Despite being a mute, Vinyl was pretty confident about her new life in Canterlot High, until she met this mysterious cellist...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Octavia is so sheltered. I really worry her parents are gonna be a REAL problem later on. But with friends like Lyra, Bon Bon, and Vinyl, I am optimistic that she will end up ok!
I'm really feeling this!
8343576
Haha thank you for your comment!
They are gonna be a problem, more to come later. ^^
Very nice job with this chapter. (Like all the others :) Liking the story development and the slow, I repeat, SLOW. Progress of Tavi starting to have a regular human (pony-human? Eqg gives me a headache at times lol) teenager.
Looking forward to more chapters to come.
Yours truly,
D.s
Tavi's screwed. Vinyl's gonna blow the poor girl's freaking eardrums out.
Not too bad so far, I'll continue this later. I do have to mention that while Vinyl and Lyra are characterized pretty well, I have to say that Octavia is put as a little too ignorant of everything. I can get the way she talks, restrictions put on her, but assuming she keeps the phone, you're going to have her keep something almost a complete stranger gave her (and that kind of contradicts what you've set her character up like). Now, I could be predicting wrong and I'll correct my statement later on if it is wrong. I would also work on spacing your paragraphs more, maybe go through the story real quick and tweak everything. Nonetheless, not too bad of a story so far. I've got plenty left to read, so I'll withhold a legitimate opinion till I catch up.