelated song, 100% being a song written exactly for this story).
- The reason why this song reminded you of this story or the excerpt of the lyrics.
Music to listen to while you read:
Hungry Lucy - Into Pieces — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Why must I do this - Can you help me through this - Everyone has left me
Twilight has become a sadist. I seriously question her mental stability.
What is Twilight's fucking end-goal here? And how is Trixie not at suicide level yet? This is literally torture. No cutesy "Twilight logic" here. Even she could acknowledge that this is torture.
No, seriously. The fuck does Twilight want Trixie to be? A pet? What does that define as?
10131877 10131747 As I've said previously. In the prequel, it is established that too much teleporting could be dangerous for one's mental health. And Twilight tends to teleport a lot.
On top of that, using the Interrogation Charm can cause havoc on one's mind. Twilight used that twice in one day.
The end goal is the same as when you enter the army. First, you have to be broken down before you can be built up. We're still in part one of that. The more extreme measures, the faster we can proceed with the second part (building one up).
As for Trixie's suicidal tendencies, this is still just the first day.
Twilight gave trixie the bird XD
Are you going to continue this?
10138861 The maximum amount of words for the contest is 10k. I'll probably add a little to the last chapter.
10138918
Is that a yes r a no?
10142391 I've fixed the last chapter. It concludes the story. The story is now complete.
Feel free to ask me this question again after the contest is over.
I hate that it’s over so quickly and I do wish if you have the time I’ve not that much in a rush to make another chapter
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Well, the piss and shit eating was a big and very visceral surprise.
-I'm a little confused about what's going on in the beginning ... not quite enough information in this story to figure it out. (Such as the details of the contraption that's holding Trixie.)
-
They work wonders in subduing their wild nature.”
-- pronoun confusion.-
“You do understand
-- incorrect grammar for continuing quotation-
“You’ve crossed the line Twilight.”
-- needs a comma.-
I walked to the wardrobe.”
-- extra quote mark-
swung the scepter in an arch toward her
-- arc.-
licked my hoof clean..
-- extra period indicates that the sentence is very over.-These first two chapters are getting pretty slow. I know it's important to build Twilight's character and show their dynamic, but it really is just them talking to each other and not much else.
-
Oh, we’re going to do much more than just talk.
-- well, we're two chapters in, and that's pretty much all we've got so far.-
I pounded on her relentlessly.
-- vague. Where is Twi hitting her? I can't visualize it. And anyway, I’d expect Twilight to have a more scientific approach to torture than just straight-up beating with a stick. She’d be doing subtle little things, very specifically targeted, that hurt like a motherfucker but don’t cause much actual damage.-When things finally get outright sexual, the story just cuts away from the scene with a section break. Barely a clopfic at all, more just pure sadism.
-Definitely needs more content warnings than it has.
-It tries to be extreme fetish porn, but shies away from going into the details that would really make that kind of fetish porn work.
-Twilight is definitely dominating the fuck out of her, though.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 2/100
Allure: 15/100
Enticement: 60/100
Immersion: 80/100
Prose Quality: 70/100
Total Score: 227/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10253217 Thank you for the review.
Edit: Yay! I'm a winner of Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Congratulations on winning Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
For the full results, check the Dirty Little Award Show.
This story won:
i.imgur.com/wxQxyoZ.png
All Night Long
When you head up to the bedroom, you bring coffee and some snacks ... because this is going to take a while. Your clopfic was the longest by Fimfic's word count!
10279835
Hey I actually read your story, so don't be so hard on me
It pleases me that you hated my story but you kept grinding through it, anyway, for some reason. It's kind of hot. You remind me of Trixie in this story. She never liked anything either, but she soldiered through it all, anyway.
Oh, and I'm never hard on you, 10279839. I'm just hard on your views, that's all. I also partly read some of your stories, too.
10279851
Ok
Do you plan on continuing this story ? I know you already answered someone before about that, but now that the contest is over I wanted to know if you changed your mind.
10403654 I Pinkie swear that I'm going to publish this story to the very last chapter. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Maybe I'll even start publishing as soon as this weekend. I've just been busy lately.