Problem(atic) Solvers

by Aura_Knight

In Which Discord and Angel Make A Series of Increasingly Bad Decisions

There were only several things that Angel Bunny hated more than his owner’s substitute caretaker. Opalescence, the evil cat that the fashionista Rarity owned being a major one. Others including not having the perfect salad for lunch, not being asleep by nine sharp, and his owner being scared or upset. So far, two of those things had gone wrong, and it would be a miracle if he didn’t have to deal with the cat and that he would get to be asleep by nine at this point.

It was not to say, however, that Angel Bunny did not think the draconequus caretaker had no upside. There was one extremely important thing that they two shared in common, and it was that they were discussing, while Fluttershy cried in her bed upstairs.

“Now, can you explain to me again, slowly this time, what exactly happened and why Fluttershy is upstairs crying?” Discord asked the angry rabbit, receiving a nod in response. “Alright then, you may begin.”

Angel began to pantomime the last hour out, starting with his sleeping in until eleven twenty AM. Fluttershy had not been there to wake him, and he had no idea where she had gone. He looked left and right, running around the room and pretending to search for the usually shy yellow pegasus, looking out the window, and glaring at the sun as he noticed it was already close to two. No, he was not going to be in bed by nine.

“So, Fluttershy was not home when you got up late, and you ran around looking for her?”

Angel nodded, and then sat next to the door, tapping his foot and miming looking at a watch on his wrist. He looked at the door, and then jumped backwards, before running to it and, pretending to be Fluttershy, he ran from the door towards the stairs head down.

“And then, after about an hour, Fluttershy came running in and ran straight to her room?” Another nod, and Discord rubbed his chin. “That would be when she messaged me, and told me to get over here and take care of you and the others.”

Discord slithered through the air and over to the laptop sitting on the table, but Angel beat him to it, jumping up onto the shut machine and shaking his head. “Oh come on now, Fluttershy usually uses her hoofheld, but I know this thing is logged in. We’re going to find out if she got any messages that would explain why she was gone or why she came running back upset.”

Angel shook his head again, crossing his arms and attempting to hunker down and hold the top of the laptop shut. Discord rolled his eyes, striking the ogre in tomorrow afternoon’s O&O game for 3 plus the 2d6 his eyes had become damage, and opened the laptop up, Angel tumbling off onto his back on the floor.

“Let’s see here, what emails do we have? Any PMs from her usual websites? There’s got to be some hints on here-- Aha! I think I have a few leads now.”

Angel glared up at Discord, standing and pantomiming out another question. “Yes, I made sure they were messages in our universe first.” Discord looked at the computer, and then blinked, clearing his throat. “Alright, no, you were actually right, rabbit. One of these isn’t ours. Good news though, another world’s Fluttershy is going out with Soarin of the Wonderbolts!”

Angel facepalmed, and began to ask another question with his hand movements, before a bolt of Discord’s magic struck him. “What the hay did you do?” Angel coughed out, in a squeaky, teenage colt’s voice. “Wait, why can I talk?”

“It’s much easier to speak to you when I don’t actually have to stare at you the entire time to translate for myself and the audience,” Discord explained, scrolling through an email.

“You could have done that sooner then, couldn’t you?” Angel grumbled, working his jaw. “I would have appreciated being able to speak out what happened instead of running in circles like I usually have to.”

Discord chuckled, looking down at the rabbit. “I’m sorry, but I had to do it then. Much like Twilight Sparkle, I only get power ups as the plot demands it,” Discord began to explain to Angel. “Unlike Twilight Sparkle, whose power ups have given her enough strength she could very well destroy Equestria and rebuild it in her image, I got the ability to make an annoying and rude rabbit talk.”

“I’ll give you a reason to call me rude if you say that again,” Angel threatened, causing Discord to laugh. “I mean it.”

“I know you do, and that’s what makes it so hilarious!” Discord picked Angel up, and began to pet him. “You’re the most fun creature in Ponyville, and you are just so adorable when you get angry. It must be that squeaky voice.”

Angel dragged his paws down his face, sighing outwardly while he seethed with anger. “If Fluttershy wouldn’t get so angry for the window, you would be out it right now.”

“Oh, please do keep threatening the Spirit of Chaos! It might give me another ability that could be more useful to our situation.” Discord began reading through the email again, humming and aha-ing as he did so. “Yes, this is our letter. Somepony asked Fluttershy to meet them in front of the Apple stall in town at eight. No way to trace it either.” Discord closed the laptop and pushed it away, getting up. “Come along then, let’s go see if whoever was ponying it can tell us what went down.”

