The Inane Adventures of Hazelnut Latte

by Porcelain Mug

Chapter 8: Pinkie and the Brain

It's a twofer this time!
ooooooooooooooooo

Rarity and Hazelnut latte quickly trotted down the path to Countess High Born's mansion in Canterlot. The white unicorn had finished the dress in time to take the train to Canterlot and she was at the Countess' front door, with still a few hours to spare. Rarity looked at Hazelnut Latte and said, "Thank you for coming here to lend your support. I absolutely know that Countess High Born will love the outfit, but there's always a teeny, tiny chance that I might be wrong. Countess High Born is known for being very critical of even the smallest error- not that she will find one!"

"I trust your work, Rares." Hazelnut Latte said with a reassuring smile. "I went to the Lacey Ruffles' School for Fillies and Countess High Born was a big patron of the school. I've heard of her. I've even met her!"

"You went to the Lacey Ruffles School for Fillies?" Rarity gasped. "That's only one of the best schools in Equestria for polishing wild, high-strung fillies into sophisticated young ladies! That's not even to mention the ordinary curriculum and how it's still one of the most academically successful private schools in Equestria!"

Hazelnut Latte blushed vividly and said, "It wasn't bad, I guess. I didn't graduate, from there, though. Don't worry, I didn't drop out. I was transferred to a public school for social reasons."

"What sort of social reasons would cause a filly to transfer out of the Lacey Ruffles School for Fillies?" Rarity asked, her eyes still wide with surprise.

"Well, in a public school, somepony is less likely to get picked on for having a Cutie Mark that isn't as 'sophisticated' as some of the other fillies' Cutie Marks at Lacey Ruffles." Hazelnut Latte scoffed. "Apparently, no matter how elaborate the designs I can make are, having a Cutie Mark in latte art isn't 'sophisticated' enough to be socially accepted there."

"Why, that's utterly ridiculous!" Rarity said with a frown.

"I know!" Hazelnut Latte replied. "One of the fillies got a Cutie Mark in flower arrangement. Another got a Cutie Mark in hosting fancy parties. There was also a filly whose special talent was writing sonnets. All are perfectly valid talents, but," Hazelnut Latte rolled her eyes at this. "there was a filly who got her Cutie Mark in, get this, sitting around and looking pretty."

Rarity's eyes widened. "You can get your Cutie Mark just for sitting around and looking pretty?"

"Yeah!" Hazelnut Latte replied. "Chaise Lounge was particularly snooty. The only friend I had there was Sous-Sus and she was a few years above me. She graduated when I was fifteen and she was eighteen. Sous-Sus' special talent was ballet. She lives in Manehattan, but we do write each other letters and occasionally visit on each other's birthdays. Sous-Sus invited me to visit her for my birthday when I turned 27."

Rarity let out a gasp and asked, "Is she part of the Manehattan Ballet?"

"Yep." Hazelnut Latte said with a smile. "Well, there was also Lilium, but she was too afraid of Chaise Lounge to hang out with me in public. She's the one who did flower arrangement."

The two went up the steps and walked across the front porch until they reached the door. Rarity took a deep, deep breath before knocking. A brown stallion with a salt and pepper mane and moustache answered the door. He was wearing a black suit and waistcoat with a white button-down shirt and a bowtie. In a crisp voice, the stallion asked, "May I help you?"

"I'm Rarity." Rarity introduced herself. "I'm here with the Countess' dress."

"Come in." the butler said.

The butler directed them inside to a place where they would wait. "If you'll excuse me," the butler said, "I'll request Countess High Born's presence."

"Don't take too long." Hazelnut Latte called out. "Can't keep the Countess waiting."

It was impossible to tell whether Hazelnut Latte was being sarcastic from the way she had spoken. Rarity shot her a quick glare and said, "Shush, you!"

After about a minute or so, a resplendently dressed sapphire unicorn mare with a butter-colored mane walked down the grand staircase to meet the other two mares. The butler gestured towards the new mare and said, "The Countess Highborn."

The Countess turned to the butler and said, "Thank you, Jeeves. That will be all."

"As you wish, milady." Jeeves replied before dismissing himself.

The Countess headed over to Rarity with an eager smile on her face and said, "I presume that you are here with my dress?"

"Of course!" Rarity replied happily.

Rarity used her magic to remove the dress and bolero jacket from her saddlebags. Thanks to magic, it was not the least bit wrinkled or out of sorts. The Countess walked over and inspected the outfit, looking at it from every angle. Rarity waited nervously until, finally, the Countess stepped back and said, "Your work is more than satisfactory, Rarity."

Rarity held back a sigh of relief. Instead, she said, "Thank you for your kind words, Countess."

