Showing the room
So I'm going to rewrite the story, but the first chapter will continue the same. I hope you like the new rewritten story I'm going to do
After Twilight Sparkle stopped jumping like a happy filly, Luna started walking, Twilight Sparkle imagined she should follow Luna, and that's what she did.
Luna saw Twilight Velvet in the waiting room, "hi, are you Twilight's mother?" asked Luna.
Twilight Velvet took her eyes off the magazine and saw Luna, "oh, yes, princess"
"Your daughter passed the test and is now my student", said Luna.
"Oh, good, Princess," said Twilight Velvet. "She had studied to pass the test. Yesterday she was attacking the books"
Luna smiled at the answer. At least Twilight Sparkle was dedicated and good at magic. Who knows Twilight Sparkle isn't the future element of magic that would save Celestia?
"Well, i'm going to the Castle to show her the room she's going to sleep, bye"
"Bye Princess"
When Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle left school and arrived at the castle, the Moon Guards let Luna and Twilight Sparkle pass. As they walked, Luna looked at Twilight Sparkle, "so, Twilight, are you excited to learn?"
Twilight Sparkle looked at Luna with a smile, "very, Princess"
Luna smiled at Twilight Sparkle, she couldn't help but notice that Twilight Sparkle's Cutie Mark was related to hers, because Luna's was a moon and Twilight Sparkle's a six pointed star around five stars.
After a few minutes walking in the corridor, Luna opened a door, "this is your room"
Twilight Sparkle entered the room and admired him. She couldn't help but notice that in her bedroom she had a balcony with a telescope, a bookcase, and her bed blanket had moons and stars. Twilight Sparkle went to Luna and hugged, "thank you, Princess, i loved"
Luna smiled happily as she stroked the Twilight Sparkle mane with a hoof, "i'm glad you liked it, my student"
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Another sequel, now!
9461932
Will have a sequel yes
9461934
Yay!
Amazing story. But can you please capitalize the F in ‘fall’? It’s really annoying me.
Not trying to be rude.
9461930
Yeah, I wanted to enjoy this but it didn't really feel like twilight and Luna in this story to me either.
9462045
Thanks!
Nice job! I feel like Twilight and Luna could have used some fleshing out to match what they would have said while in the 'Fall' comic, but this is not bad. :)