Arc 5.2: Chapter 39
I was born in Canterlot, the capital city of Equestria. Well known throughout the nation for its buildings of beautiful marble, reflecting the majestic Canterlot Castle where our ruling princess resides. However, not every building is so constructed. In fact, step off the main roads, and you’ll find buildings of more common stone and wood like you would find in any other city. This is especially true as you descend to the lower levels, where the middle-class and lower-class resided. You’ll occasionally find a prosperous business or government building made of gleaming marble, but most of it is built from wood logged from the forests at the base of the mountain.
Wow! All of the horses look so cute!
Ponies, Springfield. And are you going to gawk at my kind all day, or are you going to listen?
S-sorry, Sunset-san.
Ahem. Anyway, I was born here, in the market district. My parents were well-known bakers, the family bakery passed down for five generations, building its reputation year by year until it was the envy of the city. My family’s pastries weren’t particularly superior, but no-one in Equestria could beat our breads! I hardly grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth, but my younger brother and I never wanted for anything.
“Sunset! Wait up!”
A yellow unicorn filly with a red- and yellow- striped mane grinned over her shoulder as she raced through the streets. “Come on, Sunshine! Daddy should be pulling a batch of cookies out of the oven any minute now!”
“Which is why you need to slow down!” Another unicorn, his coat a paler yellow and his red mane streaked with orange, raced behind her. He lit his horn, a purple aura that matched his eyes springing to life around his sister’s tail and yanking her to a stop with a yelp and causing her to fall back on her rump. “If he’s just pulling them out now, then they’ll still be too hot to eat if we race home.”
The filly Sunset pouted and flicked her tail out of his magic. “But that’s what heat-resistance charms are for!”
The other unicorn, Sunshine, raised an eyebrow. “And have you managed to make that spell affect your whole throat, or just the inside of your mouth?” Sunset’s ears plastered themselves back against her head and Sunshine rolled his eyes. “Honestly, sis. How is it that I’m the younger one, but you’re the one who rushes ahead without thinking all the time?”
“Fillies and colts mature at different rates,” Sunset defended, standing up.
“Sunset, it’s fillies that mature more quickly.”
Sunset pawed at the ground and chuckled sheepishly. “Hehe, oh yeah.”
Sunshine rolled his eyes and walked up to throw a foreleg across Sunset’s withers. “Just try to think a bit before you act, Sunny. And one more thing…”
Sunset turned her head towards him and cocked it curiously. “Yeah? What’s that?”
Sunshine grinned. “Even if we have to wait for the cookies, it’s still a race.”
Before Sunset could process what he’d said, Sunshine took off running again, cackling madly all the while. Sunset shook her head and grinned as she shot after her brother. “Get back here you little twerp!”
“Make me, you big twerp!”
Hehe. You two really get along well, don’t you?
We did, yeah. He was my best friend when I was a kid. We used to play all the time, practice magic together, help each other with homework, the works. He was less than a year younger than me, and we were both incredibly intelligent, so we were always in the same classes together. We both had a certain affinity for fire magic, even before we got our cutie marks. Though I was always better at starting them, and he was always better at putting them out and regulating them. Our parents thought that either of us could take over the bakery some day.
But you decided to become a mage instead?
...that choice… I was going to inherit the bakery. Sunshine and I intended to run it together. But… I took that choice away from us.
What do you mean?
It isn’t pleasant, I’ll warn you now. And parts of it are blurry in my memory. I shared a bedroom with Sunshine, and I would sometimes sneak downstairs to the bakery to practice magic. I’d been working on something that I’d heard rumors about, making fire not by summoning heat from the aether, but by pulling heat from other places and using the cold left behind to make ice. Heh, I had half-formed plans to expand the bakery into making ice-cream as well. But… that didn’t go as planned.
The young Sunset stood in the family bakery, her horn alight, her face screwed up in concentration as she stared at the stone chimney oven that her family had used for generations. “Come on,” she muttered. “Come on. Pull all of that heat into the chimney. The rest of the room isn’t using it, so I’ll use it myself. Just pull it in…”
Turns out I was good at that spell. Really good. I got frustrated because I thought that there was a bit of heat I couldn’t quite catch, since it kept popping up in different parts of the room that I’d already drained. I didn’t realize, at that age, that heat was pouring in from the rest of the house to fill the cold I was making in the kitchen. I wasn’t just sucking the heat out of the kitchen; I was pouring all of the heat from the house into that small, chimney oven.
