Incursion
“Wait, what?” Twilight asked while staring at the words Lieutenant‑General etched into the royal guard helmet.
“My plan is simple. The aliens will likely make a full assault on Copperhill.” A hoof pointed at the mining town on a map depicting mainland Equestria, and where two red plastic unicorn figures faced off against a green arthropod with antennas for ears. “The unicorn aristocrats will fortify its walls with spells and provide long-range bombardment via magically enhanced cannons.”
“We don’t have any—” Twilight began, but was interrupted.
“The Las Pegasus garrison and the 5th Air Division will swoop in with a pincer movement from the southwest and force the aliens eastwards towards Ponyville.” A croupier stick pushed three plastic pegasi to Copperhill. “With earth pony shock troops on one side and magic and air superiority on the other, we will smash the aliens between the hammer and the anvil.”
“Pinkie,” Twilight said, and took control of the stick with her magic. “I wasn’t going to give you the job as Lieutenant‑General of Equestria’s armed forces, or whatever you called it.”
“Oh, you weren’t?” Pinkie asked, and removed her helmet. “But why did you tell me to bring a battle map?”
“I never asked that.” The emergency meeting in Twilight’s command tent wasn’t going so well. “And that’s not even a real map.”
“What are those for?” Rainbow asked, pointing at a stack of cards.
“Those are called reinforcement cards,” Pinkie explained and held one up for all seven of them to see. It depicted a pegasus stallion wielding a saber. “You get one whenever you take over the first territory on your turn, and when you collect three, you can exchange them for more armies.”
“Pinkie,” Twilight said, in an intentionally slow manner. “I wanted you to keep everyone in camp happy while I headed for Copperhill.”
“Oh, that makes more sense,” Pinkie said and rested her head on top of the helmet. “Good thing this board game serves both purposes.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, catching a glimpse of the setting sun in her peripheral vision. Starlight had told her all she knew about the alien, but the question remained where the rest of the missing patrol was being kept, and which direction the alien was heading for next.
“Is it really wise to leave at this hour?” Rarity asked and turned to the others for support. “It’s almost nighttime, and the alien could be lurking outside the camp as we speak.”
“Or it could be heading for Copperhill,” Twilight countered. “We need to split up and make sure at least one of us is present at both locations.”
Rainbow raised a hoof in the air. ”I liked Pinkie’s plan better.”
“How are you supposed to get to Copperhill?” Applejack asked. “The chariots won’t be back until sunrise.”
“I’ll fly there with Fluttershy,” Twilight said, confidently. They all turned to Fluttershy, except for Spike, who licked a claw before flipping to the next page in his comic book. “Rarity will be in charge while we're away.”
“Uhm, how can I help?” Fluttershy asked, and shrank deeper into her chair. “Also, flying over a mountain at night will be really cold and scary.”
“Don’t worry. I have a few spells to keep the cold away and make the flight easier.” Twilight glanced at a sulking Rainbow Dash, her bandaged wings twitching. “I want you with me because of your ability to communicate with animals.”
Fluttershy gulped at first but eventually nodded.
The girls helped them ready for the cold flight. Rarity supplied them with a few homemade ear muffs with their cutie marks on each side, while Pinkie Pie scrounged around in their travel chest looking for some warm sweaters. They were almost ready to set off when Spike coughed out a letter with Celestia’s seal.
Twilight caught it in her magic and quickly broke the red insignia. It was brief and to the point. The shield around Copperhill had been shattered only minutes ago by unknown means. There were no orders or suggestions for Twilight to follow, meaning that Celestia trusted her to make her own decisions.
“I must leave for Copperhill immediately,” Twilight said, trotting out of the tent and leaving her surprised friends behind. The guard outside was in the process of lighting the night lamps, but still saluted when she passed.
“Twilight, what happened?” Rarity asked.
“The alien is already at Copperhill.” Twilight looked back at her friends crowding near the tent flaps. “Flying will take too long. The only way to get there in time is for me to teleport.”
Rarity opened her mouth to object, but stopped halfway.
“Be safe, Twilight.”
Twilight gave them all a strained smile and took off into the air. Flying straight upwards was a demanding task for even seasoned flyers, but she couldn’t afford the luxury of going easy. Copperhill was an unfamiliar town, and a blind teleport could quickly end up costing her valuable time and effort. Instead, she’d have to rely on continuous jumps over the mountains to the south.
She flew past the tip of the spaceship’s massive engines and continued the ascent until she had a more unobstructed view of the furthest mountain. It was dark outside, but the snow-covered peaks reflected the moonlight well enough for her to get a reasonable approximation of the distance.
Twilight activated the magic within her horn and teleported. The sudden change of altitude and strong, cold wind immediately sent her tumbling to the cliff below. She tried to stabilize her wings, but the momentum of her spin was too strong for her muscles to overcome by force. Thinking quickly, she encased herself in a magical bubble, creating a more tranquil environment in her immediate area.
