A Blossom without the Sun
Picking out a slightly squashed danish from the box of pastries Ditzy Doo had been generous enough to give, Sunset had actually felt better than she had in a considerable while as she navigated the treacherous hallways.
“Hey, Sunset - a - Miss!”
The mood vanished almost instantaneously, Sunset dragging her steps as she turned to face whomever had called out behind her. Hoops started back with a sickly smile, the small group of students pausing to stare at the event fueling him as he closed the distance between them.
Sunset remained neutral in both stance and expression, refusing to give in to his pompous attempts at intimidation. But already knowing where he was going with this call out, she carefully set her backpack aside along with the box of baked goods along the rows of lockers before fully facing him.
“Think you can just get away with putting out my test scores, huh?” Hoops smile was near sickly as his eyebrows furrowed, all part of a display of self righteous anger. The growing audience egging him on as he spotted the amused faces among the mass. “You messed with the wrong athlete.”
“I already told all of you, I'm not Anon - a - Miss.” Sunset stressed, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Not to mention, someone else submitted that info to be posted, I had nothing to do with it. Though I doubt we'd need photo evidence of how much of a thick skull you have.”
A few sounds of exclamation came from the crowd, as Hoops smile was swiped off his face and replaced with a deepening red.
“Your dead, Shimmer.” He bellowed as he threw a heavy punch directed at her head.
Having seen this coming considering it was the only fighting style the athlete had ever shown, Sunset had no trouble side stepping out of the way and allowing Hoops stumble forward. Unable to catch himself in time and thrown off by the weight of his strike, he ended up on the floor before recovering and beginning to pull himself to his feet.
Staring down at him for a second, Sunset’s mind automatically thought to strike while he was vulnerable. It would be easy to kick him while he was down, and maybe then he would think twice instead of snapping at her in the hallways. Her boot raised itself as he was rising, poised to attack as she summoned her strength and made to move, when suddenly…
She froze, a pair of arms reached around her midsection as the owner swirled themselves around to her side and stuck the side of their body between her and Hoops. Sunset first saw pink, the kind that still nauseated her stomach when paired with a butter yellow, slightly wavy and woven into a single braid. Next was the soft grey surrounding the two blue orbs staring at her with a passionate concern.
“Please don't,” The girl spoke. “The last thing you want is to take a trip to the principal's office.”
Having recovered from his stumble, Hoops was beginning to aim for whatever part of Sunset he could manage, only to stop as the clinging student swerved in front of her. While her first thought aimed at confusion at the sudden intrusion, her second notice was at how tall the girl was as she just towered over her in front of her.
“Don't even try and pretend to play hero here.” He said, annoyed with the sudden intrusion to the brawl. “Everyone here wants to see Sunset - a - Miss get what's coming to her.”
“And then what?” The girl said, voice noticeably trembling as Sunset could see how shakey her legs had become. “Fighting at Canterlot High is in the grounds for suspension, and can even lead to being expelled if serious enough.”
“If you have a point, I suggest you make it.”
“Vice principal Luna is already making her way over here, and who is she going to believe when we tell her who started this fight? The delinquent athlete, or the quiet girl who never causes any issues? The same thing for the rest of the people here, how many students are going to try and defend you?”
The hallway grew quiet as Hoops considered her words. Slowly lowering his arms and taking a deep breath as he his shoulders followed suit.
“What is going on here?” The loud voice of Vice Principal Luna sounded through the halls as students began to scatter themselves as to appear as if they had nothing to do with the situation. A straight path cleared as the authority figure stomped towards the three.
“Does anyone care to explain what is happening?” She questioned, her stare digging into first Hoops and then softening at Sunset.
“There was a fight,” The unnamed student stepped forward, her voice still timid at best. “Hoops and Sunset were having a disagreement.” Both subjects shot concerned and glaring looks to her as she took Luna’s full attention.
“But it was only a minor thing, and the two of them are perfectly okay and unharmed.” Sunset took note of the girl’s uneasy smile as she tried to present herself as pleasant as possible. “Some students were curious about it, but everything is alright now.” She turned and face the other two, her expression now pleading with them as Luna’s skeptical expression studied them for any sign of a lie.
