“T-Trixie!?”
Trixie was desolate. She looked sickly, weak, malnourished, beautiful...Beautiful? Spike shook the thought out of his head.
“H...help...”
She fell from weakness. She was in very bad shape, easy prey for the creatures in Everfree. Spike helped her up and decided to take her back to Ponyville.
“Here, I know the way out.”
Spike assisted her in walking, being something to lean on while she limped. Spike noticed her limping, and grew a bit worried.
“Are you injured?”
“It... it hurts...”
“You need help, Trixie. I'll take you to the hospital when we get to Ponyville. Were nearly there, just hold on a little bit more.”
They were nearing the edge of Everfree when Trixie fell once more. Spike asked if she was okay, but she didn't respond. Spike shook her a bit, but she didn't move. He paced worriedly, fearing the worst. He checked her heartbeat. She was alive, but still in bad condition. He placed her front hoofs on his shoulders, picked her up, and carried her on his back. She was light, due possibly to her malnourishment.
Ponyville wasn't far, so he started running. At one point, he dropped Trixie, picked her back up, and ran even faster. Once he entered Ponyville, he ran straight for the hospital. Onlookers looked in curiosity, but the only thing on Spike's mind was helping Trixie. The hospital was in sight, and Spike rushed into the doors, out of breath.
“Nurse Redheart! Someone needs help!”
Nurse Redheart looked at Trixie with a shocked expression, and called two medical interns to get Trixie into the E.R. Spike found a chair to sit down on. Now all that's left now was to wait.
A few hours passed, and the rest of the Mane 6 arrived. Nurse Redheart came out to the front desk.
“Is she going to be okay, nurse Redheart?”
“She's going to be fine. She had minor injuries and hadn't eaten for days. If you did not bring her here she might starved to death, that was very noble of you, Spike.”
“Thanks,” Spike blushed. “Know when she's going to be able to get out?”
“Mabye a few days, we have to treat the injuries. You can see her if you like.”
“
Okay, thanks Nurse Redheart.”
Spike and the Mane 6 walked towards the hospital room where Trixie resided. Spike noticed that she looked in better condition, although looking rather cheerless, maybe depressed? Spike pondered this for a bit, until Rarity stated somehting.
“My my my, look who we have here? Isn't that the so called 'Great and Powerful' Trixie that came here a few months ago?”
“She doesn't look very 'Great and powerful' anymore.” Rainbow dash added.
“Whats wrong sugarcube? Didn't do too well after ya' ran off?” Applejack laughed.
The three mares relentlessly teased Trixie, and she never responded. She just took every insult thrown at her. This went on for a few mintues. At one point, Trixie started crying. When Spike saw her cry, something inside him snapped.
“Stop it, you three! Look at her, don't you see her crying!? Your the Elements of Harmony, you're better then this!”
“Oh please, it's only Trixie.” Rainbow replied. “Don't you remember? She brought that Ursa Minor into town, somepony could of gotten hurt!”
“Snips and Snails did that! It wasn't her fault!”
“It was because of her bragging that Snips and Snails did that. She should be due for at least part of the trouble.” Rarity added.
“Oh please, Snips and Snails are idiots! Who else would buy that story? Everything she said was unbelievable, and Twilight stopped it before it actually hurt somepony!”
Trixie stopped crying and looked at Spike.
“He has a point,” Twilight noted. “Trixie didn't do anything evil, like Discord or Queen Chrysalis, she just bragged a lot.”
“And the property damage wasn't too bad, only a house or two. Poor Noteworthy, though.” Pinkie inserted.
“See, they agree with me, so knock it off already!”
Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack all sighed in defeat.
“We're sorry.” they all said in unison.
Spike smiled in triumph.
“Anyway,” Twilight started “Nurse Redheart said your going to be out in a few days. Since you have no place to stay in Ponyville, would you like to stay with us at the library until you get back on your hooves?”
“okay...” Trixie stifled in a tone almost as quiet as Fluttershy.
“Hey Trixie, you know what happens when someone moves to Ponyville?” Pinkie inquired...
“Huh?”
