Over a year had passed since Shining first became a cuckold alongside Sombra and Cadance. But even with how extreme the three have been taking their relationship, Sombra was curious about testing how far Shining was willing to go as his "Private"...
Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
959 users online
74,874 hits today, 2,130,388 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sombra's genuine confusion is hilarious...but then again, not surprising considering he is a former villain. Being welcomed by others simply due to his actions and placement without any form of conquest or displacement as it were would be hard for him to grasp.
I wonder how Cadence will react to something like this, also the other Princesses.
The story just got even more interesting.
How this was a lot more fun chapter then the divorce one, Really loved that Shining signed away his freedom on this one.
Yelp, this fic keeps getting spicier and spicier. Can’t wait to see where all this stuffs gunna lead. Though I am a bit worried to see Night Light’s reaction to how much his (ex)wife is enjoying Sombra’s company
I actually really liked the slave contract and I love even more that Shining was so quick to sign it! I really can't wait for his castration though! It's been teased for so long!
I am enjoying how the eroticism is growing while the softer, realistic elements are starting to come into focus, but I'd prefer more intimacy between Shining and Sombra/Cadance and Sombra (to a lesser extent; you've done good there) to sell it.
When you have Shining signing a contract or taking a major step in his journey to being treated as an inferior, it's usually the climax of Sombra toying with how Sombra reacts to certain things, how he himself does, and then putting it into practice. Seeing then feel out their relationship as it changes--its sexual, but there is, as I've noticed, echoes of what a real relationship looks like, and if we are genuinely going with the throuple option, it seems as though the logical step is to try to show that relationship as existing in a real way, both through and outside of the eroticism.
Whatever happens, this addition of validating the relationship outside of play comes with interesting implications. Because everything has been carefully constructed by Sombra and Cadance to fulfill a fantasy--even the logistics of making it all feasible. That worked when he was a fuck buddy who was only there to participate in their relationship in a purely sexual way, but now? Shining is totally uninvolved in the actual relationship in any real way. Sombra and Cadance don't communicate about it with him, and Shining doesn't seem to talk about Sombra with Cadance outside of 'scene talk'. Certainly not about the role Sombra plays in the relationship as an equal member. It seems normal as any relationship turns romantic after being sexual, and maybe the negative consequences of...literally every single character making big relationship mistakes will come crashing down on them all, buuuuut I don't think that's too erotic to read about, so perhaps not.
That's only my perspective, and it may be that you're saving this for the climax and/or only intend for Cadance to date both of them and not Shining to date Sombra. I'd say that in the first case, I'd say you're holding a little too much back for the climax to be as satisfying without a real bedrock of romantic buildup to resolve, and in the second, well, it definitely seems like that wouldn't be wholly consistent with how the characters have acted towards each other in this story. There's clearly something there.
. .the third option might be that Cadance and Sombra might be ready to take their relationship to a real place, but Shining and Sombra aren't, and there may be a whole 'nother story dedicating to them coming into their own as a couple. And maybe, partially, reconnecting with Cadance more after this extreme erotic focus that their relationship has been colored by. Might lead to a decent story showing how they act as a throple, really coming into it.
Or I could be completely wrong.
Hey, it's your story and the commissioner's show. I would like to say that you've done a great job at recontextualizing these past few chapters to be less spiteful and bitter, and though I think there's some more work to go to tie everything together insofar as giving us a real relationship that we can believe in and that seems healthy and able to last a while, it feels like with a firm hand on the reins, that really can be solved in the climax/epilogue with minor touches, a few short conversations, and the right descriptive finesse.
You kick ass, and if I thought you wouldn't think of me as too much of a pain in the ass to work with--you can't edit for as long as I have and not be, really--I might have taken up one of your commission slots in future. As it stands, all I can do is tell you that I'm loving your work.
Paperwork fetish is strong in this story. It's quite amusing.
10210702
You gotta admit, it's definitely a means to act villainous without actually breaking any laws.;)
10210715
Honestly the official/royal/legal paper play is what sold me to the series as a whole. Part 2 being the one that hooked me to be specific. Gotta thank brojangles for this commission.
10210715
We love it. Please don't stop!
10210715
There is something quite satisfying about it, like it adds another layer to this grand game there playing
i agree the paper work is great, cant wait to see if twilight can get official slave papers and wonder if shinning is going to get branded
Any chance we can get a preview or a hint of what’s next?
10231702
All that I'll say is this...
Shining is going to be staying in that armor for quite a while~
Anxiously awaiting the next chapter.
10274290
Yeah, I apologize for the delays. Last month was pretty hectic with many commissions and Patreon stories in my schedule (not to mention my full-time job as an "essential worker"). I'm currently working on a few bigger projects this month, but I intend to release chapter 13 before July. ;)
10274304
Awesome. :)