A Messy Business
The farther west Clear Sky seemed to travel, the more he realized that he was no longer in the middle of nowhere. The dirt paths eventually changed to cobblestone and the shanty shacks morphed into taller and taller structures. This didn't affect his demeanor much however, until he smacked into a flashing neon sign that seemed to be blocking his path. Sky looked curiously at the sign hanging just above his eye level.
Welcome to New Yoke City: The Happiest Place in Equestria (not really)!
"I wonder what I'll find here," Sky pondered as he ducked under the sign and continued on his journey.
The initial feelings that overcame Sky when he trotted into the city nearly overwhelmed him. Bright flashing lights and blaring sounds seemed to be sending his eyes and ears into an almost numbing state. Sky clamped his eyes shut and clapped his hooves over his ears in a fruitless attempt to make the sights and sounds go away. The more he listened, though, the less the new sensations disturbed him.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sky finally managed to reopen his eyes and uncover his ears to once again take the full brunt of the disturbances the city had to offer. To his surprise, it was not as bad as it previously was. With a shrug and a smile, the stallion continued to canter the streets of his new environment.
Sky gazed intently at the various apartment buildings and businesses that lined the streets. The sight of skyscrapers and suited ponies was quite new to him. As he kept trotting, he noticed that he was getting many odd glances from everypony he passed; every one of them seemed to be staring at his vest. He couldn't tell why wearing a leather vest among cashmere and wool clad ponies was apparently so strange.
They must all be jealous of this awesome vest, he thought to himself. They wish they could have one.
Before long, the pegasus passed by what looked like a very prestigious bank. Outside the establishment sat a pitch-black colored stagecoach attached to a burly looking stallion. Since he had been trotting for hours without a break, and figuring that it must be a taxi, Sky nonchalantly approached the cart and hopped inside.
"Take me to the nearest grocery store, if you please," Sky asked, leaning back in the comfy seat he now sat in.
From inside the bank, a loud explosion pierced through the noise of the city like a bullet followed by several loud cracks of what sounded like gunfire. An unicorn stallion came galloping out of the bank clutching a large sack in his mouth. He hopped into the cart next to Sky and ordered the driver to go. The burly stallion broke into a mad dash, galloping faster than Sky knew anypony could gallop. The unicorn turned and realized that Sky was sitting next to him. The pegasus eyed the unicorn and wondered why he was looking at him so strangely. The white unicorn had slicked black hair, a tuxeodo, and a top hat. A green aura began to emanate from the stallion's horn as a gun levitated from underneath the seat, pointing directly at Sky.
"Alright. What'd you see? What'd you know?" he asked in particularly weird accent.
"Well I know that we're both in a cab and the driver is going way too fast," replied Sky.
"I'm afraid that since you saw what I just pulled back at the bank, I can't let ya live, see," the unicorn answered, cocking his gun that was gripped with his magic.
The cart suddenly came to a screeching halt, causing Clear Sky to fly out of the open cart. The pegasus was hurdling towards a nearby glass structure until he quickly unfurled his wings and shot into the sky, mere inches from the panes of glass. The suited unicorn stared in amazement at the now returning pegasus. He might work, the unicorn thought.
"Wow! That was a close one!" Sky exclaimed brushing the back of his neck with his hoof.
"Perhaps I don't have to kill you, after all," the suited stallion muttered to himself.
"Where are we?" asked Sky, staring the worn out buildings and dusty surroundings.
The pegasus suddenly felt somepony hit him in the back of the head, causing his entire world to fade into darkness.
"Wake up!" exclaimed a familiar voice.
Sky slowly opened his eyes only to be greeted by a dully lit room and the unicorn stallion from before staring back at him from across a solid oak desk. The pegasus tried to move but was held back by the multiple ropes tying him to the chair he sat in. Now fully alert, Sky was able to answer.
"Hey there! Say, can you maybe untie me? These ropes are a little uncomfortable," asked Sky as he continued to lightly struggle against his bindings.
He was answered by a slap to the face from the suited unicorn.
"Ow! What was that for?" Sky asked attempting to rub his cheek, only to realize that he couldn't move.
"Shut up and listen! You're at the Bitalian Mob headquarters, see. We're the overlords of organized crime, see. Now, you're gonna do as I say, see, or you're gonna regret it, see."
"What's wrong with your voice, and why do you keep saying 'see' at the end of every sentence?" the pegasus asked.
Another slap to the face was Sky's answer.
"I said shut up! Now, you're gonna listen and listen good. In order for me to let ya go, you're gonna have to do me a little favor," replied the unicorn.
Sky nodded, acknowledged that he was paying attention. The unicorn levitated a picture in front of Sky's muzzle. The photo depicted a dark green earth pony stallion holding a gun in his mouth.
"This hitmane has been killin' off my clients. You're gonna 'take care' of him, see."
"Okay! Sounds like fun!" Sky exclaimed.
A twinge of fear crossed the unicorn's face. This guy's a lunatic, he thought.
