Prologue
Sunset groaned as she sat up, rubbing her head. She’d braced herself for a strange experience when she’d run through the mirror, but the swirling colors and feeling of being stretched like rubber had been more than she’d anticipated. She shook her head and blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision, only to realize that there was nothing to see.
Great, she thought, scowling into the darkness. Can’t even see my own muzzle. A little magic should… Sunset’s blood turned to ice as her magic refused to respond. She felt her wellspring still within her breast, but there was no familiar feeling of its power flowing up to her horn.
“Eightestpmla!” Sunset’s hoof shot to her mouth, her eyes going wide at the strange sounds it had made. They were rough and guttural, not at all the sort of light chime that her voice used to be. In fact, it hadn’t sounded like any creature she’d ever heard before. She slowly moved her tongue around her mouth, noting its smaller size and the sharper, carnivorous teeth that now shared space with her familiar, though smaller, herbivorous ones.
Wh-what the heck happened to me?! Sunset screamed in her head, not daring to open her mouth again. She began prodding at her face with her hoof to try to discover its shape when she made another startling discovery; she didn’t have hooves anymore! The things at the ends of her forelegs now split into five smaller digits, one of them opposed to the rest. Hands! Sunset realized, remembering the minotaur ambassadors who had visited Canterlot recently. Finding these appendages more sensitive than her old hooves - though also harder to control - she began running them over her face and body, discovering that her entire form had changed and that she was, for some reason, clothed from neck to toe.
What the heck did that crazy mirror turn me into?!
***
“What goes on four legs in the morning,
Two legs in the afternoon,
And three legs in the evening?”
Yue Ayase chuckled as she rearranged the floor tiles, a rare small smile gracing her face. “Looks like you were right, Nodoka,” she said. “Another route to the Ancient Greece section.”
Nodoka Miyazaki nodded from behind her long bangs as she watched her friend work. “It’s strange, though,” she muttered. “I don’t remember that section stretching this far. And you’ve done a very thorough sweep of it.”
“Probably something really sneaky that she missed,” Haruna Saotome called, adjusting her glasses as she looked over their map of this floor. “Or something that she would have had to study for.”
Yue rolled her eyes as she slid the last tile into place, spelling out the answer to the riddle. A loud clang was heard, as if a giant lock had sprung open. The bookshelf in front of them sagged almost imperceptibly, something that less experienced eyes would have missed. Fortunately for the three girls, the Library Exploration Club was anything but inexperienced.
“Looks like that did it,” Yue said, standing up and brushing the dirt from her knees. “Now,” she pressed her hands against one side of the bookshelf, “let’s see what’s behind it.” She began pushing on the shelf, the hidden door swinging open with a loud creak. The room beyond was pitch black, so Yue and Nodoka lit their helmet lamps as they peered inside.
The room was rather small compared to what they’d been expecting. The walls were composed of bookshelves, of course, with a single desk and chair standing beside the door. On the opposite side of the room stood an ornate, full-length mirror. However, it was what lay in front of the mirror that caught their attention.
“Oh my goodness! Haruna, come quick!” Nodoka shouted, running forward and kneeling beside the unconscious girl. Her hair was a brilliant combination of red and yellow, her skin also possessing a yellowish tint. She wore an orange skirt with two stripes of white and pink down the side, her shirt a similar pink and bearing a red-and-yellow sun symbol and draped in a leather jacket. Her boots were mostly black, with the fronts as pink as her shirt.
“Geeze, Nodoka,” Haruna said, sticking her head into the room. “What’s got you all… oh.” She walked over to the girl and knelt by her head, placing her hand in front of the girl’s nose. “Hm, still breathing.” She poked the girl’s side a few times, causing her to stir. “And she doesn’t feel too starved. She placed a hand on her shoulder and began shaking her. “Oy, you okay in there?”
The girl groaned, her light blue eyes fluttering open. They slowly focused as she pushed herself onto her hands and knees, looking up to face the girls. Her eyes instantly became wide and alert as she cried out, jerking away from Haruna and Nodoka and staring at them like they were some sort of monsters.
“Huh,” Haruna said, looking up as she rubbed the back of her neck. “Usually people don’t do that until they’ve gotten to know me.”
***
What in Equestria are these creatures?!
Sunset stared at the three beings who had discovered her, and who were now blocking her way out. She had spent the last two days learning that her body was bipedal and that she felt rather chilly without her clothes on. She’d found the mirror quickly enough, but she hadn’t been quite desperate enough to run back through to Equestria. She’d figured that she had one more day to find a way out of this room before she took that option. Now, facing these strange, monkey-like things, she was beginning to regret her decision to stay.
“ねえ、大丈夫ですか?”
