The Inane Adventures of Hazelnut Latte

by Porcelain Mug

Chapter 4: Misunderstandings

This chapter contains some drug use. If that bothers you, I regret nothing.

Rainbow Dash picked up her beer and took a sip of it before setting it back down. on the table. She picked up her cards and gave them a good, long look. She looked up from her cards to see the stallion on the right side of the table looking quite nervous. A bead of sweat trickled down his temple. He looked down at his cards, and then up at her. The cyan pegasus gave the purple earth pony a disarming smile. He still seemed nervous. This was, of course, a high stakes game. She had thirty bits worth of chips on the table and she tried not to push her luck, but the cards seemed to be going her way. She had a good hand- three aces and three sixes. The stallion swallowed audible before speaking. In a nervous, shaking voice, he asked, "Do you have any twos?"

Rainbow Dash smiled evilly at the stallion and said, "Go fish."

They were going clockwise, so it was Rainbow Dash's turn. She casually flicked her left ear before turning to a grey stallion with a pink mane. His Cutie Mark was a spade- the kind that went in the ground, not the kind on cards. "Steel Shovel," Rainbow Dash inquired calmly, "Do you have any sixes?"

Steel Shovel threw down a six, his last card. "Damn it!" he swore.

The purple stallion laughed and said, "It looks like you're out of the game, Steel Shovel."

Steel Shovel waved a hoof dismissively and said, "I'm done anyway. It's just as well that I leave before Rainbow Dash takes all of my money."

A forest green pegasus mare with a white mane and a Cutie Mark that looked like a jug with X's on it spoke up. She smirked and said, "I think you mean 'before Rainbow Dash takes all of my money again'."

Steel Shovel glared at the mare and said, "Shut up, Moonshine!"

Rainbow Dash smirked as well and said, "You're welcome to come back next Friday, Steel Shovel."

Rainbow Dash knew that he would be back next Friday. Friday night was cards night. The purple stallion chortled and said, "If you were as good at playing cards as you are at digging holes, you might not lose so much money."

Steel Shovel rolled his eyes and said, "Look who's talking, Linguini. You can't cook anything other than pasta dishes and you keep losing."

Linguini raised his chin and said, "And yet you are the first pony to leave the table."

Steel Shovel scowled and picked up his beer, chugging down the remnants of the beverage before chucking the empty bottle into the trash and storming off to a chair in the corner. Moonshine chuckled. "Sore loser much?"

"Sore loser indeed!" Linguini chuckled.

Moonshine looked at her hand, and then at the remaining two. She had two cards and Rainbow Dash and Linguini each had three cards. The green pegasus turned to the purple earth pony and asked, "Linguini, do you have any twos?"

Linguini swore and slammed his cards down on the table for Moonshine to take. There were two of them. Each placed their bets: winner take all. It all came down to who had what cards. Rainbow Dash looked at Moonshine and asked, "Do you have any aces?"

Moonshine gaped at the cyan pegasus. No one had ever beaten her at Go Fish before! However, Moonshine was a graceful loser. She smiled and said. "Looks like you've won this time, Rainbow Dash." She chuckled. "Don't get used to it. You won't win next time."

Rainbow Dash just grinned and said, "We'll see."

The rainbow-maned flier then looked at the other three ponies in the room and said, "Okay, everypony, it's time to pay up."

The other ponies grumbled but nonetheless gave her what they owed. With her bags heavy with bits, Rainbow Dash saluted the trio with her hoof and said, "It's been a pleasure playing with you. I'll see you next Friday."

With that said, Rainbow Dash headed out into still-dark streets in the wee hours of the morning.

ooooooooooooooooooo

It was Saturday morning, officially two days before the Trotter Swift concert, when a certan cyan pegasus dropped her winnings off at her house. Rainbow Dash would never admit it, but she kind of looked forward to the concert. On the Friday before last, she had won two tickets to the Trotter Swift concert when Steel Shovel ran out of money. The tickets were meant for him and his wife, who had not been happy. Still, Rainbow Dash had won them fair and square. She hadn't originally wanted to go, but it would be a shame to waste two perfectly good tickets. Now she just had to find somepony to go with her. She still had two days to figure it out. With that thought done, she stepped into Cuppa Joe's. Hazelnut Latte was there, smiling. When the rainbow-maned pegasus walked up to the counter, the brown unicorn looked at her and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you?"

Rainbow Dash returned the smile. "I'll have one of your signature hazelnut lattes, Hazelnut Latte."

"A hazelnut latte for the pegasus with the rainbow tresses." Hazelnut Latte replied. "I'll have your drink ready in a minute. If you want, you can sit down while you wait."

"Nah, I'll stand here." Rainbow Dash said.

"All right." Hazelnut Latte shrugged. "Suit yourself."