After being given the supplies for Sky to 'take care' of the mysterious hitmane, Sky set off to find his target. I don't think that stallion give me the right stuff to take care of somepony, Sky thought. A gun, ammo, and a bullet-proof vest? Shouldn't I give him candy, or something? I am supposed to take care of him, after all.
The pegasus shifted through the crowds of ponies, looking for a pony that matched the description all the while. He searched high, low, sideways, even in other pony's clothing, much to their displeasure. It seemed that Sky would never find the stallion he was searching for, until he glanced at a nearby sandwich stand. There he was.
Sky gathered up all the courage he could muster and approached the stallion. Sky lightly tapped the stallion on the shoulder, causing him to turn around and face the cheery pegasus.
"Hi. My name's Clear Sky. I've been sent here by some mean unicorn to take care of you, so here ya go," Clear Sky said as he handed the gun, ammo, and bullet-proof vest to the confused earth pony.
"Um. Okay," the earth pony managed to say, "where exactly was this unicorn?"
"Oh, he's just in that house over there," Sky answered pointing to where he had departed just minutes before.
"Thanks. That's all I need to know."
The earth pony trotted to a nearby payphone and punched in three numbers.
"Hello, police? I know the location of Giovanni Clopper. Yes. Yes he's in the abandoned mansion on Central. Thank you."
The stallion put the phone back on it's cradle and returned to Sky.
"Thanks, kid. You saved my ass right there. That guy's been after me for years," the stallion said.
"Why'd you call the cops? He just asked me to take care of you, so I gave you the stuff he gave me. I hope you're able to get more use out of it than I could," Sky replied.
Before the earth pony could say anything more, several police wagons came swerving around the bend. They stopped outside the mansion the earth pony mentioned, then rushed inside the building. After a few minutes and several gunshots later, the officers reappeared with the unicorn in cuffs. The officers then threw the suited pony in the back of one of the wagons and galloped off.
The green stallion then turned back to Sky and extended his hoof. "I'm Harley, by the way. It's nice to meet you, Clear Sky."
Sky extended his own hoof and shook Harley's heartily.
"So what brings you to this hellhole of Equestria?" Harley asked.
"I'm looking for my marefriend. She was ponynapped the other day by an evil stallion and I've gotta find her."
Harley scratched his chin before replying.
"Was he wearing a purple suit?" he asked.
"Yes."
"In that case, you might want to head in that direction," Harley replied, pointing off somewhere in the distance.
"Thanks, Mr.," Sky replied as he began to canter down the road Harley pointed down.
"Wait!" Harley called.
Sky turned to face the earth pony, a confused look on his face.
"Maybe I could come with you. There's really nothing for me in this city, anymore."
Sky waved a hoof, signalling for the Harvey to follow him. As the two departed from the bustling streets of New Yoke, it was obvious to the both of them that they had both gained something that day: a friend.
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Oh Sky, you so silleh
This story's awesome. Though you gotta wonder how all these ponies seem to know this purple sutied stallion...Unless ponynapping isn't very common in Equestria.
1303772
IKR? lol
Wait! It's too dangerous to go alone! Here, take this. (Sky receives bulletproof vest, gun, and ammunition.)
I've got one word for you, just one.
YES.
~Syn3rgy
This was a good chapter.
Pfft, lols. Its sort of like Forrest Gump where the character has below average intelligence and totally oblivious to his surroundings, yet can do feats beyoind what anyone can expects. If anything else, it's kind of like a weird cartoon that is somehow very appealing. Well played good sir, you have my complete attention to your fanfic
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/195/im%20watching%20you%20-%20copia.jpg
Keep up the good work man. Best regards
Heh heh... Awesome! :P
Sky is great... just greate...
1314388
Great enough for a fav, like and watch? lol
1315300
Sure! And you DO have a very ...unique... interesting... Username! :D
1319405
I can tell you the entire story behind it if you wish.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png
1319439
Sure!
1319452
It all started when I first got my PS3 about 3 years ago. The first game I purchased was "Red Dead Redemption", basically a wild west version of GTA developed by Rockstar Games (the creators of GTA). For selecting my PSN name, I wanted it to sound Native American (which I am not) while also sounding as strange and random as possible. The first things that popped into my head was dancing and bagels. I put them together and got DancesWithBaglez. I didn't realize at the time that I had spelled bagels wrong, but I have not chosen to change it. Now, I use that name for everything: Fimfiction, Youtube, Minecraft, etc.
1319484
Coolio! 
"Strange and Random as Possible" yes.... YES. I LIKE ZE RANDOMNESS!!! 
heh heh heh.... bagels... well, it's a cool username!
I get the feeling this story is going to be an awful lot of "I'm sorry Mario, but our Princess is in another castle."
1353716
How the hay did you read my mind?!
1353756
Is this going to be a problem?
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/90361__UNOPT__safe_animated_anthro_vinyl-scratch_glasses_artist-tg-0_hoodie_blink.gif?1347571055
1355341 Oh no, just pointing out a pattern. I find it amusing.