The Inane Adventures of Hazelnut Latte

by Porcelain Mug

Chapter 9: Thunderbolt and Lightning, Very, Very Frightening

It had been a week since Twilight and Sugar Shock's, well, let's just call it a mishap. Twilight found her magic a bit less powerful than usual and Sugar Shock found her magic a bit stronger than usual. It seemed to have split between them. The lavender alicorn let out a frustrated sigh as she went through yet another book that provided absolutely no help. Switcharoo Punch was a very new invention, so it wasn't listed in any of her books. Because of this, there was no information on any spells that could reverse it. In the meantime, she'd had to help Sugar Shock run Sugar Rush. Now she had a feeling that the curly-maned unicorn might have been slightly insane. She had to be, considering some of the things she had created and was selling. One example was a variety of exploding candies that literally exploded- with flavor. There were also liquor-infused chocolates, spicy chocolates, salted pistachio brittle, alcohol-free tequila and habanero hard candies, gumballs with strange flavors like buttered popcorn, popping candy, sodas with strange flavors like pumpkin pie, strawberry jellies that looked like steaks, habanero jam, salted black licorice buttons, every concievable flavor of jelly beans, and much, much more. It was also a selling poing that all of the items being sold at Sugar Rush were 'lightning-proof'. What did that even mean?

So far, out of all of Twilight's close friends, only Fluttershy knew. The butter-colored pegasus was surprisingly good at keeping this kind of secret. Fluttershy had even started helping Twilight by locating books for her. The alicorn looked at the pegasus and smiled. "You've been a huge help, Fluttershy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Fluttershy hid her face behind her bangs and softly said, "It's not a big deal. It's what friends are for, right? Besides, I'm not that much help."

"This is going faster with your help, Fluttershy." Twilight said. "Spike wants to be helpful, but I think he's afraid of Sugar Shock ever since he tried some of those salty black licorice buttons. He thinks that only an evil, homicidally insane pony would make and sell something like that."

"That sounds horrible." Fluttershy said sympathetically. "I don't think that Sugar Shock is scary and I'm, well, me."

Spike quietly approached the two mares and asked, "Is she gone?"

"She's not here right now, Spike." Twilight said reassuringly. "If she was, I promise that I would never let her hurt you."

Spike smiled and said, "Thanks, Twilight."

It was then that Sugar Shock walked into the room. Spike's eyes widened more than anypony ever imagined was possible. He gulped audibly. The confectioner smiled at the dragon and said, "Hey, Spike. Feeling better?"

Spike, who had started to hyperventilate, suddenly shouted, "Please don't murder me and wear my skin as a mask!"

Sugar Shock seemed quite puzzled. "Wait, don't do what?"

Rather than responding, Spike ran away as quickly as his little legs could take him. Sugar Shock raised a brow and said, "That dragon has been reading too many M-rated horror comics. Twilight, you have to find the kid something more age-appropriate."

"He does have an over-active imagination." Twilight admitted. "I can't always control what he reads. I try, but somehow he manages to get his claws on them anyway."

"I won't touch those comics." Fluttershy said timidly. "Those comics are scary!"

Sugar Shock spotted the energy drink that Twilight had been sipping on. The brown mare laughed nervously and asked, "Twilight, how many of those have you had?"

"I'm halfway through my second." Twilight replied. "I don't feel the slightest bit jittery. Different ponies have different tolerances for caffeine."

"Just be careful, okay?" Sugar Shock said. "Trust me, you don't want to find out what happens if you've had too much caffeine."

Suddenly, Twilight's expression brightened. She pointed at a page in a book and said, "This might be it!"

"Cast the spell, then!" Sugar Shock exclaimed. "The worst it could do is not work, right?"

"True." Twilight replied. "Very true."

The alicorn then began to cast the spell. Suddenly, with a flash, Discord appeared. "Fluttershy, I need you to-"

On instinct, Twilight turned to look at the draconequus. She intended to stop the spell, but suddenly her eyes glowed white as she felt energy spiral through her. Before anypony could react, a powerful bolt of lightning shot towards Discord, hitting him directly. The room was filled with thick smoke. Everypony coughed from the smoke in the air and the odor of burnt fur. Sugar Shock glared at Twilight and said, "I told you not to drink too much caffeine!"

"Well, you should have told me what happens when you drink too much caffeine!" Twilight argued.

In the center of the cloud of smoke, there were still flashes of lightning. When they finally settled down, Discord finally spoke up. "I hate to agree with Twilight, but she's right."

The smoke faded and everypony gasped when they saw the change in Discord's appearance. The transformed chaos spirit frowned and asked, "What is everypony staring at? Do I have a booger or something?"

Fluttershy had turned bright red and refused to meet Discord's eyes. "You're a-" Twilight stammered. "You're a-"

"Come on, out with it!" Discord said impatiently.

"You're a fucking pony!" Sugar Shock exclaimed.

