And Carry a Big Torch (1)
1
“Almost there!” Pinkie Pie grinned as the Friendship Express rounded the corner, beginning the giddy uphill climb towards Canterlot.
“Y’know, someday we should go to the city just to go,” Applejack smirked ruefully, raising her Stetson’s brim from over her eyes. She yawned and stretched, wanting to limber up now the spires of the capital were drifting into view.
“Could set something up with Mom and Dad, if you’d like,” Twilight offered over the top of her book. “We’ll probably need to unwind after tonight.”
“I love the old hometown and all,” Spike said next to Rarity, “but if you guys’re looking to relax it’s probably the last place you wanna go.”
That made Rarity chuckle, which almost gave him an out of body experience.
“It’s just a party though, right?” Fluttershy asked anxiously. “I mean, true, the guest list is rather…” She trailed off uncertainly.
“Insane,” Rainbow supplied from the next seat. Her forelegs were still behind her head, daylight sheeting between the windows and mountain peaks distorting off her shades.
“Not all of them!” Twilight insisted then checked to make sure she hadn’t said that too loudly.
“Oh right, I’m thinking of the other politicians who tried to flood Manehattan, or crush us all to death with the planet’s magnetic field.”
“There’s a Daily Show episode watin’ to happen,” Applejack murmured as she watched New Town getting closer and closer.
“I prefer to think of them as high concept party tricks,” Pinkie beamed. It wavered slightly. “Really high concept.”
“It won’t come to that,” Twilight assured. “We were asked to act as liaisons.”
“Which is princess-speak for ‘run security‘,” Dash countered with a feral grin.
“And if that was what Princess Celestia meant don’t you think she’d have asked us to pack the Elements?” Twilight tried patiently.
“And I enjoy a challenge.” Grins should not get more feral, and yet.
“Like what, staying still at a political summit?”
“Staying still,” Dash muttered, just in case her eyeroll wasn’t obvious from behind the shades. “We’re gonna be in the same room as Magnus Magnate the Magneto Mage, Twilight.”
“Aaaaaghshh-shh-shh!” Twilight hissed, hooves and wings flailing.
She looked frantically over her shoulder to make sure nopony had heard that, which just made the other passengers further up the car wonder why she was looking over here. “It’s a secret summit! If somepony hears he and the Sub-Mariner are going to be in the capital tonight it could spark mass panic! We have to be inconspicuous!”
“Yeah, cause a princess goin’ ‘aaaaaghshh-shh-shh!’, that’s totally not conspicuous.” Dash lowered her shades to make the eyeroll more obvious this time.
“I’m not the one dressing like a secret agent,” Twilight retorted.
“Your loss!
Rarity’s eyes glinted. “Now there’s a thought. How do either of you feel about tuxedos?”
“One of the few things almost as cool as me.” Dash shifted into one of her other relaxing poses before sitting up suddenly. “Wait, why? You offering?”
“Would you sit still for it?” Rarity raised a brow.
“You’ve got my measurements!”
“Not for a tux I don’t! I mean, we are talking about a proper tuxedo, yes? Not just a pair of lapels?”
“No, but I could make 'em work.” Dash adjusted her shades. “Especially with these.”
“I’ll take some of that action!” Pinkie bounced in her seat excitedly, almost throwing off Twilight’s attempted to organise her saddlebag. “A tux is one of the few skit outfits I don’t have! Gotta be ready for anything!”
“Dunno if there’s much prep you can do for this kinda thing,” Applejack said gingerly. They all looked at her. “Not sayin’ it’s our first Canterlot rodeo but, well, y’know, these are pretty big-league guests! An’ not all of ‘em are friendly.”
“I’ve got four binders in here we can study,” Twilight beamed, tapping her saddlebag.
“And you didn’t have us pouring over them the entire ride?” Rarity leaned over to place a hoof to her forehead. “Are you feeling alright, darling?”
“Yes!” Twilight tried not to sound too defensive while also looking askance at the window. “I just got really into this volume on Wakandan influence on African history. Fascinating stuff!”
“Ask a silly question,” Dash leered.
“We should probably try not to,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Those binders got any plans for what to do if things start goin’ south?” Applejack asked as she tightened her own saddle bag. She didn’t sound especially hopeful.
“They’re, ah, kinda all about that not happening,” Twilight admitted, wondering why she felt sheepish but feeling it was probably the right response.
“It’s just a summit,” Spike assured.
“A very exclusive soirée,” Rarity corrected with an extra thick layer of Canterlot accent.
“Whatever it is,” Applejack said bluntly but patiently, “it’s a big deal meetin’ of leaders from four secret kingdoms. Which is sorta a misnomer if ya think about it, what with one of ‘em being a superhero, the only secret one bein’ the folks literally callin’ themselves the Unknowns, an’ the other two bein’ whatcha might call supervillains. Each an’ every one of ‘em good enough to go hoof to hoof with the princesses, who, let’s be real, invited ‘em over ‘cause their deals with Equestria probably ain’t friendly enough. Did I mention the two supervillains yet? An’ we’re gonna be in the middle.”
Even Dash didn’t really have a cool rejoinder for that.
“But the important thing is to have fun, right?” Pinkie said eventually. She looked from carefully blank face to carefully blank face as they slid into the darkness of the last tunnel. “Right? Guys?”
2
The ride up to the palace was mercifully uneventful, but then it usually was. Usually.
Twilight glanced out the coach window and raised an eyebrow as, yes, she hadn’t imagined it, they were passing through Palace Shades, but not taking the turn up the hill. She opened the driver’s side window and leaned out. “Excuse me, is everything okay?”
“Yes, your highness,” the nearest one assured over the clatter of wheels and hooves. “We’ve orders to take you a more discreet route.”
“That why we’ve gotta be cooped up?” Dash muttered irritably, wings flapping slightly to mirror the sentiment. Flying through Canterlot was still a thrill to her after so many missions, and switching right from one (admittedly cushy) box to another (even cushier) rankled. Plus, she always loved improvising a dramatic entrance for Princess For Real Celestia.
“Um.” Fluttershy was sitting up to peer further ahead and wishing she wasn’t. “There’s road works? Hello?”
