Celestia XVII: The Broken Princess

by brokenimage321

5: "Things Fall Apart"

“It always surprised him when he thought of it later that he did not sink under the load of despair.”

“I just don’t see what the big deal is,” Soarin’ said, with a faint whine of panic in his voice. “So Rarity got to show Twilight around instead of you—so what?”

“Don’t you get it?” I snapped. “I’m her best friend. These are my people. We’d been planning this party for months. And, at the last minute, she picks someone else to introduce her to everypony. She couldn’t have slapped me harder in the face if she’d actually hit me.”

“Maybe she felt more comfortable with someone she knew a little better?” he suggested. “After all, she—”

“No one knows her better than me,” I interrupted. “We were practically sisters for our entire childhoods.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Soarin’, just... just shut up,” I moaned.

He stared at me for a split-second longer, than closed his mouth.

We were standing on one of the balconies of the Residence Tower, just outside my suite of rooms. Down below us, we could see the Garden Party, still in full swing. I had left the party early. “Slunk out,” the papers would say tomorrow morning. But I couldn’t take it anymore—watching Rarity take my place as Twilight’s escort cut so deep I could feel myself bleeding.

I needed out. I needed to be alone. But Soarin’ had followed me, for some reason. Followed me all the way up here, and was now watching me with those hurt-puppy eyes of his.

“Why are you here, anyway?” I asked. “Don’t you have other celebrities to fawn over?”

He just shook his head.

“I’m on a date with you—” he began.

“Yeah?” I said. “Coulda fooled me.”

At least he had the decency to look properly ashamed this time.

I turned away flopped my forearms down onto the balcony. I tried to ignore the party below, instead focusing on the lights of Canterlot beyond. From here, you could almost see downtown—maybe even the glow of Doughnut Joe’s sign…

I heard, more than saw, Soarin’ walk to the balcony. He, too, rested his forearms on the railing, then watched the lights in silence. After a few moments, he reached out to take my hoof, but I jerked it away.

“Listen,” he said, gently, “what’s this about? Really?”

A dozen answers to his question popped into my head, each more poisonous than the last, but they dissolved into smoke and vanished before I could even think of the words to say them. So, I gave him the only answer that remained:

“Tonight… tonight was supposed to fix everything,” I said, tracing a pattern on the railing with my hoof. “Twilight’s mad at me, for some reason, and I don’t really know why. Tonight, I was gonna fix things. I was going to talk to her, find out what’s going on, try and make it better… and I was going to show her how good of a friend I could be…”

“Could you take her out somewhere, after the party?” he asked. “Maybe some ice cream or something?”

“Doughnuts,” I corrected. “And I could. But that’s not it… It’s… I’m…”

I gestured helplessly, then dropped my chin down onto the railing. After a moment, Soarin’ reached out and laid his hoof on mine. This time, I didn’t pull away.

“Celestia,” he said gently, “I would give my wings to see you smiling again. But I can’t help unless you talk to me.”

I looked up at him. He stared back, his eyes wide and frightened. But he wasn’t frightened of me. He was frightened for me. I looked away again and sighed. I still didn’t know if I wanted to trust him with all my deepest, darkest secrets… but still, it would feel nice to be able to trust someone...

“I’m… scared,” I admitted. “Twilight has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. And she’s basically been family ever since I became Princess. She…” I hesitated, then sighed. “She’s always been there for me, and I for her, through everything. But now, I might lose her, just as I need her help the most, and I don’t know why…”

I stared miserably out at the night, feeling the tears start to well up again, until Soarin’ cleared his throat.

“Listen,” he said. “I don’t know what’s going on. Even if I did, I don’t know that I could help. But there is one thing I do know… and that’s the chain of command.”

I frowned, then looked up again. I found him watching me, not with a smirk, but an expression of earnest gravity. Seeing my look, he hesitated, but pressed on.

“See,” he said, “in the military, if someone gives you an order, it doesn’t matter so much whether it’s intelligent, or practical, or even possible—what matters more is who’s giving the order. If your drill sergeant tells you to scrub the barrack floors with your toothbrush, you do it, because that’s how things work in the military.”

I snorted. “Speaking from experience?” I asked.

“More than you know,” he replied, “but that’s not the point. The principle’s the same, all the way up the chain. If a general orders you to take down a rampaging dragon with nothing but the wings that Harmony gave you, you do it. Stupid, yes. Suicidal, yes. But he gave you an order, so you have to try—”

“Are you telling me to order her to be my friend again?” I snapped.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m trying to tell you there’s something you can do about it.”

“Like what?” I said disdainfully.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “All I know is, that you’re the Princess. You’re at the top of the chain of command—every chain of command. And that makes you a lot less helpless than you think—”

I straightened up and glared at him. “Are you calling me weak?” I snarled.

He jerked back in surprise—but then, his eyes hardened. “I wasn’t going to,” he said icily, “but if all you’re going to do about this, when you have literally everypony in Equestria at your beck and call, is whine about how everyone is being mean to you, then maybe you are.”

I glared down at him. “Get out,” I growled.

“I was just leaving,” he replied.

Soarin’ stuck his nose in the air, spread his wings, and took off. He glided out into the dark, towards the distant lights of the Wonderbolts base, and was gone. For a while, I watched those lights, my chest heaving, my eyes prickling with tears. How dare he—!

But, as my anger burned down to coals, I realized I was lonely again. So lonely it hurt.

But more importantly, I realized he was right. I was the Princess. I moved the foundering sun, after all. If I wanted to fix this, there was a way.

But—the tears started to well up again—what that way might be, I had no idea.

* * *

It was some time later when I stepped back out into the hallway. I had no idea how long.

I looked up and down the corridor, then sniffled and wiped at my nose with the back of a hoof. My eyes were puffy, and my makeup was a disaster—but hey, at least I hadn’t fallen asleep yet. I knew what was waiting for me on the other side of sleep tonight, and I already had enough problems to deal with as it was...

I shot another, nervous glance down the corridor. I was Princess, not to mention a full-blown adult, but old habits died hard. The guards would all just look the other way if they spotted me, but it still stung my pride a little when they caught me wandering the castle at night.

I took a deep breath, then turned and crept down the hall. Soarin’ was an ass—a handsome ass, but an ass nonetheless—but he was right. Twilight meant too much to me to just let our friendship die like this.

I snuck into my office. I sat down at my desk, then started pulling open drawers. I found a candle, set it on the desktop, and lit it with a spark from my horn. Then, I pulled out a sheet of parchment and a quill. I smoothed the parchment on the desktop, then lifted the pen. I hesitated, unsure of what to write. Finally, I began:

Dear Twilight, I scrawled. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked...

Comments

[Edguy0009]

Poor Cece.

[Comickook]

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. The exchange, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. Loved the chat between Soarin' and Celly concerning the latter's issues. At least Soarin' actually TRIED to help, even if he left frustrated. And, well, at least Celly realized some things enough to try to write a letter to Twilight asking to talk.

At any rate, on the next chapter.

[Zuabug]

I've been waiting for this and I'm glad I'm catching up. That cliffhanger would have killed me.

[Lurks-no-More]

Soarin has a point, even if he's not making it quite as well as he could.

[Sylica telca]

Soarin has a point even though he might not have explained it in the best way.

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

Hmm....

It's more than possible that whatever happened to Twi during the changeling invasion may have scarred her mentally to a point where she has some sort of PTSD.

[PresentPerfect]

Was she dating Soarin in the first story? I honestly don't recall.

[brokenimage321]

10437524
She met him at the Gala at the end of the story, and they kinda clicked a little, but the story ended shortly after.