Chapter 24 - Donkey Business
Party Popper had to wait for an opportunity to strike. The plan hinged on it… insofar as she had one.
In the meantime, she needed to keep up appearances, and that meant figuring out what Pinkie Pie was supposed to be doing.
She made her way back into the castle. Talking to the Bearers was too dangerous, but she knew one pony she could ask who wouldn't have reason to suspect anything.
"Hey, Coconut Cream!"
"At your service, Miss Pinkie Pie," Coconut Cream said with a proper royal guard salute. Popper briefly imagined the colt in the pictures she'd seen making the same gesture, a playful dissonance against the warm atmosphere of the Glazed Miracles bakery.
"I'm kind of lost again. Do you know where, uh, that thing I've been working on is?" Whatever it was.
"Ah, after you finished the baking, you started working in the third courtyard, right?"
"Sure," Popper said noncommittally.
"Follow me."
As Coconut Cream led her towards the third courtyard, they were both silent for a while. Then he spoke up, unprompted. "I got a letter from my parents today."
"Oh?" Popper said, "How are they doing?"
"They're okay, but they had a run-in with changelings. They replaced my dad for a night, to drain love from my mom. So mom's a bit exhausted and dad's head hurts, and apparently the changeling galloped off with a waitress or something. There was a whole police chase and everything."
"Changelings, huh… at least they're not all that bad, right?"
Coconut Cream stopped in his tracks and looked back at her. "Really? Miss Pinkie Pie, you were here when they attacked Canterlot. You fought them! I saw you fight them, wishing I could be that brave, feeling like a joke behind my spear and armor. How can you of all ponies say changelings aren't bad?"
"I… I guess I've just… met some good ones since then."
His face hardened, his lips drawing back. "Right. That one."
They fell silent again as they resumed trotting towards the courtyard.
"Hey, Nuts," Popper said, barely even noticing herself calling the guard by the foalhood nickname his parents had told her about, "do you exchange letters with Bear Hug and Sweet Tooth often?"
"Did you just call me— Oh, uh, yeah, I do. I was going to send one back tonight, after my shift."
"Could you do me a favor and write something from me? Just a short message."
"I– sure."
"Could you write 'Popper says sorry'? Not my name, just 'Popper'. It's— it's a nickname. They'll understand."
"Will do, Miss Pinkie Pie," Coconut Cream said. He paused, then added, "...hey, can I call you Popper too?"
Party Popper smiled. It was a real smile, the kind that had grown surprisingly rare on her adventure. "Go nuts."
"Here we are," Coconut Cream declared as they reached an archway that opened out into a large courtyard.
Popper thanked him for the help, and with a smile, he trotted off to resume his other guardspony duties.
The third courtyard was a roughly rectangular space surrounded by parts of the castle. A modest amount of carefully trimmed vegetation filled the middle, interspersed with countless benches and tables large enough for two or three ponies to sit comfortably. At the far end, Popper could see a gate that led out to the public plaza in front of the castle.
But what stood out the most were the numerous stalls arranged by the walls. Party Popper immediately knew what they were.
Pinkie Pie had been setting up festival games for couples.
One stall contained a stack of tin cans and an absurd number of stuffed toys carrying little plush hearts. Another had a circular target and a mechanism that would dump a pony into water if the target was hit by a projectile. Or maybe if one hit the wall behind the target? She couldn't quite tell. There was an enclosed photobooth, next to a painted facade with holes for faces and another camera. In one corner, a counter had been set up that was clearly designed to sell baked goods from, although the goodies themselves weren't there yet.
Though she knew it was simply being prepared for the Festival of Love, it all looked a little strange to Party Popper, gave her the eerie feeling of wrongness that filled spaces meant for crowds when the crowds didn't. The courtyard would soon be filled with laughter, activity, love and joy, but there was nopony there now. Only things that sat still, passively containing the potential for FUN and happiness but not doing any of it.
Party Popper picked up a bean bag somepony had left on the counter of the dunk tank game.
It was, apparently, when one missed that the other pony would get dunked. Presumably it was meant as a couples' trust exercise – either you hit the target and won a prize, or you missed and dropped your special somepony into the tank. For many couples, either outcome would be FUN.