“Road works?” Applejack joined her, squinting at the signs plastered all over construction equipment and tangled creepers. Oh good, some of them had thorns. She banged a hoof against the glass. “Hey!”
“I’m sure it’s just a detour,” Twilight assured.
“Heh, yeah, that’s Canterlot traffic for ya,” Spike chuckled. “Good thing there’s like a hundred ways into almost everywhere. Man, I think these’ve been up…”
He tailed off uncertainly, locking eyes with Twilight as they did the same anxious math. “…since…we were kids…”
The inside of the carriage turned yellow for a second as it passed two large flood warning signs. They could hear moving water on the other side of the shadows.
“Maybe they wanna show us a waterslide first?” Pinkie ventured.
“I think the windows are locked,” Fluttershy said, high pitched and a bit too quickly. There was a click from the one Twilight had been talking through. “Yep.”
“Not for long!” Dash flung herself onto her back, starling Rarity and Pinkie off their seat and lining her hind legs up with the window. “AJ, I got the left!”
“Loud an’ clear, RD!” Applejack assumed the same position, facing the opposite way. “On three—!”
“Wait!” Twilight threw up a hoof.
The drivers had untethered themselves and were now shoving against the sides to get the carriage into some kind of position. Dash sat up sharply at that whispering only moving foliage makes. The creepers were pulling themselves aside like stage curtains.
With the grace of chorus girls, the trestles slid backwards and into a neat row behind the one with the large KEEP OUT sign, then all of them flattened with a violence that made the Elements even jumpier. The feeling of the coach rolling over this new ramp and towards the water didn’t help.
Twilight tried to peer through the locked window, straining to make out what was ahead of them. The hidden entrance led into a bend in the hill’s river, fuelled from the castle’s waterfall. There was still sunlight but it was sheeting through thick trees, probably deliberately grown for the purposes of concealing whatever this was. There was the vague childlike thrill of being inside a tent.
She wondered how many neighbourhood ponies knew this was here, or if it was just some enormously well-kept secret. The shape of the area helped too, so many of Palace Shades’ streets branched off the road up to the mountain that nopony just passing through would think one of them was…well, this was Canterlot, so it was probably a secret way into the castle.
She looked at the back of the surrounding buildings visible through trees. Something to do with utilities, right? Smart! No resident or passer-by would really have a reason to hang about, then. And the mud around the equipment was so covered in wheel ruts and hoof prints that there’d be practically no evidence of the coach being here.
…still not a comforting thought. Although she was pretty sure Princess Celestian trickery didn’t involve drowning your faithful student and all her friends.
Prooobably.
Only one of the boring building’s rears pushed through the trunks and close to the riverbank, and it was walled off by chain link fencing. Which now glided apart like spaceship doors as a jetty rose out of the water, its rearmost plank extending to link up with a strategically worn gash in the brickwork. One of the loading bay doors rose, allowing two Pegasi and a Unicorn to jog out, pushing what looked like the base of another coach but with larger wheels. The Pegasi took flight, towing the thing by two cables while the Unicorn slowed, her horn glowing and casting something on the wheels.
“Uh oh…” Spike murmured as the contraption reached the end of the jetty.
They all gasped as the glowing wheels flattened and began to rotate at the same instant it went over. Instead of splashing straight to the bottom of the river it now floated on the surface, kept aloft by the rapidly spinning magic, and from being swept away by the Pegasi handlers pulling it towards the coach.
“Awesome!” Rainbow admitted.
“She’s the avatar of the sun an’ all,” Applejack grumbled under her breath, “but ain’t she ever heard of a doorbell?”
“Oh hush, you love it,” Rarity chuckled.
The lead driver looked in through the window as the raft bumped into the bank in front of the coach. “Sorry ladies,” his muffled voice came through the glass, “standard safety precaution. All hooves and wings inside the coach when, ah…docking I suppose, we’ve never really come up with a name for this. It being secret and all. But it’s all on timers! The windows’ll unlock when you’re on the way, and the doors once you’re in.”
“In where?” Fluttershy quavered.
“We understand officer,” Twilight said, returning his salute. She settled back in her seat just in time to get rocked forward slightly as the crew’s last shove rolled the coach onto the raft.
The Pegasi landed only to unclip their towlines, hovering as magi-tech clamps materialized around the coach’s wheels, securing it. They counted down the Unicorn on the jetty with five synchronized hoofwaves. She smirked, saluting the Elements, and released her horn’s hold on the raft, which began to glide along the tree lined river. Rainbow gave her a wink as they sailed past.
“Yeah, alright,” Applejack admitted. “This is pretty rad.”
“Kind of relaxing!” Fluttershy agreed, watching the trees and sunlight tinge each other green and gold.
“They could probably make a killing renting this place out,” Rarity smiled. “The romantic boat rides in Union Park have nothing on this!”
“Wonder what’s waiting for us,” Pinkie said, voice muffled by her nose being pressed against the glass.
“If I’m not back in five, just wait longer,” Dash smirked, sliding their window open and popping her neck before beginning to clamber out.
“Rainbow!” Twilight squawked. “Hooves and wings inside the ride at all—! Dash! Diplomacy! Decorum!”
“Can’t hear you, roof riding!”
“Uuugh!”
“Ya really want a stir-crazy Rainbow Dash in here with us?” Applejack smirked.
“Okay, I heard that.” Dash leaned over the side to stick her upside-down tongue out at the workhorse before shooting off.
Not that far and not that fast. The tree funnel or whatever this was didn’t hem them in but there wasn’t a huge amount of room for stunts and nowhere to land except the raft. What structures they could make out through the foliage seemed to be fencing, the sounds of muffled civilisation on the other side. Eventually it petered out, taking the fencing with it as forest glades and rocks took over.
The wheels whirred away under the river sounds and birdsong, carrying the raft faster than if it had just been drifting along but not so much the scenery lost it’s serenity. Dash returned a couple of times and then spent the rest of the trip on the roof, next to their luggage, pointing out cool landmarks she’d seen up ahead and hum-grunting Smoke on the Water.
“Maybe Mr. Mariner won’t be so…touchy if he comes up this way,” Fluttershy said as they drifted around another bend.