It didn’t help that she couldn’t understand a word that they were saying. The creature before her seemed friendly, her long, purple bangs almost hiding her kind eyes, but the words she spoke sounded completely alien. Sunset's own attempts to speak Equestrian had met with dismal failure as her new vocal chords and mouth structure seemed poorly adapted to her native tongue’s musical tones. Luckily, she’d found the desk in her fumblings, along with the parchment, quill, and ink that had rested in one of the drawers. Though she’d had no light to work with, it had at least allowed her to practice using her new fingers. And in this case, it might help her get across that there was a language barrier without resorting to sounding like a demented animal.
Sunset grabbed a nearby parchment and quill, opening a flask of ink. She quickly began to scratch out a message to these strangers. She knew they wouldn’t understand it, but perhaps they would be able to use a translation spell of some sort. Even if they were as without magic as she was, the complexity of the writing would at least convey intelligence and language to them.
Having finished writing out two paragraphs worth of information regarding her current situation, Sunset blew on the ink to help it dry before handing the parchment over to the girl with the long bangs.
“これは何ですか？” the girl asked, taking the page. “私は以前この言語を見たことがない。”
While the three girls looked over Sunset’s work, she stood up and walked over to the mirror, finally getting a good look at herself. She turned back and forth a bit, examining both her strange new body and the clothes she wore. She smiled, enjoying the view. Wait, what? Sunset shook her head a few times, frowning at herself in the mirror. Why the hay am I attracted to this? I mean, I know I was hot before, but I’ve never had a thing for other species. Was it something the mirror did? Sunset closed her eyes for a moment, her mind conjuring images of mares and stallions in provocative poses. Despite the obvious sexuality that had been her company on many lonely nights back in Equestria, Sunset didn’t feel even a twinge of arousal. That must be it, then, she concluded, opening her eyes and looking herself up and down once again. The portal must have affected my mind, too. That certainly explains how I picked up walking on my hinds and moving my fingers so easily. Her frown morphed into a scowl. Now if only it had given me the language, too.
“ええと...” Sunset turned around to find the three girls staring at her. The one with the bangs stepped forward hesitantly. “あなたは日本語を話せませんか？” Sunset shrugged. Her stomach then decided to remind her that she hadn’t eaten in two days, growling loudly enough to wake the dead. “ああ！ちょっとまってください。” The girl rummaged around in her pack for a moment before pulling out a stick of… something brown wrapped in plastic. “私はそれがあまりないことを知っているが、これは私が今持っているすべてです。 あなたが望むなら、あなたはそれを持つことができます。”
Sunset hesitated before taking the stick of food. She sniffed it a few times, jerking back at the salty and pungent smell. Meat? she thought. I mean, I kind of figured from the teeth, but still… Sunset had eaten meat once before on a dare and the taste hadn’t been too bad, but she found her mouth watering almost uncontrollably at the now tantalizing scent. Stupid portal messing with my head, she thought as she tore off the top of the plastic. Well, when in Roam, I guess.
***
Summer turned to Autumn as the Library Exploration Club continued to visit Sunset, bringing Konoka Konoe with them on their second trip to deliver food to her. This had been followed by a trip to speak with the headmaster, who had authorized the four of them to teach this girl Japanese in an attempt to discover where she was from and how she had come to be in the library.
Sunset, meanwhile, had decided not to return through the portal, though it meant that she would be trapped here for the next two and a half years. She hadn’t completely given up on magic in this world (a quick peek outside of her new room had convinced her that there was definitely more to the library than met the eye) but had set it aside for now in favor of a more immediate need: learning the local language. Thankfully, her new benefactors were of a similar mind, as they began to teach her Japanese. She progressed quickly in the language, not having much else to do with her time besides explore the library. All the while, even when she began to have a grip on the language, she refused to talk about her past. She claimed amnesia as soon as she could string the words together, saying that she could remember nothing from before the girls had discovered her.
And so the months passed, with Sunset making a new home for herself in the hidden room on Library Island. The Library Exploration Club had provided a bed, lamp, and other creature comforts and necessities, as well as showing her where there was a nearby stream for water and bathing - something that baffled Sunset to no end until the true scope of the library was revealed to her.
Three months into her stay, a dilemma presented itself. “Hey, girl,” Haruna said, adjusting her glasses as she looked at Sunset curiously, “why haven’t you given us your name yet?”
“My name?” Sunset replied, looking up from her book.
“That’s a good point,” the ever-stoic Yue chimed in. “We can’t just keep calling you ‘you’ all the time.”
Sunset frowned, thinking about her Equestrian name. She’d tried to pronounce it a time or two when she was alone, only to be met with frustration and failure. She’d realized quickly that she’d have to come up with a new name for herself. Not that that would be too hard; Equestrian names were composed of common words anyway.
