Bacon and Egghead

by shortskirtsandexplosions

I

Four blocks away from Canterlot High, on a crisp wintry evening christened by a rosy red sunset...

A beat-up old red SUV rolled down the road and pulled into a parallel parking spot. As the engine settled, the first of three teenage girls stepped out of the vehicle.

Applejack slapped her hat on, adjusted the sleeves of a thick jacket, and squinted towards the western skyline with a smile. "Sure is purdy out," she murmured, her breath making vapors in the chilly air. "Should be dang near perfect." Checking the road for traffic, she gave the interior of the SUV a thumb's up.

With a click of the door, Rarity shuffled out next. Clad in a thick shiny white overcoat, she did a little jig in place upon feeling the sharp nip of the cold air. "Brrbrbrbrrrr! Mercy me!" She hugged herself with a nervous smile. "Well, think of it this way—the weather will excuse any goosebumps!" A wink, and she held a friendly hand out towards the vehicle. "Come along, darling. We mustn't keep beautiful company waiiiiitiiiiing!"

A mitten'd hand—somewhat shaky—took hers. Rarity hoisted with surprising strength, and a slightly wobbly Twilight Sparkle practically fell out of the vehicle. "Whoah—!" She had to lean into Rarity's body, trembling in a velvety black overcoat with a furry trim. Her teeth instantly chattered from the cold, and she had to spend more than a few seconds straightening her glasses—and her body in turn. "The m-meteorologists certainly w-weren't incorrect when they made their forecast!" She bit her bottom lip, legs instantly swiveling pigeon-toed beneath the hint of a violet skirt poking out beneath her coat. "M-m-maybe we should j-just postpone—?"

"Perish the thought, dear!" Rarity practically gasped. As she spoke, she fluffed the furry collar of Twilight's coat and tugged at her sleeves. "Tonight's occasion was practically destined in the stars! Besides..." She reached to Twilight's neck and repositioned a set of ear muffs so that they delicately covered the jittery bookworm's lobes. "...I do believe that your exquisite company will swiftly warm things up before long."

"What?" Twilight Sparkle hissed, mouth producing vapors.

"I said I do believe that things will warm up before—"

Twilight plucked one ear muff free, squinting. "What?"

"Hey!" Applejack peeked over the top of the SUV. "Y'all done over there? I thought we did all the sprucin' up back at the house! We're late enough as it is!"

"Ahem." Rarity helped Twilight to the sidewalk. "Very well. Onward!"

Applejack slapped the top of the SUV. Th-Thunk! "Thanks a million, Big Mac! Can ya come back to pick is up in about two hours?"

"Eeeeyup!" The young man winked back, gripping the wheel. As the girls departed, he revved up the engine and cruised down the road, spitting exhaust and dwindling into the suburban distance.

Applejack swiftly joined Rarity and Twilight as they strolled briskly into the heart of downtown. Here, many of the buildings and structures were relatively old, and it showed in their brickwork. Half of the stores were antique shops, and most were decked out in holiday decorations for that time of year, complete with colorful flicking lights, tinsel, holly, and extravagant window displays. As they rounded a major street corner, they passed by a nativity scene where the Baby Jesus had fallen off a cradle of hay.

Applejack darted aside briefly to place the swaddling plastic infant back into place, and as she rejoined the group she frowned at Twilight's stumbling figure. "Dang it, Rarity?" A wave of the hand. "Didja have to put her in heels?"

The fashionista in question upturned her nose while she nevertheless used her hands to steady their meek friend's march. "This is a very special occasion, Applejack. And a lady most certainly doesn't scrimp on presentation—"

"It's only dinner at Sugarcube Corner!" Applejack shrugged, taking up the rear. "Why can't we just let the moment be special?"

"Oh, but we are!" Rarity's cheeks flushed slightly as they passed by a family of shoppers. After waving, she squeaked aside: "I've just added some extra trimming."