"Nice throw," said a cheery voice behind her.
Party Popper spun around, startled. By a table she hadn't noticed, partially hidden from her original vantage point by the vegetation that shaded it, sat three creatures she didn't know.
The one who had spoken to her was a young, female donkey. She wore a scarf despite the heat, and a pair of large, round goggles adorned the top of her short mane.
Next to her sat a purple unicorn wearing a pair of green-framed glasses and a blue cloak decorated with stars. Popper thought the unicorn might be a stallion, but between their small stature and the pair of maneclips keeping their long brown mane out of their face, she couldn't be sure.
The third creature was an undisguised changeling. That had to be Thorax. Popper thought she could see the light that slipped through the canopy sparkle in his wings, in a way she hadn't seen with the other changelings she'd met. Something hung around his neck on a rope, but she couldn't tell from afar what it was.
"Nice throw? But I missed," Popper said.
The donkey smiled. "It was nice anyway. It's not about hitting, but trying, and you put all your feelings into trying. That's what makes it a nice throw."
"I suppose…"
"Only shame is there was no one there to drop into the water. I'm sure you'd both have a good laugh about it. Now, who did you just imagine dropping into the water, huh?"
Popper felt a blush on her cheeks. For once, her pink fur was a good thing. "What? I didn't–"
The donkey laughed. "You're such a bad liar. Never mind that, your secrets are safe with me. Anyway, come on, P.P., sit down!" She gestured to Thorax and the unicorn. "This is Thorax, reformed changeling, and Focus Flare, the Royal Artificer. But you knew that already, of course."
"Good morning, Pinkie Pie," said the artificer. Thorax gave a simple wave, glancing at the donkey with a puzzled expression.
"G-good morning," Party Popper said, more nervously than she would have liked. Something about the donkey unsettled her, though she couldn't put her hoof on what. She seemed genuine and friendly enough, but so did the Council members.
Still, she trotted over to the table and sat down.
"Nice hat," Thorax said.
Popper tried to put a little more pep in her voice, in order to get back into character. "Thanks!"
"Thorax was just about to tell us a bit about his time with the changelings," the donkey said.
"I-I'm sure Pinkie Pie doesn't want to listen to my whining, miss," Thorax said meekly. "It's not that interesting."
I'd love to hear something other than my thoughts right now, Popper thought.
"I disagree," said the artificer. "Getting to know you over the last week of working on the Heartshield has really shown me how much I don't know about you changelings and your magic. That hive of yours, did you say it shifts and changes like you do?"
"Yes— well, no— well… not exactly like us," Thorax explained, "it's more chaotic and gradual. It's not like how we flash green and come out with a completely different appearance. It's more… a hole opens here and one closes over there. We have pretty strong instincts for making our way around the hive, though."
"Fascinating," Focus Flare said, a genuine smile on their face. "It sounds like changeling magic might be infused into the very stone!"
"You mean… the hive itself might be an enormous artifact, like the Heartshield?"
"Not exactly like it, but a similar principle. If there's anything our collaboration has taught me, it's that changeling magic is a fundamentally different kind than the pony magic I normally work with. Tapping into your changeling magic in order to specialize Shining Armor's protective barrier spell wasn't easy."
Thorax drank a sip from his glass of chocolate milk. "I still don't know how I feel about it working so well. I mean, of course I want the Festival to be safe, but not being able to transform… it feels so strange."
"Heh," Focus Flare said, "welcome to the world the rest of us live in."
"And I mean, it doesn't exactly help me fit in." Thorax gestured to the thing around his neck, which Popper could now see was a wooden sign. Reformed changeling, it read, don't be afraid!
"Just be yourself," the donkey said, "I'm sure people will come around once they get used to you."
"People?"
"Ponies. Sorry, it's a donkey dialect."
"I don't know. Even the guards give me weird looks, and the princesses told them about me being reformed, face to face."
"Maybe some of them suspect the princesses have been replaced," Focus Flare idly mused.
Everypony – and the donkey – fell silent.
"Not that I'm suggesting they have been!" the artificer quickly added.
