Super Pony Roomies

by TheManehattanite

Slight Learning Sensation (1)

1

Weeks went by. Lessons were learned, keys were unknowingly acquired and problems were solved, soooort ooof….? Sue Storm did take the Elements out for ladies night like they’d talked about, which is too involved a story to tell here, but the one thing they didn’t do was visit a certain bar in Manehattan for a certain class of clientele.

Well, that and avoid bruising or keeping their dignity but like we said, involved.

***

“I’m lookin’ forward to this,” Applejack smiled as they trotted towards the Golden Oaks.

“Why wouldja not?” Rainbow Dash grinned, hovering to her eye level. “It’s Plucky’s! The watering hole for Equestria’s greatest heroes! Or it will be once we get there!”

“Hay yeah!” Applejack shared the hoofbump without even looking or breaking stride. “Rarity, quit laughin’.”

“Stop s-saying that name th-heh-heh-en,” the Unicorn snickered. “It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s a hero bar!” Dash protested.

“Pretty sure that’s what she means,” Applejack clarified.

“Well, I mean! ‘Plucky’s’! It’s so…crass sounding!”

“It’s named after Captain Adventure’s sidekick!” Dash whined, realising too late she sounded like Twilight Sparkle, which was probably what made Rarity burst out laughing. She unclenched her hooves and flapped further up front where nopony could see her blush.

“It could be called The Sandal and Sock and I’d at least give it a looksie,” Rarity chuckled, somewhat under control now. “Any excuse to visit the big apple.”

“For free, y’mean.” Applejack winked.

“Oh, play nice!” Rarity nudged her, setting off a twin bout of giggling. “It’s not like you ever pass up an excuse to visit the old stomping grounds. How are your aunt and uncle, by the way? It’s been ages!”

“Doin’ fine since Tangerine finally made up her mind an‘ moved out to South Equestria to study temples ‘n‘ junk with Clementine! I’ll tell ‘em ya asked after ‘em.”

“What, little Tangie? At university?!” Rarity boggled, one hoof flying to her mane as if to conceal greying streaks.

“Lil’ Tangie’s a sophomore, Grandma, calm down.”

“Hmph! I suppose that makes you the class clown.”

“Drama queen!”

“Oik!”

“Snob!”

“Pistachio!” They flinched as Pinkie Pie bounced in between them, looking side to side excitedly. “This game is fun. What’s it called?”

“It’s an Equestrian childhood classic: Hurry it the Hay Up,” Dash called, completing three lazy laps around a fountain.

“It’s still daylight RD, take your hoof off the peddle.”

“’Least I got peddles!”

“The game is actually called free associating, Pinkie dear,” Rarity said wryly. “Do you remember our talk about openings and what to do?”

“Ooh, ooh, uh…” Pinkie clapped her hooves to her temples, eyes squeezed shut but still bouncing. “Don’t jump on a really easy one ‘cause that’s not lady like?”

“That’s my girl.” Rarity patted the party pony’s head, making her fringe bob like a wagging tail.

“Do you think they’ll play games like that at this joint?” Pinkie asked the group.

“The way Spider-Boytoy talks, probably.” Rainbow shared rueful smiles with Applejack, then they both blinked. “Joint?”

“I’m trying to sound all Manehattany,” Pinkie clarified. “Did you know an old timey word for drinks over there used to be giggle water? Isn’t that great?!”

“The world is a rich an’ fascinatin’ place,” Applejack said gently, shooting razor sharp warning glances at the other two.

“Twilight did say Peter would be picking us up, right?” Rarity asked so the sheer tedium would hopefully drown out eye contact induced laughter.

Applejack nodded. “Yeah, smart since he’s the one who knows where this place is.” She tried to hold back a grin. “Gotta admit, I still ain’t sure how to feel about his crowd, but it’s real nice of ‘em to invite us along to their lil’ exclusive club. I mean, a secret bar? That’s classic stuff! Mighty nice of Pete to take us all too, tonight’s probably gonna blow the poor guy’s rail pass.”

“Rail pass?” Dash glanced over her shoulder. “What, you think we’re taking the train?”

“Uh, yeah?” Applejack quirked a brow. “We take the train, like…everywhere.”

It always set her own Pinkie-Sense tingling a little when Rainbow Dash acted like she was the one working under an odd assumption. It was a slight insecurity she’d developed from those early days, when Dash was new to a ground town and didn’t understand the concept of walls you couldn’t walk through or windows you weren’t supposed to treat like doors.

Rainbow had struggled with this seemingly straight forward concept so much a small part of AJ’s brain had started to wonder what if the Pegasus was right and she’d been out of touch with reality for years?

“When we don’t use Twilight’s balloon,” Pinkie pointed out.

“Our balloon,” Dash and Rarity said a touch defensively, because their adventurer sides liked the idea of just having one even if they knew it wasn’t really theirs.

“Well what’re we doin’ exactly?” Applejack asked as they approached the library, waving back at Spike from the half open front door. “Hoofin’ it? Hitchin’ a chariot to RD’s back an' prayin’?”

“I’d make it look good,” Dash said, completely serious. “Hey, Spike.”

“Hey, Dash, everypony.”

“Stickin’ our legs out into the road an' hopin’ some coach ponies slow down?”

“Rarity says that’s not lady like either.” Pinkie bounced over their heads, grabbing the doorframe to swing herself in after Dash monkey bars style. “Hey, Spike!”

“Hey, Pinkie. What’s not lady like and why?”

“Never you mind, young drake,” Rarity said with a Twilight-esque maternal sharpness, made sharper by her accent. “You don’t know, Jackie? Gosh, I thought the whole group was in on it by now!”

“In on what?” Applejack fought the urge to stomp. It would send some of the library’s books tumbling to the floor after just closing and it was what a grumpy bumpkin would do.

“How we’re gettin’ to the big smoke in style!” Dash was perching on one of the upper windowsills with needlessly near perfect balance.

If she hadn’t grown used to her friend’s need to elevate when excited or relaxing, AJ would’ve thought Peter was rubbing off on her. Well, Spider-Pony. The Web-Head had an even weirder need to avoid just standing around like a normal person.

It had creeped her out a time or two, walking in on Twilight talking to him while dangling like something in a trap, or crouching like a cat halfway up in the shadows. Like he had to watch everything but wasn’t like anything else. Then again, this was before she knew for sure there was a pony under that mask, a few years back when he used to come to Twi for a consult on magical cases he was working.

(A consultation. On an urgent case. Couple hours away from the city with the dang Sanctum Sanctorum. Uh-huh.)

Ugh. She was really just following this uncomfortable line of thinking because nopony telling her what-was-what was messing with her excitement for the trip. She was going to be drinking cider in the same bar as Captain Adventure and Eye Shadow and the Twister Sisters and pretty much every legend she’d ever had as a filly for crying out loud!

“Would somepony just tell me already?”

“Tell you what?” Twilight called from the living room. “Hi, everypony! Just finishing up.”

“Hello!” came Fluttershy’s voice as well.

“♪Why does the rain fall from up ab-ugh-ugh-ve?♪” Rainbow crooned, Rarity’s eyes reflecting the mischievous glint in her own as they locked. Applejack’s eyes narrowed. That was one of her favourite songs.

“♪Why do foo-oo-ools fall in lu-ugh-ugh-ve?♪” the two chorused in a near perfect duet before she could decide which one to go after.

“Hey, it’s hard entertaining and challenging the capricious mind of a supreme ruler,” Pinkie Pie said solemnly. “Fools need love too.”

Applejack smirked as the momentum drained out of the other two’s faces. “Hey, Twi! Just wonderin’ about this evenin’. When’s Pete gettin’ in?”

“Oh, he should be on his way straight home from work,” Twilight called. “Assuming one of his rouges doesn’t try something.”

“His rouges,” AJ and Rarity said flatly.

“That’s the agreed upon term, yes.” They could hear the Don’t undertone in Twilight’s smile.

“It’s totally not,” Spike whispered.