“I thought he was on our side?” Pinkie looked around. “Y’know. These days.”
Twilight nodded. “He was on a Befrienders roster for a while. But yes, that temper of his should absolutely be a factor. And so should his willingness to take part.”
“Do we give Magnate a gold star just for turnin’ up too?” Applejack scowled.
“I didn’t know he had his own country,” Rarity said eventually to break the awkward silence, which AJ clearly regretted causing.
“Not until last year,” Twilight explained. “Genosha has its own dubious history, including outright slavery.”
Applejack’s brows went up. “An’ that makes conquerin’ it okay?”
“No,” Twilight said quietly. “And that’s…kind of the thing. He didn’t. Conquer it, I mean. He campaigned for the position. And won.”
A second silence. Eventually Dash's scowling face appeared upside down at the window.
“You guy’s are being super quiet in there. Tryin’ to air guitar up here. You’re making it weird!”
“That’s better, I guess?” Fluttershy tried.
“Maybe?” Twilight shrugged. “Not that it makes up for what he’s done in the past, but it seems to have reined him in. For now, anyway.”
“They’ve seen his outfit, right?” Rarity raised a brow.
“Hey, guy’s a gifted orator, dunno what to tell you.” Twilight levitated a sheet from her binders. Magnate’s profile included a clipping of his cutie mark, a scroll with a shield like emblem ringed by a laurel reef. “Public speaking is part of his special talent. Guess he just got tired of trying to conquer the place.”
“Who says he didn’t?” Applejack grumbled then sighed. “I dunno. Mutants have somewhere to go now, I guess. Ignore me, that guy just gets under my skin.”
“For completely understandable reason!” Rarity huffed. “Charming grey though his eyes may be, his views are abhorrent. A disgrace to everything it means to be a Unicorn! Do you know we got one of those vile pamphlets of his through our letter box once? You can’t imagine how furious that made me when I saw footage of him bringing down that airship!”
“I can,” Twilight said softly, frowning. “We got one too. Shining got in trouble for fighting other foals that talked…like that. And then I found out Magnus taught on and off at magic school for a while. Not when I was going, but it’s so hard to imagine a pony going there and turning out that…twisted. Sometimes it makes me wonder if--”
Spike scowled. “No. Way,” he said firmly.
“Oh darling!” Rarity reached over to give Twilight’s hoof a squeeze.
Dash looked between the two Unicorns, still upside down. “You two know we’ve never thought of ya like that, right?”
“Never ever!” Fluttershy agreed vehemently. (For her.)
“An’ that’s the truth!” Applejack agreed. “He shows up tonight, you two are gonna show him what Unicorn class is. An’ we’ll all show him what a true pony is.”
“Hay yeah!” Dash gave an upside down fist pump. She cocked her head to the side. “…that’s the dude’s cutie mark? Looks like the thingy on his helmet.”
“Yep!” Twilight flipped it around for her. “Got an interview in here somewhere where he claims it’s to show the Hexquestrian movement rising to it’s true place in the chain of destiny, but I figure it’s just because he had to have something to offset his horn.”
“That’s not all it offsets,” Rarity said slyly, which set the entire coach laughing, even Spike, who wasn’t totally sure what it meant.
“So what about the others?” Pinkie asked when they’d settled down. “They’re cat people, right? ’Cause I’ve got a ton of dog material but I dunno if that’s not equally insensitive. Gotta know your audience!”
“Wakanda and the rest of the continent have a high feline tribal population, yes,” Twilight supplied, “but the current holders of the Panther Priest title are zebras! Prince T’Challa’s also been a Befriender and is probably going to be the most diplomatic of the bunch. Aqualusia is on good terms with them, so that should help too.”
“Oh, that’s not so bad,” Applejack perked up slightly. “What about these Unknowns fellas?”
“Yeah, how come we never heard of ‘em before?” Spike asked. Beat. “Oh.”
“No, it’s alright,” Twilight assured shifting through more binders. “They’re so reclusive they make my pre-Ponyville days look like a Bridleway musical! The crown’s had some dealings with them before but it’s only in the last decade they’ve had much contact with Equestria. What we’re working with here is mostly from Dr. River Reeds files.”
She sighed, wistfully clutching a sheaf of papers to her chest. “Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a day alone with that stallion’s archive!”
“Ballpark it for us?” Rarity trilled, drinking in the sudden blush in Twilight’s face like ambrosia.
“Anyway!” The sheets moved in a purple blur. “The Unknowns are a race of meta-normals created by extra-terrestrial science! Before anypony says anything about B-movies or whatnot, we should all take a second to appreciate how six magic jewels made from six ancient rocks to cure the Mare in the Moon sounds to normal people.”
“Yeah, but it’s cool when we do it,” countered Rainbow Dash, who was still upside down.
“And I’m assumin’ there’s a reason for the name?” Applejack ventured.
“Yep! Their culture revolves around a strange crystal derived compound they call…” Twilight scanned another page before turning it to them to take in the blueprints of what looked like a futuristic brazier and some speculative chemical equations. “Terrigan Mist. Something in their biology reacts to it almost like a Hex-factor in Exquestrians, gifting them with special abilities!”
Another blur and the group were now passing around a page with before/after photos of a little filly now happily made of scales and fins.
“When a generation comes of age they take part in a ceremony ending with their exposure to the mist, and celebrate their new powers. According to these notes, while Dr. Rivers has observed certain archetypes repeating, it’s never clear what exactly you’ll get. They can even develop physical combinations with animals unrelated to their powers, hence their chosen name. They embrace this mystery because they effectively are the Unknown.”
“Has the right amount of flair to it,” Rarity said, craning over to examine more photos of Unknown pre-adolescents. “Oh, they’re adorable! Is that make up? On their faces I mean.”
“Uh, some of them, I think, yeah…” Twilight tried to find the right paper. “Ah, here we go. An Unknown can develop coat marks, like zebra stripes or streaks in pony hair. Others also choose some as a sort of cutie mark. It doesn’t go into much detail, but they have an amazing iconograph. Guess I know what the after-dinner conversations gonna be about!”
“So…do they not have magic until their big day?” Fluttershy asked.