“They get a welcoming party! Oh my gosh, its going to be sooooo fun! There's going to be cake and punch and streamers and sarsaparilla and music and dancing and pin the tail on the pony and....”
While Pinkie babbled on, Fluttershy took note of Trixie's condition.
“Um... girls...” she whispered.
Nopony heard her.
“Girls....” She whispered a bit louder.
She was still not yet heard.
“GIRLS!”
Everyone looked at Fluttershy, slightly surprised by how loudly she yelled.
“Um, I think we should go. Trixie looks like she need some rest.”
Everyone looked at each other in agreement. One-by-one, they started to leave. Spike was last to leave, as he was called by Trixie.
“Um, Spike, was it?”
“Huh?”
Spike noticed that Trixe was out of her depressed state. He saw her smile for the first time, and the smile, along with the dim rays of sunlight beaming from the sun, seemed to intensify her beauty. Spike stopped denying that Trixie was a good looking pony, but it wasn't a crush or anything... was it?
“I wanted to thank you for saving me from the woods... and for sticking up for me back there.”
Trixie blushed as she thanked Spike.
“Really, if it wasn't for you, I might have not been here, and nopony ever stood up for me like that,”
“No problem, Trixie. I'll see you at the library when you get out of the hospital.”
“Okay. Goodbye, Spike.”
Spike glanced at Trixie before he left, and noticed a look of admiration as Trixie saw him out. He waved goodbye and returned to the library.
When Spike walked into the library, he was greeted by a curious Twilight.
“Hey Spike, what took you?”
“It was nothing, I just took my time walking.”
“Well, It's getting late. You should get some sleep.”
Spike yawned.
“Yeah, I am feeling a bit tired.”
Spike went up the stairs and to his bed, with much to think about. What was with that look that Trixie gave him? It was as if she... No, it couldn't be. Spike was much too young for her to have feelings for him anyway. Spike thought idly for awhile and then fell asleep.
A few days had passed and Trixie was admitted out of the hospital. Spike and Twilight greeted her as she left.
“Hey Trixie.” Twilight greeted. “Come on, We'll take you to the library.”
“Okay.” Trixie whispered in a tone almost as quiet as Fluttershy.
As they walked to the library, Twilight and Trixie conversed. Twilight noticed that Trixie was shy, almost quite as Fluttershy.
“You know Trixie, your a lot different then when we first saw you.”
“Oh, that was all a stage act, everything I did was for show. I'm sorry for that Ursa minor...”
“Oh, it's okay. I took care of that before it did too much damage anyway.”
“It wasn't your fault though,” Spike added. “It was Snips and Snails who led it to town anyway.”
“But it was my act that gave them the idea...”
“Don't beat yourself up about it. Only they would be stupid enough to believe you anyway.”
“Spike!”
“What? It's true...”
They arrived at the doorstep of the library and not too soon, as Twilight was going to lecture Spike about the whens and when nots to be honest about someone. They stepped inside and turned on the light.
“SUPRISE!”
Laid out in the library were streamers, a banner saying “WELCOME TRIXIE!”, balloons, a record player playing songs by bands like Foal Fighters, Red Hot Pony Peppers, Coltreyu, Avenged Stallionfold, and a blue and silver cake with Trixie's cutie mark on the table. Pinkie really put an effort into this party.
Trixie got acquainted with everypony at the party and even received gifts from some of them. The gifts mostly consisted of small things like books, welcome baskets, and cards. Trixie was on her last gift, a light, wrapped box from... Rarity?
“Go ahead darling, open it.”
Trixie unwrapped the box and proceeded to open it. It was her old hat, but it looked completely new!
“I patched it up after Spike found it. Do you like it?”
“I... I love it!” Trixie said with glee. Rarity smiled warmly at Trixie.
“I'm glad to see that you like it. Consider it an apology for how I acted at the hospital...”
“It's okay, I'm just happy to see my hat again!”
“You sure seem to like that hat, is it special?” Twilight asked.
Trixie's smile disappeared and she stopped embracing her newly restored hat.
“It was the last thing my parents gave to me before they passed away...”
Twilight gasped.