Sunshine woke up when our room got too cold. He came downstairs to see about lighting a fire to warm up the house.
I beat him to it.
A flash of light. An angry roar. A wash of flames over the young filly as she screamed in terror and pain. The world blurred, everything a swirl of colors and sounds and the sensation of movement. By the time things began to take shape once again, Sunshine and Sunset were outside. Sunshine’s horn was alight, desperately spreading a purple aura over his sister’s burning coat, dousing the fires and leaving patchy fur and horribly blistered skin behind. Sunset squirmed, moaning and crying in pain, a terrible ringing in her ears. Her eyes cracked open. And flew wide.
The two-storey bakery was alight with angry, hungry flames. Every window and door spat fire into the night, threatening the surrounding houses from which more unicorns fled. Sunset stared in horror before suddenly looking around desperately. “M-Mommy? Daddy?” She looked up at her brother. “Sunshine! Where are Mommy and Daddy?!”
Sunshine turned a horrified gaze to the second story. Sunset followed his gaze, staring desperately at her parents’ bedroom. The ringing in her ears began to fade, replaced by the screams of two adult ponies. Even twisted in agony, Sunset recognized the voices.
“NO!” Sunset leapt to her hooves, screaming at the pain that wracked her body. Still, she started running for the door. “MOMMY! DADDY!”
“Sunset! No!” Sunlight tackled his sister to the ground, hating himself as his sister cried out in agony as he agitated her fresh burns. “We can’t! The fire’s spread too far! It’s about to collapse!”
“They’re still in there!” Sunset cried, struggling to throw her brother off despite the pain. "I have to get them out! THEY’RE STILL IN THERE! MOMMY! DADDY!”
“Sunset!” Sunshine lit his horn and grabbed his sister, stepping back from the bakery and pulling her flailing form with him. “We can’t go back in there! Sunset! SUNSET!”
“MOMMY! DADDY! NOOOOOOO!”
The filly’s screams were drowned out in the roar of flames as the building finally gave way and collapsed to the ground. A wave of hot air blasted out, striking Sunset and finally overpowering her. Everything went black.
I was asleep for five days, they told me. I awoke to pain, fear, and sorrow. I had to stay on the IV for another two weeks while they tried to convince me to eat. Sunshine had burns on his hooves, and I couldn't’ stop crying every time I saw the bandages. It took months for me to be released, and we were both sent to a local orphanage. All of our personal possessions had been destroyed in the fire, and Equestrian Law held that we couldn’t access our parents’ assets until we either turned 16 or proved ourselves adults by providing for ourselves. Sunshine and I were still in school, and Sunshine was determined that we should finish our education, though I didn’t really care at the time. So we lived in the orphanage, Sunshine going to school and me staying in bed most of the time.
I couldn’t use my magic, either. Nothing physically prevented me after a time, but my mental scars were even harsher than my physical ones. I associated my magic with destruction and death. Even now, I see magic as a potentially deadly tool, requiring the strictest of control and discipline. Which is why it was so irritating that week when the class kept interrupting my studies.
W-which week?
You didn’t hear about… never mind. Anyway, that’s what I was like. A broken, terrified, heart-shattered filly who lay in her room spiraling into deeper and deeper depression over how I’d let my magic kill my parents. I was like that for a fortnight.
Then, I got a visitor.
The room was small, but cozy. A couch on either side, with a desk against another wall opposite the door. A mulberry unicorn mare with a teal mane sat behind the desk and looked up from her paperwork as a filly walked in.
The filly was in a bad way. She had dark bags under her eyes, her cheeks stained by several weeks of near constant tears. The right side of her face was missing its coat, the flesh raw and red. Much of her body was in a similar condition, with patches of fur sticking out of a few areas of healthy flesh on her back and sides. Her mane and tail were long, but charred at the ends. The only parts of her that were unblemished were the symbols on either flank, the symbol of a red and yellow sun.
Nopony really understands how cutie marks work. The magic that creates them is there and gone so quickly, nopony's ever been able to analyze it. It somehow withstands just about any injury, even intense burns. The magic only fades when the pony dies. It was the only part of my body that didn’t hurt to touch. Unfortunately, cutie marks are also considered a rather intimate part of the body and it’s taboo to touch somepony else’s without their express permission. Sunshine couldn’t hug me, couldn’t even lay a hoof on me to console me. I was miserable.