She leveled out her flight well before reaching the ground, but the effort of halting her fall stretched her wings to their utmost limit. There wasn’t enough time for her to pace herself, so while gazing out at the next mountain peak, she initiated the next teleport, this time with a protective spell at the ready. It took six jumps to reach the area above Copperhill, and the rigorous spellcasting was enough to leave her struggling for breath.
The town lay a thousand yards below her, situated on a broad plateau with only a single road in and out of the city. Surrounding it was a steep up-slope that formed a natural barrier against anything incapable of flight, and from her viewpoint, she had a reasonable approximation of its layout.
Still fatigued from her previous efforts, Twilight was thankful that she only needed to glide to reach the surface. The further down she went, the more apparent it became how wealthy the town truly was. The houses in the residential area alone made the ones in Ponyville look like slums in comparison. Ponies were running beneath the streets lights below, though they were still small as ants to her. That’s when she realized the distant ringing she’d vaguely registered since her last teleport, and the reason why she was here became evident.
The town below was in absolute turmoil, and the ringing she heard was the faint echoes of the city’s alarm bells—informing the citizens to seek immediate shelter.
Helena tilted her head. The blue dome in front of her surrounded the entire town, and while she had initially intended to avoid any of the pony settlements on her way to confront Celestia, this world’s oddities and distractions continued to pique her interest.
The unicorn mare with the ability to teleport had given her additional insights into the secrets of magic, and the shield itself would be ideal to test her thesis.
She began the experiment by pushing a single finger against the blue dome. The moment her digit made contact the area started to shudder and quake. Helena could see the shield beginning to unravel, but chose to deactivate the defenses around her hand, effectively isolating it from the rest of her body.
The shield immediately returned to its initial, stable shape, and pressing against it further no longer showed any adverse effects. Instead, she sensed tiny particles of magic enter through the skin of her hand, and though she had little control of the process, her augmentations knew her intentions and carried out her will.
It was a delicate balance to maintain, the ratio between organic and machine in one's own body. Those who relied too heavily on technology were equally exposed to its weaknesses, and magic appeared to work similarly in that aspect.
The magic within her hand began to bend to her will, and at her command was sent outwards with the express order to convert and disrupt the shield. The process was slow at first, as it spread from a dark circle emerging from the tip of her finger before it suddenly began a rapid expansion towards the center top of the dome.
The shield darkened and twisted as if fighting to overcome a disease. When it finally was unable to retain its shape, it dispersed into tiny particles, and she was allowed a better view of the town. She’d approached it well away from the main road, and from her position, she had less than fifty yards to the nearest house. There were roughly five hundred houses in total, mostly two storey, beige bricked villas with black tiled roofs lining the streets.
There was only one purpose as to why she would even enter a town populated by the equines. She required a book. It didn’t need to be anything of substantial knowledge; even a fictitious story would suffice.
She began to walk at a steady pace under cover of night. The sudden change between day and night had left Helena baffled at first, and the only explanation she could think of was that the sun and moon were propelled by massive engines, which at specific intervals pushed the solar system into balance. Regardless, the darkness might allow her to fulfill her objective without rousing the populace.
There were no ponies around as she came to the back of a long row of houses. She moved through a walkway of sorts, filled with flowers, gardens, and benches. There was light coming from inside all the homes she passed, and she could hear conversations from some of the open windows. Her equine language skills were still incomplete, but it was safe to assume that the citizens weren’t yet aware of the disappearance of the shield.
It would only be a matter of time before she was spotted walking around the neighborhood, but she refused to skulk around like a common criminal in an attempt to avoid detection. Instead, she took confident steps with a self-assured expression. It would give any spectator the impression that her being here was a perfectly normal occurrence.
She needed to be done with her business swiftly, though she disregarded the notion of simply barging into someone’s home. Ideally, she would come across an abandoned house or a closed office. But when she reached the end of the row of houses, she had to take a turn, and her senses informed her that she was not alone.
Around the corner and in front of some hedges were two adolescent ponies, one male pegasus and one female unicorn, sitting side by side on a bench beneath the street lamp. Helena assumed they were a young couple that had snuck out of their parents' houses for some privacy. The male pony worriedly gestured toward the now open sky, and both seemed oblivious of her coming down the road.
Helena could have remained hidden if she chose to, but opted to continue forward until she walked past them. The pair noticed her simultaneously and gaped at her in astonishment. She knew what impression she must have made on them. Parts of the dress she wore were caught up in the wind and flowed mesmerizingly behind her, along with her hair that stretched all the way down her back. Before passing them completely, she turned her head around and briefly met their eyes. They both expressed wonder and fear at her appearance, and she replied by giving them a playful wink.
The road lead her deeper into the town, and soon, a market square was visible in the distance. She no longer sensed the presence of the young couple, but her time here was running short. Two guard ponies galloped hurriedly across the plaza, and judging by their unnerved demeanor; they likely suspected that something was very wrong.
