Pony reader mistakenly gifted a keyboard, but no talent to go with it. Immortals tremble in fear.
Sunset Shimmer has what she needs in the world of humans. A home, friends, even potential love were all just a few steps back through the mirror. But there is one pony she must get back to Canterlot to talk with. Not Princess Celestia; Sunset knew that she was forgiven by her old mentor for everything. Princess Luna, on the other hand...
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After reading your description, all I can get from it is that you don't understand the source material.
While Sunset Shimmer was still in Equestria, Nightmare Moon was forgotten by all. Unless we have comfirmation that Sunset read about her (as Twilight did) or Celestia told her, she didn't even know of Luna's existance.
While living her life in human land, she may have heard about Luna from Twilight during their book-messaging.
But there is literally nothing for them to apologize for to each other, connect on, or feel the need to interact.
In short, your description doesn't hook me in. It doesn't tell me, "I should read this." It tells me, "here is someone who doens't know what the hell they are doing, and is pulling something out of their ass." And it is 4k words long. This is not going to be a good story, and I should not bother clicking in.
So, there you go. Take what you will from that. This is why at least one person, having seen the cover, is not giving you a view, or a vote.
8302233
I understand. You don't have to read it, or even read this reply, but I would at least like to explain myself a bit.
The story originally had an AU tag, but I felt after going over it that it didn't deviate far enough from canon to qualify for it. The only major 'difference' going into the story is that Sunset knew of the Nightmare Moon incident, and about Luna's return, It's something I assumed she would have been told of, if she never did research on it herself. After all, she has come back to Equestria at least twice at this point.
As for the why of interaction, Sunset would still feel remorse over what she did to Celestia, and if she had learned of the Nightmare Moon incident through Twilight, felt that there was something to potentially discuss, as awkward as it would be, about what they did to Celestia. She also just felt the need to apologize to the family of someone important to her life, even if the attempt at bonding and apologizing went horribly wrong.
I really could have done much better on background detail and the whys and hows in the description, instead of here in a comment. I'm sorry.
Really? Another lesbian Sunset?
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This shit's getting OLD.
...Other than that, good story.
Interesting, but it leaves a lot unanswered. For example why does Sunset need to confront Princess Luna? She was still imprisoned in the moon when she was Celestias student. And why were her friends so determined to try and stop her from going if she already made peace with Princess Celestia?
8302332
it is a bit old of a trope at this point, but thanks.
8302379
Her friends may know that she's had words relayed to Celestia, or spoken to her through the book, but are afraid that Celestia and her guards may not exactly be as kind in person to essentially a traitor. As for the why to confront Luna, I said in another comment I should have expanded the description more to include that it was to apologize for hurting her sister, and an attempt to bond over their shared mistaken treatment of Celestia.
What about Cadence?
8302332
One can never fault a writer for following the instructions.
24.media.tumblr.com/594779e0675c7576f02bc7f221c8d003/tumblr_ml0fp6AcBT1r1wdbeo1_500.png
8302316
I agree with the other comment, here:
8302712
Also, what about Shining Armor? How about Twilight's parents? How about Moondancer, Minuet, Lyra, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine? There was one scene where Celestia was teaching a class and they were all in it, alongside Twilight Sparkle.
When you start including the need to apologize to complete strangers, just because they have some sort of interaction with the person you "wronged" you open up the doors to nearly everyone on the planet. Sunset doesn't owe any of them an apology, and this is how little she owes Luna one.
Sorry, no. If you think she does, you're just wrong, and this is a terrible story, as suspected. In order to try to make it a good story, you would have to make it an AU in which Sunset Shimmer and Luna had some kind of pre-existing relationship, in which her "betrayal" also hurt Luna. That too sounds like a contrived and bad story.
As for caljinc, ignore him. He's just an asshole that complains about any story that doesn't make everyone in them hardcore notgay. If your story isn't oozing the notgays like a slug rolled in salt, he's going to complain. You'll get used to seeing him around if you're here for very long.
8302792
Ha ha.
But in all seriousness, putting lesbians in a fanfiction is at this point a cliche. The real way to make something really great is to actually be creative and sometimes original.
8302811
Or you could just not whine on a fic for the sake of whining.
8302811
You're right, how silly of me.
Let's put the girl with a guy instead. This never-before-seen innovation will blow everyone's minds.
8302829
Let me tell you, I'm fucking stunned you would think to do such a thing.
8302831
You know me, Casey.
I'm easily amused.
8302808
I guess I got more carried away by an idea that doesn't quite make sense in the original show's context just for the sake of writing it rather than a good idea that would be better executed if I stuck to an idea of a more involved AU where there's a reason to even write it.
Thanks for the advice at least!