Cutie marks are an important part of a pony's life. They appear when a pony discovers her destiny, their special talent. The one thing that they do best. We both got our cutie marks that night, Sunshine for saving me from the fire. Me for how I started it. Needless to say, I wasn't quite as ecstatic to get my mark as most fillies.
“You wanted to see me, Matron?” the young Sunset asked.
"Yes, dear," the mare replied, smiling down at her. "We have a very important guest coming to visit today, and they wanted to meet you."
Sunset glared up at the matron. "I'm not letting anyone adopt me," she said, displaying more emotion than her dejected appearance would suggest possible. "I don't care how important they are or what they want from me."
"Only a few weeks after your tragedy? I'd have a few choice words myself for whoever even considered it."
The filly turned around, her eyes going wide. Standing in the doorway behind her, ducking her head to enter through the small frame, was one of the most beautiful and powerful creatures imaginable. The alabaster mare smiled gently down at the filly, her mane of blue, green, and pink swirling around her spiral horn as her wings flared slightly. She wore a small crown of gold, inlaid with a single large amethyst. Her neck was adorned with a matching torc, and her face with a serene smile. Her presence filled the room, making both mare and filly bow.
"P-p-princess Celestia!" the filly squeaked.
Celestia nodded, raising her hoof. "Please, rise. I've been looking forward to meeting you, Sunset Shimmer."
I learned later that the fire department always scans a scene for unusual magic. My spell was unique enough to register, so they called in somepony from the mage corp. That pony saw what I’d done and called in a grand magus to confirm it. He informed the archmage, who informed Celestia. The technique hasn’t been seen in almost a thousand years, and the legendary unicorn who invented it did so after decades of dedicated study. For a filly like me to use such a technique on instinct was baffling, and Celestia saw great potential in me.
She took me under her wing. She offered to take in Sunshine too, but he refused. Too proud to take up the offer of royal treatment because of his sister’s abilities. I insisted on signing over our full inheritance to him in return; I wouldn’t need it with a royal stipend and a career in the elite of the mage corp. Celestia helped me to heal, physically, emotionally, and mentally. She instructed me in meditation, let me see that my magic was mine to control, rather than a force controlling me. She taught me magic, philosophy, and leadership, and ensured that I had the best teachers for everything else. I graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns Summa Cum Laude and went on to excel at, well, basically everything I put my mind to. I was on top of the world. The prized Student of the Sun. I had everything I could ever want.
Or at least, I thought I did.
“Sunset! Could you come in here, please?”
Sunset the grown mare strode confidently through the doors into the throne room. Her coat was unblemished and practically shone in the sunlight. Her mane and tail were full and healthy. A layer of lean muscle flexed beneath her coat and the light smirk on her face oozed confidence. She walked down the red carpet towards Celelstia, who sat on the ground before the dias upon which sat the throne. She smiled proudly down at Sunset as the mare approached and stood before her. “You wanted to see me, Celestia?”
“Indeed I did, my most faithful student.” Celestia hesitated a moment. “There is to be a… change in Equestria, and I wanted you to be the first to know of it.”
Sunset’s ears flicked forward. “What sort of change?” she asked curiously.
“It’d be easier to show you.” Celestia turned and smiled at something behind her back. “Go on, little one.”
A pony stepped out from behind Celestia, nervous, leggy, and blindingly pink. The teenager pawed nervously at the ground and she smiled sheepishly up at Sunset, her pink, purple, and white mane tied back in a ponytail, her bangs almost concealing her horn. Sunset looked the nervous unicorn over curiously, leaning slightly to the side to try to glimpse her cutie mark.
She froze when she saw that the filly had wings.
“Sunset,” Celestia said, her voice overflowing with pride, “this is Mi Amore Cadenza, Equestria’s newest alicorn.” She smiled down at the teenager. “Cadance, this is the Student of the Sun, Sunset Shimmer.”
Cadance blushed and looked away. “I-it’s so nice to meet you, M-Miss Shimmer. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“I’ll… bet you have.” Sunset’s eyes narrowed. “This is the first I’ve heard of you, though.”
Celestia’s smile faded a bit at Sunset’s tone, but Cadance seemed not to notice. “I, um, I wouldn’t expect you to have. I’m just a filly from out in the boonies, after all. Not a famous mage and monster hunter like you.” She looked up again, her face full of nervous admiration. “I-is it true that you defeated Raven Dower the Bleak all by yourself?”
“Mostly. I never would have tracked her down without Abalone.” Sunset puffed out her chest. “But yeah, taking her down was all me.”