Angel squirmed out of Discord’s grasp, and jumped to the floor. “We can’t just leave Fluttershy alone. You should understand that.”

Discord sighed. “You’re right.” He began to pace quickly, moving back and forth. “Hm. I want both of us there though. I can’t just send you on your own, and I have promised to not hurt any ponies. So I need you to be there if I go.” Discord’s eyes sparkled, and he grinned. “For my next trick, I will pull a pony out of your fur, Angel.”

Before Angel could ask what that meant, Discord reached down, his claw going deep into Angel’s fur, and pulled an azure pony out in one quick motion, carrying a laptop of her own. “Trixie!”

Trixie blinked, spinning in midair and attempting to take in her surroundings as she held her laptop close to her chest. “Who dares to disturb Trixie during her downtime?” Her eyes fell onto Discord, and glared. “Oh. It’s just you.”

Discord dropped her onto the floor, next to Angel, whom was attempting to reach into his fur as well, only finding his skin past the small amount of white fluff he had. “I need to call in one of the favors you owe me, Trixie.”

“Trixie was busy. You could have asked her first.” She sighed, knowing to not argue with Discord, now that she was already next to him. “What do you need Trixie to do?”

“Angel and I are going to go find out why Fluttershy is crying. You are going to stay here and take care of the animals, and make sure Fluttershy has everything she needs.”

“Is that all? Trixie thought your first need for her would be a big adventure, not some babysitting.”

“That might be tomorrow during game night. I already preemptively struck the ogre, and I will need your rogue to explain to the others how I did that when she makes her appearance.”

She sighed. “Trixie will not count that as one of your requests. But expect her to grumble about it in character for several minutes.”

“I’d ask which changeling thought they could replace you if you didn’t,” Discord replied. “One time, Thorax tried. He couldn’t keep it up for a minute, he was laughing at himself so hard.”

“Trixie will pretend you did not tell her that.”

Discord picked Angel up, and went to the door. “If Fluttershy says one bad thing about how you treat her today, things will go poorly your next show! Toodeloo!”

Trixie grumbled again, taking a seat on the couch as Discord and Angel left, setting her laptop up and opening it. “Now, where was my game left at… ah, yes! Prepare to meet your demise, Princess Platinum! Trixie will be the new queen!”

---

Discord made a quick pace along the path from Fluttershy’s cottage, past Sweet Apple Aces, and into Ponyville proper. “Apple stall’s usually set up near Town Hall,” Angel informed him.

“Thanks,” Discord replied sarcastically. “I had no idea that a stall would be set up in the zone that the mayor officially dedicated for stalls to be put up in.”

Angel shrugged. “I don’t see you wandering around Ponyville at all, I figured you might not know.”

“While you showing concern for me is concerning to me," Discord made sure to emphasize the for and to, "I am quite capable of navigating a small town like this. I’d have found the Apple stall almost entirely by accident just going down one of the four streets this town has.”

“Can we go back home? I’d like to throw you through that window now.”

“While I would love to see you try, no. We’re already here.”

Discord paused just a few steps away from the Apple family apple stall, a yellow earth pony mare working it. “Apples! Get your Apple family apples here! We’re almost out!” She paused her crying out at passerby as Discord and Angel approached. “Oh? An’ what do Ah have the pleasure of dealing with ya for today, Discord? Fluttershy need something?”

“Apple Bloom, it’s great to see you taking up the family business.” Discord smirked, as the young teen frowned. “While I am here for a reason pertaining to Fluttershy, it’s not that we need apples.”

“I could go for an apple,” Angel said. “Your salad making skills are nearly as awful as Pinkie Pie.”

Apple Bloom blinked. “Discord, did Angel Bunny just speak?”

“Don’t worry about it Apple Bloom. If he abuses it too much he’ll be back to demanding attention and a translation to speak.” Discord picked an apple up, and sat down on it, floating in midair. “Now, have you been running the stall all morning?”

She nodded. “AJ and Mac have ta keep the harvest going, and Granny’s too old ta do this. An’ as ya can tell, Ah’m pretty good.” She motioned to how the apple cart was almost completely devoid of apples. “All it takes is some charm.”

Discord rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Well, then you wouldn’t happen to have seen Fluttershy near here at eight, would you?”