“Man, we should get some, whatever they’re called,” Dash muttered, tail flicking with even more impatience now that they were almost ready.

“S-super villains?” Fluttershy asked, poking her head around the door.

“Yeah!”

“No,” Applejack said firmly.

Then she got a better look at Fluttershy and felt white noise fill every radio station in her brain.

Pinkie froze mid bounce, saved a sprained ankle by the fortunate positioning of a bean bag chair. Dash went rigid, almost falling off her perch. Rarity’s gaping face was ecstatic.

“Um, it’s not quite finished but…we just…I-I finished with Zecora and that nice chimerachilla early, so we thought…um, you know…”

“That we’d try something…” It turned out Fluttershy couldn’t back up because Twilight had been behind her, now throwing the living room door wide with her telekinesis so she could toss her new mane. “Different.”

The effect was a little off because her new Fluttershy length fringe hit her on the nose but she rolled with it, smiling with her eyes shut and waiting for a reaction. Fluttershy’s eyes were wide with the realisation that her Twilight style bangs were too short to hide behind.

Twilight opened one eye to see why everypony was being deathly silent.

“So! What do we think?”

“I’m scared,” Dash said distantly.

“Did it hurt?” Pinkie asked, cocking her head to the side to try and follow Twi-shy’s slow scuttle behind Fl-ilight.

“Pinkie, manners!” Applejack snapped then locked eyes with Twilight. “But no, seriously, did it hurt?”

“Ignore these fillyilistines, darlings!” Twilight and Fluttershy let out the same startled squeak as Rarity materialised between them, forelegs thrown around both of them and her smile almost blinding. “I love it so much I could just pour you both into a bowl and eat it all up!”

“Don’t defy the natural order, got it,” Twilight sighed, restoring their normal hairstyles in a violet flash. “Stop looking at me like that, Spike.”

“Hey, I toldja not to.”

“Yeah, which is why I did it.”

“And I’m delighted you’re feeling experimental!” Rarity beamed, Twilight’s smile wavering as she realised the fashionista was looking at Dash. “I’m sure Peter would just adore it for his birthday!”

Dash crashed down into the beanbags, catapulting Pinkie Pie into the air as she hugged her sides from unrelenting laughter, too busy howling at an expert shot to process her inner ‘Ew, Cuties!’ reaction.

“Speakin’ of!” Applejack said, pointedly raising her voice and kicking at the almost popped bean bags to get the Pegasus to shut up. “These two’ve been hintin’ at the travel arrangements for less than five minutes and I’m already as sick of it the idea of a tufahija made outta peaches. If ain’t the train what is it?”

“Oh, my portal!” Twilight said, putting a hoof to her forehead. “Ugh, I’ve gotten so used to it I keep forgetting to let everypony know. Sorry.”

“Why?” Applejack asked, already weary from her ‘butterhooves!’ cheeriness. “What portal?”

“The one I conjured out of the love Peter and I have for each other so there’ll always be a link across time and space to our homes the way there is in each other’s hearts.” Twilight beamed. “You know, this one.”

Horn flash. The bright sky outside flickering like Celestia had sneezed or it had just been turned off. A silently screaming purple whirlpool made of light spiralling in the gap between them like a sawblade underwater.

“Oooh!” Pinkie leaned over to dip her head in.

Applejack grabbed her tail. “Nope.”

“What?! I’m just looking!” Pinkie whined, then sniffed at one of the spiral galaxy like tendrils circling the pulsating maw of the portal. Her eyes narrowed. “Smells like…wuvy dovey.”

Fluttershy gulped, peeking from behind Twilight’s tail. “It’s very…bright.”

“Love is in bloom!” Twilight grinned.

“A bloomin’ great hole in the universe, apparently!” Applejack snapped. “Are those stars at the edges?!”

“No!” Twilight said defensively, then contemplated the tip of her horn. “Well, not as we’d define the term. It’s kind of what you see when you teleport, although of course you’re a cloud of atoms condensed into a wavelength not visible to the naked eye until re-assimilation but one school of thought suggests that if, as another does, a mage in fact travels through another universe during the act of teleportation then these lattices you sort of have an impression of may indeed be constellations from--"

“You are not scared!” Rainbow Dash sneered.

“Dash, old gal, ya’ll should know by now that I’m pony enough to admit to my fears.” Applejack took a solemn hoof off her heart to point at the dancing radiance. “An’ I’m afraid the trip’s off, ‘cause that right there scares the ever lovin’ road apples right outta me!”

“It’s perfectly safe,” Dash snapped, hovering to her eye level, flapping wings throwing shadows and portal light around the library like a disco simulation of a heart attack. “Rarity and I’ve used it.”

“An’ that’s your big endorsement, huh?”

“Twilight and Pete hop in and out of it all the time, AJ,” Spike assured. “They’re kinda like the batteries or something. The point is it works! If it can take pizza and shirts it’ll take all of us.”

“Do I really have to explain why that didn’t make anythin’ sound better, Spike?”

“Well, those are inorganic matter,” Twilight said, “but Spike’s right, she’ll handle a bulk teleportation. Uh, although I miiiight ask everypony to try the buddy system. We’ve only done groups of three so far, and Peter was with me both times, so six at once might be pushing it. Might, ah, switch more than just our mane styles, if you get my meaning.”

“Unfortunately!” Applejack tried to make a break for the door but there was a rainbow blur in the way.

“C’mon, it’s Plucky’s! You’re not gonna miss out on a piece of Element history just ‘cause of one more lightshow!”

“You a bettin’ pony?”

“Don’t make me do a chicken impression just to goad you AJ, there’s certain implications for my people in there.”

“Dash, it’s singin’ at us.”

“Actually, no it’s not!” Twilight was hovering in front of her now, forcing Fluttershy to use one of the horsehead busts for cover. “Technically a portal is an energised void and sound can’t travel in a vacuum, or at least not our vacuum. So yeah, there’s a sound, it’s just in our minds, maybe also our bones.”

“Aha!” Applejack’s accusatory hoof almost forced her horn down her nose. “What’d we say about spells involin’ the B-word?!”

“Ugh, we’re burnin’ so much daylight,” Dash groaned, rolling up non-existent sleeves. “That’s it! Twilight, you hold her down, I’m gonna go for her rope.”

“What if we draw straws?” Pinkie was frantically rummaging in her mane. “I know I’ve got an emergency sundae kit in here somewhere. Aw nuts, no scissors!”

“That’s why the Great Pony gave us horns, dear.” Rarity held hers at Applejack’s nose level, helping Dash hem her in as the workhorse cantered in place, looking for a way out. “Really Applejack, you’re being ridiculous! Would it help if we let you leave your hat behind?”

“Have we met?” Applejack gripped the brim defensively. “Why that specifically?”

“One does hear things about gateways. A slip of the horn and you’re plunging into a universe with the wrong dimensions or a, let’s say, disagreeable atmosphere, or arriving with a different head than the one you left with…”

Dash rolled her eyes. “Helpful!”

“Oh, come now, this is a thing of love! Whoever lost their head to love?”

Peter Trotter’s face sprouted out of the floor like a mountain in the path of a low flying aircraft. “Hello?”

Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash shrieked, clinging to each other as Twilight blinked, looking down between her legs as she still flapped over her creation. “Oh, hello dear!”

“Hi, honey.” Peter’s smile was amiable enough, even as he side-eyed the still hugging trio. “Thought that might be you girls! Everypony ready to go?”

Spike slapped his hands together and rubbed them. “We are if you are!”

“Uh, excuse me?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

Spike scowled back. “Wait, did you think I wasn’t coming?”

“Of course! Why would I take you to a tavern?”

“Junior year,” Spike said with the calm, cautionary tone of missile silo doors sliding open.

“That was different,” Twilight hissed, voice rising as her pupils shrank.

“Wait, what?” Dash blinked. Twilight has a…past? A capital P, Rarity-tier supercilious emphasis past? Moon is…cheese? Error: Up/Down not found.