Stars filled Cadance’s eyes. “Wow. I’ve heard stories about that battle, even all the way out in Mudpole! I can’t believe I get to meet you face to face! And even live in the same place as you!”
Sunset raised an eyebrow, turning her gaze up to Celestia. “Come again?”
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. “Cadance,” as she insisted ponies call her. The sickeningly sweet Princess of Love. Ponies have the potential to ascend and become alicorns if they fulfill their special talent to the point of fully embodying it. Celestia IS the sun. Cadence IS love.
So, are they goddesses?
Hm. Hard to say. Even I don’t know a lot about an alicorn’s place in cosmology, and I was practically raised by one. What is obvious is that they are immortal and extremely powerful. Even Evangeline at full power wouldn’t have stood a chance against Celestia.
But back to Cadance. She’s where everything went wrong. You see, my life had been perfect. I had power. I had glory. I had Celestia’s approval and affection. But… Cadence made me realize what I didn’t have. She’d ascended. She’d become a being of literally infinite potential. Heck, Celestia officially adopted her as her niece! After one day! And I…
I had served for nearly 20 years in Equestria’s military. Much of my career had been spent dealing with monsters and warlocks of the highest order. Through grit and blood, I worked my flank off until I became a household name throughout Equestria!
It took Cadance three days.
And then I realized that most ponies don’t really care about Starswirl the Bearded. Most ponies don’t care about Sunrise Sparkle or Clover the Clever or Mistmane or any of those other ancient heroes and wizards. History moves on, and only scholars even bother to learn their names and exploits. And that was me. I was going to be forgotten after all my hard work, no matter what I did over the centuries of my life. But this filly, this perfect little Mi Amore Cadenza, was going to be around and known and remembered forever because of one little exploit in her foalhood. She’d be watching over Equestria for millenia to come, pampered and spoiled and not knowing a thing about the struggles of everypony else. While I, who knew these ponies, who cared about these ponies, who had spilt rivers of my own blood to keep these ponies safe was doomed to be forgotten in a few generations!
S-Sunset-san!
...sorry. I… I lost my temper. *sigh* Anyway, where was I?
You, um, you were jealous of Princess Cadance?
...yeah. Though I didn’t realize it for a while. We got along alright at first. Something bugged me about her, but I couldn’t put my hoof on what for months. Meanwhile, she wouldn’t leave me alone. Heh, in retrospect, I’m pretty sure she hero-worshiped me. Ironic. I was jealous of a filly who looked up to me with nothing but admiration. Almost half a year passed before I realized exactly why I was irritated with her all the time.
Things went downhill after that. I no longer strutted through the castle, I skulked. I no longer grinned confidently, I glowered. I threw myself into my studies, abandoning all other projects as I researched alicorns and ascension. Cut off contact with my military comrades. Snapped at any maids or butlers who interrupted my work. ...lost contact with Sunshine. Heh, I was a right terror. My reputation throughout Canterlot plummeted, the great hero Sunset Shimmer replaced with a brooding mage locked up in her room who turned anyone who disturbed her into toads.
...did you ever-
Once. Blueblood the 13th. An obnoxious noble who everyone hated. I think I might have actually redeemed myself a little in the eyes of the staff for that one. But not Celestia. She kept trying to get me to stop. To lighten my studies. To go out and make friends. To catch up with old acquaintances. I ignored her. I shunned Cadance. I dove headfirst into anything and everything that I thought might help, pouring over more and more esoteric works. That’s how I found out about the mirror that links our worlds. Starswirl created it, and he wrote about it being a portal to a strange world full of fantastic wonder. I figured that anything that could impress even Starswirl had to involve magic and power beyond even Celestia.
Eventually though, I hit a brick wall. I’d read every work in the archives that related even tangentially to alicorns. I was desperate for something, anything to let me advance.
That desperation led to a decision.
And that decision broke the camel’s back.
Sunset sat in a dark room, lit by wildly flickering candles, as if the flames wanted desperately to flee. Bookshelves lined the walls, many with iron bars preventing access to their tomes. Said tomes were themselves often chained shut. Others were bound in twisted leather and covered in strange scripts that blurred in Sunset’s memories. Few of the books in the room looked anything shy of evil, and almost every one of those occupied the large table in the center. Sunset flipped through tome after tome, getting more and more frustrated as she went.
“Useless,” she muttered, slamming another book shut. “Mad blood rituals and sacrifices to the Unnamed Horrors. I thought that I’d find at least one uncensored text on legitimate alicorn ascension. This whole thing was a bust. Better get out of here before-”
The door slammed open, almost flying off its hinges.
