Chapter the Second
Apple Munchies poked the body on her blanket with a stick.
The body did nothing.
He’d stopped breathing a while ago, and she’d tried earth pony healing magic and CPR, but neither had done anything useful. That was too bad; he’d been kind of cute.
Her eyes darted over to the mostly-empty bottle of apple blossom brandy, and she wondered if that had been the cause, then dismissed it. She’d been drinking out of the same bottle, and she was just fine. A little bit tipsy, yes, that was the point of alcohol, but certainly not passing-out drunk, and especially not dead.
As distasteful as it was, she couldn’t leave a body cluttering up her yard, not to mention it wouldn’t do to report it to the authorities. There was nothing they could do about it, and she’d be left with lots of boring paperwork and interviews which was hardly her idea of a fun time.
He should have told her that he couldn’t hold his liquor.
* * *
Getting the body on her back was the first challenge. He was floppy and heavy and she had to sort of push him partially upright and then let him fall onto her, then shift him around as best she could until he was more or less balanced.
His arms and legs hung off and she had to walk carefully to avoid stepping on them as she walked to Applejack’s farm.
* * *
It would have been more polite to dump him off around the corner before knocking, but she didn’t relish the idea of trying to pick him up again, and it felt undignified to have to drag him by her teeth, so she left him draped across her back as she gently pounded on the door.
A few moments later, Applejack opened it, and looked at her in confusion. “Munchies? What brings you around at this hour?”
“Little problem,” she said, tilting her head towards her back.
Applejack glanced around her. “Ah. Is he dead?”
“As a doornail.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. We were drinking out back of my place, and then he laid down and then after a while he stopped breathing and that was that.”
“Did you take him to the hospital?”
“What for? Dead’s dead.”
“Fair.” Applejack reached over and grabbed her Stetson. “Well, looks like you’re gonna owe me for this.”
“I know.” She shifted her weight then bounced her back—he was starting to slide off. “I don’t mean to be rude, but he’s no lightweight.”
“Of course. Just step back a bit and get turned around, and I’ll follow you out to Piggington’s pen.”
“I really appreciate this.”
* * *
Getting him into the pen wasn’t too difficult. Applejack stood guard, lest Piggington be too eager for a midnight meal, and Apple Munchies simply sat down on her rump, causing his corpse to slide off into the muck. She had to tug a little bit to get her tail out from under him, but that was a small price to pay.
Once she was out of the pen, the two mares hooked their forelegs over the fence and watched Piggington work. There was something both morbid and yet beautiful as he sniffed at the corpse and then dug into the flesh.
“It’ll take a couple days,” Applejack said. “On account of how big he is.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know how long it takes humans to spoil . . . could be he won’t eat it all, but I can tell Fluttershy to send her vultures over. They’ll take what’s left.”
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Alright, I suppose you can get the proof a little too high... Gosh, who knew you could make everclear out of apple blossoms?
I'm having flash back to Snatch.
Piggington's going to be a little blotto too. Darned drunk pigs.
Missed the Dark tag, hit this second chapter, and then, yeah.
Not Applejack's first corpse, or first human corpse either. Are pigs sentient in this 'verse? Guess it doesn't really matter, protein is protein.
9753773
All animals are sentient. If they weren't, they would be dead, for one reason or another.
9753681
That was my first thought when Pigginton was mentioned...
9753667
True story, I’ve frequently referenced a rather long list of what flowers you can make wines out of, and apple blossoms are on the list.
Once you’ve got it fermented, you can crank the proof up as high as you want. Whether you should is of course a different matter.
I suppose when the proof gets high enough, it all tastes like rocket fuel anyway.
9753681
That movie’s why it’s my headcanon that Applejack keeps pigs to get rid of pesky bodies.
9753684
That’s a good point. That could be a problem, since AJ’s got cows for him to fight.
9753773
That’s just one of the things about being a farmer as well as the head of the organized apple syndicate in Equestria. There are constantly bodies which need to be disposed of.
Yes, and sapient, too. They’re also not opposed to having several filling meals of pickled human.
9753961
The real question is whether plants are.
9753962
As well it should have been.
Well that escalated quickly.
9754261
It always does when you’ve got a dead body to dispose of.
The pigs are for export to Gryphon and Diamond Dog and Abyssinian lands, of course. The fact Ponies don't eat meat doesn't mean nobody else does.
This chapter is too light on the horse facts. I do not feel very informed. Uneased. Squickful. Tumblyous. But not informed.
Very disappointing; I give it a ~ out of Π.
9755132
That’s certainly a possibility. They might also do the same with the cows and sheep once they get too old to produce milk or wool.
9755190
IRL horses don’t like dead bodies, I suppose that’s a worthwhile horse fact.
Speaking of undignified, there's no mention of Piggington having to work around any clothing. Which means that while Apple Munchies carried him...
Oh.
I was right?
9768696
You were indeed right.
9760664
I suppose you can imagine that Piggington is smart enough to unwrap his dinner.
Or you can imagine that Apple Munches stripped him down first (and it’s not like he needed his clothes any more . . .).