Well, the sex scenes leave a bit to be desired, but the rest of it isn't bad. Do you have someone to proofread this? If not, I would recommend getting one. A lot of simple errors are slipping through, and a second set of eyes would help tag them.
Hmmm. I am curious what the non smexy parts of this story is leading towards. The story so far is a guy finding one of the elements of harmony and it turn him into an anthro version of it's bearer. Other elements appear and change people who find them in a form of infectious contact. All the sexual parts are just transformed individuals being well boys. Shouldn't have to state much.
Good chapter.... Five down, one to go though I always think that Fluttershy is tall one in this group..huh, Now we just need to see what happens after Twi,i hope that the girls will stay in this world and begin to interact with normal people (it seems more fun and chaotic that way).
Ps.Who also thought that what the girls did, was a bit like: i.imgflip.com/1gq0ld.jpg found on the internet, meme from game "SuperHot"
Random side note: it always bothers me in TF/TG stories when the penis disappears means all the pronouns change to "she". If it's still a guy's brain, it's still "he", penis or not. Why not when the breasts appear? Or when the guy considers themselves a girl?
Random side note: it always bothers me in TF/TG stories when the penis disappears means all the pronouns change to "she". If it's still a guy's brain, it's still "he", penis or not. Why not when the breasts appear? Or when the guy considers themselves a girl?
Because it gets confusing in text, since you get sentences like: 'his breast,' 'her dick,' and so on.
It can still be worth it as a small bit of character building, though, if the character cares that deeply about their 'real' sex/gender to keep clinging to it.
But yeah, only sometimes. I've tried it myself in a few of my stories, and usually it just confuses and irritates the readers.
7829752 But the problem still exists for Gabe - "his breast" is still valid in this context. If the concept of "her dick" is confusing, maybe transgendered fics are not the best reading.
Why is Gabe referred to as a "he", while the rest are "she"? They all started the same and they all are female ponies (futa details aside). "He" was also used when the characters hadn't completely converted. The paragraph when pronouns are all-of-a-sudden flipped is super confusing and reading "she" for a character I've already internalized as mentally a guy continues to irritate me.
I guess I'm saying I highly prefer stories that keep consistency and logic in their pronouns instead of throwing it all out because someone lost a penis. Biggest deal for me, though, is that one of the hottest parts about TF/TG stories in general is the disconnect of the mind and the (new) physical body, and automatically changing everything to the new pronoun kind of ruins it. (as a strong personal preference)
One of favorite gender bender fics is How the Other Half Lives with its handling the main character's identity. Not straight clop - really good story. Luna Switched is pure clop.
“You’re kidding right?” Gabe asked, speaking to the woman claiming to be Adrian. Gabe was a rather unimpressive looking guy all things considered. He was a little over 5’ tall and his limbs were bone thin. He had a close cropped hair cut. The hair itself was an auburn color and his eyes were a deep almost chocolate brown.
calling it (i've only read this far to this point), all the others changed very drastically and pretty much became the opposite of themselves. Gabe is totally becoming Applejack (or the author throws in a twist and he becomes Pinkie)
And another good chapter... Well done. *Claps*
This is some good shit here.
Well, the sex scenes leave a bit to be desired, but the rest of it isn't bad. Do you have someone to proofread this? If not, I would recommend getting one. A lot of simple errors are slipping through, and a second set of eyes would help tag them.
Hmmm. I am curious what the non smexy parts of this story is leading towards. The story so far is a guy finding one of the elements of harmony and it turn him into an anthro version of it's bearer. Other elements appear and change people who find them in a form of infectious contact. All the sexual parts are just transformed individuals being well boys. Shouldn't have to state much.
Great story so far man I can't wait to see the next chapter
All I have to say is that when Gabe became AJ, he KEPT his dick, not BECAME a dick.
It goes a touch too far, for the character he became.
Good chapter.... Five down, one to go though I always think that Fluttershy is tall one in this group..huh,
Now we just need to see what happens after Twi,i hope that the girls will stay in this world and begin to interact with normal people (it seems more fun and chaotic that way).
Ps.Who also thought that what the girls did, was a bit like:
i.imgflip.com/1gq0ld.jpg
found on the internet, meme from game "SuperHot"
Random side note: it always bothers me in TF/TG stories when the penis disappears means all the pronouns change to "she". If it's still a guy's brain, it's still "he", penis or not. Why not when the breasts appear? Or when the guy considers themselves a girl?
7826768
Because it gets confusing in text, since you get sentences like: 'his breast,' 'her dick,' and so on.
It can still be worth it as a small bit of character building, though, if the character cares that deeply about their 'real' sex/gender to keep clinging to it.
But yeah, only sometimes. I've tried it myself in a few of my stories, and usually it just confuses and irritates the readers.
7829752 But the problem still exists for Gabe - "his breast" is still valid in this context. If the concept of "her dick" is confusing, maybe transgendered fics are not the best reading.
Why is Gabe referred to as a "he", while the rest are "she"? They all started the same and they all are female ponies (futa details aside). "He" was also used when the characters hadn't completely converted. The paragraph when pronouns are all-of-a-sudden flipped is super confusing and reading "she" for a character I've already internalized as mentally a guy continues to irritate me.
I guess I'm saying I highly prefer stories that keep consistency and logic in their pronouns instead of throwing it all out because someone lost a penis. Biggest deal for me, though, is that one of the hottest parts about TF/TG stories in general is the disconnect of the mind and the (new) physical body, and automatically changing everything to the new pronoun kind of ruins it. (as a strong personal preference)
One of favorite gender bender fics is How the Other Half Lives with its handling the main character's identity. Not straight clop - really good story. Luna Switched is pure clop.
Need more!
I hope there Twilight is not only a alicorn but is also a futa and I hope Jake has all of Pinkies powers to.
Can you mack all futa by twi's magic or not.
I hope twilight is gonna be a futa.
calling it (i've only read this far to this point), all the others changed very drastically and pretty much became the opposite of themselves. Gabe is totally becoming Applejack (or the author throws in a twist and he becomes Pinkie)
edit: hah. called it.