The tragedy of Sacanas

by Leondude

Chapter 15 - Master and apprentice reunited

After absorbing the alicorn's magic, and allowing Eddie to eat the alicorn whole, Sacanas and the band of mercenaries he hired exited the world they came in and smashed the mirror back into pieces so as not to arouse any suspicions. Though, since that it was daytime when they came back, that means the castle will be swarming with guards at this point. Eddie looked through the partially opened door and licked his lips.

"So many snacks, so little time"

But before any of them could even think of stepping out of the room, Sacanas used the time spell to plonk them back in the night when they came in.

"Ooh, magical hamster-ball!" Dead Poop said excitedly

I think you know where this is going. Anyways, after getting sucked up and spat out by the hamster ball...I mean time spell, Sacanas led his band of mercenaries to the Everfree Forest to discuss the subject of payment.

"Do you know where you're going?" Death Stroke asked

"Indeed I do!" Sacanas replied ecstatically "I just need to mail this message to a contact of mine so we can find a safe place to hand over your payment without getting eaten by manticores, bugbears and what other nasty creatures the forest has to offer". Soon enough, after an exchange of messages, the group finally reached their destination. And in doing so, they encountered an enormous dragon. Sacanas can only stare in surprise while Dead Poop.....Well....Dead Pooped.

"Sanies?"

"It's Lord Sanies now, I've taken up being a crime lord"

"Well, given how you've literally made it big, have you ever considered calling yourself a dark lord? Given your penchant for Tartarian Magic"

"I'll keep that in mind"

Sanies then stared at the mercs Sacanas has brought with him, with the one in the red jumpsuit fainting.

"I take it these are the guys that require payment"

"Yes, one billion bits! They would also accept ten thousand gems too"

Sanies then inhaled deeply before breathing fire directly at the mercenaries, with Sacanas only barely managed to teleport out of the way of. Sacanas then chuckled.

"Just as we agreed, right boys?"

Sacanas then looked at Sanies, who was given him a serious look.

"What?"

"Since I have been busy in your absence, I think now would be a good time to let me in on your plan"

"Ah yes, of course! Here it is!"

Sacanas then whipped out a piece of paper and telekinetically handed it over to Sanies. Sanies then gave a good look at the plan. It read as followed:

Four o'clock, wallow in self pity

Four-thirty, stare into the abyss

Five o'clock, solve world hunger (tell no one)

Five-thirty, jazzercize

Six-thirty, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again

Seven o'clock, wrestle with my self-loathing

"Very funny" Sanies said in a very dry tone.

"What can I say? I have issues! Sooooooo, what have you been up to in my absence?"

"It's simple really"

Author's Note:

I suppose in a way, Sacanas is quite similar to Jim Carrey's version of The Grinch (to the point that a part of me can't help but wonder if Jim Carrey would be a good voice for him). RECENT EDIT DUE TO THE ANGRY MARINE'S DEATH AND THE DESK MARINE REPLACING HIM AND I FIGURED I MIGHT SAY THIS BEFORE I FORGET LIKE I DID LAST TIME: Haha! You thought the Jim Carrey references were only limited to A series of unfortunate events that leads to another redeemed villain, yay!

Ahem

What?

Aren't we gonna address the elephant in the room? You know, the one labeled "YOU JUST DID WHAT THE PHANTOM MENACE DID AND KILLED SUCH AWESOME BAD GUYS!!!!"

A. Darth Maul was brought back in The Clone Wars animated series. And B. Since that you're still here, you're not dead!

I'm not?! Sweet! Although if I'm appearing in any follow-up stories, you better pay me twice the bits you paid me for this story!

Will do