“As a matter of fact, Ah did!” Apple Bloom smiled. “She was looking right nervous, but Ah was running the stall so Ah couldn’t talk ta her. Then she looked at her fancy tech doohickey and took off towards the Carousel Boutique.”

“Well, it must have been a text message then,” Angel mused. “Which means we need to go see–” here he shuddered, and gagged slightly, “– Rarity. I hope that evil cat of hers isn’t around.”

Discord glared at Angel. “I gave you the ability to speak, not decide where we are going next. We should just see if anyone saw her after she left Rarity’s place, that way we don’t need to deal with the Countess of Clothing ourselves.”

Apple Bloom smirked at the two. “What, yer both afraid of miss Rarity? That’s a mighty good thing ta know. Figure Ah could pass that knowledge around if ya'll don't confront yer fears.”

Both draconequus and rabbit turned to glare at the chuckling earth pony. “Fine, we’ll go talk to Rarity!” Discord threw his claw and paw into the air, catching them both on the wrong arm afterwards. “I can’t believe we’re going to get blackmailed into doing it by Apple Bloom of all ponies, but whatever.” Discord snapped his claw, Angel appearing on his head. “Let’s go.”

Apple Bloom waved the two grumps off, her smirk growing as a light brown stallion approached the cart. “Time Turner! Ya got here just in time, we almost ran out of apples.”

---

There was nothing that Discord and Angel Bunny feared. Every thing in the world could be solved with a bit of chaotic magic, or by tackling it viciously, after all. That is why they were both certainly not trembling on their paws and hooves as they stood in front of the Carousel Boutique.

“You go inside, I’ll wait out here,” Angel said, hopping off of Discord and hiding in a bush outside the store. “I totally believe in you!”

Discord snapped his claws again, the rabbit appearing again on his head. “No. We’re facing this monster together.” He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and began to push forward to enter, the door jingling happily as he did so. “May Luna have mercy on our souls.”

“Just a minute!” a regal voice sung out as they entered the store. “Oh, who could be here at this ho–” the white unicorn paused, mouth agape as she took in the fact that Discord and Angel Bunny just walked into her store.

“Hello, Rarity. Listen, we’re just here for–”

“Ahaaaahaaaahaaaa!” was the best way to write the noise that escaped Rarity’s mouth and cut Discord off. “Oh this is simply perfect! Fluttershy has been trying to get you both to come by, and I never thought she would be able to.” She quickly ran to them, and began measuring them both at the same time, Angel gripped by her magic and floating in the air with his measuring tape. “I already have something ready for you both, but I must simply make sure my measurements were correct.”

“Listen, Rarity, no, we’re not here for–”

“This is just too much! Please, the two of you must simply stay here. I will be back down in just a minute.” Rarity ran off, letting Angel fall to the floor and leaving the two to look at each other, certainly not shaking in fear again.

“We need to leave now,” Angel said in a quiet whisper. “You were right, this was a mistake.”

“We can’t leave now. We have no excuse, and I do not run from anything.” Discord eyed the stairwell that Rarity had disappeared up cautiously, several sounds echoing down from it. “Perhaps there are first times for everything.”

Before either could make a bolt for the door, Rarity came back down, carrying two boxes in her magic. “Now, I would love for you both to model these right away, so I can know what I need to do to make them look amazing.” She set the boxes on the floor in front of them, grinning widely as she did so. “Now, go ahead.”

“Rarity, we simply can’t. There’s something we are in the middle of doing and–”

“Nonsense!” Rarity cut him off, yet again. “Please, you simply must. Whatever it is can wait, I am sure. After all, the fashion world will not want to wait after they see what I have designed for you. Everypony will be bandwagoning behind me! I will be leading a fashion revolution!” Rarity cackled madly, Discord and Angel exchanging glances. It took her several seconds to clam down, after which she coughed, blushing a bit. "The two of you will of course get my outfits for free."

“Hey, Rarity? I think your mane is sort of doing a thing,” Discord said, noticing a single stray hair out of place from her fit of laughter.

Rarity’s eyes widened, as she looked up and noticed the single hair out of place. “No! I must fix this!” She took off for the stairs again. “Do not go anywhere, I will only take a moment!”

“Now!” Angel hissed. “Get us out of here, please.”

Discord chewed his lip. “We still don’t know what happened here with Fluttershy, Angel. I can’t go without another lead, and I won’t just let Fluttershy cry without being avenged. But I don’t think Rarity is going to let us go freely. Maybe...” Discord trailed off, then his eyes widened. “I have it.”

