Diamond of Darkness

by alfonso_rd_33

3 - The Early Years... Now do I have a governess...?

The first two years since the arrival of Diamond Tiara were quite bland, day and night Diamond Tiara only lived with Lucien and Mudo yet still most of her time was spent with her "daddy" with just a couple of important events happening in them. The first major event occurred only a few days after her first "birthday".

---

Diamond Darkness.
Chapter III: The Early Years. Now, do I have a governess?

---

"Diamond, dear, it is more than obvious that our current arrangement will not work. I have been able to evade my responsibilities a little because you were still considered a baby, but I can no longer avoid them. Which means that both Lucien and Mudo Will be too busy to take care of you, so I've decided you're going to require a governess."

Said Belial, looking at Diamond Tiara who pouted before answering.

"But daddy, can’t I join in your tasks as King of Makai? I'm already a big girl."

Which caused Belial to smile a little while he said gently/b]

"That would not be possible considering the nature of Makai, where strength is the level at which life is measured, I know it's hard for you to understand since you essentially are made of light, but in our world of darkness if you show empathy you are considered weak, so it is imperative that, for the moment, my little pony is not seen by the nobility Makai, besides, do you remember what I told you earlier? You know I would love nothing more than to be able to spend my days with you, but I must resume my duties so you can live happily here in Makai."

Diamond responded with a stomp that broke the marble slab, her face morphing into an almost cruel grimace of displeasure, which surprised Belial, but he hid his surprise by saying.

"Lucien...! Mudo…!"
The order, of course, brought the elders with whom Diamond had fun, but what surprised the princess was that they did not enter her rooms alone, but were accompanied by a woman.

"This is Dorothea Von Berner Diamond, and she will be your governess from now on. I hope you give her the same attention and respect you give me..."

To this Diamond just looked at Belial, her eyes bigger than usual as she seemed to work hard on suppressing the need to cry. Daddy didn't want to spend time together anymore! It just wasn't fair!, So she decided to look at the new servant, only to feel as if the heat in the room rose up as she paid attention to her new governess.

"Y... yes, daddy... whatever you want..."

Diamond replied, blushing further every time she saw Miss Von Berner, her black hair with bluish highlights, stylized to look naturally wavy, pale skin, almost the same color of Diamond’s coat, her red lips and those eyes... steel gray, so cold but bright with intelligence, Belial meanwhile saw his daughter, seeing how her body shivered nervously, hesitant between running away terrified and bravely remaining, all while trying to control the hitherto unknown, feeling of carnal pleasure bathing her body.

"Don’t worry Milord, I'm sure we can help Mistress Diamond Tiara to become a proper member of the House Aensland…"

Diamond Tiara could only blush more and cross her legs at the cruel yet seductive voice of the Governess, yet she decided to keep looking the lady, whose hourglass figure seemed to awaken in her strange feelings, as the blush covering her face showed, noticing that only she seemed affected by the lady, since neither Lucien, Mudo or her daddy showed signs of a difference in her presence.

"Well, Diamond What do you think…? Do you think Miss Von Berner and you can be friends...?”

Unfortunately for him, Diamond was still lost in whatever Miss Von Berner caused to her, which Belial noticed upon seeing her slack body, still shivering and shuffling in the throes of Dorothea's Allure, further enhanced as she answered on a dull, subdued voice.

“Yes daddy, whatever you want…”

So, Belial placed his right hand on her head, pouring some of his power to break Dorothea's hold on the girl. Honestly, he was annoyed by it, yet he knew the succubus had little control of it as her allure was something akin to breathing. In the end, Belial Power made Diamond's eyes recover their shine, and something else.

"Sorry daddy, I... I do not know what happened."

"It’s okay Diamond, Miss Von Berner here is a high-class succubus, so falling into her allure is perfectly normal, especially if it’s the first time you see her..."

While Belial said that Miss Von Berner looked at Diamond Tiara with a mysterious smile, noting also that the girl was now dissipating her allure almost effortlessly, and in fact, her whole demeanor seemed different.