With that conversation finished, the brown unicorn set about making one of her signature drinks. The air was fragrant with the aromas of coffee, vanilla, and hazelnut. When the drink was prepared, it was finally time for the finishing touch. Hazelnut Latte used her coffee-based talents to carefully decorate the drink. When she finished, the latte was topped with a perfect heart, identical to the one in the foam of the latte on Hazelnut Latte's Cutie Mark. With that done, the brown unicorn presented Rainbow Dash with the drink. The cyan pegasus let out an impressed whistle. "Dang, Hazel. You never get it wrong, do you?"

"Well, making and styling coffee-based beverages is my special talent." Hazelnut Latte looked happy to have pleased another pony with her latte art talents.

"Your coffee is at least 20% cooler than the lattes at the Cuppa Joe's in Canterlot." Rainbow Dash said with one of her characteristic cocky-looking grins.

Rainbow Dash heard the bell jingle, implying that somepony else had entered. She saw that Hazelnut Latte was staring over her shoulder. The cyan pegasus turned to see that Discord and Fluttershy had walked into Cuppa Joe's. Not wanting to get in the way of Fluttershy's order, Rainbow Dash took her latte and headed over to one of the tables to watch what was going on. Fluttershy walked over to the counter. Hazelnut Latte smiled and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's? What can I get you?"

"I'll have two Anarchy Lattes, please." Fluttershy responded.

Discord looked up from wherever he had been looking and said, "Make mine just coffee, black."

Rainbow Dash's mouth fell open. Fluttershy turned to look at Discord and asked, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Discord said tersely.

"Oh, okay." Fluttershy turned back to Hazelnut Latte. "I'd like to change that order to one Anarchy Latte and one black coffee."

"One loco latte and one caffeine beverage as dark as my soul." Hazelnut Latte nodded. "Got it. Feel free to sit down while I'm preparing your drinks."

Fluttershy sat down in her favorite booth, while Discord remained standing. The butter-colored pegasus looked at the Draconequus, eyes wide, and asked, "Aren't you going to sit down, Discord?"

"I'll just be in your way." Discord said with a frown. "When you're talking to me, you'll just be distracted from planning your next date with Stup- er, Pretty Boy."

"Won't your legs get tired?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'll sit here." Discord moved to the other side of the room, where Rainbow Dash was seated. "With Rainbow Dash."

"Oh." Fluttershy his her face behind her bangs.

There was an awkward silence before Hazelnut dinged the bell, signaling that the drinks were ready. Discord and Fluttershy each took their drinks- this time, Discord paid- and headed to their respective seats. Things were extremely awkward. After several long minutes of silence, Rainbow Dash put her front hooved up on the table. "All right, Discord," she said, "spill."

"I have nothing to tell you." Discord said with a scowl.

"Bullshit." Rainbow Dash returned that scowl. "You and Fluttershy are usually connected at the hip and now you won't even look at her, while she keeps looking at you like she's worried. What happened?"

"Like I said, I have nothing to say." Discord replied.

Rainbow Dash sniffed the air and detected the tell-tale aroma of books, wine, and shame on him. What could wine and shame be doing together on somepony? Suddenly, it hit her. "Oh, Discord, you didn't..."

"Whatever you think I did, it's none of your business." Discord huffed.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. "You did! I knew it! It was so obvious! You smell like wine and shame."

Discord flushed slightly. "It was late at night and Fluttershy had just gotten back from her date with Pretty Boy and went to her bedroom." He sneered the stallion's name. "I know that you drink beer when you curl up to read a book, so I why can't I drink wine?"

"How drunk were you?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Drunk enough." Discord admitted. "With predictable results."

Rainbow Dash nodded and silently contemplated this. After a moment of this, she spoke. She leaned towards Discord and asked, "You did use protection, didn't you?"

"Wait, what?" Discord was confused.

"You said that Fluttershy was in her bedroom and you got drunk with predictable results." Rainbow Dash said, surprisingly nonplussed. "You two had wild, crazy, drunken monkey sex and now that it's the morning after, you're afraid that things have become weird between you. Discord, you don't need to worry that much. If anyone will be able to forgive you for having a drunken one-night stand with her, it would be Fluttershy." She leaned forward a little more. "Now tell me, did you use protection?"

Discord sputtered. "You think that Flutershy and I..." He scowled at Rainbow Dash. "You have a dirty mind, Rainbow Dash? Who do you take me for?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Well, Rarity and I have been making bets about when you and Fluttershy will finally deal with the rampant UST between you two. It was bound to happen eventually. Now answer the question: did you use protection?"

Discord growled and quietly hissed at the cyan pegasus, "I did not sleep with Fluttershy!"

Rainbow Dash gazed at the Draconequus, inspecting him until she realized that he was telling the truth. "So you didn't sleep with her."

"No." Discord replied. "I did not."