Angel shot a glance towards the stairwell, hearing frustrated sobs coming from up it. “Well, whatever your plan is, I doubt she’s going to take that long.”

Discord smiled. “I’m already working on it, rabbit.” Angel looked up to stare at Discord, and noticed that he was not that far up. In fact, he was growing smaller, and more pony shaped.

“What are you–” Angel paused, as he noticed Discord growing a long pink mane, and a pink tail growing as well. “You can’t be serious.”

Discord grinned more, swishing his tail as his fur took on a yellow sheen, his wings turning into pegasus ones, and instead of his claws and paws, he just had four hooves. “If Rarity won’t let you and I go, maybe she’ll let Fluttershy drag you out,” he responded, his voice matching Fluttershy’s almost perfectly.

“Let me guess, something something ‘plot relevant power up’?”

Discord laughed, as Fluttershy-ly as possible. “Actually no, I could always do this. Though I will say, being friends with Thorax has improved my ability tremendously.” He pulled a compact off of one of Rarity’s shelves with his magic, opening it and making sure his eyes were cyan, and not his usual crimson. “I’m saving your hide, the least you can do is act thankful.”

“How am I supposed to be thankful knowing you could be my owner at any moment, and ruining her life more?”

Discord shut the compact with a snap, glaring down at the rabbit. “I do not ruin my friends lives. now hurry up, and get on my back or something.”

Angel sighed, hopping up onto his back, and then to his head. “You even feel like her.”

“Changeling magic is a wonderful thing to accent my own. If you weren’t, you know, a non-magical species, I might have even offered to teach you.”

“I’m sorry dears, I simply had to take care of that,” Rarity said, dragging the two’s attention towards the stairs, Rarity looking not at all different minus the one displaced hair now being in its correct spot. “Oh, Fluttershy, you’re back!” She said, looking around and not spotting the draconequus she was searching for. “Where did Discord go?”

“Uhm, I’m sorry, Rarity,” Discord replied, trying to keep to Fluttershy’s cadence without slipping. “I sent him home, and need to take Angel too. They’ve both been very bad.”

Rarity sighed, lifting the boxes that were at his hooves up and back behind the counter. “I was wondering why they had come in on their own. Were they planning something stupid?”

Discord looked up at Angel on his head, who glanced back down and blew a raspberry at him. “Yes. They were trying to figure out where I had been today, for some reason.”

Rarity smiled. “Pinkie told me that your bill was paid for when she was over delivering the snacks I ordered for my sister’s sleepover tonight. You apparently forgot to do that, with you running out so fast.”

Discord and Angel’s eyes both widened. “Well, uhm, thank you, but I should go over and apologize to her before I head home then.”

“Alright dear,” Rarity answered with a polite grin. “Do give her my regards again. And please, send Discord back soon. I must get him into this tuxedo before the next Gala. His was nice, but it needed the Rarity treatment.”

“I will, Rarity.” Discord turned, and quickly carrying himself and Angel to the exit, the door once again jingling happily.

Rarity tapped a hoof to her chin as she began walking back to the back of the store she had originally came from. “I never did hear the door open for Fluttershy. So how did she get in here?”

---

“This plan of yours is downright insane,” Angel muttered as he rode on Discord’s head to Sugarcube Corner, the sun already coming close to setting.

“Trust me, my bratty friend. I am a master of disguise.” Discord batted his eyes at a group of passing ponies, causing them to stop dead in their tracks, and look back at Discord. He lifted his shoulders up in time with each of his next three words. “Turtle. Turtle. Turtle.”

He batted his eyes again afterwards and one of the poor mares passed out, the other two beginning to run around screaming, “The horror! Fluttershy’s acting strange! The end is neigh!”

Discord and Angel watched as the panicked ponies ran, Angel glaring downwards from his head perch at Discord. “Now we have this stallion thing and that to clean up for Fluttershy.”

“Pshaw!” Discord exclaimed. “That flower trio freak out over every little thing. They solve themselves out sooner or later.”

“Just know I am keeping an eye on you,” Angel said, as menacingly as his squeaky voice could. “And if worst comes to worst, I will throw you under the bus.”

“Where’s that confidence you had in me to handle dealing with Rarity on my own?” Discord asked. “Don’t tell me that was just to try and get out of it yourself!”

“Alright, no, throwing you out the window and under an actual bus now.”