“C’mon, Twilight,” Peter cajoled. “The boy’s got to have a taste of the real world sometime.”

Twilight’s flaring nostrils were suddenly aimed at him, portal light dancing like tiny planetary eruptions in her narrowing eyes. “And when is that time going to be, pray?”

“Whenever you say, dear,” squeaked the unyielding hero who had managed to beat a herald of Galactaurus.

“I’ve followed you guys into way worse places than some dive!” Spike actually stamped a foot.

“Hey!” Dash and Peter protested.

“Guuugh!” Twilight dragged her hooves down her face. “Spike, listen. Yes, we should have talked it over, I’m sorry, but none of those places were exactly fit for a growing dragon either.”

Spike grumpily folded his arms. “Is this a Dragon Lands thing?”

“No, this is an You’re-11-Years-Old-,Spike thing.”

“And as precious as a solid gold button on a Canterlot clutch,” Rarity cooed, brushing Spike’s fins and almost melting him into a puddle. “I’m sure our little gentleman won’t get up to anything untoward, Twilight! I’ll even keep an eye on him for you.”

“Very generous of you Rarity, but you won’t need to because our little gentleman isn’t going.”

“He can take my spot,” Applejack said, trying to scrutinise the portal and lean as far away from it as possible at the same time. “On the other hoof, maybe I’m being irresponsible! How do we know this opens where ya want it to? Hay, how’re we even sure that’s Peter? Ya think Shuma-Gorath’d flinch at copyin’ that mole the way he looks?”

“Thanks a bunch, freckles,” Peter muttered. It felt a little odd to everypony but Twilight to hear that much Spider-Pony in his voice without the slight muffling of the mask.

“I could stay behind and watch Spike,” Fluttershy said, trying to keep the hope out of her voice.

“Aww, not you too!” Dash groaned. “You’ll be surrounded by super ponies!”

“And most of the rogues are banged up in the Stockade right now!” Peter’s head swivelled to beam reassuringly at Fluttershy, then scrunched with intellectual honesty. “Not that it’ll last, but…”

“So what if they aren’t?” Dash flexed. “The Elements of Harmony’ll be waiting for ‘em!”

“Half the Elements of Harmony and maybe a dragon,” Applejack snapped. “My great responsibility is being honest, an’ if you think anythin’ in the last couple minutes convinced me into takin’ this cockamamie plunge, then I’m honest to sun gonna take those wings and—!”

“AJ if this is how you feel nopony’s going to force you,” Twilight smiled sadly. “But it would mean a lot to all of us if you did. All of us who are going.”

Spike stuck his tongue out at her. She returned fire.

“Um, I might.”

Fluttershy scuffed the floor but managed to maintain eye contact with Applejack.

“I mean, yes, Twilight’s, um, hole is a bit…unconventional, but, well, this isn’t really any different from any other time we’ve gone out, r-right?”

“Still not a ringin’ endorsement,” Applejack huffed, but she could feel the tension fluctuating in those big ‘ol cyan eyes.

“It’s just…you girls are some of the bravest ponies I know, and Peter’s been a wonderful friend all this time, and it sounds like we’ll run into his friends in less, uh…conventional situations, so we might as well?” Fluttershy tried a smile. “Also, heh heh, I’ve got to admit, it sounds like a bit of a thrill, talking to those Befrienders over drinks!”

“Ah…” Peter said, like he’d rehearsed for weeks in the mirror and then wound up subpoenaing the wrong person. “Right, you guys wouldn’t have… Spark would’ve kept the press out as long as…see, the thing is, the Befrienders, the team’s sort of... There was this thing with Iron Mage…um…”

“Wait, are you saying there’s a spot open?” Dash’s eyes glistened hungrily. “Like a spot spot or that reserve roster they stashed you on?”

“No,” Peter deadpanned. “Which means I’ve still got a Befrienders card and you don’t.”

“Yet!” Dash grinned with arsenic sweetness.

“You’re finally a Wonderbolt,” Applejack pointed out flatly.

“Girl’s gotta have a hobby.” Dash shrugged. “Might as well be one that comes with a secret headquarters.”

“Is it really a secret if they have a big ‘ol B on it?” Pinkie asked, stroking her chin then gasping. “Oh man, what if it’s a double bluff? Hmmm, but it’s probably expensive to install that thing so you may as well use it. A triple bluff? How far down does this thing go?!”

“Come back to the light, Pinkie dear,” Rarity said patiently, waving a hoof in front of her eyes. “Girls, boys, it’s getting late. We want good seats, Mr. Trotter!”

“There may be more than normal,” Peter sighed, looking as despondent as if he’d been genuinely decapitated and just after he finally paid off his student loans.

“Was anypony hurt?” Applejack asked, concern overriding her fear and making her take a step towards the portal.

“Nothing the Night Nurse couldn’t patch up, but spiritually…” Peter hesitated. “Man, even if I knew what fully happened I dunno that it’d be my place to--GYAGH!”

Applejack’s startled head almost took Twilight chin off and crushed Pinkie and Rarity as she shot back, Peter’s head shooting in and out of the glowing floor like a buoy in a temperamental ship’s wake.

“What was that for?!” Peter snapped, glaring down into the purple light.

“Just checking it was still you, man,” came an affable hairspray commercial voice from out of the swirling love. Johnnycake Storm’s head slid seamlessly into place next to his roommate’s. “Oh, hey ladies! Dragon!” His eyes popped slightly with sudden awareness of how vulnerable his position was. “Rainbow Dash.”

“Slime,” Dash said coolly.

“I thought we were past that,” Johnny muttered, trying to keep his ears from folding.

“Past what?” Dash glared, daring him to put it into words. A beat. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Hello, Johnny,” Rarity said kindly.

“Hey, girl,” Johnny smiled back.

Spike suddenly had a very Rainbow Dash expression.

“We’re just deciding who’s stepping out tonight,” Twilight said, smiling feebly. “Ah, sorry about the glowing hole in your ceiling.”

“Ceiling?” Peter exchanged confused blinks with Johnny. “It’s in our floor, sweetheart.”

“You’re proooobably going to want to back out of it slowly, then.”

“Don’t wait up,” Applejack said.

“Wait, you’re not coming?” Peter looked between her and Twilight.

“You’ll be okay, Apple…one!” Johnny assured in his best insurance salespony voice. “Technically me and the web-slinger here have more to worry about with this thing than you do, the amount of extra-equestrian energy that’s in our systems. You guys are Harmony personified or whatever, that’s basically magic! Should be like dipping a hoof into a warm bath, except Spider-Pony’s in it.”

“Yeah? So’s your hair.”

“Buster, you could not get me to set hoof in that thing if there was a bazillion gems and the cure for athlete’s hoof on the other side.”

“I do have a very large cream collection…” Johnny mused.

“Indeed, he does.” Rarity fluttered her eyelashes.

“Everypony stop!” All eyes turned to the sudden blanching Pinkie Pie. “You! Horseshoe Torch!”

“The Horseshoe Torch, yeah,” Johnny grinned. “Hello again!”

“That’s right!” Pinkie gasped, shooting nose to nose with him so fast those blue eyes watered. “You’ve been here a couple of times! It’s worse than I thought!”

“Tell me about it,” Dash muttered.

“I haven’t thrown you a single welcoming party!” Pinkie looked so disappointed in herself you'd think she and Peter were long lost cousins or something. “And you’re only kinda sorta here now! Oh gosh, I must be slipping! When’s your birthday, I’ll totally make it up to you! I’d throw them back to back, but my budget couldn’t take it.”

“She has a budget,” Rarity said with depressed resignation.

Johnny hefted himself through/into/out of the portal slightly, forcing Peter to strain his neck away as the Torch put a reassuring hoof on Pinkie’s shoulders. ““Tell you what: how about you come to Plucky’s tonight and we’ll count that as my welcome party for you. Fair?”

“Aww!” Pinkie simpered. Peter rolled his eyes but was smiling.

