Bacon and Egghead

by shortskirtsandexplosions

X

Forty minutes later...

Outside Sugarcube Corner...

"And so..." Applejack smiled, arms folded behind her neck as she stretched in mid-walk across the sidewalk. "...that's when the apple farmer says to the pear harvesters: 'No, y'all have chicken mouth!'" She slapped her knee and bent over, laughing "Ha ha ha ha!"

"Mmmmmm..." Rarity tongued the inside of her mouth, bundling up in her shiny coat. "...I suspect you must be of a specific flavor to appreciate that."

"Hahah-yuup!" Applejack dried the edge of her eyes. "The best flavor!"

"Rnnngh... mother spare me..." Rarity rubbed her temples. At the sound of approaching footsteps, she looked up and beamed. "OoOh!" a musical exhale of vapors in the nightly air. "Will you look at that! Familiar company!"

Rainbow Dash sauntered up, hands stuck deep in her sports jacket's pockets. She glared in Applejack's direction. "'Sup."

Applejack glared back at the smaller athlete. "Reckon I could ask the same of you. Ya done brooding like a vulture?"

"Uhhhh..." Rainbow squinted sharply back at her. "...only because we were asked to hang tight. By Sunset. What's your excuse?"

"Chaperonin' all the same." Applejack smirked, gesturing at Rarity. "See, 'cuz I've got Rarity, I can say it all fancy-like."

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow pointed back at Fluttershy. "Did you have to endure two full hours of National Geographic ASMR?"

"Did you have to suffocate on the smell of coffee grinds and French perfume?"

Fluttershy bit her lip, wringing her gloves together. She threw a pensive look at Rarity.

Rarity threw just the same awkward look back. Before the moment could get any more awkward...

...they heard the jingle of Sugarcube Corner's front door.

"Ah!" Rarity rocked back on her stilettos. "Here they cooooome!"

"Oh goodness..." Fluttershy brought her hands nervously to her chin, breathing vapors into the pale starlight. "I-I sure hope they enjoyed themselves!"

"Pffft..." Rainbow waved a hand. "Let's be real here. Twilight's a basket-case and Sunset's still wrestling with villain's guilt."

"Eeyup." Applejack tilted her hat back. "Hate to say it, y'all. But things probably went as swimmingly as a hay ride through a car wash—"

At long last, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle emerged, shoulder-to-shoulder, grinning and giggling with enough mirth to light up the entire township for miles.

"That's unbelievable!!!" Twilight Sparkle gasped, hugging herself joyfully beneath Rarity's velvet overcoat. "But... if there's an actual spectral signature of oxygen detected on Hisan, then how can chlorophyll conceivably photosynthesize on a planetoid that's situated so far from the royal sisters' photonic spell?!?"

"It's on account of the reflective spatial debris," Sunset explained as the two strolled onto the sidewalk and straight past their friends. "Remember the ring that I said orbits Hisan?"

"Yeah...?"

"Well, experts believe that the orbiting rock particles are comprised of ninety percent mananite, which is a magical compound that absorbs and emits light over a prolonged period of time. So—in theory—the ring is projecting ancient solar light from back before the star collapsed into a black hole. Over the course of at least three million years, something on Hisan could conceivably have evolved to adapt to the dimmer sky. But if photosynthetic plants do exist on Hisan—"

"They must exclusively dwell along the orbital equator of the luminescent rings!" Twilight hopped in place, nearly tripping on her heels, but not caring. "It's like a forest of green bacteria and fungae dwelling in a solid stripe along the center of the planet!"

"Or off-center, based on the tilt of its axis in relation to the gravitational eddy!"

"Still! It's really really really cool!"

"You're right! Estimated at a constant negative one hundred and fifty degrees Celsius, year-round!"

"Brrrrrrrrrrr! Heehee!"

"Heheheheh..."

"Uhhhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash stretched both arms out by her sides as she spat vapors into the wintry night. "...Hello?!"

"... ... ...?" Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle scuffled to a stop. They spun in place, blinking absent-mindedly at the four girls. "... ... ...Oh!" Sunset was the first to pipe up.

"Hi there, g-girls!" Twilight waved, trying not to shiver.

"Hello yourselves," Fluttershy said, stifling a playful grin.

"Y'all... uh..." Applejack scratched her blonde scalp beneath her hat. "...enjoyin' yerselves?"

Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle looked at each other. A few blinks later, and both were giggling like idiots.

Rarity clenched her lips shut to keep from squealing like an ecstatic banshee.

"Heeheehee..."

"We... uhm..."

"We sorta started nerding out..."

"Yes..."

"Nerding out hard..."

"Super hard!"

"Hehehehe... what she said."

"Heeheehee..."

"Uhm..." Sunset gazed at the downtown area—which had thinned out considerably over the past two hours of nightfall. Christmas lights and festive decorations bespeckled the urban splotch with a consistent glittery glow. "...say AJ. Is your brother... here yet?"

"He's... runnin' a bit late, actually," Applejack stammered. "Emergency gas refill. I just got a text from him before we left the coffee shop—"

"Hmmmf!" Rarity slapped Applejack hard on the shoulder.

"OW! Er... I-I mean..." Applejack touched both fingers together. "...the dress boutique... across from town... which is totally not across the street from Sugarcube Corner where we could spy on y'all."

Rarity facepalmed, groaning.

"Why, Sunset?" Fluttershy craned her neck. "Is everything okay?"

"Err... yeah! Totally! Just..." Sunset pointed across the street. "...figured we'd go for a little walk, y'know?"

"Soooooo much shrimp," Twilight said, patting her tummy.

"And watermelon!" Sunset patted hers. "Hope you guys don't mind."