“I...I'm sorry to hear that...”
Trixie looked to Spike with a slightly pleading look.
“You didn't happen to find my cape too, did you?”
Spike shrugged. “Sorry, I only found your hat.”
Trixie sighed. “Well, at least I have that much...”
Spike looked at Trixie and her melancholy condition. He thought for a second, and came up with a perfect way to cheer her up. He went upstairs, retrieved something, and went back down.
“Hey Trixie, I have a present for you.”
“What is it?”
Spike handed her the box he retrieved and gave it to Trixie. She opened it and took out it's contents. Trixie's eyes widened as she saw what he gave her.
“Spike... It's beautiful...”
“It's not your cape, but it's something, isn't it?” Spike said with a hint of pride.
The azure sapphire that Spike originally intended to give to Rarity now lay in Trixie's magical grasp. The blue aura that surrounded the sapphire made it glow in beauty, and the bright rays of afternoon sunlight only intensified the elegance of the stunning gemstone. It's bright azure matched perfectly with Trixe's royal purple eyes and sky blue coat. Everyone at the party stopped what they were doing for a moment to stare in awe.
“Really? This is for me?”
“Yep. I was probably just going to eat it anyway.”
Trixie leaped towards Spike and gave him a hug tighter then any other he's ever felt and then kissed his cheek.
“This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me! Thank you so much!”
Spike's cheeks turned dark red, and a wide smile lay on his face. “Anytime...”
The party lasted until late evening. Since it was getting late, the party started winding down and soon everypony left. Once they were all gone, Twilight made a bed for Trixie upstairs. The party really took a lot of the energy from the three and they all soon fell asleep.
A few weeks passed, and Ponyville got to know Trixie better. She became friends with the Mane 6 and Spike, but took more preference to Spike. During this time, Spike begun to develop feelings for Trixie. She showed kindness and attention towards Spike, and whenever they talked, she spoke to him with a tinge of admiration. He thought that maybe he can start a successful relation with Trixie.
But then, he remembered what happened with Rarity, and he definitely did not want to experience that again. There was also the fact that she was much older then Spike, so the relationship would not work out safely. Spike sighed.
“Mabye it's best to just stay friends.” Spike thought.
“Hi Spike.”
Spike looked to see Trixie walking by. She had the sapphire that Spike gave her necklaced so she could wear it. The day she had it necklaced, she almost never took it off. When she wore it, it only seemed to amplify her beauty, making Spike blush.
“Hey, Trixie.”
“Spike, I've been thinking, and I decided that I want to show you something. Can you follow me for a bit?”
“Sure.”
Trixie trotted out the door with Spike closely following. It was late, and Spike wondered where she was going take him. They headed toward a hill on the outskirts of town with a small trail heading up. They started on the hill, and after about half an hour, they were near the top. Luna's moon was already at the pinnacle of the night sky, and Spike was starting to feel tired.
“Were almost there.”
When reached the top they were met by a large meadow, filled with roses of all colors. Trixie picked up a red one, and gave it to Spike. He blushed as she handed him the flower.
“You know, this meadow isn't all that here. Take a look over there.”
Spike looked towards where Trixie indicated. What came into his view amazed him. It was a scenic overlook of Ponyville, and the nearby city of Canterlot, hanging on the side of the mountain it resided on. The lights of the two cities illuminated the night sky.
“Beautiful, isn't it?”
“...Yeah.”
Spike and Trixie sat next to each other in complete silence, just taking in the view. After awhile, Trixie laid her head on Spike's shoulder. It caught him by surprise, but he didn't mind. They sat like this for about 20 minutes, until Trixie broke the silence.
“Spike, I have to tell you something.”
"What is it?"
“Showing you this place wasn't the only reason why I wanted you to come with me.”
“Huh?”
“I have something else to tell you. How I appear right now, it isn't the true me. I've been casting an illusion this whole time, and now, I want to show my real self.”
Trixie's horn started glowing, and her magical aura surrounded her. She started glowing white, so Spike had to cover his eyes. When Trixie finished her spell, Spike uncovered his eyes and was shocked by what he saw. Trixie was now only a filly, no older then Spike.