The transformed Discord had a fallow brown coat and black mane and tail with a bit of grey, which, along with a few wrinkles, made him appear... well, let's just use the phrase 'exceedingly middle-aged'. His eyes were no longer mismatched, but his irises were red. One thing that had not changed was his goatee. He had a Cutie Mark, which was a tilted bucket that was in the process of spilling. He was tall, almost as tall as Big Mac, but he wasn't as heavily built. He was tall and somewhat lanky and he had an appropriately sized pair of wings. Discord frowned and said, "You're joking, right? Normally the foalish, occasionally idiotic and sometimes a little mean jokes are my thing."

Discord lifted one wing, then the other, examining them. He then tried to change back, but nothing happened. His voice was surprisingly calm and even when he said, "Twilight. Dear Twilight Sparkle," He then raised his voice and shouted, "what in the name of chaos did you do to me?!"

"It looks like I've accidentally turned you into an ordinary pegaus." Twilight said, her voice filled with awe. "This is fascinating! Nothing like this has ever happened before!"

Discord huffed and said, "I'm glad you think so. Now change me back!"

"Give me a moment." Twilight replied.

The alicorn then looked down to see that a bit of stray lightning had scorched the book, leaving it completely unreadable. She looked back up at Discord and said, "I can't right now."

Discord groaned audibly. Twilight hastily added, "I'll come up with something to reverse your transformation, but it'll take me a while. I've never reversed a change as major as somepony completely changing their species. Until then, you'll have to get used to being a pony."

Discord groaned once more in frustration. He glanced over at Fluttershy and said, "As soon as this is over, I am going to unleash a wave of chaos that Equestria has never seen before. By that, I mean that I will fill Twilight's entire castle with poison joke. Just warning you so you won't come in when that does happen."

Fluttershy was blushing intensely and refused to meet Discord's eye. Despite his thin, lanky build, he made a fairly attractive stallion. The newly-changed stallion examined his wings once more and said, "Well, at least the wings are proportionate to my size and build."

"They look like good, strong wings." Fluttershy mumbled from behind her mane.

Discord grinned and said, "They do, don't they?"

The fallow stallion looked down at the mirror and said, "For a pony, I'm not that bad looking."

Though he had been transformed into a pony with no way of changing back unless Twilight found a spell that could do it, Discord was very grateful that he had at least transformed into a moderately attractive stallion. Though he tried not to pay it any heed, he had heard the comments that ponies made about his actual appearance and sometimes they affected him a bit. He wasn't a terribly attractive creature and he knew it. At least he wasn't a bad-looking pony. Suddenly, his stomach growled loudly. Twilight looked at him thoughtfully before turning to Fluttershy and asking, "Fluttershy, do you think you could take Discord out to eat?"

Fluttershy nodded and said, "Okay."

"I'll monitor Twilight's caffeine intake so she doesn't accidentally turn somepony else into a different species." Sugar Shock promised.

Discord grumbled under his breath as he followed Fluttershy out of the castle. It was going to be a long, long wait.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Discord walked at Fluttershy's side while making their way through Ponyville, he couldn't help but notice that he was not getting any strange looks. It was different, to say the least. He definitely had some traits from his true form, but there were a few things that weren't there. Why did he have to have the grey? Sure, he was ancient, but it didn't really show in his true form. He knew that he was old, but he rarely felt old. Now he looked like he could have been a pony in his early fifties. Well, he thought, on the bright side, nopony would harass her for hanging out with the draconequus and wouldn't make assumptions about their relationship. Unfortunately, instead of his species being a deterrent for Fluttershy's affections, his apparent age was. Wait, why was having a deterrent unfortunate? Unfortunately, his thoughts were interrupted when a certain thorn in his side appeared. "Hey, Fluttershy." Pretty Boy said with a smile.

"Oh." Fluttershy said. "Hello, Pretty Boy. I really don't want-"

"Before you dismiss me," Pretty Boy said with an earnest look on his face, "I'd like to say that I'm really, really sorry for the way I acted at the concert. Sometimes a stallion can make a fool of himself around a pretty mare."

"You weren't very nice." Fluttershy said with a frown.

"I won't deny that." Pretty Boy smiled at Fluttershy and asked, "Could you possibly forgive me?"

Fluttershy seemed to think about it for a while before she replied, "Okay, I forgive you. Just don't do it again, okay? I need you to be nice to my friends and respect my boundaries."

"I can do that." Pretty Boy nodded. "Maybe we can be friends now?"

Fluttershy nodded and said, "If you really mean what you said about being sorry, I could give you a chance."

Pretty Boy grinned broadly and said, "Thank you, Fluttershy. You won't regret it."

It was then that Pretty Boy seemed to notice Discord. "Oh, hey." He said with a smile. He turned to Fluttershy and said, "I didn't realize that your dad was visiting."