“Nice,” Rainbow Dash said. “More than you ever gave me. Then again, I helped you take down MODOK twice and I didn’t rate an invite to your fancy barn, let alone Plucky’s.”

“You were afraid of running into Exquestrians!” Johnny protested.

“What?!” Twilight and Applejack squawked.

“Did you just call me a bigot?!” Rainbow’s eyes flashed violently. “Do you know what they used to say about me in high school just because I scored so many touchdowns? Do you know what those dirtbag isolationists used to ask my mom?!”

“Wait, no, no, sorry!” Johnny waved his hooves desperately. “I’m getting you mixed up with somepony else! So sorry! Totally my bad!”

“No kidding!”

“I just…Dash, you were so…unique! I didn’t know if it’d be your scene.”

“I’m just gonna…” Peter said hurriedly, trying to figure out which way was down so he could escape what was about to become a ground zero.

“You thought the place where Grim Skies grabs a cider wouldn’t be my scene?” Sparks were practically flying from between Dash's clenching teeth.

“I was barely legal myself! Listen, I’m so sorry about the Exquestrian thing…”

“We helped that little filly together!”

“I know,” Johnny sighed. “I just got it mixed up with somepony else.”

“Who?” Dash said dangerously. Spike and the rest of the Elements waved their hooves and heads desperately.

“It was the hair, is the thing,” Johnny said way too casually. “She changed it! Thaaat’s why I’m mixing you up! Yeah, this was after we broke up and you wanted nothing to do with me. I only even took her because we had that pedestrian airspace test the same day. What was her name, you hated her guts…”

“Vapour Trail?” One of Rainbow Dash’s eyes was twitching almost in time with Peter’s spider-sense. Her wings were making turbine noises.

“That was it!”

“Dash, wait—!” Peter began and took a furious wing to the face as a roaring rainbow streak cannoned into the squawking Torch.

“Agh! Peter!” Twilight yelped, then yelped again as a scaly ball, legs tucking in and pinching it’s nose, leapt over her. “Agh! Spike?! Spike D. Sparkle, you come back here this instant!”

“And big sister makes three,” Rarity smirked as Twilight’s own contrail dived into the swirling radiance. “Shall we?”

“I might need a little incentive…” Fluttershy mumbled.

“Gotcha covered, hold this!” Pinkie chirruped.

“A streamer?” Fluttershy blinked, then smiled and took a gentle grip. “No problem Pinkie P--”

She didn’t even have time to squeak as Pinkie “BANNA PIE BANSI!”ed into the portal, dragging her behind.

“Don’t even think about it,” Applejack warned.

“Now Jackie, darling…”

“And don’t try that, either! I know ya only bust that name out when ya want somethin’!”

“I simply want what’s best for you,” Rarity assured, hoof on heart. “And while I think a night out with a colourful crowd is right up your orchard, I’ve also known you long enough to know that sometimes you need a short, sharp shock.”

“Ya wanna know what an Apple does for a short, sharp shock?” AJ growled, pawing the floor.

“Oh, I’m fully aware darling, which is why I’ve also learned to respect your boundaries and…” Rarity peered around her Stetson, eyes popping. “Great suns, Spikey-wikey! What have they done to you?!”

Applejack spun towards the glow, heart in her throat. Nothing but the still glowing portal. Then a short, sharp shock just above her tail.

Howling, she half sprang, half tumbled into the light. Rarity smirked, blew out her horn and gracefully pirouetted in after her.

The library floor continued to seethe with extra dimensional energy under the impassive gaze of Owlicious for a few minutes until Twilight Sparkle’s muttering head rose out of it, firing a magical tether from her horn to one of the edges and sank back in, pulling the whole thing shut like a child sullenly pulling a blanket over themselves.

2

“And that, my little ponies, is how you reshape the very elements themselves,” Princess Celestia said, smiling at the row of awed classroom faces. The pile of swirling confetti and streamers on her desk had been a bundle of sticks and some lint seconds ago. She winked. “And have fun doing it too.”

Her telekinesis took control of the swirls, forming them into the abstract shape of a dancing pony. The kids ate it up.

“But can anypony tell me the real trick? Anypony at all?”

A few raised hooves.

“Turning lead into gold!”

“Bringing them alive!”

“Making a party dance army!”

“Difficult, inadvisable and very outré!” Celestia chuckled. “Calm down Snapbang, I see you.”

“Ma’am, ma’am!” The filly was still waving a foreleg, pointing to the next desk with the other. “Softie knows, Softie knows, it’s just everypony is talking, ma’am!”

“Thank you, Snapbang,” the princess said firmly but kindly as all heads swivelled to the blushing and huddling filly with glasses. “What do you think it is, Soft Touch?”

“Um.”

It did occasionally cross her mind what it would have been like if she’d been in a position to teach the other future Elements, or if they’d been in a position to be taught at a magic school, she supposed, given how Twilight had always risen above this kind of introversion by sheer academic enthusiasm. She had a feeling Rarity Belle and Rainbow Dash in the same room would be a bad idea, and that she wouldn’t have been able to resist the temptation.

It would be unfair to say Soft Touch was a Fluttershy, categorising both of them like mere archetypes, but there were the makings of that same kindness, confidence and appreciation in there, which Celestia hoped to see in all practitioners. Even at her most anti-social, Twilight had always had that too. Fortunately Celestia had taught a vast array of children over the last century or two and had ways of helping them help themselves.

“Would you perhaps like to tell just me?” she asked, already trotting up to Soft Touch’s desk, which was a tad unfair but usually worked.

Soft Touch gulped but smiled and nodded. Celestia had read somewhere that when you’ve decided to speak up it’s nice to know you can do it in a whisper. Something like that. The point was to give the child a confidante. She mimed pricking up one ear and leaning that long neck down to the child’s level. It never hurt to elicit a few giggles from the class either. It might be their secret but everypony would be in on the joke.

“Well, dear?”

“Change them back?”

“Excellent!” Celestia winked and nodded. “Did anypony hear that? Apart from you of course, Snapbang. Nooo? Good! Let’s see if you can solve the mystery next week!”

Groans and mutters went up.

“Uh-bup-bup! No grumbling. You’ll find several clues in chapter 15, which... Now, now! Which is only four pages long, so it shouldn’t take too long to fill out this week’s essay question: five ways you would use transfiguration to help somepony. Yes, I thought that would be fun. No, the answer stays between Soft Touch and myself…yes, and you, Snapbang, it stays between us for the moment. Three, two, one…”

Centuries of teaching and she was still always off by a few seconds. The bell finally rang.

“There we go. Soft Touch, well done for your insight, Snapbang, well done on your choice of neighbour. Off to the park with all of you until your parents come. I look forward to your answers—Here now! Single file please, this is a school, not a racecourse! Yes, goodbye everypony!”

She sighed with contentment and relief, sinking into her chair which went unused most lessons. She really just kept it around for the slump.

Change them back. Fantastic! Twilight’s letters had been full of excitement at the progress of her own dispersal magic, and a tad more exciting now that they were actual letters, not friendship reports. It meant she sincerely wanted Celestia to know something.

She wondered what both students would bring to the art and made a note to leave it a bit, say five years, before asking Twilight to share her findings. Give the girl time to build up a repertoire and some confidence in it. And the children had loved the odd visit from the Element of Magic, so the Princess of Friendship (not that Twilight knew that was where she was going, and it was presumptuous to assume at destiny but come on) should be a real treat!

…was that expression still in use? The world seemed to move faster every year.

***

She sipped her coffee, popped her neck, teleported to the teacher’s lounge and said her goodbyes before taking the leisurely flight home, wondering what everypony was doing. The Elements never seemed to take a lazy day, but there’d be a report if it was worth one and she knew what most of her operatives were up to.

Hmm. On that note, Luna was still handling the Blueblood attack. It had been weeks since the incident at the Palladium, but that word. ‘Handling’. She’d let her big sister know if anything else was happening, right? Perhaps she should talk to Blueblood. Goodness, it’d been a while, hadn’t it?