"SUNSET SHIMMER!"
Sunset leapt out of her seat, staring in shock at the furious alicorn as she stormed in. "C-Celestia? What are you doing awake? How did you..." Her shock turned to anger. "You've been spying on me, haven't you?!"
"And with good reason, it would seem." Celestia strode forward, glaring down at her student. "Dark magic, Sunset? The workings of madponies and criminals? Are you so desperate, so blinded by thoughts of power, that you would stoop to such means?"
"Maybe I am!" Sunset shouted, glaring right back and grinding her teeth. "Maybe if you actually gave me what I deserve, I wouldn't have to go looking for it here!"
"You are not ready for this mantle!" Celestia shouted. "Your actions tonight have only confirmed it! How can you expect to lead Equestria, to stand immortal as a constant force in this world, if you are so rash! Impatient! Unrepentant!"
"Oh that's rich, coming from you!" Sunset sneered. "I just love hearing you lecture about patience you filthy hypocrite!"
"What are you talking about?" Celestia demanded. "I have been patient with you at every turn! I have born every complaint! Every accusation! Every-"
"Everything but your sister."
The room went silent.
If there is one thing I regret, it's that single sentence.
"What do you mean, Sunset?" Celestia asked, her voice dangerously calm. "And I suggest you choose your next words very carefully."
"Or what?" Sunset demanded, unaware or uncaring of the building tension in the room. "Going to BANISH me too? Send me to the moon for a thousand years of solitary confinement? I really hope Luna’s made of a lot stronger stuff than you, or she's not coming back as Nightmare Moon. She'll be coming back a gibbering, mindless vegetable."
"Stop it, Sunset," Celestia whispered.
"Or maybe you're hoping she'll be coherent?" Sunset continued. "Maybe you're hoping she'll come crawling back, begging you to forgive her as she kneels down and licks your hooves. Be nice to have a doormat again, wouldn't it?"
"Be quiet, Sunset!"
"Or maybe you're actually HOPING for Nightmare Moon! Maybe you were hoping that I'd be able to find those mysterious Elements of Harmony - oh yes, I know all about them - and blast her into oblivion. Finish the job you started. Is that it, huh? I was going to be the weapon to complete your throne-grabbing regicide?"
"YOU GO TOO FAR!!!”
The memory froze there, with Sunset staring defiantly up at the mighty Sol Invictus.
Nightmare Moon. Formerly Princess Luna. Celestia’s younger sister and Princess of the Night. She went mad about a thousand years ago. Despaired that nopony appreciated her night like they did Celestia’s day. Celestia was forced to banish her to the moon. By all accounts, it broke her heart. We both said horrible things after that; I’d rather not relive the details. Suffice it to say that she did banish me from the castle. She left me alone to gather my things and leave. On my way up to my room, I remembered the mirror. The portal was open that night. I subdued my guard escort easily and fled, never looking back, determined to use the wonders of this world to ascend, or gain enough power to force Celestia to teach me how to do so.
...Sunset-san, I don’t think-
It was a rash and stupid plan. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on it since, especially since I entered your class and started making friends. ...you tell anyone I said that and I’ll deny it. And probably set you on fire for good measure.
Er, got it.
I’m still determined to ascend. I know it’s my destiny. I can feel it. My role is to be Equestria’s righteous defender for millenia and eons to come. I will become an alicorn and stand as Celestia’s equal.
And Princess Cadance’s?
Pht. Please, Springfield. As if that little waif could ever catch up to me.
*****
Sunset leaned back, breaking the connection as she smirked down at Negi. “I mean come on. You saw me in there staring down the Goddess of the Sun without a shred of fear. Do you really think that simpering teenage love pillow could ever be a match for me? Even if she bested me in raw power, she’d have no idea how to use it.”
“I guess.” Negi looked down. “Nichibotsu-san. I… I honestly don’t know what to think of all of that.”
Sunset shrugged, looking out to the horizon again. “It’s a lot to take in. But I hope you get it now, at least. Why I decided to help you.” She noticed his confused glance out the corner of her eye and shook her head. “I lost my family. First my parents in the fire. Then my brother when I cut contact.” Then Celestia when I… “I understand that pain. That longing. And lest you forget, I was Equestria’s greatest warrior and protector.” She stood up and smirked confidently down at Negi, jabbing herself in the chest with a thumb. “So why on Earth or any world wouldn’t I help a kid reunite with his father?”
