Based on Prototype, yes?

Now that leaves one question, aside from "what happens next?": who ordered the use of the virus why?

Also, nice use of the wire deathtrap, wires have so much potential as a weapon, yet are completely underused most of the time. I do hope the mane-wire-tendrils[they need a better name] become Twirus' favourite weapon.

8708815
Yes.

8708824
All questions will be answered in time. Also you might want to put a spoiler tag on that.

Just sayin'

Also thanks by the way. I was thinking about how Twilight would try to utilize the virus if she was a sadistic killer. This is what I came up with and I think it fits her. She's a resourceful mare though (at least in my headcanon) so I think it'd be a waste to have her focus on just one method of murder.

"If I remember correctly, you were telling us exactly how long it's been since Luna ascended to Queenhood and King Sombra began his reign? And please," she added, "try to be a little more succinct this time."

I was grinning by this point. I have to say, the fact that Twilight resisted ripping him apart immediately is a credit to her integrity. Ya gotta know that mister Mercer wouldn't have held back.

LET THE REIGN OF THE ELEMENTS BEGIN!

And at long last.... the song the fit the occasion for Twilight made angry

And right before the enemies are dead, they shall hear one last lullaby

How dark will this story get?

8708992
I don't know yet. But if this chapter was any indication, it's going to get pretty dark.

I just have this strange idea of the mane 6 doing some sort of fusion with the virus and being literally unstoppable.

8709032
Oh, I'm not going to make them unstoppable per se just... well... you'll see.

I can kind of see it though. Twilight did take a knife to the face and came out of it no worse for wear.

8709038
Please don't riggety rekt me sir

No typos that I could see again! <o/

8709032
I never play PROTOTYPE but it would be interesting to see each of the Mane6 develop unique power.
... could this virus upgrade Fluttershy's 'Stare'?

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/578/894/397.gif let the fun begin

8710114
Oooh I didn't think about that! I'm sure I can fit that in somehow though. Yep, already coming up with ideas as I type this.

Alright, color me intrigued (not literally, that would be weird).

I know you said you got the idea for this at least partially from legionary's story, but I have to admit that, at least so far, yours is much better. I particularly like the attention your paying to the characters' mental states and emotions. You're doing a fantastic job of really bringing the characters to life and making them feel like real people instead of just words on a page. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

Also, I loved the way you handled twilight's little bout of insanity here. She was still Twilight, still Princess Celestia's student of friendship, but taken to a very dark extreme. Even there at the end, she still offered him a chance. She just made sure there were some very dire consequences for when he inevitably said no... Given how often Celestia seems to play the chessmaster role, knowing everything that will happen ten steps before it actually does, I thought that was very fitting.

8712156
Thanks!

When I write a story I try to focus on consistency and believable characters so I'm glad you were able to pick that up.

Also would you mind putting a spoiler tag on the latter half your comment? That's something I'd like to keep as a surprise to new readers.

8712162
Right, sorry about that. Forgot this story is so new and doesn't have pages and pages of comments already to keep new readers from seeing things like that.

8712187
Naw it's cool. I appreciate it though.

And Legionary's story only inspired me to get the game. The game itself inspired me to make the story.

I just recently got into prototype myself, also inspired by that story (never got round to reading it). Honestly, your story, has given me the shivers, the type if shivers you get with exercising overwhelming power. And being a living virus that is amorphous is such an amazing power. I truly cannot wait to see more of this, and hope the story continues to give me these feelings of awe and epicness. So props to you!

8712610
Thanks for the props!

And yeah, the possibilities of what you can do with the Blacklight virus are amazing. I know there was a debate between Infamous and Prototype and I actually played both for the first time recently. I can't speak for anyone else, but I feel like Prototype made a much better first impression on me. And who has the better abilities is no question.

Plus Alex just looks cooler than Cole imo.

Hopefully I don't start anything terrible with my opinions...

8712694
While I have only dabbled in infamous through a small part of a let's play yonks ago, I can say I firmly agree that blacklight and Alex are cooler than conduits and stuff like that. And if you do cause something with your opinions, well, just do what I do, and observe. If things get out of hand, eat them with weird black tendril virus powers. I keep getting story ideas in the truckloads, but this one has me kinda wanting to make my own blacklight/prototype story... Well, anyway, I hope you keep up the good work(you'll probably hear this a lot from me) and I'll see where life takes me. Knowing me, my story would be either a bad self insert, or some sort of gb story. Hehehehe<_<

Twirus :D :D :D

8714351
Actually I'm now trying to decide between calling her Twirus or Blacklight Sparkle.

I will pull the meat from your bones, the muscle from sinew, the blood from the veins. You think you know fear, you haven't see nothing and everything all at once. I know every detail about you, from your past to your future, when you were born to when you die.

This popped into my head while reading... DemonTwi?

PS this is good so far...

8715078
Twirus or Blacklight Sparkle. Take your pick.

Twilight pulled a Walter C Donez.

Yeeeessssss. Blood! More violence and gore! This story is very good fellow prototype author. Thumb up for you.👍
And a mustache

8722509
Thank you for both good sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar...

...of blood!

Hm, interesting. Looks like there was a bit of a timeskip - and that I was wrong about the amnesia. Guessing the Crystal Empire went over very differently here. A little leery of Luna being evil, but with Sombra involved, who knows what's happened.

Twilight was very well done here. Both in trying to handle the situation diplomatically, and then... something else. She always did have a bit of a neurotic streak. A split personality is bound to be fun.

Wow...was not expecting that to happen!

Also, I got a really big Parasyte vibe from that.

Holy merciful emperor....

Khorne approves of this.

"By decree of His Royal Highness King Sombra and Her Royal Majesty Queen Luna, the former Elements of Harmony - one Twilight Sparkle, one Pinkamena Diane Pie, one Applejack Apple, one Rainbow Dash, one Rarity Belle, and one Fluttershy - are to be retrieved from Sky Talon Laboratories and brought before the Royal Court for questioning. They are to be taken into custody using any means necessary. In the event that capture becomes an impossibility, you are authorized to terminate..." he looked op from the scroll, giving the two stunned ponies in front of him a sick grin, " ...with extreme prejudice. "

What

"Don't worry about me, Dash, I'm fine," Twilight replied, waving Rainbow's concern away, "but I was thinking... maybe we should try to go for a more friendly approach, like I originally intended."

Shit.

Twilight's vision went white.

Well shit this went south for the winter

Now I really want to know how long it has been, why the F Luna betrayed everyone, and whether all of the M6 abilities are the same.

Either Nightmare was playing the long game in this one after the Summer sun or, Luna isn't in full control of her mind due to some nonsense on Sombra's part.