“They actually have a very big emphasis on education and martial skills,” Twilight beamed. “You know, make sure their young can look after themselves with or without powers. And their civilization is centuries ahead of us! And that’s without an amazingly diverse range of gifts that can be used in any number of combinations!”
“Attilan,” Applejack read off one sheet. “Wow! Check out those buildings, they look straight outta Star Trot or somethin’!”
“Nerd,” Dash snorted. Twilight’s magic shut the window in her face.
“Their capital colony,” she explained.
“So they’ve got more than one,” Appljack noted. “How come we never ran into ‘em before? These folks look cool an’ all but they are…” She glanced at Rarity for a polite way to put it.
“Distinctive,” the fashionista supplied.
“See those clouds in the background?” Twilight’s wings fluttered excitedly. “The Unknows are so advanced they created anti-gravity magi-turbines. Their colonies fly! Might even be capable of space travel! Attilan itself is somewhere over the Himaneighan mountains!”
“So they live off the ground and just don’t come down?” Fluttershy cocked her head.
“Ah.” Twilight’s ears folded slightly. “Well, we’re pretty integrated now but…”
“But zebras an’ other folks still find it easier to make it in the big cities,” Applejack said diplomatically, nodding. “Guess that’s part of the summit then. Give these folks a chance to give us a chance.”
“Leave it to me,” Rainbow breezed, wriggling through the window Spike had opened for her. “I’ll charm the tattoos off ‘em! Who’re they sending?”
“King Black Bolt and two royal interpreters,” Twilight read. “Queen Medusa and Princess Crystal.”
“Interpreters?” Rarity asked. “Is there a language barrier? Just making sure how charming my gestures need to be!”
“Oh no, King Black Bolt understands Equestrian-English and plenty of other languages just fine.” Twilight slid her binders back into her saddlebag to buy time.
How to put it? How else?
“Iiiiit’s more that his power is a form of energy so great that the sound of his voice is a sonic shockwave that could bring down a mountain? And, ah, that’s just if he whispers.”
Dead silence.
“So no knock knock jokes,” Pinkie said eventually. “Or, like…laughter at all. That thing that is so very useful for bringing people together.”
“You have many other sterling qualities, darling,” Rarity assured through her own bewilderment.
“Our security liaisons have the most experience with the Unknowns on the planet,” Twilight said apologetically, “they’ll have plenty of ways to handle King Bolt’s, uh…”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Dash inadvertently bailed her out, “what liaisons? This is an Elements gig! We’re running security tonight!”
“I, w-well, I never said that,” Twilight stammered. There was a very specific reason she’d put off bringing up their backup, and part of it was pouting at her right now.
“Just better keep out from under my hooves is all,” Dash grumbled, flopping back into her seat.
“Magnate’s gonna be there, Dash, we’ll need all the help we can get.” Applejack glanced out the window as the light changed slightly. “Heads up!”
Another magic tangle of vines was coming apart, revealing a cave mouth hidden in the side of the hill. Their raft’s propellers magically course corrected and gently but firmly turned them towards it.
***
They were in darkness for a second before torches flickered to life around them.
“Some operation…” Dash muttered appreciatively as her eyesight, sharpest of the group, made out cave mouths around practically the whole cavern and walkways above them.
Canterlot guards were moving around on a large platform made out of the walkways, some now manning cranes and swinging different segments over to form a jetty and ramp.
“Hey, do you think…” Spike looked over at Twilight with amazed eyes. “Do you think we’re in the Niche?”
“Could be!” Twilight said enthusiastically.
“I thought that was just an old mare’s tale,” Rarity said as the raft slowed to a stop at the jetty. The entire coach shook slightly as the clamps released.
“So’re most of the things we see,” Applejack smiled, adjusting her saddlebag as she hopped onto the planks.
***
Most of Canterlot’s water was underground, torrents from the sea or mountain streams fed through the maze of caves that honeycombed this part of the kingdom. The few local rivers had been overtaken by mining, then the growth of the city when the towns built around that mining banded together.
Part of what encouraged the camps to get along was the fact it was just easier to share the River Prime than bicker over it or find another source. Suddenly they were the largest city in the kingdom and in need of a lot more than fresh water.
The new capital of Equestria hadn’t been the easiest to get to. You could sail from the oceans straight into the Prime, but it was curving and narrowed as it went. Even the best freighter captains had to be careful and the only real docking point was a cove just before the hill that would become the castle. Which had given the Crown an idea.
As mining fell out of necessity Queen Palladium re-purposed the mines nearest the coast to act as docks, allowing ships to stop safely in the caves and transport the cargo underground for proper distribution in the city. Elaborate but effective, Canterlot in a nutshell.
The three resultant “Nooks” had been vital to Canterlot’s survival before the advent of the steam engine and the airship, allowing the River Prime to become a proving ground for university rowing teams.
There’d always been whispers of a secret fourth Nook, somewhere in the city itself that allowed the princesses to…do whatever you did with secret boat things. But it was Canterlot, ponies liked a little mystery.
***
“Ahoy there!” called a friendly voice over the rattle of guards pushing the coach up the ramp. The Elements looked up to see Shining Armour standing at the top of the stairs, in full uniform sans his helmet.
“You jerk!” Twilight laughed, galloping up to hug-punch Shining. “Why didn’t you tell me the Niche is real?!”
“Who said this was it?” Shining chuckled, hoofbumping Spike’s offered knuckles. “Welcome back to Canterlot, guys. Thought we’d smuggle you in this way because why should our guests have all the fun?”
“Plus y’still hear stories about what happened last time old Mags tried to use the front door,” Rainbow smirked. “Mind you, the Wonderbolts were outta town at the time.“
“Thank the Great Pony,“ Shining smirked back. Dash grinned now. She and Shining had developed an unspoken sort of friendship (sometimes rivalry) since she’d made it into the Wonderbolts. Game respecting game.
“We’re not having the summit in here are we?” Fluttershy asked, looking around. The cavern was well illuminated but still a dim sort of industrial. “I mean it’s very atmospheric but is it really the best example of Canterlot architecture?”
“More the best way to avoid scaring everypony half to death,” Shining said. “The Panthers have stayed in town often enough, but everyone agreed this was the best way to get into the city. Make sure none of the parties feel like the others are being treated better.”