Helena stayed in the shadows between two lampposts and surveyed the surrounding structures. On her side of the street were apartment complexes with lit windows, and her senses told that numerous ponies moved inside. On the opposite side were commercial buildings, easily identified by their signposts. The buildings were two storeys high, and the tops likely served as housing for whoever owned the stores below.
There was one store in particular that caught her interest. Its signpost depicted a lump of coal and a wand with sparkly stars around it. More importantly, she sensed no life inside. She moved along the road at a measured pace, and took a step up the small stairway leading to the front entrance of what she assumed to be an alchemy vendor. A large padlock locked the door.
Forcing her way inside would be an easy feat, though she preferred not cause too much trouble for whoever lived there. Instead, she took a step backward and leaped upward until she could grab the edge of the second-floor window, then heaved herself up with one arm. It allowed her to peer inside an empty bedchamber, and in an adjacent room, she spotted a desk with a bookshelf above it.
Helena was interrupted when she sensed a nearby presence, and before long, a royal guard unicorn came trotting down the street. She pushed the window straight up with her free hand with such force that the bolt keeping the lock in place was torn from its hinges. The noise alerted the guard on the street, and as she pulled her way inside the house, she heard the stallion raise a cry of alarm.
The pony outside didn’t interest her. Whoever lived in the apartment must have left a few days ago, and by the state of the abandoned dinner plates on the dining room table, they’d all left in a hurry. She stared a moment at a deserted children’s room and knew what event was liable for causing the family to flee their home.
Helena turned and stepped into the room where she’d first seen the books. On the desk below the shelf was a picture of a unicorn couple with two foals sitting in between them. It appeared that the stallion of the family was a miner, judging by the red metal hat with a lamp on top, while the mare must be the alchemist who ran the shop. There were six books on the shelf, and they all seemed to have chemistry in common, though the subject mattered little to her.
She quickly turned the pages of the first in the row. The words made little sense to her at first, but when she reached the halfway point, they began to change shape in her mind. Letters, as she viewed them, began to form into understandable terms, and she returned to the first page. Time dilated as she read the book from beginning to end, allowing her to finish them all at a measured pace without having to worry about interruptions from the outside.
From what she gathered, the ponies' understanding of science varied greatly. They were remarkably successful in some areas while awful in others. No doubt a heavy reliance on magic was the cause of their unbalanced development, but most importantly, Helena found no signs that any outside influence was feeding them technologies beyond their understanding.
The book offered little value besides furthering her understanding of their language until she found a curious detail. The book briefly mentioned the theoretical substances that made the stars, and Helena had no answer to how the ponies could even know such things existed. This world was situated inside a dark nebula made out of interstellar clouds that were dense enough to obscure light. The night sky had been nothing but darkness since she arrived, so how did they know about stars? Did Celestia describe what they were?
Helena’s thoughts were interrupted by an alarm bell going off in the distance. The ponies must have been busy in the ten minutes of normal time that had passed since she entered the house. Additional bells rang from every direction, and it signaled that it was time for her to leave and continue with her original plan. She finished the final book, then walked to the window from where she’d entered. Her senses told her that ponies were now buzzing all about in the city, with some gathering at the far side of the road.
Despite this, Helena’s attention switched to the window she’d broken on her way in. The bolt that kept the hook in place laid on the floor. It was clear she had ripped it straight out of its hinges, and returning it to its original place would no longer be possible. Thinking for a moment, she took the brass hook and bent it with her fingers, allowing the spring to work much closer than the original. Next, she took the small bolt and pressed it into the wood next to the old hole, and continued to push and turn until it was entirely inside the bottom of the window frame, allowing the shortened hook to work as intended again.
Satisfied with her makeshift repairs, she opened the window, leaped out, and landed on the cobbled street.
Twilight touched down on the central plaza with an ungraceful landing on her rump. The feathers in her wings were ruffled and cold, and the magical strain had left her too woozy to think straight. Fortunately, none of the dozens of ponies that were running around in confusion had bothered to comment on her clumsy entrance.
It took a screaming baby in a stroller to clear her mind and make her realize the seriousness of the situation. At that moment, a guardsmare galloped past down one of the side roads. Twilight stood up straight and ran after her, nearly colliding with a bewildered stallion in the process. She didn't need to follow the guardsmare far, as Twilight found herself in the back row of a line of guards facing a narrow street.
“Excuse me,” Twilight said, and struggled to see what was further down the road.
“Princess Twilight!” The voice came from one of the guards. She didn't recognize the old unicorn trotting toward her, but the lieutenant's emblem on his helmet likely meant he was in charge. “We have a serious situation on our hooves.”
”Is it the aliens?” Twilight asked.
Her words caused a fair bit of murmuring among the row of guards, and some turned to salute her.
The lieutenant nodded solemnly. He appeared to be a fatherly type with gray, bushy brows and a white coat. Twilight would have pictured him in a rocking chair in front of the hearth, with a book in one hoof and a drink in the other, if he hadn’t been wearing a full set of heavy armor. Was the royal guard so short-hoofed that they needed to call in retires?
”Look over there!” a guard yelled, followed by loud gasps and the shuffling of metal.