“That's right,” Hoops horribly fake smile shown on his face. “Just a minor argument is all.”
“Yeah, no one got hurt.” Sunset agreed, her tone annoyed with no overbearingly cheesy smile.
“Well, seeing as no one is injured, and as Miss Blossom says that everything is settled. I suppose that the two of you are free to go.” Vice Principal Luna said, Hoops letting out a relieved sigh as she turned her gaze from him to stare at the pink haired girl. “But, if you see any other signs of trouble Miss Blossom, please do not hesitate to contact either me or my sister.”
“Of course, Vice Principal Luna.”
“Now if that is all, off to lunch you go.”
With a final air of dominance, Luna turned and walked away, looking over her back just once as she turned the corner.
Both Hoops and Blossom let out a heaving breath as soon as she was well out of range.
“You got lucky this time, Shimmer.” Hoops threatened a continually uninterested Sunset. “Just don't post anything else about me, and we won't have any more issues.” He lashed out as he stomped away into the halls, gathering numerous stares as he did so.
“Um,” The supposed Miss Blossom cowered slightly next to Sunset, still faintly shaking. “Dawn Blossom, nice to meet you, Sunset Shimmer.” She held out a hand, perhaps a little too stiffly, offering it to Sunset.
“Nice to meet you, too.” Sunset responded with a gentle handshake, a small smile forming on her face. “I think your friend has mentioned you before.”
Dawn’s eyes suddenly lit up at the mention of her companion.
“You mean Candy, right?” She spoke a little louder this time. “Goes to Crystal Prep, and says she walks me home after school?”
“Yeah, that's the one.” Sunset said, gathering her bag and picking up her thankfully safe pastries.
“She’s actually been telling me about your conversations.”
Sunset froze for a moment before facing Dawn, the expression on the girl's face showed anything but sinister as a nervous smile stuck out.
“Nothing personal, I promise!” Dawn seemed to read the sudden tension brought on, as she waved her hands in front of her to dissuade any angry thoughts. “Just that things have been hard and to keep an eye out for you.”
Sunset gave a quiet huff in response, before slowly taking off down the hallway. She heard light footsteps behind her, boots tapping on linoleum just paces away. She hadn’t bothered to glance back knowing her sudden, albeit unwanted, savior was surely following closely. White fluffled dress bouncing along with the addition of an overlaid black crop top with a skeleton rib cage for design, almost out of place with her pink polka dot leggings.
Having her semi pleasant day be nearly ruined by an unwelcome intruder wanting to boast about his own attempt at justified assault, Sunset wasn’t one to be in the mood for any new company.
“Okay, I’ll bite, why are you following me like a lost puppy?” Sunset said, perhaps a little more harshly than she would have liked, as she stopped in the hallway not even bothered to turn around.
“Oh, um,” Dawn had stuttered at first, her voice barely above the noise of student passersby as Sunset was sure the girl had flinched at her voice. “I guess I’m worried. About you, I mean.”
Sighing, Sunset willed herself to turn around, staring at a nervous face occupying it’s attention with fidgeting hands playing with a long braid. “If you’re worried about anyone else calling me out, I won’t engage with them, alright?” She tried to manage a smile, but found herself failing before dropping it altogether.
“A-alright, I guess I could just, um…”
There was an awkward pause as Sunset starred at Dawn, whom in turn had lost her sight to the ground as if she was suddenly deeply interested in the floor patterns. Sunset suppressed another sigh, determined not to outwardly groan as she forced herself to do something she was sure she would regret.
“You want to eat lunch together?”
“What?” The floor connoisseur suddenly perked up her head, looking mildly surprised at Sunset’s questioning. “I - I mean, I guess we could if you wanted to. I’m free for lunch today, just like any other day, but, um....”
“C’mon, you can protect me from any other attacks on the way to my usual spot.”