“I will await the day you grow strong enough to actually do that. You couldn’t even lift me up right now, and I’m freaking Fluttershy.”

“Window, bus, then moon!”

“Sure thing, shortstuff.” Discord rolled his eyes, pausing them as he saw a blue blur dashing through the sky, aimed directly at him. “Oh for the love of–”

Angel jumped off and to the side, as Rainbow Dash crashed straight into Discord, the two tumbling a few feet. Dash picked herself off the floor first, shaking her head, and then looking down. “Ohmigosh, Fluttershy! I’m so sorry!” She picked the dazed Discord up, dusting him off. “I was coming in for a landing, but then I saw you, and I tried to slow down while speeding up to get to you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Discord stated plainly, Angel coming over and jumping back up onto his perch. “You slowed down but sped up?”

“Well, I had something super important to say. I’m sorry I couldn’t help.”

Discord stared at her. “Come again?”

“I said I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help. This morning?”

Discord coughed. “Oh. Uh, it’s fine?”

Dash snorted. “Listen, you don’t have to sugarcoat it. I screwed up. Big time. I tried to get there and help, but by the time I was there you were already gone.”

“Really, no, it’s fine.” Discord was completely befuddled by the pegasus pony in front of him. What could Dash be apologizing so much for, that she would tackle Fluttershy of all ponies into the ground? Was it involved with why she had been crying?

“I mean, if you say so, I’ll believe it. But really, I saw how Opal clawed out at you. She didn’t gash you, right? I could have gotten that stupid cat out of the tree if she wasn't Rarity's.”

“What.” There was no emotion, or even an attempt at it in Discord’s voice.

“By the time I was close enough to check on you and ask if you needed help, you were already headed in to the Carousel Boutique, and you could not pay me any amount of bits or bribe me with a pre-release copy of the new Daring Do to get me to go in there.”

Discord facehoofed, and Angel facepalmed. “Well,” Discord replied through grit teeth. “It’s the thought that counts I guess?”

Dash smiled wide. “Oh man, thank you for saying that! I was really worried, but, like, I was sure Rarity would help. Where were you headed?”

The sudden change in conversation again gave Discord pause. “Uh, I was going to go to Sugarcube Corner.”

Dash gave him a shove towards said building, only a few hoofsteps away. “Well don’t let me keep you then, Fluttershy! See ya!” Rainbow quickly blasted back into the sky, kicking up dust and causing Angel and Discord to cough.

“That mare is more confusing than Pinkie Pie, I swear,” Discord said, trying to clear his throat of the dust. “What was the point of that at all?”

Angel glared up at the sky, in the direction Dash had taken off, plotting revenge for tackling Fluttershy to the ground, even if it was actually Discord. “I have no idea. But I really need food, and maybe something hard to drink. Let’s get inside and order something.”

---

Discord tapped a hoof on the table as he boredly watched Angel, sitting on top of the booth table, eat a rather large carrot cake. “Are you really going to eat that entire thing before we can leave?”

Angel paused and swallowed the bite of cake, smiling at the annoyed draconequus. “You wanted to talk to Pinkie and see what she knows. You have to wait until she’s back anyways.”

“Angel Bunny is right, Fluttershy!” Both jumped at the sudden appearance of the pink earth pony, sitting on the inside of the booth, next to Discord. “You did want to talk first, and now I’m done baking and here to talk!”

Discord and Angel exchanged a confused glance, Angel shrugging and motioning for Discord to talk while he ate. “Well, yes, I wanted to ask you something Pinkie.”

“If it’s about your bill, it’s totally okay! I paid for it, and I’m also paying for this one!” Pinkie Pie set a large strawberry crepe with whipped cream in front of Discord. “I felt really bad, and started cooking that up to take over to your house, but I’m glad you came back so you could eat it here!”

Discord eyed the treat in front of him. He was a bit peckish, but it was a gift for Fluttershy. He looked up at Pinkie, staring expectantly at him, and shook his head, taking a large bite of it. And then another. By the fourth, the entire thing was gone. “That was delicious, Pinkie,” Discord said to her, genuinely surprised by the quality and how tasty it was.

Pinkie grinned, shaking in her seat. “I made it for you. And since I know exactly what you like, it was easy to do.”

Discord blinked. His transformation ability seemed to be much more full than a changeling’s, if that tasted to him exactly how Fluttershy would have tasted it. That required further testing later. “Well thank you, Pinkie.”

