Normally I enjoy a good second person perspective fic, but I think this would be much better if it wasn't second person. That's just me though.

The Scatman lives!

After reading the chapter, it's a good start, but once more I find myself torn on the whole 2nd person POV bit. It's mostly fine, but I think it would fit a tad better in the 3rd POV. Either way, it's nice to see signs of activity from you, glad to have you back once again. I'll be keeping an eye out for future chapters here.

Damn this guy has the mentality of a 4 year old and is narcissistic as fuck.

Are there other Humans in this story is it just this guy.

Probably missing something here

Is it wrong that I read in John Lequizamo voice with a lisp? Oddly familiar somehow though.

I've been reading your stories for quite some time...I've heavily enjoyed them all, especially This Magic Moment, I Can't Help, and With My Wonderbolt. But this story, the main character in particular, fell short in every possible way for me...which is a shame to me because the premise was really interesting. Sorry to say I won't be reading this one any further, I look forward to updates on your other stories though and wish you luck with this one wherever you take it.

2nd person does not work well with an unrelatable, very unlikeable protagonist. This reads like the worst of 4chan amalgamated with the worst of HiE 2nd person stories, to the point where I can't believe you expect people to take this story seriously. With a protagonist with no redeeming qualities, and the maturity of a 2 year old.

Also, going by your track record, the story won't be finished anyway and if it does it'll take years and years. So no point getting attached really even if one enjoys it, unless one likes disappointment.

That's way - i like it! Great start!

You good sir have sorely dissapointed me with this story the description promised something with great potential, but the inside is lacking.

Is this song kind of satire I'm not getting?, because it feels like satire.

I have put this in my "read it later" till second or third chapter is out, till then I will judge to fav or not. I pray that you will make me fav.

glhf

I'm glad to see you back in the writing game man but I just have to say...this guy is an unlikable asshat. I will watch for further chapters to see if the story goes in a better direction but this most certainly isn't the best first impression I've seen.

This is as good as chicken wings.

Mans not dead? This has me miffed. I thought you were gone?

I find it entertaining

Yup, I found it entertaining, too.
(Poor human! Confound this stupid ponies!)
I hope it will continued.

Found an small error:

surprise him a you did.

Should be "as".

The story feels off....

I don't know what this is but I love it!

But just look at the poor boy! He’s clearly retarded.”

I lost it for a good five minutes at that.

This is trash.

I can't understand how someone who has wrote this other stories could make up something like this? This isn't even satire. The humor is trashed and the stupidity is far too forced to even say its played for laughs. The main character is so childish, stupid, and unlikable that any form of character development is essentially impossible without completely turning him into another character.

Also the other characters are such one dimensional caricatures that even hopes one would have had in future content are essentially dashed. I would redo the story and make all the characters into believable, three-dimensional beings without trash 4-chan humor.

7910715 I understand the main character is not supposed to be likeable, but there's got to be a better way to portray that than irritating the reader. Also, the princesses felt very out of character.

7902937 He's done better than most authors of incomplete stories on my list.

As much as I can see what you were trying to go for, there's one huge problem with this...

Sure, stupid is funny, but it's too stupid to actually be funny

I fucking love this.