*sniff* “Nichi-chan…”
Sunset paled, her confident smirk sinking into a mask of dread and horror. She turned slowly back towards the gazebo, her fears confirmed as she saw Nodoka’s diary out again, her classmates gathered around her. Their expressions were more mixed than they had been to Negi’s memories, as much apprehension and calculation as sorrow, but the sympathy in all of their expressions was palpable.
“...nope.” Sunset took off at a dead sprint, her sobbing classmates racing right behind her. “Nope nope nope nope nope! I do NOT need a group hug!”
“Nichi-chaaaaan!!!”
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[It took Cadance three days.]
Celestia adopted her but didn't adopt Sunset... ouch.
Was not expecting that ending but it was perfect to make me laugh after all that depressing backstory being shared.
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Eh, she's a shounen anime protagonist; she'll be fine.
10539494
Sunset's relationship status with Celestia was "it's complicated" even before Cadance.
Her relationship status with Equestria, however, went from "lifetime love" to "quick fling" in a matter of moments.
Well, at last Sunset is able to admit that she did go too far, I wonder the reaction of everyone watching the tale and what Evangeline could think of Sunset comment of "Stronger that Evangeline at full power"
10539858
Most everyone else: impressed but not really having context.
Those in the know: extremely impressed and more than a little scared.
Evangeline: "Pht. Yeah right."
Reality: ...
"Sister? There appears to be a dark stain upon the ground."
"Yes, Luna. It used to be a vampire."
"Ah. A pity. It has been some time since last we had the opportunity to slay a vampire."
"You can get the next one."
"My thanks."
10539858
Celestia controls the sun. Every vampire will die if they get sent to the sun. And yes, even canon Celestia should be able to do that.
10539569
This is a bakery that had unicorns on it, who had young kids too. Is extremely irresponsible that they didn't fireproof the whole thing and that the place was apparently so badly built it had no emergency exits or at least enough windows to jump off.
Worse, the bakery has been around for a long time, yet apparently it was not complying the regulations?
Worse this was in Canterlot, that must have accidents with young unicorns using magic all the freaking time! Ir just screams "We could have avoid this!" really badly.
More so with Celestia being able to postcog the incident hut apparently having fire hazard regulations so bad that a bakery like that was allowed to stay open.
Even more so with Celestia being sun and fire themed.
One would think Celestia should have taken precautions against fire and fire magic all over the city ages ago.
Now, that would be a great angle to see things, blame Celestia because not only she was the ruler of the country, it was the city were she lives in were a tragedy that could have been easily avoided happened with something that Celestia knows really well how dangerous it is.
Worse, what does Celestia do with said kid those family died because she didn't enforce stronger fire regulations? She makes her a child soldier! She makes her risk her life for her and for Equestria for twenty years and only remembers she exists when she needs someone to train Cadance.
Dammit Celestia you had TWENTY YEARS with Sunset yet you failed to see how much you screwed up until it was right in your face.
This is way much worse than a teen student just running away after you showed her something you should not have, like in canon.
Celestia defeat Evangeline? I dunno. Aside from moving the Sun, Celestia never really does much. She got defeated by Chrysalis for one.
It's really good that this chapter is entirely not transcribed from the manga. This story, as well written as it is, suffers from a distinct shortage of original content. I would have stopped reading it partway through if it hadn't reminded me, chapter by chapter, how much I loved the manga, at least before it turned into Negi Ball Z.
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I actually enjoyed Negima a lot more as it transitioned to more and more crazy shonen action. It's what the author wanted to do the whole time, and the earlier stuff was basically just disguising the series as a normal harem so he could sneak the action in. Of course, it helps that his artstyle is amazing for action.
10539903
First of all, you'd need to define "fireproofing." If you're talking about magic, such spells would have to have been either worked into the materials as the bakery was being built (prohibitively expensive) or renewed on a near-daily basis (exhausting in the extreme). And it wouldn't make much sense to do that for the whole house anyway, just the bakery.
Unfortunately, even if the bakery had been so warded, Sunset's explosion wasn't confined there. The whole house was overtaken in moments. Her parents were asleep. Emergency exits don't do much when you awaken to your legs being literally on fire.
No OSHA in Equestria; such things tend not to develop until you get a massive industrial revolution and a ruling class that cares more about profit than about the safety of its workers. Ponies are far more concerned for each others' safety than humans. And besides, and again, not much you can do when the entire building lights on fire almost all at once.
