I'm getting a Deadpool-ish kind of vibe from that summary. You have my attention.

8932953
Sorta but no 4th wall breaking, no healing factors or super powers and with a heavy heart, no chimichangas.

8932953
8933151
Honestly this seems like more of a Doomsday type of situation.

Welp- 🤷

8933252
How so? Like the end is coming thing? To be honest, I'm not even sure as my commissioner didn't reveal everything yet. 🤷

8933581
Pretty sure they meant in the DC Villain sense. Doomsday is a creature whose backstory is relatively dark, but basically made it so he is immortal in that if he dies, he revives completely immune to how he died. His "immunity to being killed by" list eventually got so large in one comic series that the only way Superman could defeat him was to banish him to the end of time.

8933635
Dc sense... no... I know doomsday... and yes and no... I'm not sure yet...

“Assassins!” She hissed. Even though he knew of them, he still shivered, only because his mother was a lot more scarier than any other creature in Equestria when she is pissed. “They poisoned your drinks. Mine too. Had I drunk it first, it would have been merely agony for hours but it would have faded. They used strong concoctions. But to poison a sixteen-year-old dragon, my son nonetheless!”

the "a lot more scarier" should just be "a lot scarier", as adjective usage is either "more [adjective]" or "[adjective]er" depending on the adjective in question, in the instance of scary, it's scarier. Also unless Spike had multiple drinks, it should just be "They poisoned your drink." instead of "They poisoned your drinks" further down in that paragraph as Celestia goes on to establish that her drink was also poisoned. Having said that though love the chapter, love the premise. Keep up the good work and I hope to see chapter 2 soon

Well, I'm following this now. Also congrats on Being featured.

8934032

YUP! keeping track of this so keep it up :D

Dark comedy with sex? Sign me up!

When I first looked at the cover art, I thought it was the Death of Mice from Discworld.

"SQUEAK,"

Yes yes I realized what I was looking at on the second look but discworld came to mind first.

8934386
Cover art until I commission an artist.

8933681
It was multiple drinks... over time which is how his immune system failed. Just not noticed or seen

However, there was a distinct after taste, he guessed it was the remedy she had swallowed, though it didn’t delude the milk taste. Not to strong but blended nicely with the sweetness that rushed into his mouth.

"aftertaste" is one word
Should be dilute, not delude. To delude is to deceive, but to dilute is to spread out and make lesser, to lessen the presence of.

A drake growing day by day, has little control what his body will say. A little hatchling, you still are, but your adolescents is not too far.”

Should be adolescence. Adolescents is the plural form of adolescent, essentially meaning a person who is going through adolescence.

Still, he warranted some cation and hoped not to go to fast. He began to remove the blanket above him, using his feet and tail to pull it down, all the way to the bottom where only his grey shorts with a pitched ‘tent’ was seen.

caution, not cation. A cation is a positively charged ion.
too, not to.

He was already at full mass and she seemed pleased at least, at the size. It was true, he was still young but maybe in the future he would grow and it would get bigger.

mast, not mass. Unless someone's bleeding or has been cut or had part of their body removed, they're already at full mass. Though, I suppose, if you want, this one isn't technically incorrect as there isn't exactly a correct way of saying it without being completely blunt, unlike with the other examples. It's just more common for people to say "mast" there.

Not needing to be told twice, he latched on to her nipple, this time taking the other one to begin draining it. Meanwhile, Zecora removed pulled down his underwear and manage to get hold of his hot cock. The sensation was better without the fabric in the way and he moaned through her breast.

"onto" is one word
One of those two words is unnecessary. One of them needs to be deleted, but the sentence would be grammatically correct with either of them, as long as there's only one of them, so you choose which.
You need to put "a" before "hold"

This is a good and interesting story, and I would certainly like to see more. Though, just a little thing, given that dragons in this are also anthro, I'd recommend changing Spike's age to 18. The reason why is because in the site rules, under "Don't Post (Content)" the ninth rule is that you can't have sexual content involving human or anthro characters under 18. I personally don't care, it's just a recommendation due to site rules.

8934871
Spike is the anthro dragon we see as Garble and other teenage dragons. In truth, you can move around that. The ponies are different.

8934995
I recommend fixing the spelling and wording errors pointed out.

8935104
I 'll give it a go.

Don't tell me the cover image is a Furvilla paintie. xD

8935442
Not sure...

Hmm...Interesting story,good luck.
And how much chapters are you planning?

Orange, silver, purple, month, ninth, pint, wolf, opus, dangerous, marathon and discombobulate have fun doing these words.

Orange: storage, door hinge(that's a cheat though) porridge, scavenge... need I go on? This is without using the internet.
Silver: quiver, shiver, ... words I could use in a story.
Purple: is a bitch ... as for the rest.... words less likely to use in a story, like 7/10 won't use. Still I could always look up cross languages where something native to zebracan cultrul or African cultrul could be used since she is derived from it. Please give me time to shoot your list down and prove you that rhyming easy tools for a clown.

8936438
Not sure but commissioner wanted at least 5. After that not sure.

8934815
gotcha thank you i must have just misunderstood the context of the plural as it seemed to be referring to the event that had just occurred instead of a general recap. my apologies on that one.

Rhyming is fairly easy. Rhyming in couplets, now that’s the trick.

8934871
Damn, how did I miss all of that?!

8963643
Eh, we all make mistakes, and we all have flaws. To err is human.
With only 5 areas where mistakes were made left, out of nearly 6000, you did well enough. Given how few got past, I would say you're one of the better editors on this site.

8963673
For the record, this is only my second time editing anything for this site. Thanks for the compliment.

I guess Spike's family and friends would be horrified to know they are responsible for some of his encounters with Death.

I didn't see that remedy coming XD

By the way, anthros have to be at least 18 in mature fics if things get sexual. Site rule.

Just letting you know.

WELL!...OKAY THEN! Spike just got lucky with fricken zecora!
I was not expecting that.
Continue plz

WELL!...OKAY THEN! Spike just got lucky with fricken zecora!
I was not expecting that.
Continue plz

I applaud you, I have Zecora in one of my fics but I don't make her rhyme, whenever I try to think of dialogue for her rhyming my mind is just blank. I appreciate you taking the time to do it properly. I just suck at it, I know this and it's not easy for me. But I have an explanation as to why she does rhyme, in mine it's a nervous habit she does when she's in public. Still, bravo.

9436721
She is very easy to rhyme, because I have always fascinated my self with poetry and music lyrics. Its simple if you can plan out a sentence ahead of time and what the end results will be. if anyone wants help, including you, I am more than happy to help those whom need help with her ryming.

Ara ara

Strong first chapter, a bit to much of EVERYTHING for a first chapter but it's overall fine.