The Inane Adventures of Hazelnut Latte

by Porcelain Mug

Chapter 18: In Which Twilight Sparkle Absolutely, Positively Doesn't Read Teh Pr0ns

It was another morning in Ponyville and, just as she did every morning, Twiligh Sparkle stepped into Cuppa Joe's. She had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. Yes, she was working on another secret project. She was curious about... things, since reading Horny for Her: A Unicorn's Guide to Lesbian Sexuality. Purely because she was curious about the book, of course. She wasn't curious about doing... things with other mares. None of her friends were into that sort of thing. Why would she be? She was an ordinary mare who was attracted to stallions. She knew that for sure. She couldn't be attracted to mares. Her first sexual experience with another pony had been with another mare, but that didn't count because, well, it was with another mare. It didn't count... did it? She shook her head. No. It didn't count. When she looked across the counter, she saw Hazelnut Latte standing there in her uniform. Aside from her mane being straightened and having different glasses, she was pretty much the mirror image of her twin sister. Of course, that made sense because Sugar Shock and Hazelnut Latte were identical twins. The caramel-coated unicorn in front of Twilight smiled and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you today?"

Twilight smiled weakly and asked, "Is there anything new?"

"Well, until the end of next moth, we have a duce de leche macchiato." Hazelnut Latte replied.

"I'll try that." Twilight said. She then indicated a chocolate croissant in the pastry case. "I'd also like one of those."

"One dulce de leche macchiato and one chocolate croissant." Hazelnut Latte said. "Coming right up!"

Twilight stepped aside as a few more caffeine-hungry early risers trickled in. They made their orders, too. After a brief time of waiting, she heard Hazelnut Latte call out, "Twileet Sporkle!"

Twilight let out a groan, though she was somewhat used to this. "Twilight Sparkle." she muttered under her breath. "It's Twilight Sparkle!"

Nonetheless, she walked over to the counter, claimed her drink, and paid nine bits for the coffee and the pastry. She then headed over to a table and claimed it, setting her rear end down on a comfortable seat. She took a sip of her macchiato, allowing the sweetness of the dulce de leche and the earthiness of the coffee flow over her tongue and down her throat. She then took a bite of her chocolate croissant. The chocolate that filled the pastry was rich and wonderful and the croissant part was nice and flaky. No wonder she came here every morning. Twilight looked across the room at Hazelnut Latte. She and Sugar Shock definitely had the same 'customer service smile'. The lavender alicorn had seen Sugar Shock with that smile while she shadowed her at work during the Switcharoo Punch Incident. After it was over, all she was left with was her memories. Well, memories and an inexplicable fondness for licorice. One of the things she could remember about the night she and Sugar Shock did 'the deed' was that the curly-maned unicorn's kisses tasted like licorice. That was weird because Twilight used to hate the stuff. It was a kiss from another mare, so it couldn't possibly have affected that way and made her like the black sweet. After a few minutes, Twilight finished her drink and pastry and disposed of her cup in the recycling bin.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Twilight headed out to the front steps of her castle to check her mail. She retrieved a few letters from her mailbox and sorted through them, tossing away the junk mail. It was then that she noticed a box. She looked at it and saw that it was from one of her old schoolmates, Venus Whisper. She took her mail inside before heading up to her room and carefully opening the box. Inside were a few books, along with a note.

Twilight,

It's me, your old friend, Venus Whisper. I've been hearing things. Mainly that you're in your mid-twenties and still single. We both agreed that if one or both of us were still single at twenty-four, we'd do some favors for each other to make single marehood a bit more bearable. Speaking of that, thanks for the you-know-what. I got it in the mail and I couldn't leave my bed for three days!

Twilight blushed vividly, remembering how she had to go into that shop to buy a you-know-what for Venus, a you-know-what for herself, and several bottles of water-based lubricant. She did a pretty good imitation of a tomato in that shop and sounded quite a bit like Fluttershy. Twilight dismissed the thought before returning to the letter.

Anyway, it's high time that I return the favor. Inside is some reading material that I think you might enjoy. We both know that you're a raging bibliophile, Twilight. It had to be books. In this box is all five 'Wings of Love' novels by Fanny Delight. I think you'll like the main character, Minx.You won't be able to put these books down, I can guarantee that! Have fun!

Your friend, Venus Whisper

Twilight set the letter down and picked up one of the books. On the cover was a picture of an earth pony mare wearing a half-unbuttoned shirt embracing a pegasus mare in a satin nightgown. The title of the book was A Gentlemare's Heart. Figuring that she had nothing to lose, Twilight sat down on a cushion and began to read.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Venus had been right, Twilight decided. She definitely couldn't put A Gentlemare's Heart down. She had expected it to be a book about two mares exploring their friendship, but it turned out to be anything but that! She really didn't expect this sort of scene! Currently, Twilight's eyes were locked onto the page as she read with rapt attention.