The Countess then seemed to spot Hazelnut Latte. She looked at the brown mare with scrutiny, as if attempting to figure out where she had seen her before. Finally, it seemed to hit the Countess. "Ah!" the sapphire mare exclaimed. "I remember you! You went to school with my Lilium! Hazel something?"

"Hazelnut Latte, ma'am." Hazelnut Latte replied.

"Ah." the Countess said. She looked at Rarity, then at Hazelnut Latte. The noblemare smiled once more and said, "Well, I must say that I am more than satisfied with your work. As a symbol of my gratitude, I will extend an invitation to my Autumn Equinox Ball next month." She looked at Hazelnut Latte and added, "I'd like to invite you as well. I'm sure that my darling daughter would love to catch up with you."

"My sincerest thanks, Countess!" Hazelnut Latte grinned at the older mare.

"Oh, think nothing of it." the Countess waved her hoof as if to dismiss the barista's worries. She then smiled and said, "And please, call me High Born. If you're Lilium's Hazel, then you're practically family!"

"Thanks, Coun-" Hazelnut Latte corrected herself. "Thanks, High Born."

"You are most welcome." High Born said happily. She then turned to Rarity and said, "Well, Miss Rarity, I leave things in your capable hooves. I wish you both the best.

High Born sighed and said, "I hate to be a rude hostess, but I'm expecting other guests later and they are," She paused for a moment. "rather difficult, as you know. Chaise Lounge may be of fine blood, but a good bloodline doesn't necessarily make you a lady. I have no issue with your presence, but I recall Lilium telling me about your interactions with Chaise Lounge. I don't know if I'd be able to stop her from being, well, Chaise Lounge. That's why I'm asking you to go, so you don't have to endure that."

Hazelnut Latte smiled brightly and said, "Thank you, High Born. Lilium always said that you were really nice."

"Of course I'm nice." High Born chortled. "Where do you think that my darling Lilium gets it from?"

Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, anyway, Rarity and I will make ourselves scarce. I'd love to go to your Autumn Equinox Ball."

"Wonderful." High Born said happily. "Well, I wish you two young ladies the best day. I'll see you both at the Autumn Equinox Ball!"

After Rarity and Hazelnut Latte left, the door was closed behind them. It was only then that Hazelnut Latte turned to her friend, her eyes wide with panic. "Rarity, I have a problem."

"What is it, Hazelnut Latte?" Rarity asked, concern etched on her face.

Hazelnut Latte gulped audibly and said, "I don't have a formal gown."

Rarity smiled at her friend and said, "Well, Hazelnut Latte, you can just leave that to me!"

"Rarity, you don't have to do anything." Hazelnut Latte said awkwardly. "I mean, I can try to see if I can find another dress to wear."

"Nonsense!" Rarity exclaimed. "I'll make you a dress so lovely that you'll be the envy of everypony there!"

"All right." Hazelnut Latte said with a smile.

It was then that Pinkie Pie suddenly jumped out of a bush, causing Rarity and Hazelnut Latte to jump in surprise. "Hello!" the earth pony chirped.

"Pinkie Pie, you scared me half to death!" Rarity exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"Well, an hour ago, I was helping Countess High Born plan for her ball!" Pinkie Pie replied. "Then she told me that she was done with me for the day 'cause she had guests coming soon and that one of them wouldn't care about my trip to Zebrica earlier this summer and would say that I have no brain. I mean, It could be true. Let me tell you the story!"

"I heard the drums echoing that night,
but I only hears whispers of quiet conversation.
I came in at the 12:30 flight.
The moonlit balloon reflected the stars that guide me towards salvation.
I stopped by an old stallion along the way,
Hoping to find some lost words or ancient melodies.
He turned to me as if to say,
"Hurry, girl, it's waiting for you!"

Hazelnut Latte turned to Rarity, who just smiled. This was not a new thing to her. Pinkie Pie continued to sing.

"It took a lot to drag me away from there.
Even a hundred stallions couldn't ever move this mare.
I left my brain down in Zebrica!
I got some time to do the things I never had!

The wild dogs cried at night,
As they grew restless longing for some delicious cake.
I knew that I had to do what's right,
As sure as Celestia, every morning, knows the path the sun should take.
I ought to find the fun that's deep inside,
Unfrightended of what I have become.

It took a lot to drag me away from there.
Even a hundred stallions couldn't ever move this mare.
I left my brain down in Zebrica!
I got some time to do the things I never had! Oh-uh!

"Hurry, girl, it's waiting there for you!"