Sunset continued walking down the hall, Dawn’s footsteps always behind her as they moved. While grateful for the quiet moment of slipping through students, most of them jerking out of the way as soon as Sunset passed having fear of Vice Principal Luna still stalking around the school, she felt uncomfortable with her new acquaintance just trailing behind her the whole way. Though it mattered little if she tried to slow up as to let the girl catch up with her, as she kept stride behind her even at a snail’s pace. It also didn’t help that the majority of students watching them pass gave Sunset glaring looks, as if they made out her forcing a shy student to follow her around like a jailer and a prisoner.
“You can just walk next to me, if you want.” Sunset commented, finally having enough of an awkward encounter.
“Oh, right, sorry.” Dawn said, slowly coming up to next to Sunset as they resumed their trek.
“You know,” Sunset said. “If you’re worried about being seen with me, you don’t have to come with me to lunch.”
In return Dawn’s face had scrunched up in surprise, almost as if a realization of her what her actions intended finally crossed her mind.
“No, no, no!” She rapidly dissuaded the idea. “I’m sorry, really sorry. I just always get nervous around people, and I tend to stay behind, and I guess I just didn’t think about what that was saying.” She paused for a moment, hands rubbing each other lightly as she looked away. “Sorry, if you want to eat lunch alone I understand.”
Repressing a deep sigh, Sunset grabbed onto the girl’s hand and led her forward through the halls, the two remaining quiet only until they came to a stop fixed steps away from the back entrance of the school building. The soccer field, along with the remaining thick snow that struggled to hold on as the sun’s rays beamed down could be seen through the small windows of the door.
“I was planning to eat with a new friend today,” Sunset said, looking over at a bewildered Dawn. “It’s outside so it will be colder than here, but if you want to join us we won’t mind.”
In response the other girl seemed unsure of how to answer, but before Sunset could even suggest she’d be better off in the school, she perked up just enough to talk.
“Sure.” Dawn said, with a confidence Sunset was sure she was faking. “I don’t really mind the cold anyway. I always tell Candy I’m pretty well self insulated.” She gave a awkward chuckle, Sunset smiling politely in return.
“Alright then, there’s a garden past the soccer field that we like to sit at. Come on, I’ll show you.”
Opening the door, and being pleasantly surprised at the lack of a cold breeze not immediately hitting her, Sunset exited the building with her new companion at her back. The two crossing the fake grass in little time, rounding through the tree line and becoming enveloped in the small grove. Turning around as soon as she found a dry spot on the stone centerpiece to set her bag down, Sunset spotted Dawn settling down her own things as her eyes wandered around the area with a hint of wonder.
“I never knew this place was here.”
“Neither did I until a little while ago,” Sunset said, retrieving her box of pastries, thankfully still intact as she inspected the contents. “Danish?” She added, opening up the box towards Dawn in offering.
“Oh, thank you.” She said in response, taking the treat with a excited glance as she tore into the bread hungrily. Still twirling around slowly, gazing over the few evergreens and the small fraction of frozen plants left in hibernation.
Taking out her own and carefully nibbling at the sides, Sunset thought for a moment what to discuss before the third member of the garden party was to show. As she remembered Wallflower mentioning a possibility of being late, and she wasn’t one to revel in an uncomfortable silence the whole time.
“So how do you and Candy know each other?” Sunset asked as casually as she could manage.
Turning around from her revolving, Dawn smiled softly as she appeared to remember fond memories at the questioning.
“It’s kind of a funny story,” She said. “Though it’s not too terribly interesting, so I don’t know if you’d be interested....” She finished, trailing off again.
“Sorry if I’m prying,” Sunset broke the oncoming silence. “Guess I was just curious since the two of you seem so…”
“Opposite?”
“Well, yeah. From schools to height you two are pretty different. Especially in personality.”
“Yeah, we are kind of unalike compared to other friendships. But different doesn’t have to mean conflicting, and we have plenty in common too. I mean after all Candy likes to act tough, but we can both see she’s more than that.” Dawn looked at Sunset suddenly, the girl’s previous caution draining from her speech. “That’s why I think Candy and I aren’t afraid to talk to you, despite the your past actions, and this whole Anon - a - Miss business. We can see there's far more to you than just your past actions you've been amending for.”