"Ah." Rainbow Dash said. She took a sip from her latte before asking, "Well, why are you avoiding her?"

"I'm not avoiding her." Discord huffed. "Can't I enjoy the company of somepony other than Fluttershy? I mean, she's occupied lately with Pretty Boy and she's taking him to that concert, so she clearly doesn't have time for me."

Suddenly, it hit Rainbow Dash. Discord was jealous of Fluttershy's potential love interest. She would like to say that she hadn't seen it coming, but she totally saw it coming. It seemed like she and Rarity were the only one who noticed the looks that Discord and Fluttershy gave each other when the other wasn't looking. Still, if Fluttershy went with Pretty Boy, there was a chance that the two ponies would get together. Rainbow Dash, despite her initial dislike of Discord, did not want to see that happen. The cyan pegasus had twenty bits riding on the two getting together in less than two years from the time the bet was made and she didn't want to lose that bet with Rarity. If Fluttershy and Discord were to have a chance, he would have to be at that concert with her. It was then that an idea struck Rainbow Dash. "Hey, Discord." she whispered.

"If you're done impugning my character, what is it now?" Discord asked.

"I have two tickets to the Trotter Swift concert and it just so happens that I don't have anypony to go with me. Since you want to keep an eye on Fluttershy and Pretty boy, would you like my second ticket?" Rainbow Dash quietly inquired.

Discord raised a brow. "You don't do these things for me. Why?"

"Well, let's just say that I don't think that Pretty Boy is good enough for Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash replied. "I mean, I've heard of the stallion's reputation. They don't call him Pretty Boy for nothing."

Discord's eyes narrowed. "What reputation?"

"Well, let's just say that during his travels over Equestria, he's left behind a few jilted mares." Rainbow Dash replied. "Between the two of us, we can protect Fluttershy. We'll have to let her know about Pretty Boy, but we'll have to do it carefully. Now, here's the plan..."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Hazelnut Latte got off of work, she put her uniform away in her locker before securing it and leaving. Summer break had just started and for the first time in months, it was just her in her apartment. Cocoa Jinx was off visiting Hazelnut Latte's twin sister in San Franciscolt. The little filly would spend the next month or so there. That left Hazelnut Latte with nothing to do while she was off work. Fortunately, there was an answer. For the next three days, Tree Hugger would be in Los Reingeles for a hemp convention. Somehow, Hazelnut Latte had been looped into house-sitting for the mare. There were many plants that needed watered daily and Hazelnut Latte only needed to be there overnight. Now that she was off work, she was heading down to Tree Hugger's place. When she arrived, she used the key to unlock the door and let herself in. When she got there, it looked like a tornado had gone through the place. Many things were knocked over, but only a lamp seemed to be broken. Preparing herself to use any defensive spell she knew, Hazelnut Latte headed into the house. As she headed down the halls, she heard a muffled, "WOOOOoooo..."

It sounded much like a fake ghost. Okay, there was a crazy pony in here. When she entered the living room, she saw what was happening. She saw what had caused the chaos, or rather who caused the chaos. Hazelnut Latte stared at the horrific sight in front of her. She stammered for a moment before she finally regained control of herself. She inhaled deeply before shouting, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Pinkie Pie grinned and said, "I found Tree Hugger's maaaagic brownies and I ate them!"

"And you thought that this was a good idea because...?" Hazelnut Latte ground out.

Pinkie pie smiled, her eyes reddened by the substance that she had eaten "I think she said that she cooked them in a pot. Well, something about pots." She stared up at the ceiling fan. "Ooh, a ceiling fan!"

Hazelnut Latte sighed and said, "Pinkie, I think I should tell you what was in those brownies."

The pink earth pony didn't say anything. Instead, she plopped down and laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling fan and giggling. Hazelnut Latte facehoofed. This was the last time that she let Tree Hugger convince her to house-sit while she was at a hemp convention.

Author's Note:

Sorry that this is a short chapter, but I wanted to move along with the drama.

A scene from the next chapter:

The curly-maned Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. Goodness, she didn't know how... alluring that action was! "Hazelnut Latte?"

The barista then burst into a loud, hearty laugh. Rarity was confused. The brown-coated mare used her magic to remove her saddle bags and moved so the white-coated mare could see her flank. Instead of a latte with a heart in the foam, this pony's Cutie Mark was a wrapped piece of candy with a lightning bolt on it. Wait a second...

The now-mysterious mare eased into chuckles. When she saw the expression on Rarity's face, she smiled and said, "Hey, don't worry about it. This isn't the first time somepony has gotten us mixed up and it probably won't be the last."

"Well, you're clearly not Hazelnut Latte." Rarity said with a frown. "Who are you?"

Comments

[kurusagi16]

Rainbow Dash and Discord, Fluttershy's official guardian angels.