“Clear the way,” the lieutenant said and pressed through two burly guards.
Twilight saw her chance and trotted forward before the gap could close. She never did like to show off her authority, but when the guards were hesitant to let her through, she flared her wings. The display was more than enough insurance against anyone believing a princess needed to be protected far from the front lines.
All thoughts of proper princess decorum vanished when she saw what was before her. Down on one knee and ten yards ahead of her was the alien. The creature itself didn’t seem threatening, but the surrounding ripples that twisted the dormant magic in the air were enough to make Twilight’s horn itch. Whatever it was, it broke the very laws of magic.
She instinctively knew that alien was already aware of their presence, despite the fact it hadn’t physically acknowledged them yet.
”Your orders, Princess Twilight?” the lieutenant asked. The old stallion’s pose revealed that he was ready to charge at her command, but despite his brave front, Twilight found both sweat and small shivers on his wizened face. “There might be ponies in the building.”
”Stand down,” Twilight ordered, and took a hesitant step forward as the alien reached its full height, nearly twice as tall as a full grown pony. It was difficult for her to get a clear view of its face, but the extraequestrial didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave. If she were going to initiate friendly relations, now would be the time. ”My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
The alien showed no visible response to her introduction, and Twilight inched slowly forward. Most of the alien’s features were hidden in the dark, and the dim shine from the street lamps only revealed the blond mane that went down its back to the waist, and the white dress was something Twilight might have expected to see at the Grand Galloping Gala.
She was almost within hoof's reach when the alien completely turned away from her. The movement was so unexpected and fluid that Twilight almost erected a barrier between the two, despite its intentions to peacefully leave.
”Wait!” Twilight shouted with enough strength to surprise even her. “I wish to talk.”
The alien spun enough for Twilight to get a better view. Its appearance and expression was familiar, and yet different all the same. Perfect was the word she instinctively used in her mind to describe its slender limbs and smooth skin, and she understood now why Starlight had compared it to the fairies from the old myths.
“Please,” Twilight continued. “Would you hear me out?”
It didn’t answer at first. Twilight suspected the delayed response was due to a language barrier, as Starlight had told her how the alien had focused on learning words during the interrogation. The alien's first response, however, was to arch one eyebrow at her.
“I don’t have time,” the alien eventually said, in perfect Equestrian.
The superb way it articulated the sentence caused Twilight to take a step backward. Had it only pretended not to know their language? There was also something eerie about the way the alien said it as if it had just told her some grand joke, and Twilight swore that it was laughing on the inside. She hesitated too long on what to say next, and the alien lost interest and began to walk away in the opposite direction. Mind racing, she desperately searched for something that’d make it stay and talk to her.
“What happened to the stars?” Twilight blurted, instantly regretting her choice of words.
The question halted the alien’s movement for a brief moment, and the way it immediately recovered was uncanny.
“I destroyed them,” the alien said, nonchalantly, without pausing its step.
Twilight slowly processed the implications of the alien's words. Flashbacks of countless meteors and the terror of the ponies she held dearest were at the forefront, and the alien dared to be dismissive. She sensed her heartbeat increase and her senses heighten as adrenaline flowed through her system, washing away her prior fatigue.
“Stop,” Twilight said, firmly, then galloped after the alien. She ignored the surprised gasps from the guards. The only thing she cared about was giving the alien a few choice words. She prepared a barrier to block its path, but before her magic had begun to form, everything happened at once.
One moment, the alien's back was turned, and the next it stood facing her, with blue eyes that registered her every movement and were poised to attack. Twilight immediately screeched to a halt. It was as if its hostile posture ignited her primal instincts to flee from an overwhelming foe. Blood turned to ice in her veins, and it was as if every fiber in her body contracted so that the predator wouldn’t notice her presence. She felt like a rabbit pressing itself deeper into the brush, and if she moved a muscle the wolf's jaw would snap down on her neck.
“Princess Twilight?” a male voice asked.
Twilight gasped for air. Sweat poured down her body as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. The alien was gone. Her eyes darted from side to side, but it had just vanished from sight.
“What? Where did it go?” she asked, in between breaths. Twilight realized that the lieutenant supported her from collapsing onto the cobbled street.
“The alien left, and I’ve sent guards to search the house,” the stallion said and removed the supporting hoof from her shoulders when she’d regained her balance. “You ran towards it and stopped, then the alien left in a hurry. It must have jumped down the slope. I sent two of my best fliers after it, but I’m not certain they’ll be able to trace it in the dark.”
The lieutenant's mustache twitched when she didn’t reply. “Princess Twilight?”
“Send another one and warn them that the alien can jump high enough to catch a pegasus in the air.” Twilight wanted nothing more than to sit down and gather her thoughts, but the urgency of the loud alarm bells and the cacophony of a city struck by panic helped her regain focus. “I will need a chariot that can take me swiftly to Canterlot.”