“The Mariner’ll feel right at home I’m sure,” Applejack smiled as they trotted towards an elevator, admiring the precision a crane was using to swing a boat over to another tunnel, where it slipped into the water and sailed away. “Is Cadence here too?”
“No,” Shining Armor said a bit too firmly and shut his eyes to amend it. “The Crystal Ponies need her to keep everything running while I’m playing soldier.”
“This summit is to make some of these people less of a danger,” Twilight said gently, placing a hoof on his shoulder. Shining smiled slightly and nodded.
“On that note,” Dash cut in with her usual delicate touch, “word is there’s another security team around these parts. What’s the deal?”
“That they’re something old and you girls are something new,” Shining smiled.
“Flatterer. So where are they?”
“That’s what I’m wondering,” Shining half muttered looking up at a clock built into a stalactite. “We were hoping you’d arrive together. But then, we knew you both could get tangled up in practically anything.”
“Somepony at the station diiiid try to sell everypony on the third return of Sombra,” Pinkie recalled. “He was loud and jumping around a lot. AJ and Dashie had to tie him up in his own robes!”
“Lovely detailing on his sign’s apocalyptic fresco though,” Rarity said.
“Well I’m sure they’ll be along!” Twilight smiled nervously, telekinetically scooping Spike onto her back and jogging in place to take advantage of the lucky break while she still could. “Boy what a long ride, my dogs are barkin’, how about we go say hi to the princess and not get in a fight? …over the…delicious lunch she’s no doubt prepared for us! You know how Fluttershy can be if she doesn’t get her kale fix, ‘miright?”
“It’s just such a rich source of vitamins C and K…” Fluttershy whimpered on the verge of apologetic tears.
“Wait, you feel that?” Dash squinted at one of the caves. “Something’s going on with the air…”
“Finally!” Shining sighed. “Guess they took the long way around even with Ms. Storm’s powers. Smart. Considerate, even.”
The group could feel more than hear something like engines in their ears now. Water rippled and dust drifted from one of the bays between parked coaches and boats.
“Oh boy…” Twilight mumbled.
Dash’s eye twitched in time with a violent wing flair. “Storm?”
“BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!”
A flaming Galactaurus mask burst into existence in front of them. The Elements became a shrieking tangle of saddlebags and flailing hooves as the Fantasti-Chariot materialised in it’s bay.
“Johnny!” the Phantasmal Pony snapped as the Thing rolled his ever lovin’ blue eyes.
The Horseshoe Torch tumbled cackling out of the air and onto his back, snuffing his flames as he struck the ground and laughed at what he had wrought. “Your faces! I can’t!”
“Professional as ever, Storm,” Shining muttered, holding out a hoof.
“Storm, huh?” Johnny snorted, accepting and being hauled to all fours. “Lookit Captain Shiny, all formal! I remember back when you and Soarin’ used to get together and plot revenge on Reverse Thrust. Didn’t have a problem with a lil’ scare between friends back then.”
“Only because you made Reverse Thrust scream like a...” Shining Armor trailed off as he realised not only that Sue Storm was trotting towards him but that the baleful eyes of the less tolerant Elements (including his sister) were right behind him.
“I’d apologise captain, but well…” Mr. Fantastic stretched over to shake his hoof and shrug. “Hello ladies, and…Spike, isn’t it? Good to see you all! Do you mind if I take notes? I’ve been dying to see the Magic of Friendship in action!”
“Gimme a tire iron and I’ll give your burnout there one hay of a demonstration!” Rainbow Dash snarled, pulling herself loose of the group and starting towards Johnny.
“What’s that Grim Skies old buddy?!” Johnny called hastily. “A sidekick?! At your age?! I dunno, that’s a very niche--”
“You know he’s going to make you pay for that,” Sue deadpanned as a rainbow contrail shot between her and Reed and began dancing around the Thing as he tried to haul the Chariot, made of four flying machines, into a straighter position.
“Right, but I’ll survive the hit is the point,” Johnny said with a wink. “Hey, AJ!”
“Hey, goofball,” Applejack muttered. She stopped stomping past him to grab his utility collar, pull back on the rubbery but still sturdy material, then release it to thwack him on the nose.
Her mood brightened as she trotted up to the Fantasti-Chariot. “Whoa! Nice ride! Solid rigs but she looks light as a baby bird’s feather! You an’ the doc throw this together, Mr. Grim?”
“Stretch builds ‘em, I fly ‘em,” the Thing rumbled, “But I provide vital creative input, this is true. Y’know there wasn’t a single cup holder in this crate ‘til I—Yeah, nice to see ya too, squirt, geez, calm down, you’ll hurt yourself!”
“Just wanna show ya I’m prime time material, sir!” Dash gabbled happily from where she was balancing on his back. “You’re strong, I’m fast, the perfect combo! And I’m real handy too! I can carry your bags, polish your bricks, get your dry cleaning…”
“…keep talkin’.”
***
“Lovely to see you again too,” Fluttershy was saying as she and Sue shook hooves. “Twilight said you’ve met these people before?”
“We have history, yeah,” Sue smiled ruefully. “There’s only really one bad card in the deck, though. Magnate doesn’t need to hurl battleships at you to make it feel like he won.”
“Is he as scary as everypony says…?” Fluttershy asked nervously.
“He’s a genius,” Reed said simply. He looked into Sue’s eyes and squeezed her hoof a little harder than he needed to. “But that needs something else to make it more than it is. Magnus sees a very real problem in the world, but without other people to help shape his solutions they might simply break it. Princess Celestia is hoping this Genoshia business is a good sign.”
“Does he like animals?” Fluttershy asked, figuring it was worth a shot.
“I believe he tried to feed the Hex-Ponies to a pterodactyl swarm once,” Reed said far too cheerfully and grunted as Sue elbowed him. Behind them the Thing had finally adjusted the Chariot but was now trying to stop a curious Pinkie Pie from popping out of wheel axels and glove compartments to ask about random buttons.
“Are you really sure now’s the best time for this?” Rarity asked, standing next to a parked coach with Johnny.
