• Published 27th Jul 2017
  • 984 Views, 26 Comments

Trial - Even Evil Has Standards

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Interlude: Party of One, Boast Busters, Best Night Ever

Anon took off his wig and scratched his head. "Man, that itched. How do those Brits stand it? Grin and bear it?" He walked over to the convicts who looked at him with mixed emotions: some where hostile, others were frightened, others were indistinguishable. "Hey, none of this would be happening if any of you had those issues resolved in a better way."

Celestia continued to stare at him angrily. "I care about my little ponies and would help them with any problem."

Anon smirked. "Prepare to eat your own words, Tia. Now I suppose you all are wondering why I'm taking part in this."

"Eyup," boomed Big Mac.
"He speaks for all of us," said Shining.
Anon scratched his head again. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. I'm from a world where Equestria isn't unknown. Over there, it is the center of stories that are suppose to teach kids-or rather foals-how to act as better friends and better ways to handle problems."

"Suppose to?" asked Cheerilee.
Anon took a deep breath. "Some, uh, lessons were handled the wrong way. But we'll cover those later. Now can I speak with you 6 privately?" The Elements looked rather reluctant.

"Certainly not!" snapped Shining. "I will not stand by and let you cor-"
"Oh give it a break , princey," Anon fired back, "name one time you had listened to your sister and actually did something about it." Beat. "Exactly. Now we'll discuss that later, but in the mean time," he surveyed the 6 mares, "why don't you tell me what the purpose of a surprise party is."

Pinkie Pie literally sprung up and spouted off at rapid speed, "The-purpose-of-surprise-a-party-is-to-give-your-bestest-friend(s)-a-surprise-that-will-lead-them-to-have-the-bestest-times-of-their-lives!"
"Correct," said Anon, "now Ms. Pie, how hard would you think it'd be to keep a surprise party from you?"
"Super duper hard! Nopony keeps a party from me!"
"Yet these 5 did," Anon waved his hand over her friends, "and we all know it was no easy feat, especially with you being the pony of honor."
"True blue," agreed Pinkie, "they got me good."
"Especially when they-or rather Spike-convinced you that it was a goodbye party becuase they didn't want ot be friends anymore," finished Anon. Pinkie's friends immediately looked at the little dragon who was beginning to wish he was incarcerated than face the stares they were giving him.

"Spikey, why would you say such a thing to Pinkie Pie?" demanded Rarity.
"I...I...I didn't know what to say!" protested Spike. "She had that crazy look in her eyes that said if I didn't answer, something would happen!" Tears built up as he said, "my life began to flash before my eyes!"

Rainbow Dash coughed, "Yeah, when I came to get her for the party, she had Gummy at a table with all these inanimate objects and was talking to them while giving them her own voice."

"Surely it couldn't have been that bad, could it!" asked Rarity.
Rainbow Dash gave her a flat stare. "You were replaced by a ball of lint, I by a pile of rocks, Applejack by a bucket of turnips, and Fluttershy by a bag of flour."
Practically, everypony that was involved started to look sheepish. "Yeeeeeah," mumbled Twilight, "Maybe we could've handled keeping it a surprise."

"YA THINK?!?" screamed Anon. He calmed himself, then turned to the Time Eater. "Maybe it's best if you see for yourself."


"Wow," said Applejack, "Ah don't think any of us knew that you cared for friends THAT much."
"Yeah," added Spike "I'm sorry for saying that they didn't care about you Pinkie."
"Aw, I forgave you when we had that party," answered Pinkie Pie.
"Considering the circumstances, the easy forgiveness is warranted," said Anon, "although why didn't you just ask Pinkie Pie to help set up a party for an anonymous pony that made them "Pinkie Promise" to not to reveal anything until the party was completed and THEN reveal that she was the Very Important Pony?"

Silence followed as the Mane 6 and Spike considered his words. Pinkie Pie was the first to react, and when she did, you could hear a glass window break to smitheernies; the rest weren't too far behind. "You're kidding me."
"Weeeeeeel, I probably would've found out a lot sooner if they did that," tittered Pinkie Pie.
Anon scratched his chin for a moment, then sighed. "I suppose so. Well, it's not like I can't exactly charge you for scaring the life out of some of my friends, just like I can't charge you 3 big mouths for damaging public property."