“This...this is the real me.”
Spike was still in a bit of shock, unable to say any words.
“But I have one last thing to say...
...Spike, I love you."
D'awww!
What a twist!
awesome.
A new story element, I see.
“You know Trixie, your a lot different then when we first saw you."
So your sure you used you're 'you're's' properly? (mindbuck, it's you're btw)
B'aww. So sweet. I love the fluff and all, but, if you don't mind a bit of a critique...
The pacing is just far too fast to really get invested in the story. You need to slow down, explain things more clearly, delve into the characters minds and explain how they feel in a less simplistic manner. Of course, when explaining these details, you can't go overboard. Otherwise the reader will lose interest... You're on the write track to improving, and you could do a whole lot worse.
The only other problem I really have is that you do so much explaining about how things work off screen. Instead of just saying that Trixie and the others bonded over time, show it. It's a lot harder to do that, but it adds to the story. Its like someone explaining a movie to their friend. It'll never be as awesome as experiencing it themselves.
Please, don't take these as major faults. You're certainly pretty dang good, you just need some practice and some guidance. You could easily use Google to look for some help on how to do these things. Worthy of a like, but I'm afraid I won't be tracking.
Yeah, but it's true Snips and Snails are retarded. They think every story is true and that getting covered in gum and being shaved bald makes them cool. They are the kinda guys that would see something on Jackass and try to copy it, fail and win a Darwin award.
I see a couple of tiny grammar mistakes, and a couple of pacing issues, but otherwise it's great.
HOLY CELESTIA MY BROKE BRAIN. Ow oh well good job with the fluff.
Trike FTW! Can't wait for next chapter!
I'm looking forward to more, but I don't think the twist is neccesary. Spiker might be a baby but he's a baby dragon so their ages still would have worked. Still, good job, looking forward to the next chapter!
I think my brain snapped from to much awesomeness
that teasing part really got me. I was not expecting that. It was at that point that I now hate everypony.
Then I loved them all again during the party.
Excellent chapter.
Dang i! You ruined it. I was gonna say pedo Trixie, and then you made her a filly. I am OK with this however.
1045422
I guess i'll just have to write slower.
Meh. I thought i was doing good.
Much as I love the concept of shipping Trixie and Spike, I can't say this is a great story. But it isn't bad, that's for darn sure. That twist just now was a terrific idea, although I thought for a second she was disguising some ugly deformity or something. It shows you're capable of writing a story with more going on beneath the surface; but next time you do that, drop some vague hints to foreshadow the revelation. Still, this concept of filly Trixie disguising herself really opens my mind to new avenues to explore with her character. It really is a great idea.
I say take PrometheusDark's advice. Everything he said is full of win, and I could never have said it as well as he did. You are doing well, but there's always room for improvement.
I don't know what to say. I honestly didn't see that coming
I find myself thinking this needed some foreshadowing. I mean something that at least hints at what to come. Even dropping in something like, 'she was acting like a filly who had just been scolded'. That would have at least given us a small of clue.
Other than that and a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes, this is good. Keep it up.
Hunter C. Creed
hmmmm so all this time trixie was a kid?.......... that........makes........logical sense and im not questioning it!
An interesting story, a fun read.
It was enjoyable with such an unusual shipping pair, yet it worked out.
Kudos to you.
Also, the part were Trixie reveals herself as a child.
I almost gave up on the story.
But i will stick around to see where this goes
Sorry bros, taking my time on this chapter. I'm trying to make sure it's not rushed so it's going to be a bit.
1185107 WHO CARES IF IT IS RUSHED! JUST MAKE IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Twilight noticed that Trixie was shy, almost quite as Fluttershy.
SUPRISE
1. For some reason this makes my head tick... and not in a good way...
2. Surprise.
Well that was differnent, but in a good way.
Nice job!
reaction to ending: dddddaaaaannnngggg!!!!:('');
Major derps
1044959 ... you realize, of course, you deserve to die for that pun alone
I'm sorry, but this seems monumentally out of character for these three. What kind of assholes make fun of someone who almost died due to starvation?