Again, most unicorn foals don't have enough raw power to light a whole building on fire.
Celestia hasn't had need to use her extensive fire magic in centuries. Even when she did, her battle with Nightmare Moon is the only time she's ever had to use it anywhere near her place of residence. Why would she be paranoid about making the entire city "fireproof" if she doesn't anticipate ever having to use her firepower there?
Wow. You're reading a lot into this that just isn't there. Celestia didn't force Sunset into anything. Sunset chose the military path. And Sunset explained back in the Kyoto Arc that ponies mature quickly and enter the military and work force young. "Child soldier" in Equestria is only a slight exaggeration; teenage soldier is the norm for new recruits and young officers. And I've mentioned before in the story that it was Celestia that pulled Sunset off the front lines and into R&D for her last few years, much to Sunset's irritation. I've portrayed their relationship as having been very close throughout both this story and this chapter.
You seem determined to make Celestia out to be a villain, which I really don't understand here.
10539943
Yeah, that's something I've been struggling with. I hope to move more towards original content and shaking things up with Mahorafest and the Magical World. Thank you for continuing to read.
10539995
Agreed.
10539910
If she went all-out. I'm partial to the "Chrysalis got a lucky shot in because Celestia was holding back and didn't expect Chrysalis to be so strong" theory.
10540018
The problem is that magical surges on the level of the one Twilight Sparkle had are extremely rare. That one only happened due to the Sonic Rainbow.
Heck the communist pony is more powerful than Alicorn Twilight and didn't have a magical surge like, ever, otherwise she would have destroyed that whole town as a little filly.
Granted Rarity had one before the Rainbow but all it did was drag her to a bunch of gems inside a stone.
Your explanation needs both of Sunset parents to sleep like logs, don't wake up with the smell of smoke and the noise of two kids yelling at the top of their lugs to do nothing to wake them.
I have been in house fires and in a explosion caused by a house fire. Is possible to hear nothing during the explosion but not to ignore the yelling unless you are deaf.
I could believe one of them to be a heavy sleeper or to take sleeping pills but both of them? They have a job that requires to wake up like at 4 or 5 AM in the morning!
Also, again, twenty years. Celestia complete mishandled Sunset, if she didn't want her in the military she should just have never allow her to join, not to pull her off after she had been there a while. Before she joined it would have been quite easy to scare her away out the job.
After she had been defending Equestria for years? It was just too late.
Heck Sunset probably had friends and allies there, then Celestia decides for her heck of it to move Sunset to another job that Sunset didn't want.
Then guess what Sunset? Here is your replacement that I adopted in just three days and unlike you she is an Alicorn so she won't die and get old!
10540115
Again, almost the entire house caught on fire at once. Sunrise opens the door. Sunset's spell goes off. Fire explodes through the bakery and up the hallway behind Sunrise to engulf the rest of the house. The fire reached their parents in seconds.
And again, Sunset CHOSE the military. Out of all available options. What grounds did Celestia have to deny her, marked as an adult as she was? Sunset was her student after all, not her daughter. And yes, Celestia eventually pulled her out of an active combat position; when you're Commander in Chief, you get to pull some strings to station those you care about nearby and safer.
As for Cadance being Sunset's "replacement," you're pulling that out of Sunset's anger and your own imagination alone. You've seen nothing in Celestia's actions to paint her motives in that light. In fact, Celestia's responces in her confrontation with Sunset show that she planned for Sunset to eventually ascend.
Again, you seem to want to blame Celestia for everything. And I get it. I've read Sunset Reset and similar fics that explore how Celestia messed up raising Sunset. But THIS is not THAT backstory! This is a backstory where Celestia and Sunset got along well until Cadance arrived and Sunset's jealousy, impatience, and anger tore at their relationship until she pushed too far. And yes, Celestia responded with anger. She was blindsided by a cruel attack from someone she trusted and loved; who wouldn't be angry?
*giggles* I saw the classmates reading along with Sunset's story the moment she began to tell it lol. This was a wonderful chapter and I look forward to more!
10540429
Sunset's classmates, "What girl doesn't want to hug a cute unicorn pony?"
Sunset, "Now they get over their body shyness, just in time to kill me under a cuddle pile."
10540807
Lol. Imagine if she actually managed to transform into her unicorn form. The cuddles and scritches would never end!
10540024
Personally I lean more towards the theory that Chrysalis managed to use enough power that in order to beet her Celestia would have had to use enough power that her counter would have taken out not only chrysalis, but a good portion of Canterlot as well.