Rainbow Dash seethed in fury. "And what is that suppose to mean?"
"it means that show ponies all boast, sometimes they don't mean to sound like a school filly showing off her ribbons."
Applejack looked at him. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Anon looked back. "You are a competitive pony, right?"
"Right."
Then he turned to Rainbow Dash. "And you never miss a chance to answer to a challenge?"
"Hay no!"
Then he turned to Rarity. "And you..?"
"Only when it comes to fashion."
"Right... Anyhoo, what would your reactions be if someone told you that they were better than you?"

"I'd lick 'em till they'd eat my dust!" snorted Rainbow Dash.
"Works for me," put in Applejack.
"Gross but hear hear!" finished Rarity.

"Just like you did with Trixie." snarked Anon.
"Hey-" started Rainbow Dash.
"Is for horses," retorted Anon. Then he got up in her face. "And so is 'magic shmagic. Boooo!' What the hell, Rainbow? You were becoming friends with unicorn who was studying magic at the time. No wonder Twilight became a scared pony."

"I'll have you know that I was justified!" snapped Twilight. "I didn't want to be seen as a show off!"

"You were going to teach Trixie a lesson in a magic duel, not kill her. Ponies like Trixie show off because that's part and parcel of the show gig. Circus barkers and ringmasters do it all the time, they yell about how great the shows, then 'show off' what they've been shouting about. Does that make them a show off?"

Once again, they considered his words. Pinkie Pie answered for them. "Of course not, silly. They're just doing their jobs. I've been to enough circuses to know."

"And I've been to enough fashion shows and tailored to enough celebrities to know what you're talking about," added Rarity.
"So yer saying-" started Applejack.
"That when Trixie was boasting, she was either trying to earn a few bits and/or make ponies smile, albeit in her own way."
The mares looked sadder still. "And if I'm not mistaken, your attitudes is what made Twilight think that showing off made one a bad pony and was the same thing as bragging."

"Isn't it?" asked Twilight.
"We'll, it depends on how he/she is showing off," explained Anon. "If he/she is standing up to a bully," here his eyes flashed towards 4 certain fillies, "and not rub it in there offender's face, then he/she is just standing up for his/her friends. Although, considering how some ponies were making sound like you had to 'show off', your behavior was a little justified.

But let's digress to another topic. I can't have you 3 doing community service in Ponyville for being loudmouths, but I can have 2 ponies with the same voice do community service in Canterlot." When that was said, he turned his eyes on Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.

"But what did we do?" ask Fluttershy.
"I'm sure you 2 and the rest learned about how dreams don't really come true, ponies having different versions of partying, yadda yadda, fine print, boiler point. Fluttershy also learned that animals run from strangers, right?"

Fluttershy nodded meekly. "I just wanted to be their friend. I don't know why they'd run from me."

Anon looked at her. "Have your animal friends told you nothing about Fight or Flight?"

"What?"
Anon palm smacked his forehead. "When an animal feels cornered, it's instinct will be either to run or fight back, i.e Fight or Flight. When the Canterlot animals saw you running, they didn't know you and turned tail was the first thing that came to mind."

Fluttershy hung her head. "Oh that would explain a lot."
You're sanity slippage helped a lot," he deadpanned.

"But what did I do?!? demanded Pinkie Pie.
"Not everyone appreciates being told to play something they're uncomfortable with. Nor do they appreciate being forced to dance out of the blue. Ponyville doesn't extend to the whole world so your shenanigans won't be passed off in the blink of an eye. Heck, in one instant you were almost arrested."

"WAS NOT!"
"So that wasn't a cop that told you the store was closed so soon after you got into the face of a cool and possibly scarred him for life, prompting the mother to call said cop?"

Pinkie started to answer defiantly...then considered saying "Ok, I'll give you that."

"Considering it livened up the party, we'll let that one go. But ah just one more thing," rasped Anon. He turned to Rarity. "Blueblud- Blueba- Blueby-" he smacked his chin- "Blueblood knows he's a jerk because it's his 'Fight' instinct."

"What?"
"Every place has gold diggers, Rarity. You aren't the first mare wanting to get all cozy with him because of his title. The first ones he let down gently, they didn't take it lightly. I suspect he was probably tired of the whole 'fall in love with prince for monetary gain' shtick.

Now let us commence with the trial."

Author's Note:

Just Swarm of the Century and that's it for Season 1.

Come Season 2 and I'm going to have some fun.

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