His current, ahem, friend, that wonderfully sassy mare, was good for him but part of Celestia was still a little disappointed Rarity hadn’t toughed it out and made another go at him, even during her brief stay in the capital. Not disappointed in the filly herself, of course, the boy had used her as a shield, but they could have learnt so much together. Ah well.

She circled the Platinum memorial gardens a few times. She enjoyed this when she could, the period between the end of a school day and the hours before she had to prepare for sunset. Her responsibilities would still be waiting for her but there was a span between them that allowed her mind to wander.

“Change them back,” she muttered to herself. “Fantastic!”

She noticed a Pegasus mother and filly staring at her from a nearby cloud and gave them a wave. The filly waved back, the mother smiling in slight relief.

Not that they’d actually been intruding on anything exactly, but it was Princess Celestia. Maybe they were from out of town, Canterlot citizens were nicely inured unless she landed directly in front of them. And had been tempted to in her younger days, which was part of why she was visiting the gardens.

Celestia wasn’t sure a world where Twilight never achieved the balance Cadence had would have been that different from this one, though it was still early days. Not even a year since her coronation. But she’d had a sister in all but blood to grow up with, to take the world’s expectations off slightly, as Cadence had had her aunt. And her aunt hadn’t always been a princess.

Once, Alicorns were just Alicorns. Once, there were just two sisters. Once, there had been an impetus but growing young (well, immortal and biologically 27) mage. And the most amazing, patient pony she’d ever met.

Who, among other things, had gotten her out of the habit of startling her subjects for fun.

She drifted slowly through an archway protecting one monument, sheltering it from the elements and providing some privacy. Nothing too elaborate, her visitee wouldn’t have liked that. A few Corinthian designs and some alstroemeria. The statue of Queen Palladium smiled at her as she landed.

“Hello, my love,” Celestia said softly.

***

She sat a while. Talked. Remembered.

She’d taken a few students up here in their childhood, Sunset and Twilight even, but that wasn’t this. This was hers. Theirs.

Although she’d have been lying if she said she wasn’t showing the children off in hopes of Palladium’s approval. At least it wasn’t for mother’s. Imagine her delight, little Celeie following in her hoofsteps!

“I can hear the row we’d have even now,” she chuckled, ten minutes into an anecdote about Sunset’s first fire spell and lecture on fire safety. “Um, advanced psychedigitation is a smidge more complicated than Equestrian lit, Mother! Oooh dear…”

Palladium smiled.

“Twilight would’ve liked her, I think. Once she got past the awe of meeting Celestia’s mom!” She rolled her eyes at herself. “And I know I always say this but I think she’d have liked you too. You were always an excellent judge of character. Luna and I can still spark off each other but I’ll always be so grateful she introduced us. She’s ‘handling’ this Blueblood business. Oh, that’s, hmm, let’s see, yooour…sixth grandson on Silverware’s side. Silverware the 9^th, naturally. There’s been rumours of attacks, but Luna was there first. I should have a word with her about that, though.”

She looked up into eyes that were all she had to make do with outside of a few portraits and sighed, lowering her head.

“And I should speak to him more. He’s a grown stallion, appearances to the contrary, but he’s family. Your family. There’s a lot of it in him. Sometimes I wonder if everything else is his parents or, well, me. Stars above, you remember what I was like!”

She shook her head laughing, shimmering mane filling the small chamber with rainbow patinas.

“You know, I still remember Silverware the 1^st and Margarite’s wedding? It was the first one I’d had to do without you.”

She was quiet for a while. The sound of Canterlot bustle lapped at the edges of the garden slightly as she adjusted to the sudden weight.

“I’ve had to do so much without you,” Celestia whispered finally.

She rubbed at her eyes, smiling again.

“Listen to me, you’d think I was Peter Trotter! That’s Twilight Sparkle’s young stallion, I may have mentioned them. He’s one of those Manehattenites with the odd dress sense and odder approach to civic duty, but I think you’d like him too. All the children, really. Children! What am I saying? They’ve all grown to make this country something beyond my wildest dreams. And I had visions of Las Pegasus back when we thought Stallifornia was a questionable real estate investment by the Andalusians, so as you know I had some fairly wild dreams!”

She chuckled, stood and stretched. “Still some time before sunset. Miles to go and all that. But I’ll check in with Luna, even though I’m hoping she’s been quiet because these attacks on Blueblood have sto--"

“DÉTRUIRE!”

Celestia spun, staring into the daylight and greenery in the mouth of the monument as a rattle of out of control cartwheels, breaking scenery and screaming ponies blasted up from the ledge of the roof garden. She flexed her wings, preparing for take-off.

“What was that line Sharpe Script stole off you, dear?” Celestia smiled wryly. “Once more unto the breach!”

Palladium smiled as her princess blasted into the air.

***

Celestia swooped over the trail of carnage on the street below, shattered stalls and railings, panicking pedestrians and an obligatory smashed and spraying fire hydrant. Carnage on Canyon Street, she thought, then chided herself because this was no time to be thinking of one of her favourite B-movies and powered on after the streaks of dust her Pegasus eyesight could make out in the distance.

And a certain royal blue contrail.

“Luna.” She put a pinch of Canterlot Voice into it, partly from the remaining distance and rushing wind, partly from stirring temper.

Luna glanced over her shoulder, her “Not now!” almost lost over the rush and clamouring below. Celestia could hear a grating buzzing and howling of engines as she began to draw alongside the younger Alicorn, and her nasty suspicion about those tracks was confirmed as they both drew nearer their quarry.

“DÉTRUIRE!”

One of those confounded motorised carriages…auto-wheels? Auto-ships? Auto-bots? Ugh, one of those was swerving through the rapidly clearing streets and gouging filthy great scars into the odd garden. Some magenta lunatic in an orange cowl and hoof guards was riding on the hood, kicking at the windscreen.

“DÉTRUIRE!”

The glass seemed to be holding up. The whole contraption was where much of the city wouldn’t, that was the problem, but it was dented and filthy in places, several spears driven into the rear and roof. Those belonged to one of the two pursuers on those…motivated bikes? The kind Evening Rose was so fond of these days!

The minimised combustion engine and the crystal batteries that were gradually replacing it had a lot to answer for.

A blue lunatic with a crimson mohawk was already preparing another spear from the quiver on his back. His companion, with a black and kaki streaked mane and olive-green coat, favoured crossed bandoleers loaded with a preposterous number of knives. The fool even had one between his teeth, risking more than just shaving off his unkempt beard if his bike hit a hard enough bump.

“DÉTRUIRE!”

“DESTROY!”

“D’NYGH’OY!”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed then widened when she saw the licence plate. 2BLU4SK00L

“This is handling things is it?” she called.

“There’s only three of them!” Luna called back, scowling. “Do these things have to be so loud?!”

“What?!”

“Never! Mind!” Luna pointed to herself then Blueblood’s ride, then at Celestia and waved at the two riders just below them.

Celestia nodded and proceeded to teleport herself at the same instant she powered forward. Luna’s curse was lost over the gnawing of the bike motors.

***

“DÉTRUIRE!”

The goat balanced on the hood delivered a savage kick to the roof of the vehicle, as if trying to hammer a way in. The machine swerved violently as the desperate chauffer ducked to avoid the buckling metal, roaring into the path of a tour group just exiting the locomotive museum.

Screams became more confused as the limo dissolved in golden sparks, re-materialising behind them in time for the fender to dent itself decapitating a bronze statue of a city founder. Then more urgent as the two riders snaked around them and the Princess of the Night swooped inches above their heads.

“Ah, apologies!” Luna called back as her ethereal tail inadvertently knocked off somepony’s fishing hat.

The limo finally hit the cobblestones, the jolt hurling the masked goat into the air, but he turned it into a spin that brought him back onto the hood with astonishing agility.

“DÉTRUIRE!” he bellowed at the terrified chauffeur through the tinted glass, eyes flashing pink, moustache billowing in the wind.