With the last comment her eyes suddenly pointed downward again, the previous softness on her face turning into a anxious expression as if she feared she may have crossed a line.
“Sorry, probably shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“It’s alright,” Sunset replied. “I’m reminded of it constantly anyways, you saw a prime example in the halls today.”
“Oh, right.”
The two let the peace of the small garden envelop them, as the only sounds heard was the gentle winds and the quiet crunching of danishes. Sunset was unsure if she should break the tension, as it was a pleasant change of pace from the usual sneers and whispering she usually faced echoing from behind her, as all she had to worry about here was to listen for the school bell.
‘I should say something though,’ Sunset mused to herself, sneaking a glance over at companion whom appeared content as a small smile brushed over her features while she still was looking around. ‘It’s probably rude to make her think I’m just dragging her along out of pity.’
But before she could manage a syllable, Dawn’s voice raised itself just over the background noise.
“I had gotten lost,” She said, turning her head to smile over at Sunset. “When I met Candy.”
“First day of Canterlot High and my parents drove me here, but I said I’d walk back since they were busy.” She continued. “My phone died halfway home and I tried to remember the rest of the way, ended up at Crystal Prep and started panicking since there was no one there and I couldn’t find a payphone.” She giggled as she spoke. “Candy ended up bursting out the building and nearly scaring me half to death, and asked me if I was okay. I told her everything and she ended up walking me home, and then giving me her number so I’d never have to panic again.” Dawn gave another light hearted chuckle, before finishing. “Didn’t even question me when I showed up again at Crystal Prep the next day after school, just walked me home again.”
“So you two met because you’re phone died, and you panicked?” Sunset asked. “I’d agree it’s not the most interesting story.” She smiled at Dawn before continuing. “But it’s your story all the same, and I’m happy to have heard it.”
Sunset was sure she saw the girl’s shoulders untense themselves just slightly, as she lightly blushed before cramming another bite of her danish into her mouth and quickly chewing.
“T-thanks.” She managed between mouthfuls. “Maybe sometime you could tell me a story in return.”
“Yeah, sure.” Sunset said, though her heart panged at any narrative her mind could remember. But nonetheless she was grateful for it’s quick passing, even taking a quiet snicker at Dawn still trying to scuff down the rest of her pastry.
“Hey, Sunset, sorry I’m late.” The familiar voice of Wallflower sounded into the small enclave. As Sunset moved to greet her, and motioning for Dawn to stand beside her.
“I was just in the library, and - Hello.” Wallflower seemed surprised but thankfully unperturbed at the newest visitor.
“Hey, Wallflower.” Sunset spoke first, clasping Dawn’s hand as she pulled her forward. “This my new friend Dawn Blossom. Dawn, this is my friend, Wallflower Blush.”
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Dawn reminds me of Flutters
. I like her already
This is getting to be too much for me. I was hoping the writing would improve. I was hoping I could more easily ignore the grammatical mistakes as the story got going. But I keep making mental corrections for all the mistakes, and the story underneath isn't enough to make up for it. It's becoming too taxing to enjoy, so I think I'm gonna call it quits here.
Good luck with your future stories, and hopefully you're able to continue to improve.
9408176
sadly people can be so set in their ways not even death of one close to them could change their hearts
9530314
Um, what? I'm not sure how what you said relates to anything I said...
9530333
I don’t know if I’m just not noticing, but I think this story did get fixed up a bit. Maybe not. Also what does the death of a loved one do with any of this.
9667698
Because you said something, I thought I'd take a look at chapter one again.
I don't think it's been fixed up. Within the first couple paragraphs (so about 250 words), I saw: errors in dialogue punctuation, the wrong form of their/there/they're, run-on sentences, comma splices, and repeated words making sentences clunky (ex: "But she had no choice but to..." instead of "She had no choice but to..."). So unfortunately, I don't think it's been fixed up
You know as much as I do, man