“Hello to you too.” Johnny raised a brow. “Best time for what?”
“Oh, do come on.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “The fate of Equestrian and Unknown alike may hinge on tonight and one of the meta-normals overseeing everything is supposed to not only have eyes for the first girl he ever loved.”
“Crystal? Here?” Johnny put a hoof to his heart. “Zounds! Don’t tell me the mice have eaten the pumpkin?! I still must be fitted for my gown! Quick, do you have the keys to your boutique?!”
“I have a hammer in my bag.”
Johnny made a purring-growl and waggled his specifically groomed eyebrows.
“Johnny!” Rarity stomped her hoof. (But not too hard.)
“You’re the one who used the word meta-normal in an adult conversation,” Johnny snorted, folding his forelegs as he leant against the coach. “Oooh, lookit me, I’m too hardcore to just say super-pony, come check out my black 'n' white seagull photography!”
“They were songbirds and I got them in a set, I didn’t take them, they gave that antechamber character!” Rarity swatted at him, huffing when it just made him laugh. “Oh, you…you…you you! I’d let you crash and burn but there’s another mare involved, and I can’t simply turn my back on her!”
“You know we’ve been talking for months. Like, talking-talking!”
“Yes, very Hallmark.” Rarity sighed through her nose, looking at him sadly. “I can’t begin to understand how important Crystal is to you, but tonight is about so much more than just you two. Talking and rekindling an old flame are very different things. Sue and the others must’ve told you that.”
“Sue and the others trust me, believe it or not,” Johnny smirked. Then side-eyed a crane. “Well. The others. I think Grim doesn’t care unless I wipe out and he can’t tape it.”
“And you’ve thought about how Crystal is going to feel, of course?” Rarity said sharply.
“Rarity.” Johnny calmly put a hoof on her shoulder, smiling at her confused, grumpy expression. “Thank you for caring.”
“Thank you for getting your smelly grease monkey hooves all over my nice white coat.”
“Just a few months ago you were admiring how I can burn myself completely clean.”
“Oh, so you won’t smudge, I’ll just smell like a coalmine accident for no readily apparent reason. Cheers.”
“You asked if you could make a dress that did the same thing.”
“Could’ve been worse.” Her eyes flashed. “I could’ve invested in slap bracelets.”
“They came in tiger stripes!”
“Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in you,” Rarity sighed.
“Maybe it’d help if you wrote it down.” Johnny put a little extra twinkle into his eyes. “We could read it together, have a laugh.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “And Crystal makes three?”
“If she wants to get together again, yeah.”
Johnny looked around to make sure the rest of their groups were busy with shenanigans and smiled at her. “It’s been years, Rarity. I’ve had way longer to come up with reasons this is a bad idea than you ever will.”
“That’s your big pitch?” she scoffed.
“I’m not trying to talk anypony into anything.” Johnny shrugged. “Way I see it, if it’s meant to happen it will. Don’t pretend you don’t get that.”
“That’s cheating,” Rarity pouted.
“For real? You’re a good friend. And I hope you’ll be her’s too.” Johnny let out a long breath as he glanced at Rainbow Dash now perched on a crane, cracking up at whatever Pinkie Pie had said to flummox Reed. “And honestly, Crystal isn’t who I’m sweating today.”
“That I can get behind,” Rarity smiled. “Rainbow’s been pretty tolerant of late.”
“…of me?”
“She’s stopped making cloud busts of your head and…well, I pinkie promised not to tell and it’d only give you nightmares.”
“Too late, saw her do the same thing to squad mates she hated in college.” Johnny frowned. “Did she really do that?”
“Not to your actual face, at least!” Rarity giggled. “But I mean it, we’ve been through a lot these last few months. I’d like to think we’ve grown a little too. And since we’ll have to work together, she’ll have to do more than just tolerate you, so--”
Johnny blinked. “She tolerates me?”
“I think it’s more than she’s had long enough to accept you’re a part of our lives.”
“I am?”
“We’re friends, dummy,” Rarity smirked, throwing a foreleg around his neck for a cuddle. “Maybe you could show up in Ponyville more, we could use this summit to start immunizing her!”
“To what…?”
“You! Maybe some kind of subconscious connection to peace and your presence…”
“There’s the evil mastermind I’ve come to rely on,” Johnny laughed. “Okay, make you a deal. I follow your Rainbow lead and you give me and Crystal space. Look at it this way: everything goes okay and you could wind up with two more people to judge for the price of one.”
“Tempting,” Rarity agreed. “Nothing I can say to make you abandon your crazy love ship?”
“I say that after sticking me on foalsitting Sweetie Belle last week you owe me.”
“I take it back, you’re a ruthless business colt,” Rarity muttered.
“Any tips to get me started? With Dash I mean. She used to love it when I’d--”
“Don’t!” Rarity’s hoof flew to his lips. It tasted like porcelain and cucumber water. “Your problem right there is you’re thinking of the Rainbow you knew in school. A period of her life she hates worse than jazz flutes. Bad place to start.”
“Whatever she told you, that jazz flute thing is not my fault,” Johnny said too quickly.
“Mmm, will dig into that later,” Rarity agreed without missing a beat. “I know she hasn’t made getting to know the new her at all easy, Johnny, but that’s who you really want to know. I understand what makes you want to be friends again is very likely something from flight school, but it’s long past time to accept that that ship has—”
“We’re loosin’ her! Heads below!”
Everypony flinched at a worker’s yell and the screech of metal as he jumped out of his crane’s cab, just in time to avoid the jibboom of the boat it had been struggling with smashing through the windscreen. The impact snapped the two rear cables of its platform, sending the ship’s end swinging down towards the workers on the jetty under it.
“I don’t think so!” The Thing smacked a clenched hoof against his segment of the Fantasti-Chariot, popping open a trunk.
He snagged an industrial strength coil of cable in his mouth and swung it across the cavern, smashing the hook on the end through timber like it was a pillow. He didn’t even budge as the boat rocked with inertia.
A few startled cheers went up over the grinding of the crane as he dragged it and the still trapped ship around so the rudder could park itself on more solid ground. The Thing wrapped a hoof around the cable and gave an almost bored tug, bursting the cab open like a paper bag as he hauled the boat out.