Willow's lips parted from Minx's. The earth pony then smiled and caressed the pegasus' cheek. The two mares' eyes were locked as the unspoken passion passed between them. Minx looked away before whispering, "We shouldn't be doing this, Willow."

"This is natural, Minx." the earth pony told the pegasus.

"But we're both mares!" Minx protested.

"We are both mares," Willow agreed, "but you can't tell me that this, this thing between us, isn't real."

Minx looked away, unable to meet Willow's eyes. The earth pony gently turned the pegasus' face to look at her. "Do you think that this thing, how we feel, isn't real?"

Minx inhaled softly, before exhaling. She thought about how Willow made her feel, about the thoughts that she put in her head that she had been told were sinful but somehow felt so very right. Most of all, she thought about how the gentlemare made her feel whenever she held her. She looked up and met Willow's eyes. "No." Minx said softly. "It's real. I can't deny the way I feel about you any longer, Willow. Please, hold me!"

Willow gently ran her hooves down Minx's back, caressing her feathers before landing on her hips. She pulled the pegasus to her she was straddling her lap. The pegasus reached up and pulled the larger earth pony's face down, pressing her lips to hers. Minx felt Willow's tongue touching her lips and shyly, she parted them. Their tongues danced together in a show of passion that the pegasus was not accustomed to, from another mare. Their hooves caressed eachother as they passionately kissed for what felt like an eternity. Finally, they parted, panting with ardor. Slowly, Minx reached down and began to unbutton her nightgown.

Twilight fanned her face with a hoof. Spirits, she felt so warm. She felt tingly all over, in a way that she hadn't felt since her experience with Sugar Shock. She wasn't turned on, though. She absolutely wasn't turned on. It was just an interesting scene. A scene with two mares that might be about to make love.

Willow met her eyes and asked, "Minx, are you sure?"

Minx nodded and said, "More sure than I've ever been of anything, Willow."

Willow smiled before gently guiding Minx down on her back in the soft bed. Taking the hem of the nightgown, the earth pony slowly began to raise it, intent on surveying the bounty she was about to partake in. "Touch me, Willow." Minx said softly.

With a look of adoration in her eyes, Willow said, "Anything for you, my Minx."

The Earth Pony then-

"TWILIGHT!"

Twilight slammed her book shut with a shout of, "I wasn't reading lesbian porn!"

Spike stared at her for a moment before saying. "Ookay..."

Twilight cleared her throat and asked, "Is there anything that you need, Spike?"

"Can I have three bits?" the young dragon asked. "I'd like to get a new comic book."

Twilight reached into her purse and tossed three bits at the dragon, who easily caught it. Spike looked at the coins. Then, an evil smile curled onto his face. "If you give me enough to buy three more comics, I won't tell Princess Celestia that you were reading about two mares about to," His smirk faltered. He cleared his throat before saying, "ahem, do adult stuff."

Twilight groaned and gave him a few more bits. Why, oh why, had her brother given him 'the talk' last year? "Thanks, Twilight!" Spike chirped before trotting out of the room.

Twilight listened silently until she was sure that Spike was gone. She then opened her book and began to read once more. Her eyes widened when she read what Willow was doing to Minx and how detailed the scene was. The alicorn felt warm all over. But she wasn't turned on. Nope. She was just reading a story. "I'm not gay!" she whisper-yelled.

Author's Note:

Because I'm a horrible, horrible creature.

A scene from the next chapter:

Rarity stared up at the night sky, taking in the sight of the stars. She glanced to the side to see that Hazelnut Latte was also looking up. "Say, Rarity?" the caramel-coated unicorn said.

"What is it, Hazelnut Latte?" Rarity asked, looking back up at the sky.

"You ever wonder what is up there?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"No, not really." Rarity replied.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's something up there, wondering if we are down here." Hazelnut Latte said softly.

"I've never really thought about that." Rarity said.

Hazelnut Latte seemed to notice something. "Wait, did that star just move?"

Suddenly, a bright light hit them. They looked up to see a disc-shaped object with a circle of lights under it. They got up and tried to flee, but they were stopped where they are. Slowly, Hazelnut Latte's hooves began to lift from the ground. "Help me, Rarity!" she cried as she began to be pulled upwards towards the flying disc.

Suddenly, the barista was yanked into an opening by the light. The opening closed and the disc shot off into the night sky while Rarity watched in horror. "HAZEL!" the white unicorn screamed into the night.