"It sounds like something the Qu— I mean, Chrysalis might try to do," Thorax said solemnly. His expression reminded Popper of Clypeus. "Oh, nopony's ever going to trust me, are they? Nopony but Spike, the Council and Princess Cadence. Even Shining Armor still sends me suspicious glances sometimes, despite what Spike did for me."
"I trust you," Focus Flare said.
"Queen Chrysalis is the one who can't be trusted," the donkey said cheerily, "isn't that right, P.P.?"
"Huh?" Popper said, startled by the question being directed at her, "Uh, yeah, I guess."
The donkey nodded as though that was exactly the answer she had wanted, but continued looking at Popper as though expecting her to continue.
"Y-yeah, that meanie tried to do all sorts of stuff," Popper obliged, focusing as hard as she could in an attempt to access the vague knowledge she had inherited from Pinkie Pie, "with the… wedding and the… the thing."
The donkey laughed. "Careful, I wouldn't want Shining Armor to hear you speaking of Princess Cadence like that if I were you. Oh hey, speak of the devil!" She pointed at one of the doorways leading into the castle. Through the doorway, Popper could see Shining Armor passing by, alone.
Popper clenched her jaw. This was her opportunity, wasn't it? She just had to work out how to use it.
"What's a devil?" Thorax asked.
"Actually," Popper said, getting up, "I have to go. Little fillies' room to visit, festival work to do, that thing at the place, y-you know how it is."
"See you later, Pinkie," Thorax said. Focus Flare simply nodded.
Popper only took two steps towards the doorway before the donkey spoke. "I think I'll go with you for a bit," she said casually, "I need to go to the little jennies' room too, and besides, you're going the wrong way. Come on, I'll show you where the nearest one is."
"Uh, sure," Popper said with an inward curse as she followed the donkey towards a doorway on the opposite side from where Shining Armor had been.
She thought she could hear Focus Flare behind her, speaking to Thorax less quietly than they probably intended. "Did you know that donkey…?"
As the two of them walked through the open doorway, they fell into an awkward silence. There was definitely something off about this donkey, the way she looked at Popper, the words she used.
"You know what's funny, P.P.?" the donkey finally said, turning a corner into another empty hallway.
"What?"
"I honestly have no idea where the toilets are either. Really hope you didn't actually have to go."
"W-what?" Popper repeated. She hadn't, but how did the donkey know that? Why had she led Popper away? As much as Popper's instincts told her to gallop, she found herself stopping as the donkey did.
"I just wanted to talk to you a little in private. You know, I've been watching your story for a bit, and I'm kind of concerned about you."
"My story? I-I'm just a party pony who likes to bring smiles to everypony's faces."
"Oh, you're that for sure, but you're certainly not just that, Party Popper. Look, I know what happened in Ponyville was hard for you, but you have to believe me, nobody meant anything bad by it. I'm sure if Twi—"
"Nopony meant anything bad?!" Popper spat, fear transmuted into rage in an instant. Suddenly, she didn't care how the donkey knew so much about her, only that she had said too much. "They killed them! She killed them!"
"Twilight thought they would—"
"—'go back where they came from', I know! That's what I gathered from some of the citizens of Ponyville, who were oh so relieved that there was only one Pinkie Pie again. But what if there wasn't a 'where they came from'? If you know so much about this, tell me! Did they ever think about that?!"
"I don't know. That wasn't part of the story. I'm sorry, please stop crying… This wasn't… this wasn't what I came here to do. I'm sorry."
"I-I'm crying?" Popper asked weakly, tears streaming down her face. She sat down on the floor and wiped them away with a hoof. "What did you come here to do?"
"I'm not really supposed to do this, but I wanted to come and nudge you a little in the right direction."
"To manipulate me?"
"Well, sort of, but you're already being manipulated. I just wanted to help you see that."
"I'm doing what I have to," Popper said quietly, "for their sake."
"But who else are you helping by doing it? Chrysalis is a villain. She'll use you in any way she can."
"Stories… If she's a villain, the heroes are the Council, aren't they? I'm not sure I want to be in a story where they're the heroes. I… I don't think I could deal with that."
"P.P., you can still turn this around. Don't do what Chrysalis told you to do."
"Don't," Popper said, "Just… don't. Please. I'm sorry I'm not the hero you wanted me to be. I'm not sure anypony is that hero anymore."