Discord couldn't help but flinch. Yes, he knew that he looked like he was old enough to be Fluttershy's father, but Pretty Boy really didn't need to point that out. Fluttershy flushed and said, "He's not my dad. He's an old friend. His name is..." She looked at Discord.

Discord smirked and said, "Roguish Jape is the name. Fluttershy and I go way back. The college she went to is my old alma mater."

Pretty Boy nodded. "She told me about it. She said that her dad went to the same college. If you're old college friends with Fluttershy's dad, that would explain why you two go back quite a ways."

Discord wished that he still had his chaos magic so he could summon a pink cloud and rain chocolate milk down on Pretty Boy. Instead, the greying stallion gave a false smile and said, "Yes, that's exactly it. I went to college with her father."

"Well, in any case, it's nice to meet you, Roguish Jape." Pretty Boy said with a smile. "If I'm to be friends with Fluttershy, I hope that we both get along very well."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Things had become slightly awkward for Fluttershy. She had spent enough time around Discord to read his moods fairly well and she could tell that the transformed draconequus was very uncomfortable about Pretty Boy bringing up how old he looked. Discord looked old enough to be her father, but he looked very good for a stallion who appeared to be in his fifties. In fact, Fluttershy thought as she tried to hide her blushing, she might even describe him as what Rarity would call a 'silver fox'. She didn't think that he was bad-looking in his true form, but this pony form was very easy on the eyes. The butter-colored mare looked at the two stallions and said, "I think everypony will get along as long as we're all nice to each other."

Pretty Boy nodded and said, "I've learned my lesson."

"I certainly hope you have." Discord said. "Fluttershy told me about the concert."

"It won't happen again, I promise." Pretty Boy said.

He sounded earnest, Fluttershy thought. "All right." she said softly. "Thank you for apologizing."

Discord seemed to be impatient. In a condescending voice, he said, "Well, that's all and lovely, but Fluttershy and I are going to go to lunch together."

"Right." Pretty Boy said, frowning at Discord. "I hope you two have a lovely lunch."

Discord smirked and said, "Oh, we will."

Pretty Boy gave Discord an odd look before turning to Fluttershy and saying, "Well, I hope that you two have a good lunch- you and Roguish Jape."

The earth pony stallion then turned and walked away. Fluttershy turned to Discord and asked, "What about that new cafe, the one with the cucumber sandwiches?"

Discord nodded and said, "I'll try. I don't like cucumbers in my normal body, but my tastes could have changed in this body."

"Well, they have chocolate milk." Fluttershy said with a smile.

Discord erupted into a grin and said, "Well, why didn't you say so? There's no time to waste!"

As they continued heading down the street, Fluttershy smiled again and said, "You seem eager."

Discord shrugged and replied, "What can I say? You had me at chocolate milk."

Fluttershy smiled again. The interaction with Pretty Boy seemed to have gone better than expected. Now she was taking Discord to a nice café. There would probably be chocolate milk and a salad involved. If she had any say in the way events would play out, she would try to make sure that Discord's first day as a pony went as well as it possibly could.

Author's Note:

A scene from the next chapter:

Hazelnut Latte stared at Twilight Sparkle and Sugar Shock. The barista's wide-eyed gaze lingered and was starting to make everypony uncomfortable. Finally, Hazelnut Latte spoke up. "Just what the fuck are you two doing?!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Sugar Shock said defensively. "It's not what you think!"

"I'm not gay!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Are you sure?" Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. "It certainly looked like what I think it looked like."

"I was running and I fell on her!" Sugar Shock tried to persuade her sister.

"The floor was wet!" Twilight added.

"The floor was wet and you 'fell' on Twilight and you happened to land with your mouth on hers?" Hazelnut Latte seemed amused at this.

"It wasn't on purpose!" Sugar Shock argued. "The floor was really, really wet!"

Spike walked into the room. As he was walking, he spotted Hazelnut Latte and waved at her. "Hey, Hazel!"

Suddenly, Spike slipped and landed on his face. "Ow!" He groaned. "Stupid wet floor!"

Hazelnut Latte turned to look at the two mares. "Okay, so the floor was wet. Consider yourself two lucky ponies that I don't have a camera with me."

A cheerful, high-pitched voice suddenly said, "I do!"

Everypony turned to see Pinkie Pie aiming a camera at them. There was a bright flash and Sugar Shock, Hazelnut Latte, and Twilight were momentarily blinded. Oddly enough, a picture printed out from the camera. Pinkie Pie looked at the picture and sniffled. "Our Twilight, sharing her first kiss with the love of her life! She's finally growing up!"

Twilight shoved Sugar Shock off of her and shouted, "For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!"

Comments

[Ausbrony]

Another good chapter. Though thanks to that exerpt, I am eagerly awaiting the next one.

Let the gay flow through you Twilight.

Also, how long until she remembers that Starlight can swap Cutie Marks?

[Porcelain Mug]

9314492
You'll find out in a few chapters.