2 - The Demon King and the Daddy's Princess.
Belial Aensland has been given different names throughout his long life but weak and neglected are not titles associated with it, which ended helping him at the time that the energy sphere crashed into his massive body so the Lord of the house Aensland could protect himself enough to not only survive the impact but to observe what happened next.
Diamond of Darkness.
Chapter II: The Demon King and the Daddy’s Princess.
"Well, apparently the prophecy was correct ..."
Belial said as he recovered of the impact of the sphere of power, watching how it remolded itself, first in the form of a very little horse, to finally switch to something more like a human-like demon horse.
-Mmmmm ... interesting ... but apparently it's a little one…-
Those were the thoughts of the demon king while reducing its size to something more manageable, watching the little one sleeping. She had a pale light grayish violet mane with a white stripe, the same color scheme appearing on her tail, with a pale magenta coat, fortunately for Belial, the little filly awoke at that moment, showing her innocent brilliant cornflower blue eyes as she looked at him with a curious look.
"Hello, little one, what is your name...?"
To which the little filly just kept watching him curiously, before extending her new arms to him saying.
"DAAAAAAAA…!"
All the while she approached the Dark Lord, trying to hug him, which amused Belial, who said.
"No little one, I asked you what is your name? I can’t call you "little one"forever if I decide to take care of you, or can I?"
To which the little one just fell into her buttocks, her face taking a comical thinking expression before smugly muttering.
"Damon Tara..."
Then Belial just laughed loudly as he took the little one, carrying her gently as he said.
"Then your name is Diamond Tiara, is it not, little one?"
Which made the little one laugh, mostly by the belly rubs Belial gave her as he walked toward his castle, cradling the young Diamond tiara, who latched on to the powerful Demon that was Belial Aensland.
Both Lucien and Mudo were surprised to hear the main gates of the castle as they were being opened, so they rushed to go see, finding his master carrying a small demon horse, yet both let their training act for them.
"Welcome back Master, I see that your campaign was successful."
Lucien said as Mudo carried the torch that lit both, curiously watching the little filly in the arms of his Lord.
"This is Diamond Tiara and she will live with us from now on. She will be treated with the same respect they show me, okay?"
was the response of Belial while Diamond Tiara saw the decrepit demons curiously, watching as they admitted and submitted to the will of his master before stammering radiantly.
"But Lord, Does that mean that Miss Diamond Tiara will be your heir?"
The almost always silent Mudo said while Diamond moved her view among the servants and father, seemingly carefully observing the exchange of information.
"of course not Mudo, can’t you feel her magic? It is a powerful one, but its power is at best, comparable to someone Class A +."
Was at that time when both servants began to actively see Diamond with their supernatural senses noting how the purity of her soul was such that it was almost painful just to see her.
"So, What will be of her, Sir?
Asked Mudo, while the girl laughed animatedly, her right hand balled into a fist, tapping the chest of Belial, who replied graciously.
"She will serve as a sister to my heiress, a princess of the night, trained by our best to be whatever her fate and magic will lead her to become."
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is morrigan in this fic
8861856
As Belial explained, she will be...
before I read what’s this a crossover with?
8861990
CAPCOM fighting game Darkstalkers...
8861994
Dand and I was hoping for a “The Darkness” crossover images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/cmx-images-prod/Item/12859/NOV090415_2._SX1280_QL80_TTD_.jpg
8861998
I'm not very knowledgeable about that universe...
8862064
Trust me it’s great and you should read the Batman and Superman crossover comics.
8862160
Yeah? I read the xover with witchblade and it was good
8862552
Didn't get to read that, but I think the witch blade was created from the darkness and the Angelus... consummating their peace pact.
Yeah, just as previously stated, if a character is just saying something, not yelling or asking a question, it's usually going to end the quote with a ," instead of the ..." that you seem to use so much.
You just generally seem to have a habit of ending your sentences with "..." instead of "." throughout your story, which overall just makes the reader (or at the least, me) think that every sentence I read is trailed on and slurred on the last word. Not necessarily bad depending on what kind of tone you want your story to set, but it's overall a very big overuse of a single type of punctuation.
The ...?" can just be a ?"
I'm just bunching this entire last portion up into a single part, 'cause each individual section has the same issue. The flow of the story just seems... off. I'm pretty sure the main issue is that you are keeping the dialogue and action completely separate in their own paragraphs, rather than the usual pairing of dialogue and one or two actions before, during, or after the speech in the same paragraph. It doesn't help either that every sentence is ended with "..." instead of "." either.
"Oh well, the new story has its second chapter."