Divine
Discord hung by the light bulb for a moment in the dark cellar, contemplating his life choices that led him to bad puns in a basement with a pony. Had he fallen so far? Had he come to this? Was this what the God of Chaos amounted to? He smirked, then laughed. "Nope, no regrets!"
He uncurled himself from the light bulb and returned to his usual stature, his horns scraping on the ceiling of the tiny space. He winced, ducking down slightly, and then snapped his fingers, warping reality around himself as he teleported. He re-appeared atop Angel Bunny's hutch, and he slid down from the roof to the ground below. Angel, himself, sat in front of a bowl of carrots, munching away. Discord smiled at the little rabbit, "Hello, chum. You don't happen to know where Fluttershy is?"
Angel Bunny blinked up at Discord for a moment, mouth full of carrot, before giving him an incredibly rude gesture and returning to his breakfast. Discord scowled. "That was uncalled for."
Angel made it clear to that he did not care, turning his fluffy tail to Discord. Discord scowled and snapped his fingers. The remaining carrots in Angel's bowl sprouted leafy wings and began to dart around his head, bopping the startled rabbit on the head. Discord stalked away, leaving Angel to battle his breakfast.
Discord found Fluttershy around the back of the house, feeding her outdoor animals. Cats, dogs, otters and seals, bats and owls; her menagerie was impressive. The sounds of feeding and content surrounded Fluttershy, and she basked in the satisfaction of a job well done, her wings spread as she sat in the sun. Discord halted his approach for a moment, simply taking in the tranquil moment. Fluttershy's yellow coat was fuzzy, having not been brushed in the morning, and it caught the light so that a halo surrounded her form. Her eyes were closed, her breathing slow, chin tilted up slightly as the sun caught her chest and neck. Her mane was mussed and hung about her in a chaotic tangle, flowing down her back, meeting her long tail which pooled around her. One yellow ear flicked towards Discord, and he held his breath, eyes widening. "Hello, Discord."
"Hello, Fluttershy," Discord replied, voice reverent.
Fluttershy's blinked one eye open to regard him, one eyebrow raised at the tone of his voice, and Discord was snapped out of the moment. He laughed, "Asleep on the job? You poor dear, you must be overworked."
Fluttershy smiled. "Not that you'd know what that feels like."
Discord gasped, placing one hand dramatically on his forehead and the other upon his chest, the very picture of affronted feelings. "You wound me, Fluttershy, dear! Your uncharacteristic snark speaks to your levels of exhaustion." He leapt from his pose, landing with a rude sound right before Fluttershy, "You obviously need a break. From all of this."
Fluttershy frowned, her nose wrinkling. "No, I still have a lot to do today. I need to run into town for more fish for the otters and seals, and then I need to feed the chickens."
Discord frowned, "Well, that simply won't do. I won't have my devious plans ruined! Where's the fun in that?"
He snapped his fingers, and sardines began to rain from the sky above the seals and otters. Discord nodded, and then snapped his fingers again. Scootaloo appeared, in mid-scooter-pose, and promptly fell flat on her face with a yelp. Discord picked up the startled filly and brushed her off. Scootaloo blinked, looking around. "Uhhhh, what?"
Fluttershy frowned. "Discord! Scootaloo isn't a chicken. That was never funny!"
Discord frowned and rolled his eyes. "I know that," he said, before turning to the confused filly, "Heya, kiddo. Wanna make a few bits?"
Scootaloo blinked up at Discord, uncomprehending. "What?"
Discord smiled, "I'll take that as a yes. Here's the deal; go and feed the chickens for us, and keep an eye on your brothers and sisters—" Fluttershy's frown deepened into a scowl, "—for an hour, and I'll give you ten bits."
Scootaloo glanced at Fluttershy, seeking permission from the adult mare, before planting her hooves and looking up at the God of Chaos before her. "Forty."
His mouth fell open to gape at Scootaloo. "Forty? You've got some nerve!"
"No," Scootaloo countered, lifting a hoof to point at Discord, "you've got some nerve! You interrupt a sweet scooter session, I was going to go see Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom and now that's gonna have to be pushed back, and on top of that you made a friggin' chicken joke. Disabilities aren't something you should make fun of ponies for!" She finished, her small wings fluttering with indignant anger.
Discord snorted. "I don't hear a convincing argument in there."
Scootaloo held up a hoof. "I wasn't done." She glanced around at the feeding animals and Fluttershy, before looking back up to Discord, her expression confident. "If you snapped me over here, that must mean that you need me to get you off the hook for something. Which means that you're not in a position to negotiate, I am. So, I say forty bits, or I walk and you can find somepony else."
Discord rocked back on his heels, staring at Scootaloo incredulously. "Wow," he said after a moment, glancing at Fluttershy, "what's Cheerilee teaching these kiddos? The Art of the Deal?"
Fluttershy giggled, giving Scootaloo a proud nod. Scootaloo sat on her haunches and crossed her arms, a devilish smirk on her muzzle. Discord was briefly struck by how much she reminded him of Rainbow Dash. He grinned back at the little orange mare. "You're good, kid. I'll give you fifty bits. Forty, like you asked, and ten for cheeking off to a God—" he bared his teeth, which were suddenly shark-like, "—that could crush you like an insect if he was in a bad mood. So you treat those chickens real nice, capisce?"
Scootaloo's confident smirk faltered slightly. "Uh, yeah, of course! Like they were, ah, my own siblings! Heh..."
Discord patted her on the head, mussing her mane. "Attagirl." He turned to regard Fluttershy, who gave him a shrug. "Looks like you've found yourself some free time."
Fluttershy glanced at Scootaloo, who gave her a subtle nod. She smiled at Discord, "I guess I have."
With a clap of his hands, Discord donned a pair of aviators, a boonie hat, and a red hawaiian shirt. "Fantastic. Let's be off!"
Fluttershy smiled, standing up and looking up at Discord. "Let's go somewhere nice and quiet, maybe?" she asked hopefully.
Discord considered for a moment. "Hmm... no, not ringing any bells."
With a snap of his fingers, Fluttershy and Discord disappeared, leaving Scootaloo standing in the back yard by herself. She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, and trekked over towards the chicken pen. "Hey Mrs. Feathers. Flappy. Beakhilda. Laid anything interesting today?"
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Hooray, an update! And thank you for making the chapter a little longer this time.
Hehehe.
Still funny to this day!
Scootaloo extorting Discord, eh? You've got my like/track already, and this is only getting started.
This chapter, right here, is exactly what I was hoping to get when I started reading. Scootaloo clearly stole the show, and Discord stole it right back! Excellent scene, all around.
But what really stole the show for me was the bit with Fluttershy basking in the sun. It was a bold, delicate, and altogether beautiful description, so much so that, even when a god was struck with awe, we believed every single word. Bravo.
*snerk*
I can just imagine Scootaloo, intently staring into that open book, nodding occasionally with her eyebrows pinched together before turning to the side and scribbling some notes onto a pad of paper.
Oh... oh no... Scootaloo even copied his hairstyle. We're doomed.
I'd vote for Scootaloo...
Lulz! Fantastic chapter. Meta chicken, Donald Trump, and scary Discord. I love the way you write his dialogue, it's so believable and easy to hear DeLancie's voice.
7924184
Make the chicken coop great again!
It's cute how Discord wants to spend time with Fluttershy, wants to help her so he can spend more time with her, but is still being a bit of a brat. It's like he doesn't realize his own feelings.