Not bad. Well sunset is not guiltless in this mess, she emits that her self. Celestia is far from faultless. Many things are different but to me at it's core this is Luna and nightmare moon all over again. Sunset wasn't greedy or lusting for power, she was afraid. Afraid of being forgotten. Afraid that every thing she ever worked for was for not. Above all afraid that she would not be able to protect those she cares about. Those she fought beside. Those she spent twenty years working to protect at the risk of her life. And like with luna instead of taking to her about it and solving the issue Celestia just sits back, try's giving a few suggested, and lets sunset stew in her dark emotions. Well not a villain, Celestia is far from the hero in this tale.
10541012
Yeah, I feel this versions of both Sunset and Celestia and their backstory are pretty well thought and fit this story nicely.
10541012
Celestia: Hm. Laissez Faire works well for ruling the nation. So it must also work well in relationships!
Literally Everyone Else:
Yes, you do. And deserve it.
10544976
As a consoling gesture, or as a punishment for past poor behavior?
10545196
Yes.
I don't think Sunset's gotten the point...yet. Hopefully she will eventually.
SUNSET!! How could you forgot about that book and a hoard of nosy Classmates!?!?
10549668
She thought they'd be distracted by their partying.
Okay, I finally took the time to read through this batch. Kinda forgot to comment as I went along but all in all, I loved these. Sunset's approach to teach the girls is a rather nice one. Tough Love, but far from Eva's level, but also surprisingly insightful, as expected from someone who has had much time to temper their raw talent with hardwork and training.
But the backstory... I think this is my favourite Sunset backstory yet. The pain, the emotions, and the eventual breakdown... There is no clear wrong individual in this, just a building well of mistakes and misconstrued motivations, actions and desires. And Sunset's drive for ascension is really natural and tragically understandable here. Especially since at heart she remains well-intentioned, just having grown very abrasive. That last fight though...
Thanks for ending the way you did though. We really needed that shot of levity to lift the weight in the room. And it was also very expected. From she started I expected the rest of the girls to be spying. They are never gonna forget how cute she is too. Darn Dairy and it's illustrations XD Sunset's plan to try and stay all edgy and aloof really isn't working out. (Also, I admit I still can't remember her Japanese name XD)
Ah! I just got it, Sunset is kinda like the Wolverin or the Batman (in certain interpretations) of the group. Super experienced, seems (or tries to seem) unapproachable, but is really one of the Mom/Dad friends who while amused by the shenanigans and problems, still does want to take care of them all. While also furthering her own agenda. In a way, she's a more relatable, tone down on the evil, and at-their-skill level Eva. With an ACTUAL reason to work with them.
10550410
You know, most of the time I go to my comments section looking for ways to improve. But it's really nice to see comments like this which tell me that I did something right. Thank you so much, and I hope this story continues to entertain.
So much for your precious "Queen Bitch" reputation Sunny!
10565143
true!
Hmm, I just completed a read through of this. It's been a long time since I read Negima, so this has been an enjoyable refresher. Sunset is a great character for crossovers for obvious reasons, and this is a good choice in setting.
One downside of it though is its ensemble cast. I think I would have appreciated a deeper dive into her budding friendship with the library girls through the story rather than branching out to a wider spectrum of the class. It would certainly make her crush on Nodoka less of an informed characteristic. I do recall Yue developed magical talent in cannon, so I appreciate the early start for her here.
Otherwise, the story beats are enjoyable, if perhaps a little too skimmed over thanks to the power of fanfic. I'm less sold on Sunset's backstory. I don't see yet why she needs a little brother when someone cannon could fill that role well enough (if it even needs filling), probably as found family. Play around with the ages a bit, and you could have probably even snuck Twilight in there. Other than that, the rest of her background is solid. I've seen similar tragedies set up for her. I'm not entirely sure Sunset needs one as motivation, but it works.
On another note, I miss Chisame. I do love Eva, though, and she's gotten a lot of screen time, so I guess I'll live.
Oh, and I really hope Sunset 1, gets to become the best her she can be and thus ascend and go home, and 2, doesn't fall into the Negi harem. It doesn't seem like she will, but Negi has deep, dark magic about him, and they're bonding.
10541012
To be fair to Sunset, Celestial adopting Cadence as niece while she didn’t adopted Sunset likely was one of the most insulting things from her POV, and it make sense, since it’s could be seen as than she loved Cadence more than she loved Sunset.
10539494
Exactly.