“So if that was all then, I’ll let the two of you get going. I don’t want to delay you any more than Rainbow Dash did!”

“Pinkie, what do you mean? We meant to come over here and talk to you.” Discord was curious about Pinkie’s statement, for the third time being confused and surprised by the mare.

“Oh, you did?” Pinkie grinned wider, if that were possible, and hugged Discord. “Well that’s super sweet of you Fluttershy. I didn’t think you would stay beyond hearing I payed for your bill with how busy you seemed to be.”

“Well, uhm, whatever you say, Pinkie. But uh, I came over to ask what happened after Fl-- I left?”

Pinkie hmmed, rubbing her chin and looking Discord up and down with scrutinizing eyes. “I suppose I can tell you!” she chirped, her grin returning. “That meaniejerkface you had been here with left without paying for your bill, so I had to. He totally said something about getting over to Twilight’s while he was leaving.”

“Oh.” Discord still did not truly fear anything, and he wanted to bat the pony who stuck Fluttershy up into the sun, but having to go to Twilight Sparkle’s castle, disguised as one of her best friends to figure out what happened, certainly made him question if he should give this fear thing a try. Maybe it’d let him just go back to the cottage and hide, instead of– “I’ll have to go over there then right now.”

Discord blinked, his voice speaking well before his mind caught up. Pinkie however, looked ecstatic. “I have a delivery I need to take over there for Starlight. You can do it for me!”

A large covered basket found itself suddenly in front of him, smelling of multiple baked goods. Discord hadn’t seen Pinkie pick it up from anywhere, nor had it been at any of the nearby tables either. Perhaps his testing later would involve Pinkie, since she seemed so– “I Pinkie Promise to do it, Pinkie. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” He smiled, he actually smiled at Pinkie Pie! Something was wrong. “Let’s get going then, Angel. We need to make sure we get this over before it gets cold.”

Discord scrunched his snout as Pinkie hopped away, Angel snickering at him. “You are a great Fluttershy, Discord. Pinkie just pushed you into her delivery job without a bit of fighting back.”

“I have no idea what just happened. I’m in the middle of my thoughts, and then my body says something instead of letting my thoughts finish. I couldn’t even interrupt myself.”

Angel snickered again, hopping away from his empty plate and back up onto Discord’s head. “Whatever it was, we’re going to the castle now. This is more fun than my usual daily schedule.”

The two left Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie yelling to them as they exited. “I hope you figure out your stallion trouble, Fluttershy! And I really hope he’s cute! Introduce me if you actually find one at Twilight's!”

---

Twilight’s castle, the twisting giant building made of tree and crystal, and named the Castle of Friendship after its owner, was on the outskirts of Ponyville. There were only two official paths to and from it: one that went towards Sweet Apple Acres and Fluttershy's cottage, and the other that went straight into the main street of Ponyville.

It was the main street path that Discord found himself trotting up, a basket resting on his back, Angel sitting on his head, and the moon beaming down upon them. “I’ve been trying to think for the half an hour it took to get here, and I still have no idea how I managed to Pinkie Promise myself into doing this.”

“Fluttershy’s a caring doormat for her friends. Your instinct just took over while you were thinking,” Angel replied, shrugging as best he could. “At least, that’s my theory with what you said.”

Discord shook his head, pink mane falling in front of one of his eyes. “You’re never speaking of this to anypony, or I’ll be finding a ‘new’ Angel Bunny for Fluttershy.”

“I won’t tell her you just threatened that then.” Angel smirked as Discord tried to shake him off. “Luna’ll gladly fulfill my moon request if Fluttershy asked her to for you threatening me.”

“You are the hardest bargainer in all of Equestria, rabbit.” Discord smirked. “I think this adventure has been the start of a chaotic friendship.”

“I won’t believe that until you can learn to make a salad. You can do that, I’ll do your evil minion bidding as long as it doesn’t hurt Fluttershy.”

“It’s a deal, Angel.” Draconequus-turned-pony and bunny hoofbumped, before Discord turned his attention to the door in front of him. He knocked on it twice, having to do so because his first knock made zero noise; the second only barely made any.

