Great start.

"You feeling okay, Diamond?" she asked me, as I gave her a weak smile.

Oh my god you didn't, you absolute madman. You did NOT call him Cra-

"My name is Diamond," I responded. "D-Diamond Grovel."

Oh. Dang. Still looking forward to more!

this story has alot of potental

wife princess Amore Cadenza (Cadance for short)

Fun Fact!

Cadence's full name: Mi Amore Cadenza is Italian, and it translates to "I Love Cadence". Throw her title in there, "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza", you get two possible outcomes.
1: Princess I Love Cadence
2: I Love Princess Cadence
Bonus: "Mi amore" translates to "my love".

We get it, Hazbro, Cadence is a lovely pony!!!

(When using 'princess' in title with someone's name, "Princess Celestia" for example, you should usually capitalise the word.)

need more from this

OK, after having read as much as I could manage, there's a couple pieces of advice I would like to offer.

A few things about paragraphs. There is no absolute rule, but there are a few things to think about. The longer they are, the more of a chore they become to read, and it gets to feeling like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. A good size would be 6-7 sentences long depending on your writing platform.

Your main character is an absolutely whiney cunt. Like, the kind of cowardly that makes someone question the existence of his very manhood. There is way more detail about that singular aspect of him necessary, and I couldn't help but laugh at his surname of 'Grovel'

When I saw this story I thought to myself; "Oohhh, goodie!", because I hadn't seen a Human X Flurry Heart story like this before (that's not to say thy don't exist, I'm just not aware of any), and when I actually started reading, my elation turned into a case of "good story, solid potential, poorly executed".

On a side note, pardon me if I seem rude, it's 2am and I'm extremely stoned.

PS: You still get my upvote because I still like the idea and the absolutely gorgeous cover art

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Thanks for the advice and I'm glad you like it

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There are now, but glad you like it

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Don't feel bad. It's not your fault.

Tracking, I hope that "sexy things" won't be rushed and/or routine like in every clopfic. Make it fun and special.

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I'll see. Don't get your hopes up.

Hopefully he can have a conflict build his character in later chapters, otherwise good start

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Crazy Diamond fix that spaghetti!

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Fancy seeing you here