“—sailed,” Rarity winced.
***
“Great!” Shining Armor sighed, jabbing an intercom button in the elevator’s housing. “Torque Wrench, you awake? Gonna need a maintenance crew to the Niche. Yeah, number four finally went. It was a boat. Uh…nah, don’t bother, figure it’s better we take her apart and recycle what’s left. Okay.”
He trotted up to the Thing and shook a hoof almost the size of his head. “Nice save, Captain Grim Skies.”
“Eh, any distinguished colt of character woulda done it.” The Thing jerked his head at the elevator with a sound like a boulder having a coughing fit. “Didn’t cut quite the same rugged figure last time I was down here, though. Maybe I’d better take the backway out an’ hoof it up the hill. Should still fit in at least one of those ol’ passageways.”
Spike shook his head. “Seriously, how many secret tunnels does one castle need?”
“We didn’t have a Spark Inspirations freight elevator last time,” Shining smiled, beckoning everyone to follow him. “And we’ll probably have to shell out for some of their cranes too. If that old rust bucket finally tapped out the rest can’t have long to go, but one thing at a time.”
He pressed the button and the doors whipped open like an aesthetically pleasing breeze.
“Alright, here’s the deal everypony: this place needs to stay a secret so we’re going up in groups! Makes it less weird if there’s only about four or so ponies climbing out of a suit of armour at time. Castle staff have been briefed for your arrival and can lead you to your rooms, so pick your partners and hop in. Today’s soup is Vichyssoise!”
“Carry your bags?” Johnny offered Rainbow Dash.
“Got enough baggage thanks to you already,” Dash smirked, following the Thing into the elevator with Pinkie Pie and Sousaphone Storm. “See ya up top! Whether I want to or not!”
“Promising start,” Rarity grinned as Johnny’s smile became slightly more genuine. “Fillies love it when a stallion makes that offer.”
Shining squinted at Twilight. “…do I wanna know?”
“They used to date,” Twilight sighed.
“Oh sun and moon! And you couldn’t have given me a heads up?”
“Maybe if somepony had told me he was gonna show off his fancy secret submarine base…” Twilight grumbled. Shining’s eyes stayed glaring at the new coach and raft being set up as his cheeks reddened.
The remains of two of Equestria’s greatest teams just stood there outside the elevator, everypony desperately resisting the urge to be the one to tap their hoof first. Fluttershy coughed. Somewhere a truck started beeping.
Rarity glanced mischievously between Johnny and Shining and decided to get a little revenge for neither having mentioned their acquaintance before and depriving her of juicy secrets. “Sooo, what became of good old Reverse Thrust?”
“He was in a coma for a while,” Shining smirked without turning around.
“Unrelated!” Johnny insisted as Rarity gaped at him. “Totally unrelated!”
6
“Ready yet?” Princess Luna asked as she entered Celestia’s room.
“In a bit,” Celestia smiled, looking up from various levitated papers…and scent bottles. One of the gold tinged bottles squirted some heather into the air. “What do you think of this one?”
“Eh,” Luna said simply, gazing out the window.
Celestia tried to stop her teeth grinding. There were so many weaponizable mannerisms the 21st century had given her little sister to torture her with. “Well what about this one? I’m looking for an evening scent.”
“Can’t go wrong with jasmine then.”
“True, but I don’t want to be typical.”
“Trust me, you’re being very typical right now.” Luna rolled her eyes at the indignant steam that snorted from her sister’s nose and conjured a bottle from her own room. “Fine, here! Neighponese wisteria.”
“Oooh! Give us!”
Celestia gave two feather light puffs to either side of her neck and then spoiled the effect by telekinetically slamming an APPROVED stamp onto two different papers. “What?”
“It’s a summit Celestia, not a clubbing. No one’s going to care what you smell like. You’re not even wearing a gown!”
“A clubbing?” Celestia said flatly.
“Is that not what they’re called? The experience sounded violent, so I assumed…”
“Not unreasonable.” Celestia stacked her papers neatly and stood up. “It’s important that we make a good impression, Luna.”
“Which is why I imagine Blueblood received an anonymous tip about the cure for premature baldness as the prize for attending a weeklong retreat in Mustangia,” Luna smirked.
“Did he?” Celestia asked over-innocently as they set off down the hall. “How unfortunate, he’s quite talented at politics— ”
“Buttering everyone up while he tries to figure out which pads to grease,” Luna grumbled.
“—when he has a guiding hoof on his shoulder,” Celestia said firmly, half admonitory, half admission. “But we must be open and honest with these people, and that is quite a different sort of game.”
“Not sure it’s mine,” Luna muttered. “Once you had to make more than just Avatar decisions you were always the one who could figure out what somepony needed. Dreams are one thing, but the shell games in the waking world…I find it so much easier to just find out what they want, then decide whether they should get it or not!”
“We used to have far worse policies,” Celestia said gently.
“If you mean being honest is the worse alternative!” Luna snapped. “I’m just saying, it’s a good thing it requires both our signatures to officially declare that sort of thing. Then again you’re the one who invited him into our home.”
“There are many significant gentlemen in this affair, Luna,” Celestia sighed.
“And you know exactly which one I mean. This is what I’m talking about! You’ve seen what’s in Magnate’s file, Great Pony in the Sky, you’ve lived through it! And yet you’re so together! The sister I learned these duties with would have cast him into Tartarus, and I’d have been right behind her with extra chains!”
“There is the matter of Magnus renouncing his citizenship before embarking on his crusade,” Celestia said carefully. “And he’d just bend the chains around us anyway.”
“…fair,” Luna sighed. “I’m just trying to say…I know you were on a first name basis before he showed you who he truly was and yet here you are, putting it all aside so you can give his people something. Because you’re amazing like that.”
Celestia hesitated as they neared a specific balcony.
“I don’t know about putting it all aside.” She shut her eyes. “But perhaps if I’d made the Exquestrian situation more of a priority he wouldn’t have been driven to do those things.”
“Perhaps,” Luna volunteered sharply, “he was always just another egomaniac waiting to happen. And maybe, just maybe, you should accept the compliment instead of trying to take responsibility for somepony who’s just going to squander your kindness all over again.”