He glanced up as four horseshoes landed firmly on the roof.

“Mais non,” Princess Celestia said.

She’d been expecting another ‘DÉTRUIRE!‘. Not a mawashi geri kick that almost knocked her crown off.

***

Luna winced and put more Pegasus magic into her wings to stay with the bizarre convoy as the limo swerved onto a park road to avoid winding up in the wrong traffic lane.

Picnickers and yoga classes stared as some kind of silver tank roared past with the supreme ruler trying to keep her balance on top while using her wings to fend off a barrage of goat legs. They wondered what movie this was for as two armed lunatics with bad haircuts raced seconds behind, towing a quite realistic looking Nightmare Moon puppet. They couldn’t even see the strings!

“D’NYGH’OY!” The unimaginatively named hit-pony pulled his machete out of his mouth, tipping his bike to the side as he made for the limo’s closest tire. “DESTROY!”

An azure glow surrounded the blade and Machete blinked as he found himself suddenly holding a banana. The skin unpeeled itself and darted under his front tire, sending the whole machine sliding in the opposite direction with enough force to hurl the mercenary into a tree, stunned as he slammed against the sturdy trunk and dangling from the branches by his bandoleers.

Shame about his mount, Luna thought idly, watching it skid to a crumpled heap inches from crashing into a fountain. A Discord move that, but it had been all she could come up with and in her defence, she was still in the middle of being attacked.

“DESTROY!” Zaran the Weapons Master screamed in annoyance, half turned in his seat to jab at her with a spear.

“Yes, I get it, thank you!” Luna snarled back, twisting to avoid taking a shot through the ribs. “Agh! Eyes on the road for heaven’s sake! Eyes on the road!”

***

Celestia was having similar thoughts and about as much luck. Even an ascended Pegasus had to struggle to keep her footing on this constantly bucking death trap, and the magenta blur she was just managing to block was either insanely agile or just too insane to care if he fell under the wheels.

The park was still crowded and if the ride didn’t mow somepony down here it was only a matter of time before it made it out onto the even more crowded street.

“DÉTRUIRE!” The attacker, who she now recognised as infamous mercenary Batroc the Leaper, hurled himself at her again.

Celestia hit the deck, feeling how close he’d come to her horn, turning to stare in horror as Batroc flung himself to certain doom…and boggling as the goat grabbed one of the spears embedded behind them, twisting himself around and landing right back on the hood. A hastily formed golden shield just managed to block his next near instantaneous kick.

“DÉTRUIRE!” He flipped onto the roof with her, forcing her back with both cloven hooves.

“Votre réputation décrit un goat d'honneur, monsieur Batroc!” Celestia pleaded, staring at him over her smarting wing. “Arrête cette folie!”

His eyes flickered pink behind the mask. “H…honneur…?”

Celestia, who’d lived through several evolutions of honour in various contexts over decades, rabbit punched him in the face so hard his body spun all the way around and clasped his neck in a wing nerve strike she’d learned from the first Wonderbolts. Batroc the Leaper folded over her shoulder like a childhood toy.

“Please stop this confounded thing,” Celestia screamed into the fractured left side window. The park exit onto Hillside Street was looming before them like a dragon’s jaws.

“Ma’am,” the chauffeur squeaked and nearly stomped the peddle through the floor.

Celestia’s wings flared, almost tossing the unconscious Batroc as the momentum shuddered out of the abused machine, fighting inertia like a wounded buffalo. She just managed to grip one of the spears to keep them both from being thrown backwards as the limo performed a Twilight on ice skates graceful spin, twisting to a stunned stop inches from mounting the curb.

The unexpected stillness sent Celestia flopping onto her back in the most un-princess like fashion. She groaned, hearing the voices of terrified pedestrians drilling their way in through the ringing in her skull. And something else…

“DESTROY!” Zaran screamed over the roar of his motor. The spear he was hefting morphed into a rope, lashing itself around him.

Celestia flinched, instinctively shielding Batroc as the out of control bike bellowed towards them and suddenly Luna was there, forelegs wrapped around the engine and teeth gritted as sparks flew from her horseshoes. The wheels glowed with her magic, grinding to a foul-smelling halt.

“And that’s…that!” Luna grunted as the weapons master toppled into the street. Her magic flashed again, dropping Machete on top of him.

She sighed in relief, mopping her brow as she turned to admire the machine, slumped against a lamppost. “Not bad, that!”

Batroc was dropped unceremoniously on top of his men. Hardly his Brigade’s finest hour but par for their personal course. Luna looked up at her older sister with a hoof in the cookie jar expression.

“Luna,” Princess Celestia said pleasantly, nodding at the heap. “What am I standing in?”

“A long story,” Luna sighed. “And before you start I would have told you if I knew it was going to happen, but…well.” She gestured at the clamour behind them then down at the circus coloured pile up at their hooves. “Who could have seen this coming?”

“Fair enough,” Celestia sighed. Then gasped. “Blueblood!”

Forgetting herself, she used her telekinesis to wrench the entire door out of the frame, terrified of what she might find. Which was her nephew curled up on the luxurious backseat like a satisfied housecat, the tip of one of Zaran’s spears a whisker from his head, fast asleep.

“Oh, thank sun and moon…” Celestia breathed out gratefully, slumping drunkenly against the side. “Luna, what the flying feather has been going on?”

“I wish I knew,” Luna sighed, then squinted. “Here! He’s not… Is he…?!”

Blueblood snorted and rose, champing as his eyes forced themselves open, and yawned.

“Ah, here we are. Oh, hello there, auntie! And auntie Lulu too! Door knockingly good of you to splash by, but no fillies allowed I’m afraid. Unless it’s one of the lad’s birthdays of course, but oh-ho-ho, I’ve said too much! See you next Memorial Day!”

Humming, the prince stepped out of the remains of his automobile and trotted up the steps of the fifth club he’d been to today. His aunts watched him, Celestia with relief, Luna with incredulity.

“That’s Margarite’s grandson.”

“You should meet his parents.” Celestia turned to help open the driver’s side door. “Are you alright, Chicane? Nothing broken?”

“No ma’am.” The Pegasus wobbled in her grip before taking in the abstract art piece that had once been a car and wobbling some more.

“I’ll handle it,” Celestia assured. “You just come along with us to, what’s that over there, the Trough and Barrel and catch your breath. Luna, pick those…gentlemen up for the guards, please. And Chicane, don’t worry about Blueblood’s whatever-it-is, you just come ‘round the castle if he gives you any grief for the state it’s in. Gosh, he was asleep while you did all that work to try and save the pair of you! We’ll see if there’s a medal or two in there for you…”

“Ma’am,” Chicane said, because it was the only word her brain could form at the moment.

“You’ll find the time to lower the sun while arranging all this, I hope,” Luna muttered, using Machete’s bandoleers to wrap the Brigade together like a bouquet of questionable hair choices. She frowned, telekinetically pulling Batroc’s mask off and trying to open one of his eyes.

“They were pink if that’s what you’re wondering.” Celestia glanced over her shoulder. “Relevant?”

“Just about the only thing that is,” Luna sighed, floating the Brigade behind her. “You’re probably wondering why there haven’t been more reports.”

“Possibly.” Celestia forced a smile as they entered the tavern, one wing wrapped around Chicane to keep the poor girl upright as they walked past stunned patrons. “Hello, forgive the intrusion, I was wondering if we could have a booth? At the back, if that wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

Luna tried not to cringe as the silenced drinkers’ eyes drifted from Celestia to her and her captives. The jukebox faintly playing in the background did nothing to help.

***

Soon they were indeed set up in a nice cosy spot in the back, the concussed mercenaries shoved in a corner and Chicane staring at nothing as her wings hugged her knees.

“Well?” Celestia said leadenly as excited whispering rose in the front of the bar.

“I’ve been doing my best!” Luna shut her eyes, biting down on the defensiveness. “What was the last one I sent you? The barber?”

