Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns
Date: 02/990 ANM
Location: Canterlot, Equestria
A small(adorable) lavender filly shuffled her front hooves about from nerves. The reason for her nervousness is completely understandable, what with five of the School's most prestigious Unicorn's staring her down over the edge of a clipboard. OH this isn't good, not good at all! Are they going to make me go retrieve some long lost artifact, or are they going to make me fight a dragon!? What do I do? What do Ido? What doIdo? WhatdoIdo?! Oh- This filly is so nervous that her brain is coming up with very far-fetched ideas of what could happen. This filly's name is, of course, Twilight Sparkle(six years old).
After letting the poor little filly stew for a few more moments, the head evaluates (judge) stepped forward and cleared his throat. Immediately catching the filly's attention, before he began speaking. "Twilight Sparkle, so far you have completed the written portion of the exam," Twilight squeaks at the word 'exam'. "now it is time for you to demonstrate to us that you can also utilize your magic." His horn lights up and the room falls into silence for a few moments.
Just as her nerves were about to break her, she jumps at the door to her right is slammed open and a wooden cart is pushed in. Twilight, Dawn, and their parent's eyes widen at the very large purple green poke-doted egg on the cart. Once the cart carrying the egg have reached a point near Twilight it stops and the two Earth ponies pushing it to leave quickly through the same door.
With that Professor Nearsight resumes talking, "We want you to hatch this egg with your magic."
Twilight stutters a little in fear. "W-What if I...I hurt whatever is inside?"
Nearsight snorts "It's hardly in danger, that is a Dragon's egg after all"
Velvet and Night Light's jaws drop at this crazy feat they are about to force their daughter to do. They, however, withhold any objections on her at least trying to hatch the egg.
Twilight gives a determined nod showing she understands what she has to do, if not the difficulty of such a task.
With the look of determination not wavering in the least, Twilight confidently strides up to the egg(which is around three times her size) as she gets closer she focuses her magic to her horn causing a purple aura to form around it. As the filly nears and comes to a stop she encompasses the egg with her magic giving the whole egg a lavender hue to match the one around her horn. Without any other instructions and no idea on how to go about hatching said egg, Twilight decides to just push in as much of her magic as she can.
After a few minutes of feeding her magic into the egg with no noticeable effects to the egg, the lavender filly, however, is sagging in her posture with sweat forming across her brow and nearly panting out of breath. Night Light and Twilight Velvet watch in growing concern as hatching a Dragon egg is a very difficult task even for a group of archmages. Just as the young filly seems to be out of energy there is a massive explosion along with a wave of rainbow light surging across the sky in all directions. As the light seems to pass harmlessly by the instructors as well as everypony in the room are drawn to look at where the young filly was taking her test, though because of the surprise Twilight's magic begins to surge out of control.
8949063
Tell me about it! And I was only gone for three days!
Ooo, update!
It would help if you could get each chapter to at least 1500, it helps draw in readers.
8949556
I agree I haven't even started and the chapters already look to short to be good, but I still give it a chance.
It doesn't look good the way you skipped to this moment.
Sorry but again I'm dissapointed that it stopped there, you could have started with them waking up or even showing her sister who maybe also get's an exam that day.
8949556
8949806
Okay to you both I'm going to point you to this,
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/812728/crazy-stuffhttps://www.fimfiction.net/blog/812728/crazy-stuff
8949832
MAJOR SPOILERS I'm serious it could ruin the whole story, also please don't plagurize this idea.
Seriously I'm warning you now that unless you have a problem with the skips and how Dawn acts up to the exam then STOP!
Okay the this is I'm having the Human(Dawn) grow up a little as a happy little filly. Also I couldn't figure out how I would write an adult human male being pushed into a filly's body right from the get go. So to combat this problem I'm going to have Dawn slowly regain her memories as a human (who was a soldier so that's why she is so controlled) So to at least keep some secret to the whole plan, yet enough to hopefully keep people interested, something happens during Twilight's flare that will make Celestia take both fillies on as her students. That way I can get to writing the floof of filly Twilight with an old Mare that lost her only family nearly a thousand years ago. Hope I sorted that out for you, if not and this story still isn't what you like then thanks for trying it and offering advice
Gimme the cookie
8972485
my curiosity is piqued... what happened
8972523
I don't really want to say but lets just say it involved a muffin, a toothbrush, Dawn's fore hoof, and making physics cry.
He good times, also I was going easy on you.
*shivers in fear* what do you mean easy?! I still have nightmares! and I don't even remember Everything you did.
*rolls her eyes* oh relax I didn't do anything unsavory
8972531
oh I LOVE making physics cry... sometimes though I just do it to annoy people {like my brother}
8972541
mhm also I do it to make ponies (and people) laugh!
No bad Pinkie! I just fixed that wall!
opies my bad, here have a cupcake while I fix it *shoves a cupcake into chief's mouth*
8972544
Here let me help *takes out jackhammer, plugs it in and turns it on shattering the wall in the process*..... you know now that I thing about it why did they call it the 4th wall, what happend to the other three
8972558
Oh come on that's going to cost a fortune to rebuild! Also I'm pretty sure they were destroyed by Pinkie to get to the 4th so she could make new friends with everyone.
8972705
Ahh don't worry I'll just use this (4th) wall fixing glue that I pulled from another dimension...... because screw reality as we know it
Also fair enough
8973225
well if you have a suggestion then please let me know what it is so I can improve my story, I can't do that if I don't know where I went wrong.
Also if all you are going to do is complain about how you don't like what I did without offering me suggestions on how I can fix it, when I do ask for them, I'm going to have to ask that you please stop as it is unhelpful when people complain about something then when asked what could have been done to improve it they don't get a reply is potentially hurtful especially to those who have self esteem issues. Meaning that there is a problem in their work so they must find it to fix it so that more people will like the story.
I'm not mad I'm just asking that if you say that you do see an issue or think I should've written it differently then all I ask is that you point me to it or else I will end up trying to fix everything trying to get it (which usually ruins the whole story) not to mention it will distract me from writing new chapters.
This goes for anyone else who feels I could've written it better by doing something differently, I can't add/fix/change it to make it more enjoyable to you if you don't tell me what you didn't like and ways I could fix it(if possible).
(addendum)
Also weren't you the one who pointed out that Dawn lacked dimensions as a character?
8972709
Well could you tell me which dimension you got that glue from 'cause Pinkie is constantly breaking my wall(of the 4th variety)
8973658
I got it from the conveniently placed dimension