"Dude!" Rainbow frowned, waving her arms. "It's frickin' cold out here—Mrmmmff!!"

Fluttershy had reached around, covering the athlete's mouth. "Please! Go on!" Fluttershy smiled beautifully. "Enjoy each other's company for a little while longer."

"Yes, please go, darlings." Rarity waved a hand, eyelashes fluttering. "We can most definitely bide the time!"

"Uh... thanks!" Sunset Shimmer gave a thumb's up as she hooked her arm with Twilight's. "You guys rock!"

Twilight also gave a thumb's up as they walked across the street. "Positively geological!"

The other four were left alone, baptized by the warm vapors coming out of Rarity's and Fluttershy's combined sighs.

"Awwwwwwwwwwww..." Fluttershy cooed.

"So... perfectly... exquisite..." Rarity spent a good few seconds staring at the two strolling teenagers. She turned and smiled elegantly at the other three. "I just want to say... I'm so very proud of each and every one of you ladies pitching in to help make this evening shine for those two."

"Pfffft... whatever..." Rainbow Dash waved a hand. "It's just a date."

"Yeah..." Applejack nodded. "What she said!"

"As if their entire lives are going to start at this very moment just because we let Pinkie Pie sit them down to dinner and conversation."

"Not like anythang's changed now, either," Applejack said. "All a stroll's good for is stretchin' muscles."

"Yeah! And I-I do plenty of stretching on my own!" Rainbow declared, folding her arms.

"No need to stretch 'em with anybody else!" Applejack added, folding her arms.

Fluttershy bit her lip, looking at Rarity.

Rarity looked back and forth. Back and forth. Backandforthand—"RRRRGH! I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE!" Marching forward, she grabbed Applejack and Rainbow Dash fiercely by the shoulders and yanked them both together. "There!" A collective kick to both their rears, and she huffed: "And don't you dare split yourselves up until you've walked three laps doing nothing but talking!"

"What in tarnation—?!" Applejack wheezed.

"But—!" Rainbow Dash shivered in place. "We have no desire to—"

"!!! !!! !!!" Fluttershy stared Rainbow Dash down.

"Eeep...!" Rainbow Dash shrank from her, clinging with both arms to Applejack.

"... ... ..." Applejack felt Rainbow's weight on her. Her freckles swam in a fresh sea of scarlet, and it produced a sound from the back of her throat. "Uhhhh... reckon goin' for a good ol' friendly walk with Rainbow Dash—instead of a race—would be a really... cute change of pace for once..."

"Uhhh... s-sure...!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "...really strong, sexy..."

"...adorable, squeaky..." Applejack stepped forward.

"...awesome change of p-pace!" Rainbow Dash stepped forward.

A pair of nervous smiles mirrored each other, and soon the two girls were several storefronts away, walking side by side, leaning gently into one another.

"Mmmmmmm..." Fluttershy shuffled until she stood next to Rarity, gazing. "Will you look at that?"

"About blasted time," Rarity said. "Although, somehow I doubt they'll let us chaperone them."

"Heehee..." Fluttershy giggled into her gloved hand. "Are you kidding? They'll pretend to keep it secret for another year."

"Two, at least."

"Even still... we'll be there to support them."

"Of course we will."

Silence.

Rarity looked at her friend. "You look lovely, darling."

Fluttershy did a tiny curtsied. "Thanks to someone even lovelier."

"Oh... pfft... pah!" Rarity waved a dainty hand. "It's merely something I threw together! It's Twilight I spent the most time on today! You know that!"

"Yes, well, whatever you 'throw together' is superb all the same."

"Only when it lands on something beautiful."

"... ... ..."

"... ... ..."

"So then..."

"Mmmmmm..." A musical sound, and one hand extended towards the others. "...shall we, darling?"

"Heeheehee... we shall." Fluttershy's cheeks flushed red as she grasped Rarity's hand in her glove.

Rarity led the way, and the two gently walked down the sidewalk, opposite of Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

Taking their sweet time.

Comments

[RoboRed]

D'awww...

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow pointed back at Fluttershy. "Did you have to endure two full hours of National Geographic ASMR?"

Alright, that got a good solid laugh out of me.

[DrEggnog]

I never really imagined Sunset being quite that nerdy before. I mean if it were...

...

...Do I dare bring up Timber?

[Aurora Dimmet]

Rarity applejack Applejack hard.

I'm pretty sure this is a typo, but at the same time this is hilarious to try and mentally picture.

[arancaytar]

Rarity looked back and forth. Back and forth. Backandforthand—"RRRRGH! I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE! " Marching forward, she grabbed Applejack and Rainbow Dash fiercely by the shoulders and yanked them both together. "There!" A collective kick to both their rears, and she huffed: "And don't you dare split yourselves up until you've walked three laps doing nothing but talking!"

This is the Appledashery ending I'm hoping for.

[arancaytar]

Rarity led the way, and the two gently walked down the sidewalk, opposite of Applejack and Rarity.

Her name is Rarity, not Ubiquity. There should be a maximum of one of her per universe.

[NightCoreMoon]

You've got an italic ending bracket missing I think

[OmniFox]

Saw that coming.
Innuendo Alert!!!!

[ActualKek]

Every piece found its place. How satisfying...

[Vaguely Demented]

8773417
Except for Pinkie. Unless she has access to a cake bigger than she is I suppose.

[Darkstarling]

National Geographic ASMR is quite the turn of phrase.

FINALLY we'll get some text to go with the subtext.

Rarity and Flutters, as it should be.

Pinkie can have Flash :p

[sci-set]

I should've paid attention in science class so that I'll understand a single thing the nerds were talking about.