“Yes,” Celestia agreed. “Is he still in custody? Perhaps I should…”

“No, and you wouldn’t learn any more than I did,” Luna sighed, sipping from her water. “He didn’t even know where he was, same as Board Treader and the rest. The best they can give us is their average day followed by pink. None of them even have a memory of Blueblood! It’s just ‘The one who tried to turn that orphanage into a hairspray plant?’ and this terrified Please-Don’t-Gobble-Me-Up,-Nightmare-Moon expression.”

Celestia put a hoof on her shoulder.

“It helps.” Luna shrugged. “Sometimes. If they could tell me anything they would have, but our only certainty is that it’s not magic.”

Celestia frowned. “A potion?”

“First thing we checked for, and I’m still not ruling that out. I thought it might be Chrysalis or the Sirens, but they could never resit taking credit. But even then…credit for what? From what I can tell victims just get zapped with whatever it is, see that parody of Silverware and they try to wipe him off the map!”

“Who’s they?”

“That’s the other thing! There’s no connection between any of them! If it was somepony snapping after meeting him--”

“Luna,” Celestia said pointedly.

“I know, I know! But it’s anypony in Canterlot, apparently! And even then, Board Treader was only down here for the play. The waiter at Raison d'être was only there because somepony was sick. And there’s even less of a connection as you go down the list. I thought it might be somepony enchanting castle staff at first, but it’s waiters, gardeners, street sweepers, clowns, origami teachers, yoga instructors—!”

Celestia squinted. “Blueblood takes yoga?”

“No! At least that would be something!” Luna downed her water and turned to a waitress who’d been trying to make it past unnoticed. “Excuse me, could I have a glass of Stormspirit, please? Leave the bottle.”

“Same for me, thanks,” Chicane said distantly.

“Has this been going on since the Palladium?” Celestia asked.

“Yes,” Luna sighed. “It’s not that the kingdom has finally snapped and decided to come after Blueblood—”

“Luna.”

“—it’s that somepony is making them.” Luna grimly held up Bartoc’s mask. “The only thing I can tell you for certain? They’ve moved from random civilians to professional mercenaries. And they may be prepared to go considerably further than that.”

3

“♪Why are we waaaaiting?♪” Rainbow Dash sang irritably.

“Peter’s city, Peter’s rules,” Twilight said defensively, trying to ignore how long they’d been standing in this vacant lot.

“Oh please.”

“What?”

“First off, his city?” Dash held up a feather as she raised a brow. “What, he’s crawled over everything so its got his name on it?”

“Rainbow! Don’t be disgusting!”

“Don’t pretend you haven’t heard me say way grosser.” She held up two feathers. “Second, show me in writing where it says we’ve gotta stand here curling our tails just ‘cause somepony needs his all over security blanket?”

Twilight frowned. “So he has to change! Not everypony in the business knows who Spider-Pony is.”

“Wait, really?” Applejack blinked, looking away from a wall of outdated posters and flyers she’d been using to pass the time. “Why? I thought all these super types knew each other.”

“Um…” Fluttershy began.

“Without his costume,” Twilight clarified.

“Oh.”

“Right, but why?” Applejack frowned. “They work together, hay, they drink together, that’s why we’re even here. But, what, they don’t trust each other?”

“Some like Peter prefer to keep their circle tight.“ Twilight shrugged. “Less risk of something slipping out, I suppose.”

“Tight,” Rarity said flatly.

“What,” Twilight replied flatly.

“Well, let’s consider who was in that circle before it grew by six…sorry Spike, seven. His aunt. Johnny. Johnny’s family. Princess Celestia, because come on. His three former special someponies.”

Twilight smiled grimly. “You were saving that one, weren’t you?”

“Perhaps,” Rarity smiled back.

“She’s punishing you for making us wait ‘cause he’s not here.”

“Yes, thank you, Spike, I got that.”

“I don’t mind waiting,” Fluttershy said. She was rather enjoying listening to the different dog barks from blocks away. Such a rich tapestry!

“Well I do,” Dash snapped, hopping off her perch on the chain link fence. “Coulda drunk half my weight in mead by now!”

“It’s the 21^st century of Celestia’s reign, Dash,” Applejack chuckled, “pretty sure nopony drinks mead anymore.”

“They’ve got an Asgardian, AJ, there’s totally mead.”

“Maybe we could play a waiting game?” Pinkie suggested, holding up a deck of cards from nowhere. She’d have suggested I-spy, but even if Dashie wasn’t starting to get that very, very frightening thunderbolt and lightning look in her eye she’d have to admit the lot of a disused garage didn’t give them much to work with.

“We already are,” Dash muttered. “Seriously, the subway alone took forever!”

“For somepony fussier than a five-star pig in a fifth-rate poke maybe,” Applejack teased.

“Did you just call me a pig?”

“Nah, I called ya fussy.”

“Okay fair, but creature of the sky in a metal tube, underground, that stops at random.”

“Actually, the Manehattan subway planning and ordinance commission favours a station distance of about--” Twilight began.

“I take the point,” Applejack said loudly, and kind of regretted it. This Lower East Side cul-de-sac or whatever it was acted like a weird kinda pocket in the city, reachable through twisting alleyways that bounced a raised voice around like shrapnel. They could hear the bustle of the city all around them but distantly, as if from the bottom of a well, and hidden by differently sized buildings. She fought the urge to shudder.

“Maybe we should look for the entrance ourselves?” Spike suggested from Twilight’s back. “Or ask somepony?”

“Plucky’s is supposed to be a secret…” Twilight said uncertainly, but they could tell by her tone she was starting to get listless waiting for Peter to show up as well.

“So how’d you girls hear about it, Princess?” said someone behind them.

The Elements of Harmony, vanquishers of Chaos and Shadow, jumped into each other’s hooves like the proverbial meddling kids in a burst of gasps and yelps. Spike was jostled from Twilight’s back to Fluttershy’s, his fall cushioned by Pinkie Pie’s hair.

The almost Luna blue and purple maned Unicorn with a strange, crystal-like right foreleg shook her head.

“Smooth, Misty,” her red and white trimmed Pegasus friend scolded. “You scared them.”

“No she didn’t!” Rainbow protested from between Rarity’s forelegs.

“Detective Night! Ms. Crimson Wings!” Twilight grinned tremulously. “So, ah, nice to see you again.”

“Interesting choice of words,” Night smiled thinly, evening light glinting off the badge around her neck. “Thought the deal was you were supposed to check in with your M.E.U.P. liaison before you started operating in the city. Y’know: me.”

“…in an unofficial capacity?” Twilight tried.

Crimson nudged her friend without dislodging the sheathed katana in her belt. “Leave them alone Misty, you’re off duty too. You guys said Plucky’s? We’ll show you the way…is your dragon coming?”

“Yeah, he is,” Spike said pointedly as he scowled between her and Twilight.

“Spike, don’t cause a scene!”

“We’d appreciate it,” Applejack took over, tipping her hat at the duo. “'Specially since our tour guide seems to’ve gone an' got himself lost.”

“Tour guide?” Misty looked at Crimson.

Sudden light above! “Twilight?!”

The Daughters of the Dragon yelped, managing to roll aside and into combat positions as a red and blue blur ricocheted off a rusting fire escape to smack down between them. An amused Horseshoe Torch, source of the light, hovered above them, forelegs folded.

“What do you think you’re doing, Web-Slinger?!” Misty snapped.

“Night and Wings?” Spidey’s lenses blinked, glancing from them to the Torch to the Elements. “I, ah, thought I heard screaming?”

“I didn’t scream!” Rainbow Dash snapped, shooting into his masked face then glaring up at the Torch. “And what’re you doin’ here?”

Johnny shrugged. “Hero bar.”

“Yeah, so what’re you doin’ here?”

“…they used to date.” Misty slowly grinned at a blinking Crimson.

“Oh.” The Pegasus tried not to laugh.

“Good eyes, detective,” Rarity simpered. “Love your hair by the way! Very urban amazon!”