“I’m getting it,” a female voice called from far inside the castle, and a few minutes later, a pink-purple unicorn opened the door, looking out at them. “Huh? Fluttershy, Angel?” She shook her head. “You were just– but I just–”

“Sorry to bother you Starlight. I just have to drop this basket off from Pinkie and then we really should get home.” Discord lifted the basket off his back and set it down in front of her, quickly backing away from the door and turning to run down the path to Fluttershy’s cottage. Starlight Glimmer was one pony that would easily be able to see through his disguise, and he did not want to have to explain to her why he was Fluttershy, finding out about the mystery stallion be damned.

His running was stopped by a powerful field of magic grabbing him, and dragging the two back to the door, along with the pastry basket. “No, Fluttershy, I insist. Come in and sit down, please.” Starlight’s voice was cool and suspicious, which was not exactly a great combination for Discord and Angel.

The two were carried through the air the whole way down the grand entrance hallway by Starlight, and then through several smaller hallways. Starlight opened a door, and then trotted inside, her charges in tow, setting them down gently next to her as she closed the door.

The room was well stocked, a big projector set up facing the far wall, a pool table and skiiball table on the side closer to the door they entered from. In the center was a group of computers, as well as empty spaces to sit with a laptop. Sitting at one of those laptop spots was Trixie, a manic look in her eyes as they darted around the screen. Next to her was Fluttershy, watching over her shoulder.

Discord’s mind went entirely blank upon seeing Fluttershy, and instinct took over for his body's movements and thoughts. He hid behind Starlight, cowering and wondering what Fluttershy would say or do to him once she found out that he had been impersonating her in front of most of her friends.

“Hey!” Starlight called into the room, getting the attention of both Trixie and Fluttershy. They turned seeing to them that there was a second Fluttershy hiding behind Starlight, and a glare on Starlight’s face. “So what’s the deal here? I thought something was up, but now I have proof.” Starlight dragged Discord out from behind her, he having been reduced to a fearful, trembling mess. “If this is Fluttershy, who are you?”

Fluttershy shook her head, confused. “I am Fluttershy,” she stated. “Trixie, you can vouch for that, can’t you?”

Trixie blinked. “Well of course. Trixie brought you over from your cottage. Where did this Fluttershy come from, Starlight?”

Starlight pulled the cover off the basket, looking at the pastries inside. “From Sugarcube Corner. These are freshly baked.” Starlight glared at Fluttershy. “I don’t think Pinkie would trust somepony who wasn’t actually Fluttershy to deliver our snacks.”

Trixie shook her head. “But Trixie was with Fluttershy most of the afternoon. She would have seen if there was any change in her actions. And there aren’t many that–” Trixie paused mid-sentence, everyone watching as her brain worked towards a realization, it dawning on her face. “Thorax?” She asked Fluttershy. “Is that you?”

“I am Fluttershy,” she replied, shocked. “Really, I am.”

Trixie scrunched her face, joining Starlight in eyeing her suspiciously, causing the pegasus to go “Eep” and hide under the table. “Discord told me today that Thorax was practicing being ponies, but he could not get Trixie down. What if it was all a trick by Discord to get Thorax better at impersonating her!”

Starlight began to drag Fluttershy out from underneath the table, and Angel had enough as he heard his owner whimper again. “Stop!” He jumped up onto Starlight, throwing her focus off and letting Fluttershy climb back into hiding. “You don’t hurt my owner! Never ever lay a hoof on Fluttershy!”

“Talking rabbit! Talking rabbit pulling my mane!” Starlight wobbled and ran towards Trixie, almost crashing into her. Trixie was fast enough to use her magic to cushion the collision, and the two unicorns and one peeved rabbit ended up tangled on the floor, punching and biting each other.

“Oh my,” both Fluttershy said at the same time as they watched, then looked to each other.

Fluttershy came out from under the table, and walked over to her draconequus double. “Uhm, hello?” Fluttershy held a hoof out for the other yellow pegasus to shake.

“Oh, hello.” Discord replied, shaking her hoof back carefully. Then he blinked, shaking his head. “What just happened? I think I spaced out there the moment I saw Trixie dragged you over here instead of keeping you at home.”

Fluttershy shook her head, half of her face hidden behind her mane, but there was a small smile visible. “You were more me than I apparently was, Discord. They're fighting over which of us is Thorax.”

Discord blinked, slowly undoing his disguise now that he was at least with ponies he knew better. “Well, it seems Angel was right then. My transformation, whenever I got too distracted, would take over on its own.” He began to rub his chin with a claw, musing out loud to her. “It may be too good of a disguise in that case, if even I can lose track of myself and believe I am actually the pony I’m hidden as. Is that what it’s like for changelings who got too into the lives of those they were replacing?”