"Don’t worry Milord, I'm sure Mistress Diamond will approve of your choice. We will be... good friends..."

Said Ms. Von Berner while winking to Diamond, who only looked at her with an expression of superiority and almost boredom.

"It's OK daddy, I do believe she will be an... acceptable governess..."

At this Dorothea could not help but smile cruelly saying.

"Excellent Miss Diamond! It’s good to see that there might be an Aensland Succubus in you..."

"Yeah whatever... let's just start... I guess this... personal maid... will have to handle the task of taking care of me while you're busy, father ... so, are you busy now? Because if you're not I’d rather have the maid retire to prepare for adequately serving me while we enjoy our moment together..."

"Actually Princess, I'm not busy... so, Miss Von Berner please prepare everything necessary so Diamond is educated properly…”

Belial said as he carried the filly after that magical demonstration of the power that she would possess in the future.

With that Miss Dorothea Von Berner retired with a polite “yes Sir…” while Diamond resumed behaving like the little girl she was, playing with the most powerful of the Demon Lords, one that was her father.

Author's Note:

Whoop were...! Chapter 3 is out! Anyways, next chapter we will finally get to see the birth of both Morrigan Aensland and Succubus Diamond Tiara...

Please don't forget to comment and thumb up....
Now with TheMajorTechie's edits!

Comments

[TheMajorTechie]

The first major event occurred only few days after her first "birthday"...

I'm just gonna stop pointing out the overuse of "..." in place of "." in the story from now on, mainly to avoid becoming repetitive. Just make sure that you make the necessary changes.

"Diamond, dear is more than obvious that our current arrangement will not work, I have been able to evade my responsibilities a little because you were still considered a baby, but I can no longer avoid them... Which means that both Lucien and Mudo Will be too busy to take care of you, so I've decided you're going to require a governess..."

"Diamond, dear, it is more than obvious that our current arrangement will not work. I have been able to evade my responsibilities a little

and so on.

looking at Diamond Tiara whom looked like a 4 year old girl, her face pouted while he answered...

Unnecessary to describe that she looks like a 4-year-old girl. It doesn't add any meaningful value to the current events. Just say that Diamond Tirara pouted, like this: (continuing off of Belial said,)

said, looking at Diamond Tiara as she pouted.

Also, just like the issue with the overuse of ellipses, I'm going to stop mentioning the recurring issue of completely separating dialogue from dialogue tags and action. It's usually okay to do this with shorter lines, but with longer speech like the one starting with "Diamond, dear is" it's really not a good idea to separate things like that.

her eyes bigger Than usual

You seem to have an issue of random capitalization being sprinkled throughout the story. Remember, only capitalize names, titles, and the beginnings of a sentence. Unless you're shouting on the internet. Then USE ALL CAPS, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!11!!111!

Diamond felt a dread but also an irresistible fascination...

Show, don't tell. How did she feel dread? How is she fascinated?

Ex: "Diamond shifted on her hooves, diverting her eyes as she caught a glimpse every so often of Miss Von Berner."

Diamond Tiara could only blush more the cruel yet seductive voice of the Governess, yet she decided to keep looking the lady, whose hourglass figure seemed to awaken in her strange feelings, as the blush covering her face showed, noticing that only she seemed affected by the lady, since neither Lucien, Mudo or her daddy showed signs of a difference in her presence...

...What? This run-on sentence/paragraph is especially confusing. It's worded in a way that seems to almost suggest that Diamond Tiara is attracted to the Governess, and alongside generally chunky wording, only further pushes the confusion.

EDIT TO THE ABOVE: Nevermind, just barely read that Miss Von Berner is a succubus. Okay then, that makes more sense. Still need to fix the wording a bit.

"Milord don’t worry, I'm sure Mistress Diamond will approve your choice and we will be good friends..."

"Don't worry, milord, I'm sure Mistress Diamond will approve of your choice. We will be... good friends..."