The Princesses find themselves at war with their neighouring countries. Celestia seeks help from the only human on Equs, so her kingdom wont crumble under the influences of her foes. At first quite silly, but quickly turns into a more serious plot.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh shit oh shit
C'mon you bastard you ain't dead yet. Not time to give up
Nice
Gib escape
I feel like the word "trough" and through are getting confused more than they should...
Welp, I'll be blunt. After a very short 12 chapter binge, you need an editor. Editors easily found here.
It's the reoccurring typos that are the main problem, but that doesn't mean there aren't any other errors. Luckily, I can see this story is not meant to be overly based on realism or logic and is meant to have the type of comedy that makes no one cares about the small typos.
As much as I like this story, I prefer stories with a modicum of extra realism and logic. So this is where I head off, not because of the grammar, but purely out of preference. Good luck with the story
Ps: The nuke in chapter 11 was excellently written!
10756976
I'll keep the 'google' xD that's awesome.
Also, keep pointing out further errors. If ya want you can also help me edit some chapters via discord :)
After I finish the story, I'll try fixing all major plot mistakes and typos.
Hope you enjoyed the story, even if its full of typos, lel.
10757390
"Where are my googles goggle, I need to get a closer look at this," - Probably Celestia
Yep, I'm calling the goggles, googles now.
I'm probably not the best for editing, if I was any good, I wouldn't need my own editor
Good luck fixing everything once the story is finished, I've been meaning to rewrite one of my 'not so well liked' chapters for a few weeks now and I haven't gotten a word down. I'm probably going to rewrite it after I've finished my story as well.
As much as I'd like to spend a half-hour sitting here making a somewhat length "review," I'm high on coffee and I might be a bit bias as I've been binging Background Pony for the last four days. It'd be comparing very different writing styles.
But anyway, I'm glad I was able to take a break from Background Pony to read something that's just plain ole fairly well-done story, not bad, not a masterpiece, something just right to bring me out of the mindset I've gotten from reading Background Pony.
Or dear, this coffee high has brought out my wordy habit again...
10757489
thats cool to hear. thanks for your honest but kind words :)