Fluttershy giggled, hugging him. Discord confusedly returned the hug. “That might be fine. I could use that to get out of spa days with Rarity sometimes.” Fluttershy smirked at her growing draconequus friend. “She’s truly generous, but really now, twice a week is a bit much with so many animals counting on me. I already felt bad coming to Twilight’s with Trixie.”

“You have learned too much from me, Fluttershy,” Discord said with his own smirk. “But, I do have to ask. Angel and I went out to find out why you were crying, and eventually we found out that there was some, to quote Pinkie, ‘meaniejerkface’ that didn’t pay for your bill?”

Fluttershy blushed. “Oh, my. I had ran home to get my bit bag, to go back and pay for it. But, if you must know, I was out with Owlowiscious. Twilight had me meet her at the Apple stall in the morning to pick him up.”

Discord stared at her. “But, the crying? Something about a cat in a tree? Why would Pinkie send us here on a chase for a non-existent stallion when you were out with an owl? Why would she call an owl mean for not paying for you bill in the first place?”

Fluttershy coughed. “Well, I don’t know why Pinkie would do such a thing, perhaps she was simply testing you? You know how Pinkie is; she wanted to see how you would react if you were told I was with some stallion that stuck me up.”

Discord harrumphed. “Out-tricked by two earth ponies in one day. And they claim they don't have any real magic." Discord shook his head. "I was ready to sic Angel on this fake stallion the moment I saw him here at the castle.”

Fluttershy hugged Discord tighter, smiling more. “Thank you for you and Angel looking out for me. I think I could handle myself with a stallion, but, it’s good to know that you both care so much about me.”

“That doesn’t explain why you were crying, though.”

“Well, when I left Sugarcube Corner, I heard Opal mewling. I had to get her out of the tree, and she scratched me pretty bad. I got her to Rarity, and quickly went home.” Fluttershy sighed. “It was a pretty bad gash, and the disinfectant stung pretty bad. I knew Angel needed someone to watch over him, since I couldn’t at that moment, so I got in touch with you.” She smiled a bit, playfully giving Discord a jab. “Imagine my surprise when I finally come down, and Trixie is just sitting on my couch screaming at her computer.”

“Well, I feel quite the fool now.” Discord picked Fluttershy up, and hugged her close. “I am truly glad you are alright though.”

“Get this rabbit off of Trixie!” Discord and Fluttershy turned, startled, and saw that the fight was still going, Trixie jumping up and down while Angel pulled her mane. “She does not do as good with them as her show would have you believe!”

“I’m trying, Trixie! You need to stand still so I can get a lock on him.” Starlight’s magic attempted to grab Angel off of her, but only managed to begin messing Trixie’s mane up more.

Discord and Fluttershy shared a grin. “I’ll get him. Just make sure next time you don’t rile Angel up so much, okay?”

“No promises, Fluttershy, but I’ll see what happens if there is a next time.”

---

Dear Celestia,

I can’t believe Fluttershy is making me write something like an Aesop to you, like this was five years ago!

I guess I need to have learned something for this letter to be legitimate, right? I mean, I learned that sometimes, if you pretend to be one of your friends, magical transformation and all, you might end up acting like them completely unconsciously while you’re busy thinking or are otherwise overwhelmed.

Oh! I also learned that Fluttershy can handle herself, and her rabbit and I don’t need to run off to try and solve her problems, especially when we don’t know for certain if there is a problem. Like today, there just was not an actual problem that could be solved. We could have almost made problems for her, but that whole ‘learning that subconsciously I could actually be her’ thing worked out to not do so. Mostly. I think the flower ponies are still running around.

I mean, that’s basically enough for this to count for whatever vault you put these in, yeah? I think it is.

Chaotically yours,
Discord

Author's Note:

My first major foray into writing anything since 2011. And it's certainly a thing, I think?

Thanks if you made it this far, and feel free to criticize and tear apart the grammar, tenses or other mistakes.

Comments

[kurusagi16]

Not sure how I feel about having modern technology in the story.

[LiterarySerenity]

A very fun and quirky story! In many ways, it felt a lot like a Discord-centric episode that would fit in the actual show (which is always a wonderful thing). Because of that, the apparent use of modern technology by ponies like Fluttershy did pull me out of the narrative a bit. But like any fan fic, this story ultimately shows your own twist on Equestria, which is perfectly fine.

Anyway, thanks for a nice read.