oh god, this just keeps getting grosser and funnier

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seriously, I can't get enough of Moth's comedy

Fluttershy shrugged. "Futa really grosses him out," she said. A small, evil smirk graced her pretty yellow face. "It'd be worth it just to see his reaction to this. Also, if he does still go for it despite the giant horse penis, just think about my creepy brother getting completely splattered in horse cum ..."

Child-like voice: Mommy, Fluttershy is scaring me.

took the dick's blood pressure

Twilight: The fact that I'm able to do this with a standard arm-cuff sphygmomanometer is absurd.
Sunset: This whole scenario is absurd.
Dash: That sphyg-whatever word is absurd.

Nice to see an acknowledgement of the anatomical impossibility of the situation.

"Purely in the interest of collecting as much data as possible for a thorough scientific study of the phenomenon, I would like to observe its behavior during..." She licked her lips. "Stimulation."

The amount of chutzpah necessary to suggest this when the subject's mother is in the room...
Put crudely, Twilight has bigger balls than Rainbow Dash.

"I'm scared now," Sunset said quietly. "How did I ever get away with bullying you? You're pure evil."

Eh, only when tormenting her brother is on the table.

I see we're going with a Ditzy Shoes ship for this one.

In any case... yeah, there are really no good options here. Even the deliberate choice to avoid stimulation might just prompt the thing to, shall we say, seek it out. Hopefully Equestria gets back to them soon.

golden puddles

Ok, I've got to stop you here. There's no way an athlete like RD would stay dehydrated enough for her urine to be yellow, much less immediately stinky. So unless it's the admittedly plausible explanation the piss comes from the piss dimension, just like the cum comes from the spunk one, those puddles shouldn't be golden.

Still hilarious though, and I'm sad Sunset didn't take the offer on for old times sake. If there's anyone who could miss horse cock in there it's her, current elasticity non withstanding.

You better check and see what species' semen that thing is spurting before doing the sex-thing. Human, earth horse, or pony. Seeing a 15-to-18 year old girl's life ruined or possibly ended by an unplanned pregnancy is just about the least sexy thing I can think of.

Why not just called the Shadowbolts while your at it?

"I don't know where your horse dick's blood supply is coming from, but it seems to be functioning independently of your own body. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be enough blood flow to your brain for you to, y'know, live."

Yikes.

Rainbow's irises shrank to pinpricks, her cheeks flushing brilliantly. "Gahuh?"

Your eloquence is unmatched.

"FOR SCIENCE!" Twilight cried desperately. "Besides, magic is crazy weird! Maybe if she uses the thing for what it's made for, it'll go away on its own!"

For science she says.

"I mean, I don't mind doing manual stimulation of it myself, but I'd rather not tear every muscle in my lower torso to shreds trying to ride that."

It would be nice.

I’m glad it’s addressed here, because no one ever considers blood pressure, do they?

Also: “For Science!”

Windy whimpered at all the piss dripping off literally everything, collecting in stinky golden puddles on the floor, lavatory, and in the bathtub.

Again, love how blunt you are, xD

"It's observational science!" Twilight cried defensively. "If we want to understand the great mystery, we must study all its aspects! We must embrace a larger view!" She adjusted her glasses, which gleamed in the reflected sunlight from the window. "Only through science will we be able to save your daughter from her magic monster horse cock."

observational science,

sure let’s go with that....

"Yeah, hard pass on that," Sunset said, wincing.

Hehe, HARD pass on that, xD

I’m sorry, I’m supposed to be 24 years old, and I’m clearly not that old in my head, xD

"It's definitely magical," Twilight pronounced. "If it wasn't, Rainbow Dash would've died hours ago."

......... well there’s a goddam reason to go blue, i’m sorry, xD

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They do say the dick is operating almost independently from her body. I wonder if it has its own cardiovascular system and everything...

Pinkie Pie was the only girl present who didn't seem to care if she got splattered, dick-slapped (which had already happened to Twilight twice),

Oke, how tf is that Twilight hasn’t been K.Oed long ago getting hit by a thicker-then-a-leg cock to le face TWICE?!

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Makes you wonder who's duck it really is