Helena dashed down the steep slope. The purple mare claiming to be a princess had given her much to think about. In her first encounter with the defense platforms, she’d noted their peculiar shape, but hadn’t thought much of it. Vessel design could greatly vary, and often any added features were solely cosmetic. With the evidence in hand, however, things became more evident.
Whoever shaped this world wanted the inhabitants to someday reach for the stars. She couldn’t think of any other possible reason why else the defense platforms were designed to simulate the night sky of other worlds. In all likelihood, the orbital weapons would never fire on a spaceship leaving the surface.
It was welcome news. There was always the danger that automated factories were hidden among asteroids, and were now at work replacing the destroyed defenses. If so, they might fire on her ship from orbit, though if they operated at such a low level to be undetectable by her ship, then she couldn’t imagine that they’d be able to replenish weapons faster than her ship could self-repair.
Helena reached the bottom of the slope and continued her run into a ghostly forest. Two fliers followed her from far above, but they were a minor nuisance. At the height they flew, it was unlikely they’d be able to follow her through a forest at night, and if they decided to have a closer look, she might choose to visit them up in the sky. Regardless, before the end of this world’s night cycle, she’d meet with this ‘Celestia’ and attain the answers she sought, one way or another.
Twilight sat back against one of the walls of the open chariot and hugged her tail for comfort. It was hard for her to rest when all four guards soared through the air at full speed. She’d even convinced them to go against regulation and remove their weapons and armor to hasten the flight, but the speed now made it difficult for Twilight to think straight.
She needed to consult with Celestia and Luna. The risk that the aliens couldn’t be reasoned with was now a real possibility, and they’d need to have a contingency plan if further attempts at friendship failed. She decided to let go of those plans for now, and instead focus on the peculiar sense of déjà vu she’d felt in the alien’s presence.
The encounter had been brief, but it had still left Twilight rattled. Something about the alien irked the subconscious parts of her mind. She, because Twilight now was certain it was a female of its kind, was deeply familiar. Twilight shifted in frustration over having such an important clue stored away, but was unable to place it in the grand scheme of things. Twilight could only hope that it would come to her before the situation escalated beyond their control.
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I am digging this. Has a Vernon Vinge Charles Stross vibe to it.
... wow, Helena sucks at her job, doesn't she? I won't blame her for her dramatic landing since there was no way she could have predicted that, but everything afterwards? First contact with the locals involved abduction, the second busting down their defences and sending an entire town into panic (and yet she worries about a random pony's door. Priorities girl!) And then when one of the locals seeks contact with her despite her every effort to make her people appear like evil invaders, she slams the door on her because it's not going the way she likes.
Seriously, Helena's character so far gives every appearance of a spoiled noble who is playing at explorer but has no idea what she's doing. I hope she runs into a problem her supersuit can't magically solve for her soon, because this girl is in dire need of a reality check before she further destroys Equestria for her own amusement.
idolizes celestia, yet she can't place how the creature holds itself just like the one she holds on a pillar?
8736322
Twilight saw something deeply familiar within Helena, but think of the way Helena has acted so far in the story. Would that behavior really be similar to Celestia's persona? Or is there someone else?
8736320
That Helena acts like a spoiled noble is an apt comparison. She certainly was a jerk to best pony, but in her defense she did say she was in a hurry when Twilight tried to stop her. But I can assure you that there is a bigger meaning behind her unlikable behavior.
8736330
i see where kereko is coming from, but has kereko considered that helena has done nothing to invoke the panic that the town was in? that was all the ponies doing.
all helenas actions so far has been non-combative, or not threatening. harmless knockouts and preventative measures. again, it falls to the ponies military personal failing to realize this detail.
the mining town, though- all helena did was walk through town, and go inside a building. that wa sit. the ponies are the ones that incited panic
I love the heck out of this story and I can't wait for there to be more of it.
In the story description, astrology is not the right word, as that is the practice of using stars to predict the future, like horoscopes for the astrological signs of Capricorn, Leo and Virgo, among other things. The word you want to use is Astronomy.
8736381
Oh crap, that's embarrassing! Good catch!
Looks interesting so far
8736330
Oh undoubtedly. You don't go onto a million year journey without a reason after all, but so it seems to be to satisfy her own curiosity, something she could accomplish just as well by talking to the locals, rather than causing mass panic.
8736364
Well, no, walking into a town is not aggressive, you're right there. Walking into a town after you just tore apart its defences, that is aggressive. If I were to walk into a room after I just blew up the wall keeping me out, then I very much would be responsible for the panic that followed. I'm the one that just casually destroyed their sense of security because it inconvenienced me, after all.
Plus, non-lethal abduction is still an aggressive, threatening combat action. And one I would fully understand would mark me as a criminal purely on the abduction alone. Were these acts done on any society other than Equestria this would damage diplomatic relationships for years to come.
This looks very promising. I'm going to read the hell out of this when I get back.
She is an immortal posthuman GOD... she’s not trying to hurt anyone but she’s so far from human she’s like an alien.