The donkey frowned, but then gave a sad smile. "I guess it was worth a shot. It looks like the chapter is ending soon anyway, so my time is up. I just have one last thing I have to do before I leave, legally speaking."
"Legally? Wait, you're not about to tell the Council about me, are—"
The donkey began to glow faintly as she spoke in an uncharacteristically stilted tone, "The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition: This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, that others might use this property as they wish. All rights reversed." Finally, she added in her normal cheery voice, "Speaking legally. Good luck, Party Popper."
Then she vanished with a flash of light, leaving Party Popper alone in an empty hallway, wondering what the buzz had just happened.
As well as where the nearest restroom was.
Elsewhere:
"She probably did it by lifting weights! YEAH!"
"Nnnope."
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So I guess that Donkey was Discord.
Lol the puns I love it 🤣
I mean it is empty so it can be a little creepy sometimes I always remember that when I was young when I went to something like that when your be your self
Oh thorax don't be like that you been through a lot and hopefully maybe popper can understand as well
Trust me thorax you really don't want to know it's a little terrifying
Yeah same here as well but wait a minute how the heck did she know that and not only that how did she knows that's not the real Pinkie Pie who is that donkey
Yeah popper you don't think she will do the same thing to you once you did your duty she'll probably do even worse things to you
If Discord is Q, then Jenny is the tail?
I mean, how hard to put public signs up pointing out important locations like exits, toilets, evacuation routes and toilets that are emergancy evacuation routes?
Jenny Everywhere (or as I like to call her in this form, Jenny Everymare) is an open source character. She is usually aware of the fourth wall and capable of shifting between the realities of various fictional works, and pays visits to a wide variety of them
Huh to be honest I never heard of that before this is the first time I'm hearing it but okay cool
Oh wow that was something so it looks like party popper is still trying to locate shining armor and hopefully the source of the magic but she was looking around at the party favors and everything but then she realized she wasn't alone there were three creatures a donkey a unicorn and our pal Changeling thorax and basically they're just hanging around talking to each other and thorax giving some a little information about his homeland but then party saw shining armor basically needed to Spring the Trap but she couldn't because the female donkey wanted to go with her to find the bathroom which blew up her plan but once they were alone apparently this donkey is something else that she knows who party popper is and she's trying to tell her what she's doing is wrong but party had too much hatred inside of her heart and wanted Revenge which that's such a unfortunate but still who is that female donkey I feel like I should know who's that is and I just hope that party popper will do the right thing and not go through with this and not letting Revenge consume her well I guess we'll find out next time
Jenny sure gets around
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Nope, Miss Everywhere is a completely different character. Mostly because I don't see how you'd be recognizably Jenny Everywhere and recognizably Q at the same time.
Eh...
This story suddenly feels desecrated by its own author...
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If it helps, this meta stuff won't have a huge impact on the plot, and will be contained to this chapter (aside from Popper remembering that it happened). It's not like Jenny's visit here is going to deus ex machina things into going the way they need to; everything she contributes here is really just a particularly absurd additional hoof on the beacon for things various other elements in this arc (and even in this chapter) are already doing.
I've always had a taste for meta shenanigans, but I know it needs to be handled carefully so as to not derail everything.
It's an... Interesting choice to commit to this, specifically since this story hadn't even remotely touched hard-meta breaking shenanigans until now (while the "shortcut" is certainly a reference to the traditional Pinkie fourth-wall break it was done in a way that isn't tonally different to the world/story it's a part of)
Now this is no offence to the concept of Jenny everywhere, but I wish the twist of the chapter replaced her with a mare with little narrative description that Thorax and the Artificer never acknowledge if the reader pays attention, as the chapter moves on they are described with more and more traits that match Pinkie Pie, and by the time they leave with Popper it's revealed to be an internal debate with a mental image of herself (or a fellow clone) that disappears when she realizes what is happening.
All that aside, if the takeaway is that Popper reflects on what was said, as a point of internal struggle, then I don't mind the twist much at the end of the day.
Either way, I hope that despite the bold nature of this chapter, people like it. It was a bit different than what I'm used to but I do ultimately have a positive opinion of it