Chapter 6 - Reunion
Clypeus frowned.
Being in a cell had sucked, but listening to Mandible go off on his rescuer wasn't much better. Apparently Proboscis hadn't been supposed to get Clypeus out the way she did, and now Frons, Gena and Labrum were inside the station looking for an empty cell. And to make matters worse, it seemed about a dozen police officers had just gone on break, all at once.
He hadn't quite gathered where the changeling in the Pinkie Pie form and noir getup had come from, but he was grateful. It had been nice to get out of a tricky situation peacefully for once, not having to worry about getting caught, about hurting ponies or taking things from them.
At least Mandible had given him something to do while they waited for the rest of the squad, something that helped keep Clypeus from listening to the seemingly undeserved tirade Proboscis was receiving. Standing by the mouth of the alleyway the ornery changeling had brought them to, Clypeus looked diagonally across an intersection to the front of the police station.
Unfortunately, nothing was happening, and so his focus drifted.
"–and yeah, you did get Clypeus out of there, great buzzing job, but you should have told us! We could have tried it without sending the others in on a maggot's errand! And without risking somepony recognizing you! Tell me, what do we do if Frons, Gena and Labrum get caught in there because of you?" Mandible gave Proboscis no time to answer. "They won't take bail for three changelings, even if you have enough bits to feed an army–"
Mandible did have a point, but it was hard to listen to. After all, it was all Clypeus' fault.
He had always preferred giving things to ponies over taking them away. He wasn't the happiest of changelings himself, he knew, but that just made him appreciate it more when he could bring happiness to a pony with a well-placed gift. The excuse he told other changelings was true, of course – receiving gifts brought a pony's love for the perceived giver to the forefront, making it easier to drain – but the draining was his least favorite part of it. It was a shame he had to do it to survive.
The problem with wanting to give things to ponies, though, was that you had to have something to give. Which meant he needed to take something. Usually he settled for small things, things that were easy to steal without notice, but last night he had gotten too ambitious. For reasons he could barely remember, he had convinced himself that Noble Gas would be absolutely thrilled at receiving a particularly shiny piece of jewelry from his coltfriend. A piece of jewelry that had been protected by multiple alarm spells.
His time in jail served him right for trying to steal something so expensive from a unicorn's shop, but it wasn't fair on the rest of the squad, on Proboscis, and certainly not on Noble Gas or the real Golden Carrot. Clypeus hoped the police officers would eventually figure out what had happened, so that they could at least set things straight between the lovers.
Clypeus was jolted out of his thoughts as he noticed motion across the intersection. The doors to the police station opened and eight police officers rushed out, spearheaded by the sergeant. Strict Order, Clypeus thought his name was. Strict Order began pointing at officers and in the various directions the roads went, clearly issuing orders that matched his name. The officers split up, but the sergeant stayed put, looking expectantly at the doors.
Two of the officers were heading their way.
Mandible was still chewing out Proboscis, who was sitting in front of him, frowning. "–what kind of changeling even thinks of a solution like that? Oh right, a buzzing idiotic one! You–"
Clypeus winced at the insult. Mandible could be rather harsh, even for a changeling. He didn't want to get caught in the crossfire, but he had to interrupt. "Mandible."
Mandible glared daggers.
"Police officers on their way here," Clypeus said quickly.
"Oh buzz." Mandible looked around quickly. The alleyway was much like every other alleyway in the city – narrow and dirty with few contents. This one had a large dumpster at its dead end, though, and it was that Mandible chose as a hiding spot. Clypeus reluctantly followed.
"Are you sure?" Proboscis said, not seeming to realize the urgency. "I mean, if you're going to go dumpster diving, at least bring your scuba gear!" Somehow, she produced swimming goggles and a snorkel from her mane before cannonballing into the dumpster. Trash overflowed in every direction as she landed, and the dumpster shook so hard the lid closed on its own once she was in. Everything went dark, leaving just enough light to see the contours of a large bag an inch in front of his muzzle.
"That was FUN! What's next? Ooh, I have an idea: I spy with my little eye, something smelly!"
"Shh!" came Mandible's reply.
From outside, a deep stallion's voice was muffled by the stinking bags of garbage surrounding Clypeus. "I thought I heard something in this alleyway."
A mare with a strange accent replied, "Well, ain't nothin' here, is there, luv?"
"Doesn't look like it. It must've been that damn wind picking back up, I guess."
Muted hoofsteps told of the officers trotting away from the dumpster.
A minute or two later, wingflaps entered the alleyway from above.
"Looks like we're too late," said a stallion's voice in Frons' cadence. "The police must've chased them off if they were here."
"Let's head back to the hive and meet them there if they got away," Gena suggested. "I'm sick of taking risks."
Labrum sounded like he had been laughing and could barely contain it. "I still can't believe you thought that wimp was me!"
"Oh shut up," Gena said.
"Did you get it yet?" asked Proboscis in a loud whisper that was only barely muffled by the bags.
"Get what?" Clypeus said, wriggling to start pushing open the lid above him.
Proboscis launched upwards, slamming the lid open with her whole body. "IT WAS 'GARBAGE'!"
A chorus of surprised yelps came from outside, followed by Labrum breaking into another fit of laughter. Clypeus wasn't much for laughter himself, but even he wished he could've seen the looks on Frons and Gena's borrowed faces.
As he pulled himself out of the dumpster with a slight smile, Clypeus wondered if maybe traveling with Proboscis wouldn't be so bad.
He also wondered if any of the others had realized she wasn't a changeling yet.
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Hehe
And just like that, a chorus of disappointed head shakes for our bug pone crew. Except Clypeus. Clypeus gets it.
Clypeus is the Straight Bug?
9741415
I get what you mean wrt comedy tropes, but let's take a moment to appreciate the irony of saying that about the guy who was just trying to insert himself into a gay couple.
I've actually been thinking of Frons as the Straight Bug of the squad, but I suppose they're both Straight Bugs in different ways.
Clypeus is great, and once again that ending was perfect (I keep telling myself just one more, then you go and pull endings like this). And the “IT WAS GARBAGE” got me to burst out laughing
I need to stop choking on laughter.
I wonder if he noticed that this Pinkie Pie is not a changeling but a clone 🤔
It looks like they got themself out of the situation and hopefully make their Hasty Escape but it looks like some of the changeling starting to feel guilty for lying to the ponies do they really are and despite their stealing the love I guess thorax is not the only one feeling guilty how about this
10641931
Part of the logic behind how I write changelings in this story is that after Thorax showed what happens when a changeling fully embraces sharing love, the rest of them were very quick to follow his lead, and most of them happy to do so.
So I figure the average changeling is not necessarily all bad, and Thorax's compassion is not unique. His status comes from being the one to actually take that step outside Chrysalis' control and later publicly show the hive what good it could do them.
It certainly doesn't hurt that this approach let me play with the lings' loyalties and attitudes towards their tasks. Party Popper traveling with five pure evil love-stealing caricatures would get boring quickly.