8736425
true, but it's not like the equestrians are giving her any choice either. they immediately rolled out the army when she arrived, humans may have done the same- point stands though. the ship i can understand, it's a crash site, and rescuing any life from it is good. the patrols? those can be seen as an offensive combatant. but it goes both ways i guess, so meh
8736641
A bit backwards, I'd say. Helena in her supersuit is a god amongst mortals. She's completely untouchable to anything the ponies can throw at her. If anyone doesn't have a choice it's the Equestrians because Helena can just plain not care about anything they want and there is nothing they can do about it.
Meanwhile that same godlike power means Helena has every choice. She could have opened diplomacy with her first encounter, but she chose the convenience of abduction and mindmelding. She could have opened diplomacy after Starlight escaped, but instead chose to rip apart a town's defences and send it into panic so she could break in get her hands on some books.
Hell, Twilight pretty much gift wrapped a diplomatic route for her by opening dialogue, a clear and obvious choice right there, but Helena just went 'nah' as if it was too much of a bother.
So; Helena encountered a series of defensive stations surrounding an apparently populated planet.
Did she respect other peoples privacy and property rights? Withdraw and try to make contact? Attempt to analyze the purpose or purposes of those stations? Try to determine their programming? Find out if they had other functions of if they were needed to defend against something else?
She's been around for millions of years. So divide 75 years by even 1,000,000 years. One year is less important to her than half an hour is to you. And she could not be bothered to spend even the equivalent of a couple of minutes actually working on finding out what was going on before she started meddling on a planetary scale? After all, we know she didn't, because the basic properties of the system (such as the rapid change between day and night) are still surprising her. That tells us that she spent less than a day observing before starting to meddle.
So she blew those defenses up. In the process of ripping down someone else's protective systems, she scattered debris of unknown composition across a populated planet and into it's orbital space. If that world had any basic orbital facilities, or weather, communications, or other utility satellites, or was likely to develop any, they're out of luck for a few millennia. Even of those stations didn't have some vital function other than defense in this blatantly artificial system, and even if no larger pieces started forest fires or something, she scattered dusts, metal compounds, combustion products, and quite possibly toxins and radioactive materials throughout a planetary atmosphere. At least a few people - those with borderline-survivable respiratory problems, or sensitivities, or who needed emergency services that were diverted to dealing with the panics she caused - will have died. Depending on the composition of those defenses it was entirely possible that the entire planetary population would die.
Even disregarding those indirect casualties, she terrified a planet because she had no patience. She is, at the least, criminally negligent, trespassing, performing medical and mental probes without consent, and kidnapping people. Stopping to rescue a bear or fix a latch just points up that she shows no comprehension of the large-scale impact of her impulses - and that same lack of comprehension shows any "for the greater good!" style of justification as a mask for pure arrogance and a complete lack of ethics.
I'm sorry if Helena is meant to be a sympathetic, or even responsible, character... but at this point, if the ponies should manage to kill her, it really looks like they will be doing the galaxy a considerable favor. She controls a lot of power and has no sense or impulse control, and that is not a good thing.
God damn it! First it’s Overlord, then it’s Starblazers, and now it’s this story!
Why must I be cursed with finding such interesting stories, go through everything they have available, then be forced to wait for the next update???
Wow, Helena is an asshole.
8736425
I'd like to highlight that there are two more factors in play here for Helena. They don't justify her douchey actions, but they may make them more understandable.
She believes a human like her self is controlling the ponies, and the defense stations have been destroying ships for a very long time. It would be safe to assume that the hidden human (if there are any) does not like that Helena is on the planet. She needs to confront that danger as soon as possible, and having friendly discussions with primitive ponies would likely take too long, not be productive, and leave her vulnerable.
Remember her reaction to finding out that real aliens do exist after searching for them for millenia? Now, there is more to say here but that might be spoilery. Hopefully it will become clearer with the next chapter.
I did say that calling her a noble was a good comparison. Part of that means that she's responsible for the big picture. What she does affects entire worlds, and if she can gain an advantage by experimenting with magic and further increasing her knowledge about their language, than she might consider it despite the temporary consequences to one town.
There is also a theme going on here with Helena. Think about her actions, big and small, and how Twilight reacts to her. Helena herself is a puzzle that is beginning to unravel.
8736929
She had to destroy those station before they destroyed her. She deliberately cut them to small pieces so they wouldn't impact the surface, and probably took unnecessary damage in doing so.
A defense system that ambushes and destroys anyone that travels through the nebula.
It's been three million years since she left Earth, but remember they only have sublight travel. Nearly all those years would have been spent in cryostasis while her ship traveled between the stars. But to say she's a few ten thousand years old wouldn't be incorrect.
Actually, I think few people see here as such, including me. She is so far more of a villain than a hero. Or you could say misguided hero? She might be a good guy, but doesn't mean she's a good guy. (Wreck-It Ralph)
8737383
Oh. Ooooh. So she's not just a spoiled noble, she's a spoiled noble with a hero complex? Trying to ride in and save Equestria from a wicked tyrant?
