D.N.A: Damn Not Again

by Chemtest

Setting

Chem awakes, rising from a bed roll in the early light of the morning. The thirty stallion trainees are already up, and helping themselves to a fine breakfast.

Chem stands, and looks to see Derpy stirring a pot of stew. He smiles, “Didn’t know you were back.”

Derpy smiles back, “We only got back late at night.”

Chem moves over to her, “One week isn’t much time to recruit.”

Derpy shrugs, “We had some connections. Trust me, you’ll have plenty. They’ll be here later today, in fact. How many are here?”

Chem motions at the others, “You’re looking at them. Thirty stallions, mainly from Ponyville, few from elsewhere. Our elite forces.”

Derpy looks at all thirty of them chatting among themselves, “Elite? How good are you talking here?”

Chem smirks proudly, “I’ve been training them for a week. Ponies are quick learners, did you know that?”

Time Turner comes out a nearby room as he hears Chem say that, “Of course we know that, who doesn’t know that? I mean, we are ponies after all.”

Chem shrugs, “Eh, maybe you two are. Me, I’m not really feeling the whole pony thing yet. Yeah, sure, I may look like a unicorn, but I just don’t feel that’s right.”

Turner and Derpy both glance at each other. Turner takes a deep sniff of the air, and only ends up looking more confused, “Uh, what do you mean, Chem? Are you telling us you aren’t a pony?”

Chem looks at the two of them, and thinks for a bit, “I... yeah, I am. You two have been so kind to me, I feel like I can trust you with that knowledge. For the majority of my life, I was not a pony. For the majority of my life, I didn’t even exist.”

Turner takes a step closer, “Truly?”

Chem nods, “For most of my life, I was called Austin Patton. I was a bipedal creature named a human, and I was an absolute cunt. Then some magic shit happened, I kicked that cunt out of my body, and I became a pony. Only arrived in this world about five months ago.”

Turner absorbs the information, “An entirely different world... it would explain some things. You’re odd name, the Catholics, Sirely, Jehllawhey, that song we sung. They were all references to your world, weren’t they?”

Chem nods, “Yes, they were. Jehllawhey is the names of three different gods mashed together. Sirely was the name of a store near where I lived as a child. And I was part of the Catholic Church when younger. You two don’t think any different of me, right?”

Derpy smiles, “We only think better of you, if anything. You trusted us enough to tell us your true identity.”

Chem smiles, “Thanks, Derpy, you too, Turner. I knew I could trust you two.” He reaches a hoof up near his neck, and slightly touches the red bow tie there, “Although I might change my identity soon... I wanted you two to know my past. I know you two might just be clock shop owners, but I want to let you know that you are valuable to me. Honestly, for the five months I’ve been alive, I’m glad I spent some of that time with you two.”

Turner looks at Chem for a second. Then, he gathers him in an embrace, “And we’re glad we met you, Chem. After all of this is over, we should do something fun.”

Chem nods, “Yeah. Going to the club, camping, maybe fishing... hell, I don’t know, I’ve only been alive five months.”

Derpy looks at the two, and her mind is thrown into conflict. She pulls Turner aside, and whispers to him.

As she does that, Chem grabs a bowl, and begins devouring some stew. He finishes quickly, and goes for another bowl.

Only as he downs that second bowl do Turner and Derpy walk back to him. Turner looks at Chem, and sighs, “I’m afraid we also have something to tell you, Chem.”

He throws down the bowl, and nods, “Go on.”

Turner opens his mouth, only to be interrupted by someone else, “Sir Chem!”

Chem turns around, and nods, “What is it, Mimic?”

Mimic points to the stallions waiting near the fully restored gates, “The men are ready to train.”

Chem looks back at Turner, and shrugs, “Sorry, I can listen later. This is important. You understand, right?”

Turner nods, “Of course, the soldiers are important.”

Chem nods, “Cool.” He looks back at Mimic, “Alright, let’s go.”

The group march out the gates as they are raised. Chem nods towards Fancy Pants as they pass him. Fancy Pants smiles, “We found a giant bell mechanism yesterday, we’re planning on setting it up. I mean, this bell’s hammer is huge. It’d probably almost touch the floor if put in this room.”

Chem smiles, “Go ahead and set it up. Time Turner should help you, he’s good with mechanisms.”

Fancy nods, “I’ll go talk to him, then.”

Chem marches outside, seeing all thirty stallions standing prepared in the field.

He moves up to them, and adopts his fighting stance, “Okay, men, let’s get to it!”

They all adopt a more natural fighting stance, and look to their leader.

Chem punches forward, and odd music seems to come from nowhere. Chem begins to sing.

“Let’s get down to business,
To defeat Celestia!
Did they send me cowards,
When I asked for men?”

The stallions all punch forward, with perfect form. All in rhythm as well.

“You’re-“

Chem is interrupted, and the music suddenly stops as a young voice shouts out, “Chem! Chem!”

He looks towards the forest in front of the castle, and sees Spike come rushing across the field. He rushes over to him, and looks down at him when they reach each other, “Spike, what’s wrong?”

Spike pants, “Celestia- army- right behind me.”

Chem looks up, and can quickly see what he says is true. A pony in golden armor emerges from the forest, and draws a sword. Then another, then another.

They pour out the forest like a flood, and Chem’s eyes widen, “Oh shit!”

He looks back, only to see his stallions rushing back into the castle. He picks up Spike, and rushes to the gates.

He stops at the threshold, putting Spike down. He looks in, and sees his stallions looking towards the forest like scared fillies.

Chem glares at them, “What the fuck is wrong with all of you!? You flee as soon as we see the enemy?! Where is your spirit, where is your bravery?!”

Not a single stallion recovers from his words. They look just as frightened.

Chem turns around, seeing Celestia’s army approaching. Some part of him, deep down, shouts out in fright. Yet he stands strong, “You are cowards, the lot of you. If you will not fight, then close the gate behind me.”

Spike shakes his head, “You can’t face them, Chem, they’ll kill you!”

Chem stares at the horde of soldiers, “Yeah, they probably will. Close the gate, Spike. Leave the dying to me, and me alone.”

Spike looks at Chem, but he doesn’t budge an inch. Spike hesitantly pulls the lever to close the gate.

Chem winces as the gate closes behind him, that same part of him screaming even louder.

Yet it is pushed down, by both Superego and Id.

Chem marches closer to the army, halfway across the field. Then, he stands in his fighting stance.

The army marches closer.

He glares at them, “Come on, you fuckers! I shall not fall! I shall stand!” He looks down at his neck, barely seeing the red bow tie. He nods, “I shall be Brave!”

Comments

[jen_lee_hattie]

Now it is time for celly to fall and Chen to rise from the ashes of her to rebuild the world.