It took a lot to drag me away from there.
Even a hundred stallions couldn't ever move this mare.
I left my brain down in Zebrica! I left my brain!
I left my brain down in Zebrica! I left my brain!
I left my brain down in Zebrica!
I left my brain down in Zebrica! I took some time!
I got some time to do the things I never had! Oh-uh!"

Hazelnut Latte stared at the pink earth pony for a few seconds before saying, "Anyway, I trust you when you say that you'll make a good dress. I doubt that I'll draw that much attention, though. Even in a beautiful dress, I'm not much to look at."

"Nonsense!" Rarity exclaimed. "You have lovely natural features. We just need to enhance them a little! We should start with not straightening those curls."

"I'll look like a bush!" Hazelnut Latte protested.

"Calm down, Hazelnut Latte." Rarity said reassuringly. "We'll just need to tame those curles, that's all. I have a few things that'll make those curls a bit looser and easier to manage."

Hazelnut Latte was silent for a moment before nodding. "All right. I'll leave it in your hooves." She chuckled and said, "Well, at least my sister won't be going. She can't be trusted around anything or anyone fancy, even if they're just a certain brainiac princess. I hope that things won't go wrong when they eventually do meet."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Twilight Sparkle entered Sugar Rush and the scent of various sweets filled her nose. She looked around and saw an assortment of edible goods in a wide variety of shapes, colors, and sizes. She then saw the pony she assumed to be the owner. She was a unicorn mare with a caramel colored coat, blue eyes, and an extremely curly chocolate-colored mane. The mare's Cutie Mark was a wrapped piece of candy with a lightning bolt on the wrapper. "So this is the infamous Sugar Shock." Twilight Sparkle said with a smile.

"Yep." Sugar Shock replied. "Nice to meet you." The candy shop owner leaned back against the counter and took a sip of her Switcharoo Punch. "Since you're a celebrity and all, you can have one piece of candy for free."

Twilight looked around to see all the things for sale. "Chocolate Bon Boms?" She saw some rather luscious-looking chocolates on a display.

"Yeah." Sugar Shock said before explaining. "They're 82% cacao with salted caramel and infused with-"

Twilight Sparkle used her magic to take one of the Bon Bombs and pop it into her mouth. She chewed once before her eyes went wide as she started gasping from the spice. Sugar Shock sighed and finished. "- sweet and spicy habanero jam."

Twilight looked for something, anything to quench the fire in her mouth. She spotted an open bottle of soda on the counter. It was labeled 'Switcharoo Punch'. The alicorn grabbed it and was bringing it up to her lips when Sugar Shock shouted, "Wait, don't drink that!"

Twilight did not heed the confectioner's words and still chugged down the soda. Suddenly, both ponies felt a tingling throughout their bodies, which centered on their flanks. Twilight looked at her own Cutie Mark, and then at Sugar Shock's. The princess, though she was rarely one to swear, couldn't help but say, "Oh shit."

Twilight saw that the starbursts of her Cutie Mark had been replaced with lightning bolts and that the lightning bolt on Sugar Shock's piece of candy was replaced with one of her starbursts. The confectioner groaned and said, "I told you not to drink that!"

"What the hey just happened?!" Twilight gasped.

"When two different ponies drink Switcharoo Punch, it causes their Cutie Marks and a few of their abilities to switch." Sugar Shock explained. "So yeah, we're mixed up."

"Is there some sort of antidote?" Twilight asked.

"There is." Sugar Shock replies. "It just happens that I forgot to order some and I won't be able to get any for another sixty days."

"Great." Twilight groaned. "Just great."

"Well, you're a magical genius, aren't you?" Sugar Shock asked. "Can't you just come up with a spell?"

"It'll take some time, but I can do it." Twilight admitted.

"All right, then." Sugar Shock said decidedly. "By the way, while we're like this, you probably shouldn't drink an excess of caffeine. There's a reason why they call me Sugar Shock."

"What'll happen if I drink too much caffeine?" Twilight asked.

Sugar Shock sighed and replied, "I pray that you'll never find out."

Author's Note:

A scene from the next chapter:

Everypony coughed from the smoke in the air and the odor of burnt fur. Sugar Shock glared at Twilight and said, "I told you not to drink too much caffeine!"

"Well, you should have told me what happens when you drink too much caffeine!" Twilight argued.

In the center of the cloud of smoke, there were still flashes of lightning. When they finally settled down, Discord finally spoke up. "I hate to agree with Twilight, but she's right."

The smoke faded and everypony gasped when they saw the change in Discord's appearance. The transformed chaos spirit frowned and asked, "What is everypony staring at? Do I have a booger or something?"

Comments

[kurusagi16]

Another good chapter as always. And also, what happened to Discord in the next chapter? Curious to see what he transformed into.