... My earlier hope for something her super suit can't handle forcing a reality check stands. In fact, it's gotten a bit bigger. The only thing worse than someone with no regard to consequences is someone who is that, but also believes they are in the right and everyone else is just blind to the truth.
8736690
i like you lol nice to talk about things this way and not have someone yelling at me in the comments section.
8737544
Likewise. It's always nice to discuss different views on fics without being shouty about it.
8737411
You're making quite a few assumptions. We know that Helena seeks to confront Celestia to find answers, but not what she plans after she learns the truth. Granted, her prior interactions may not speak highly of her decision making abilities, but note those decision were made with little information and a very foreign world view. Ultimately, much of what she did can't be reasonably justified, but that's also part of the story for a reason. I believe it's possible to figure out those reasons with the information the chapters have given so far, but more will be revealed in time.
8737657
Making assumptions and seeing whether you're right or wrong is part of the fun! And who knows? Maybe meeting Celestia will be that reality check I'm hoping for. Not all reality checks have to be curbstomps after all, some can just be realizations that you just dun goofed. Helena seems to think Celestia is a human playing pretend god over the ponies, but that's a mistake a simple meeting will dispel unless she is going to approach that meeting with denial at full charge.
Well of course I'm making assumptions, I don't have your author's inside eye.
8737709
Indeed, and I highly encourage any sort of delicious speculation. One reader could pick up on details that another might have missed, or even inform the writer when there might be potential plot holes looming. But I do get wary when nearly all the focus is to bash a character into the ground.
I think few people dispute the fact that Helena, like Twilight thought, deserves a good scolding and a lengthy lecture on common courtesy.
Yes, please do not take a criticism of her actions to be criticisms of your writing. :-) I am enjoying your story very much and I look forward to her getting her comeuppance. :-) or whatever the story has in store. :-)
8738389
Oh don't worry, I'm not saying that Helena should forever burn in hell or whatnot. I don't hate her, I just think she needs a wake up call that Equestria isn't her kingdom to do with as she pleases. The focus on Helena, at least on my end, is more because the story is focused on her. With Helena being the big unknown factor central to the story, she just draws the attention more than the other characters.
Two parts then: Behavior and Physics (I prefer the physics really, but the behavior is much shorter. Unfortunately, the physics part is going to be pretty long).
1) Helena encountered a probably-inhabited planetary system.
2) She had no reason to presume that she had arrived at a crisis point.
3) Since she determined the outcome of her "battle" (victory for her with little or no lasting damage) in advance, she was not threatened.
4) She decided to meddle without bothering to determine what the consequences would be first. Since she didn't know if those stations did anything vital, that meddling could have resulted in anything from crop and navigation failures up through planetary genocide.
Not realizing that would be idiotic. If she realized that and proceeded before investigating anyway, she decided that gambling with the lives of a planetary population was preferable to taking some time to investigate what was going on.
Yes, you can have her make assumptions calling for urgent intervention (although any that do not recognize that the place has gotten along without intervention for a long time will be silly) - but using personal assumptions as a basis for major decisions is simply another form of idiocy or insanity (irrational arrogance in this case). .
There's nothing wrong with a stupid or psychopathic character, but there IS a problem if that's not what she's supposed to be, since that's what she's been written as to start off. Endangering other peoples lives because of your own poor logic is not acceptable.
Now when it comes to the physics, I'm going to be taking figures from Barnard 68. It happens to be thoroughly studied, is very well defined, and is dense enough to be past the critical point where it starts to collapse into a star (it will take about 200,000 years) - and so gives us some easy benchmarks; it's as dense as a dark nebula can get. Avoiding collapse in a denser nebula is possible, but involves adding enough energy to hold it up - and then it will no longer be dark. There's no way around that while respecting relativity, thermodynamics, or the various conservation principles.
The mean free path of a photon within Barnard 68 is roughly 5.5 Light Days (sources vary slightly, but that's fairly close to the average). This reduces the apparent luminosity of a photon source by one magnitude for every 18 light days of distance through the nebula from the source. Helena's "abrupt" entry into the "clear area" is most likely a perceptual artifact of operating in extremely slow time.
A radius of roughly .25 light years and a mass of about two solar masses (4.0 x 10^33 grams) gives Barnard 68 a volume of about 5.5 x 10^52 cubic centimeters and a density of about 7.3 x 10^-20 grams/cubic centimeter - about 6.1 x 10^-17 times the density of earths atmosphere.
Dark nebulae are easily probed in infrared and radio frequencies. To avoid this and to effectively conceal a star we will want to use a much larger nebula, with a radius of at least five light years - still not very large for a nebula or a significant interstellar barrier. .
For the solar system we have a type-G star (main sequence, .84 to 1.15 solar masses) and an extremely earth-like planet. While this gives us a potential orbital radius of 6 to 20 light minutes (depending on greenhouse effect and any special conditions), going with the lower end of the mass range and a smaller orbit makes it easier to conceal as required by the story. Fortunately, the radiation pressure of the star itself can adequately explain the "clear bubble" containing the system.
