When Entrepreneur Stuart Middlemis comes across a small cave at the back of his property, he uncovers the key to a 30 y.o mystery which provides more questions about his past then he ever knew existed.
"Let me know how hard I have failed!" Some spelling and grammar errors, but this story deserves an editor or pre-reader or whatever. frankly the only thing that I believe separates this story from the better stories out there is it's lack of careful proofreading and editing. Keep it up! please...
8092554 Thanks! I have bitten the bullet and got an editor on board now to help iron out all the bugs. I have no idea what I was thinking when it came to doing this and not having someone else edit it...
Usually if I see a glowing blue pool that's not from fire, I would have gone home and written up a last will and testament because typically that's Cherenkov Radiation.
ok lets see where this goes
Dude, you have a rather nasty case of Capital Letter-itis.
You should get that looked at.
8089507 Heh, yeah, your right. I'm still getting used to writing in a literary prose as opposed to government and legal. I'll get there!!! lol
In the second paragraph, you use the word "joules", I think you mean "jowls", unless the guys face involves the unit for work in physics
For a first attempt, this is pretty damn good. Better than my first one, that's for sure.
8091685 Thankyou <3
8091558 Thanks! Fixed :)
"Let me know how hard I have failed!" Some spelling and grammar errors, but this story deserves an editor or pre-reader or whatever.
frankly the only thing that I believe separates this story from the better stories out there is it's lack of careful proofreading and editing.
Keep it up! please...
8092554 Thanks! I have bitten the bullet and got an editor on board now to help iron out all the bugs. I have no idea what I was thinking when it came to doing this and not having someone else edit it...
Should be tires. No apostrophe needed....as for the spelling, unless it's spelled differently in other countries, it's an i not a y.
Otherwise......interesting. I'll have to read further to pass any judgement.
8092966 Apostrophe fixed! But yeah, American English is a regionalised dialect and I try and avoid using it.
This is your first story? This is really well written!
8093875 Thanks! I've now got some help with editing, so soon it will even be typo free!
Usually if I see a glowing blue pool that's not from fire, I would have gone home and written up a last will and testament because typically that's Cherenkov Radiation.
not bad I shall continue!
This is great. It reminds me of another story called trigger. Anyway I shall now continue *runs into the chapter*
Matt’s scow deepened.
I noticed all cases of "bought" should be "brought".
This reasonably good story just became a very good one because of that authors comment