Interesting take on it not what I expected.

... the cover art looks familiar. Could you PM the full picture, please?

Any story with an infamos titsnake on the cover deserves a look

I'm interested in where you go with this story. Hope to see more soon.

> snek titties

YES! You have NO idea how long I've wanted a Viper main character in a fimfic!

Not sure if the ending quote was intentionally worded incorrectly (mis-translation?) but .. well, I can't say the premise doesn't intrigue me, but the flow needs some serious work, and it really takes me out of it here and there. Don't stop though, as I said, I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Hmmm? I thought snake and horse are destine enemy. Might be interesting.

9794387
Actually, according to the Bible, Humans and snakes are sworn enemies.

"And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15

I'm seriously hoping she's a biped and not a serpent

Damn it now I'm sad and disappointed that she's an actual serpent

Since I approve of your story idea I'll give you some helpful tips: Try to limit the use of 'as' for a carry on sentence. It makes sentences longer and make them feel like run-ons. Using '.' More often would space out longer sentences fixing the run-on feeling of sentences. Constructive criticism out of the way, I'm surprised that this wasn't done already. It sounds like an interesting concept so far. Can't wait for more chapters.

This could use a serious makeover. The pacing is stilted when it doesn't feel rushed. There is a lot of other stuff going on that needs attention, but I'm about to start work so I don't exactly have the time to write it all up. Biggest recommendation would be to get a competent editor in on this.

I’m a sucker for snakes but goddamn.

needs some work, but with some polish. I would love to see more.

Well this could use some work here and there, but I still like the Viper. So let's see how this goes.

when he awoke she found her new body matched a character from the game she was playing

Nope. I'm pretty sure that sentence doesn't work. If you want to play with pronouns, make it as simple for your readers as possible. Let it be a small joke in it's own little sentence, like "he is now a she". That's it. Be extra careful with the description of your story, it's the first thing your potential readers see.

Hello dear reader,

I'm pretty sure there should be a comma after 'hello'.

this is the Commander, this is a collection

This is not good. The issue can be fixed quite easily, though: end the first sentence as the Commander introduces himself. Next one will tell us that we will be reading notes from his journal. Although I'm not sure if anyone ever wrote in his diary or journal 'Hello, this is a diary/journal'.

9794184
I too would like a pm of the picture.
Also like the concept, just feels a little rushed.

I'll be honest. What got my attention was the pic. I'ma sucker for xcom based crossovers (and StarCraft) and I do live me some vipers. (Personal thanks to all the lovely modders out there for the game. Especially the one that allowed vipers on my team. )
This was a nice start, could use a bit more fleashing out in places. I thought it was a bit quick but you got my interest anyway. I'll give you a few more chapters to see if you keep it. Good luck ^^

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I know right I gave up trying to find one and write it myself

9794555
Thanks for the advice I'm going to be reworking this chapter before I start the next.

9795587
Thanks for the help I'm working to improve this chapter.

Odd question, but how does the underwear fit if she has no legs?

9798941
I was thinking kinda like they do for Mia from Monster Musume, basically a crotch patch.