Given speed-of-light delay on the coordination of the attack, the weapons systems, and on detecting success or failure of an attack, the description implies that the battlefield has a maximum radius of about fifteen light minutes and that the stations and Helena's ship rely on missiles for attacks (dispersion and targeting difficulties make the use of energy and kinetic weapons impractical at ranges of more than a few light seconds). Incidentally, this means that the defense stations had plenty of time to launch every missile they had - and the sum total was not a threat to Helena's ship since she calculated the outcome in advance.
As a side bonus, Helena's ship being able to cross the galaxy in a mere 300,000 years tells us that it has a cruising speed of at least one-half the speed of light. That would call for converting roughly one-eighth of the mass of her ship into energy to accelerate to one-half the velocity of light (and another eighth to decelerate)- and that's disregarding reaction mass. Since she was exploring, she could gather replacement mass along the way - ergo she is most likely using some variant of the Bussard Ramjet (there are problems with that too, but they're ignoreable for our purposes). Her ship is also capable of some form of acceleration compensation since otherwise she could not quickly reduce her speed below the "planetary cataclysm" level. (she had to be traveling at a substantial fraction of the speed of light to "explore" a nebula; dropping that speed inside of a few hours would call for thousands of gravities of acceleration).
The defense stations were simulating stars and were close enough to Equestria for a substantial portion of their debris to enter the atmosphere soon after they were destroyed. This means that they were actively station keeping (to simulate a celestial sphere since a geosynchronous orbit is only possible over the equator), were far enough out so that shifting locations on the planetary surface would not quickly give their proximity away (to successfully simulate stars), and yet were not too far out to produce a swift rain of debris.
Since a bit of debris roughly half an inch in diameter is large enough to reach the surface as a red-hot firestarting bullet, this implies that - if Helena's ship was carefully making sure that the pieces were too small to reach the surface - her weapons would have to be able to accurately track, analyze, and hit at a range of light minutes, targets down to a one-half inch diameter by the millions or billions (if these defense platforms are merely 20 foot cubes - incredibly small considering that they carry weapons, a perpetual power system, station-keeping drives, instruments, computer controls, maintenance systems, and more, that means that each must be reduced to a minimum of 120,000,000 pieces. Of course, this still will not do a thing about dumping dust and toxins into the atmosphere). I'd drop that as a justification; it really will not work. After all, if - in the midst of battle - she can carefully ensure that every bit of the defense stations gets ground small enough to burn up in the atmosphere, than they should never have been able to do any damage in the first place. Secondarily, if her instrumentation is THAT good it's incompatible with the notion of her NOT knowing the shape of the various city-building equestrian species unless she is silly enough that she didn't bother looking at the planet before going in.
When it comes to the notion that the defended system was hindering exploration... From the information given the defended area is a sphere less than a light hour across. Even extending it's range slightly... that's less than one one hundred trillionth of the nebulas volume - and gives less than one chance in five billion that any given course through the nebula will encounter it. Assuming that the defended area represents a serious obstacle to exploration is nonsensical. There pretty much MUST be other exploration-blocking dangers in the nebula.
Star systems are very small and widely separated compared to interstellar space. That's why two galaxies that "collide" can simply pass through each other,
Finally, of course, "she spent a lot of time in suspended animation" is relevant in justifying her impatience only if there's some reason why she cannot go into suspended animation or slow her perceptual time while her computers collect information. Just as with interstellar travel, she doesn’t have to sit around and experience the boring bits.
Overall, it's going fairly well and you're doing all right with the physics (although a few parts of that look accidental). It's only the indirect implications that are tripping you up, which is very good for Fanfiction.
I love risk, used to have a family night where the whole family in our region would gather to play risk. I room packed with 20+ people playing risk. Those were the days.
I love the part with Pinkie because it so would happen. It WOULD happen, because it's Pinkie Pie, very in character. Also, that whole thing with the golems and party hats was most Pinkie-esque. (making up pony word am I)
To be honest I was expecting Helena to try and make first contact right when she realized she'd be spotted. Thus, I thought 'Oh! Twilight is going to be so jealous.' in a good Twilight-way of course with a cute little 'Hmmpt' with her forehooves crossed and a 'but I wanted to make first contact with the alien first. Hmmpt!'
Spike: Yeah, aliens and anger magic, crashed spaceships and teacups. Yeah, yeah whatever. So long as I don't have to clean it up. Again!
I've been trying to like this story, but between the powerwank and Helena's frankly unlikable character, I just can't.
Best of luck with this, though. You can't please everyone.
9385515
Thanks for the honesty! You're far from the first person to find Helana's behavior insufferable, and the overall reader dislike of her is the reason I won't try and write a Discord-like character again. The only thing I can say is that it would be easier to read the story as if Helena was the villain. There is a reason why her actions often make little sense, and you'll find out why near the end. Spoilers: Though she doesn't realize it herself. Helena has become insane due to her age and abilities. The reason is that the one who made this world—guess who—was once also an ageless human before he too lost his sanity.