Sunset looked up, smiling at her new friends. “Nichibotsu,” she said. “Hikaru Nichibotsu.”
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An unexpected crossover, but with the given premise I think it can work. Although I do hope you end up doing away with Negima's more... unsavory elements. The plot and world stand well enough on their own without all the ridiculous fanservice things.
As for the chapter... first thing of note is that you mistakenly called Haruna 'Homura' four times. The Japanese is... not especially good, at least in feel to an amateur like me. But you've already addressed that, so moving on.
Most important criticism is this: why would the Library Exploration Club not immediately try to get Sunset out of there? They know very well how dangerous Library Island can be for the inexperienced, I'd think their top priority would be to get the strange girl who doesn't speak Japanese to safety. The fact that she was in an apparently sealed room would raise questions, yes, but I'd think the girls would just assume that there was another way into the room and flag it for later exploration. Just like they'd probably assume that Sunset was some kind of tourist/visitor who must have gotten into the library by accident, or snuck in, or something; obviously she must have been with someone who spoke Japanese (since she clearly didn't) who would want to know where she was. The fact that they instead decided to leave Sunset in there for literal months so they could teach her Japanese is just... absurd. The Headmaster going along with it only makes it worse.
Like, I assume you wanted to delay Sunset seeing the whole of Mahora before she can have it explained to her or something, but this isn't the way to do it.
It's a big hit to my enjoyment of the story, but I'm willing to keep reading since the premise at least is intriguing.
8608926
That's... a good point about Library Island. It would have been at Sunset's insistence, but she wouldn't really be able to insist if she couldn't communicate. I'll have to screen this story more carefully in the future for logic holes like that. Thanks.
Gah! I knew there was something strange when I read that over! I'll get right on fixing her name. Thanks for the catch.
As for the fanservice, it'll still technically be in there, but since the story is told from Sunset's perspective, it'll be a passing comment, if anything. That was the single most annoying part of the manga for me.
Thanks for giving this story a shot, and please keep letting me know what I can do to improve it!
Okay...
(deep breath) DESCRIBE THE MAHO SENSEI NEGIMA! CHARACTERS!!!
Those who are not familiar with Maho Sensei Negima! are not likely to know these character, in your long description, you said that familiarity with the series is not needed... well I can only picture these characters because I am familiar with the series, if I wasn't I wouldn't know who these girls are.
8609668
This point has been brought up to me. I try in later chapters to be a little more descriptive. Thanks for providing feadback, though. Please let me know if you see anything else I can improve on.
Finally I have her name in Japanese for a fan fiction!!!
What translator let you get ENGLISH Japanese translations?I always get katakana...
8710860
...Google translate. It has the Romaji below.
I'm not sure if this is a typo or a pun, but I love it.
9059721
Pun. Definitely a pun.
Thanks for checking this story out! Let me know if there's anything I can do to improve it.
Google Translate works well enough to get the vocabulary correct, but the words aren't exactly what a native speaker, or someone with a reasonable level of competence in a language, would use. But it works well enough for the story.
9089248
Yeah, I've taken 2 semesters of Japanese since, and I kind of cringe at this now.
Thanks for giving this story a read! Let me know what you think, particularly how I can improve.
And this right there says so much on Haruna Saotome... any chances that she has a relative that change gender depending on the water temperature?
9386536
Hm. Interesting idea. But that's another story.
Oh this is going to be fun!
9572458
Welcome to the adventure. I hope you enjoy it.
9615114
I hope you enjoy it!
I'm a little curious as to why you didn't go with 'Sansettoshimā' ( サンセットシマー ) for Sunset's name.?
9700429
Because Equestrian isn't English. Her name would translate to "Sunset Shimmer" but, phonetically, sounds nothing like it. In fact, Equestrian is unpronounceable with a human mouth and human vocal chords. So she had to translate her name directly. And since she's learning Japanese before English, it made no sense to use the English translation.
Thanks for giving this story a chance. I hope you enjoy it!
SunsettoShima? I am just kidding Hikaku is a good name
wait is she can read and write japamese why didnt she write her name out?
10443418
Because her Equestrian name doesn't transliterate well into any Earth language. The syllables are literally unpronounceable with a human mouth. So she had to translate the meaning of her name.
Or
This is going to be a good one.
10543939
Enjoy the read!
Whelp, this has been sitting in my tracking folder for... basically ever. Time to get cracking at it.
10741917
Yay! Hope you enjoy!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
While I disagree with your choice to make Equestrian unpronounceable, I'll still give this a shot.
My favorite character from my favorite cartoon in a crossover with my favorite manga? Dreams do come true!
10984919
It could be that it’s still pronounceable but requires skillful use of vocal range to speak average which would be large time sink
Interesting first chapter so far