“He’s not the type to squander anything,” Celestia smiled ruefully. “Not if there’s something to gain. And yes, I should remember to stockpile my little sister’s praises for the lean winter months.”
“Compliment. It was a compliment. You’re going to have to do something amazing for praise and, well, you’re you.”
“Better than the alternative,” Celestia smirked back and adjusted a specific baluster with her telekinesis.
Both sisters braced themselves only slightly as the balcony sunk and spun in a feat of lost architectural genius, replacing it with an identical balcony as it slid into a concealed shaft within the mountain and began to seamlessly slide into the darkness.
***
“Oh!” Celestia remembered after only a few beats of whizzing mechanisms. “Did you remember to return that library book?”
“We’re about to meet with four of the most powerful secret kingdoms on the planet!” Luna scoffed then looked to the side. “…yes. Though I was tempted to hang onto it. If this goes turnip carts up we’ll be lucky the library doesn’t go down in the flames with the rest of New Town.”
“Ever the realist,” Celestia smiled pleasantly. “Did you talk to the Elements and the Family?”
“Captain Shining…? Oh, the Manehattanites! Yes. They seemed to be having a good time of it, probably because Rainbow Dash and Tropical Storm got lunch at different places. You?”
“Popped my head in when I had a spare moment, yes. Would’ve made sure we could both show up but this under-estate thing is taking forever. Besides, it’s good for you to get back into the swing of things!”
“Throwing me into the deep end, I think is the expression,” Luna smirked. “Quite deep with some of the personalities we’ve got in here tonight. It’s Shining Armour I feel sorry for, our liaisons and his security are quite the juggling routine. With gunpowder and lit torches. Speaking of, did you know about Rainbow Dash and Tropical Storm? Great Horn Spoon!”
“Mmm?” Celestia blinked at her. “He prefers Johnnycake. Well, Johnny.”
“And I’d prefer to call the little devil a lot of things, but you went and gave him a medal.” Luna squinted at her. “Wait, did you not know?”
“Know what?” Celestia asked in a hoof stomping voice. “Oh, that’s right, they were at flight school together! That’s the sort of friendship we need to lead this kingdom into—alright, what’s so funny?”
“Oh you’ll see!” Luna half cackled, hoof against her chest to steady herself. “Whooo! Alright, alright, game face, we’re nearly there. Who’s talking to whom?”
“Well, there’s four representatives, and they’ve come from so far away I thought we’d skip the speech and let them talk. I imagine they’ll all want to dive in anyway, they’re that sort. After that, just mingle. Magnus is the only one the four’ll really have to keep an eye on and while I trust Twilight’s planning methods implicitly, the Elements are better when they just…happen.”
“I know what you mean,” Luna agreed. “Any specific combinations in mind?”
“Well, you haven’t met T’Challa yet. He’s bringing his sister, bless him.”
“Aww!”
“I know, right?”
The balcony/elevator glided to a halt and spun around to present its passengers with one of many junctions for the mountain’s secret passageways. One of the four entrances in front of them sported lit torches and hung banners for the occasion. Pageantry in secret, that was the Canterlot way.
“Anyone you have in mind?” Celestia asked as they set off.
Luna’s eyes glinted mischievously. “Bagsises Namor.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Celestia rolled her eyes.
“What? The moon and the ocean have a very unique relationship!”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
“Odd time to get cold hooves about inviting terrorists, sister dearest!” Luna was enjoying herself a bit too much.
“You see quite enough of him as is with your other little side projects,” Celestia said with a cold smile.
“Ah.” Luna froze mid trot. “You…know about that.”
“Xemnu comes to Equestria and I don’t get a vision?” Celestia scoffed as she passed.
“…then why didn’t you do anything?”
“Because I saw who would be there if I didn’t.”
“They’re good people!” Luna called, making Celestia stop and look at her over her shoulder. “Or they want to be. I know what’s that like.”
“I…did wonder,” Celestia said gently. “Part of the reason I haven’t gotten involved is you’re all the royal presence required, and frankly it can’t go worse than mine did.”
“Shy-Hulk and the Surfer don’t resent you,” Luna assured. “They know you didn’t mean for those hearings to get as out of control as they did. It’s just going to take some time until there’s a place for people like u…like them. And the reality is it may never be a place fully in the light. I feel like I’m providing something close.”
“Then perhaps you’re better equipped for this summit than you thought,” Celestia smiled. Both sisters stood there, enjoying the quiet moment of understanding in the torch light.
“…so,” Luna said eventually, trying to sound like she didn’t really care, but since it came up. “Have, ah, have you seen any of our other escapades? Any visions of the other…”
She made a show of examining one of her shoes, which had actually been nicely buffed for tonight. “You know. Major incidents we prevented? Without needing any thanks.”
“Why would I need to?” She could hear the smile in Celestia’s voice even though she was trying to do that nonchalant too-cool-to-look-at-you thing. “I know that Equestria’s always being defended.”
“Defen…?” Luna mused quietly to the flagstones. “Hmm.”
“Luna!” her big sister called from further up the passage.
“Er, coming!”
To be Continued
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Kinda suprised she's willing to spend time with her dad, but I guess she's pretty forgiving.
Yeah, without the whole holocaust survivor thing, he looses a lot of sympathy.
Spike is very relatable.
What, like you brought the Buffalo and settlers together?
This is really cool! Is this something else you poached from your capitol?
Wow, I didn't know he could still fly.
I'm sure this peace conference will be peaceful, like all peace conferences in comics.
That's how Lyja is sneaking in to the meeting.
All of Johnny's ex's are about to be in the same room together.
9974986
It has been long enough for them to come to some kind of agreement over her dating life.*
*I forgot and regret the missed opportunity for laughs
And there is no way there was a holocaust in Equestria, so.
Nope, just fleshes out Canterlot a little more.
Lyja's gonna have a big role in season 2 but is sitting the finale out! So many of Johnny's other exes are here already, so!
i.pinimg.com/564x/24/4a/40/244a40e22134f79089bf45935ec6a8bc.jpg
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"Doom keeps his own council.*"
*No one will return his calls. He is so very lonely.-Ed