"It ain't too late to call Big Macintosh back," Applejack said. She patted a cell-phone-shaped lump in her jacket pocket. "Reckon we've got some galoshes in the trunk that we can fit Twilight in—"

"Heavens, no!" Rarity frowned over Twilight's earmuffs. "Of all the things we could slip Twilight's adorable little body in—it shall most assuredly not be galoshes! Besides, she's handling herself just fine!" She smiled at Twilight, giving a squeeze to her shoulders. "Aren't you, my dear?"

Twilight was hugging her arms around her coated chest, shoulders hunched as she chanted and chanted through chattering teeth:

"LookagainatthatdotThat'shereThat'shomeThat'susOniteveryoneyouloveeveryoneyouknow everyoneyoueverheardof..."

"The heck is she ramblin' on about?" Applejack asked.

"I... uh..." Rarity cleared her throat. "I do believe she likes to recite Carl Winslow whenever she's nervous."

"Wrong Carl," Twilight Sparkle managed. As they crossed the street, she gulped hard and leaned into Rarity's grip. "And I'm n-not nervous! I'm just cold—EEEEP!" Her heel'd feet tripped on the curb.

Both Applejack and Rarity caught her this time. Applejack sighed, then smiled tiredly. "Reckon I should just carry her there?"

"Twilight, darling, you mustn't allow the butterflies in your stomach to hold sway!" Rarity smiled as the three picked up their pace once more. Sugarcube Corner loomed within sight, its pastel exterior turned extra rosy in the setting sun. "It's perfectly okay to feel a little bit nervous—but that is merely the flutter of anticipation for a most sublime evening!" She winked. "Let us not forget that this is Sunset Shimmer we're talking about. If you stood any risk of somehow impossibly, inconceivably disappointing her, why would she even agree to this rendezvous to begin with?"

"Yer not the only person who's been lookin' forward to this date, Twilight." Applejack gave a thumb's up with an accompanying smile and wink. "Why, I imagine Sunset's all perked up like a Rottweiler in a cat store. Just burstin' with anticipation... like ripe fruit hanging from the apple trees just beggin' to be plucked and—"

"Applejack, darling, please save the countryisms for when we're in the country."

"Long story short..." Applejack placed a hand on Twilight's other shoulder. "...yer gonna do just fine, sugarcube. Sunset's lookin' forward to seein' ya. And let's not forget—all yer friends have got your back!"

Twilight clenched her eyes shut, spectacles rattling:

"Thinkoftheriversofbloodspilledbyallthosegeneralsandemperorssothatingloryandtriumphtheycouldbecomethemomentarymastersofafractionofadot!"

Applejack whistled. She rolled her eyes in Rarity's direction.

Rarity sighed vapors, then gazed longingly towards their fuchsia destination ahead. "Well, I'm sure Rainbow and Fluttershy at least have Sunset's nerves under control..."

Comments

[FZ6pilot]

Oh how I love that Carl!

[DrEggnog]

I'm betting Skirts came up with the title "Bacon and Egghead" and then said "Goddammit now I need to write another Sunlight fic."

[arancaytar]

legs instantly swiveling pigeon-toed

Ever notice there's a few words Skirts really likes?

"LookagainatthatdotThat'shereThat'shomeThat'susOniteveryoneyouloveeveryoneyouknow everyoneyoueverheardof..."

I just fell in love with Twi again.

(However, that first word is consider - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wupToqz1e2g - and I do think Twi would remember that even in her presently frazzled state. )

[abronie]

Yay

[OmniFox]

Pre-first date jitters?

[DarthSonic66]

... So he's just Carl Sagan then?

No attempt to MLP his name? Just gonna let his name stand out in a crowd of Lemon Zests and Thunderlanes?

Not distracting in the least.

[Darkstarling]

Reciting Carl Sagan when nervous is so adorable.

Applejack, that was just FILTHY. You're lucky Rarity doesn't speak country.