“Relax Rarity, I’m in too good a mood to need buttering up," Night assured, winking. “So. Tour guide, huh?”

“I was in the neighbourhood?” Spidey tried, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“He needed a place to suit up, then decided to circle a few streets to make sure nopony would remember him coming out of the same alley some random pony walked into.” The Torch rolled his golden plasma sheathed eyes. “On his way to the secret bar.”

“Says the guy who flew here in a streak of fire,” Dash retorted.

The Torch’s crimson cheeks glowed a little brighter.

“Shall we be on our way then?” Fluttershy tried to smile as everyone turned to her. “Well, it’s only an hour or so to sunset and everypony is going the same way and…everything.”

“You guys did pick up the tab for lunch after that last case,” Night conceded. She’d always shown a gentler side to the Element of Kindness, naturally.

“C’mon,” Dash grinned ferally, “you know you wanna press these six buttons just to see what happens.”

“I was on clean-up for ladies night,” Misty pointed out.

“Think of it as dinner and a show, then!”

“At least it’ll get you off the streets, Rainbow Dash.” Night shook her head and rolled her eyes at Crimson Wings smirk as she trotted towards the darkened office of the garage. “You coming, Torch? Amazing Tour Guide-Pony?”

“How many team ups’ll it take to make up for butting in?” Spidey groaned, bounding over the group’s heads to perch on the ledge over the shuttered doors.

“Buy a round of Ultimate Nullifiers and Misty’ll think about it,” Crimson smiled.

“I thought the point was there was only one Nullifier?” Twilight frowned. “Ultimate’s right there in the name…ooooh, I see.”

“Not after a round of them you won’t.” Crimson shared knowing smiles with Rarity and Rainbow Dash. “Good to see you again, Princess. The museum appreciated your contributions from the Crystal Empire.”

“You too, Crimson Wings! Just Twilight tonight, please, we’re all off duty, right?” Twilight looked up and smiled at Spidey. The Web-Slinger winked back when he was sure the Daughters weren’t looking.

Spike squinted, trying to make out the torn and faded rooftop sign. “So’s whoever runs this place.”

“Or maybe that’s what she wants everypony to think.” Johnny winked at him, drifting up to the sign and changing the light of his flames juuuust right. The weathered paper glowed softly, a stylised name fading into view: PLUCKY’S RESTORATION STATION. The out-of-towners realised the only visible part of the sign had been the cartoon of an oil can dabbing at a wheel.

“You folks sure love your drama,” Applejack smiled wryly.

“Hey, not all of us luck into rainbow laser necklaces.” Crimson shrugged as her partner turned a padlock. “Some of us have to make do with crystal legs and expert swordsmareship.”

“Your wing work’s not too shabby either.” Dash flapped over their heads, smile shifting seamlessly from respectful to malevolent. “And don’t worry, Night, if I hadn’t managed to memorize the code Rarity woulda.”

“Oh, was that supposed to be a secret?” Rarity batted her eyelashes. “Terribly sorry.”

Misty stopped dead, shut her eyes for a beat, and shook her head. “Said it before and I’ll say it again: at least you fillies are on our side.”

And at least she was smiling. Her crystal leg slid the unlocked shutter up.

“Ladies first,” Johnny smarmed, hovering in the right of the doorway while Spidey crouched on the wall to the left, both of them pulling sweeping overdone bows.

“Don’t suppose we could lock them out?” Dash asked, flapping indoors because quip priorities aside the hay she wasn’t going to be the first Element inside.

“Would if we could.” Misty ran her normal hoof through her dreads irritably as the Torch drifted a little too close. For a pony so into his own hair he didn’t always think about what he did to the humidity.

***

“Is, uh, is this it?” Spike asked.

He quirked a brow, looking over the tool racks and half disassembled carriages and chariots (even what looked like half a locomotive!) illuminated by the Torch’s flames. It didn’t get more impressive when Crimson pulled a cord and turned on an overhead bulb to compensate for the fading daylight. (Well, okay, the locomotive was still pretty cool.)

“Wait for it,” Spider-Pony assured, dropping from the rafters to perch on an under-construction automobile's chassis.

“Fine by me,” Pinkie Pie grinned, turning in place to take in the floorspace, “this place is cool. We could shoot a music video in here, Rainbow! Some bunting, a little smoke, maybe a disco ball…”

She stiffened and sniffed, her smile widening. “I can smell good times.”

“What?” Crimson asked pointedly as Night shot her a look.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“It sounds exactly like the chi stuff you and Dandy talk about all the time.”

“Shut up.”

“All the time.”

Pinkie bounced over to them. “Who’s Dandy? Does he like parties too?”

“Yeah, he does,” Misty smiled, half fondly. The rest was a lioness watching a cub bring down something smaller and fuzzier. “Wanna meet him?”

“Totally!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof at the lemons. “Cool fake front, snappy patter, bonds forged. Bar! Mead! Now!”

“Mead?” Crimson asked.

“Better do what she says,“ Johnny quipped, “the city’s chance of survival lowers with her blood sugar.” He finally flamed off, dropping next to Applejack, who flinched instinctively. “See that wrench by Mr. Threat or Menace’s tail?”

“Another lock?” Twilight guessed.

“Kinda,” Johnny grinned at her. “Code’s the same as the one out front, start at the left, then right and back again for each number. We’re old hooves at it, but since you’re guests to our fair city, who’d like to go first? Anypony?”

“I thought Twilight, agh, that is the, uh, princess might like to…” Spidey mumbled.

Twilight blushed and prayed the Daughters were too busy squinting at him for being weird to notice. “Oh, I don’t know, I’m still not sure about Spike being here at all!”

“It’ll be fine, Twilight,” Johnny breezed then turned to Spike. “Trust me kid, you and me aren’t even gonna be the craziest metabolisms in there tonight.”

“Good to know.” Spike managed a grateful smile despite the fact Rarity was giving the admittedly helpful Torch her ‘How Ga-llant!’ face.

“Wait.” Crimson pointed at Twilight with a wing. “You scored the combination too?”

“Elements of a feather?” Twilight chuckled awkwardly as Misty turned to stare at her.

“Mead,” Rainbow growled.

“Fine, fine!”

The now glowing wrench turned its bolt left and right, Twilight unknowingly working her way through one of the most important dates in the Equestrian age of heroes, until finally: a click.

A pneumatic hiss whistled through the garage. Fluttershy squeaked, backing away as a carriage next to her unfolded and reshaped itself with a bizarrely satisfying sound. Panels and wheels slid and telescoped as the entire frame glided seamlessly backwards to, no, into the wall behind it.

“Whoa,” Rainbow Dash and Spike said simultaneously.

The plush carriage seats, way more than even a luxury model like that should have, now formed what looked like the seating and padding of an elevator, its ornate doors wide and inviting. The rest had become a four wheeled ramp, the folding roof now serving as a jaunty awning.

Applejack let out an appreciative whistle. “Now that there is a fine piece of engineerin’! Magic?”

“Pine Particles.” Spidey’s grin was audible through his mask. “It’s the coolest.”

“Still say it’s cheating,” Johnny said, enjoying the fact Rarity still hadn’t let go of his foreleg from when she’d gripped it in surprise. Everypony turned to him. “Well! The secret should be in how you conceal the entrance! What’s the point if you’ve gotta defy space and time to do it? Where’s the craftsmanship?!”

“You always did love showin’ off how many gizmos you could cram into that air-kart of yours,” Dash said. She didn’t give him time for a follow up, pouncing catlike into the plush red interior and fiddling with the straps. “Let’s get this party started! If the door’s this awesome I can’t wait to see what’s on the other side! Where’s the warp drive on this thing?!”

“Will it take us all?” Twilight asked, trying and failing to stop Spike’s sprinting after Pinkie Pie with a wing.

“I know what you mean,” Spider-Pony said gravely. “Johnny and Rainbow’s egos in that small a space at the same time? The seismic implications when we hit the ground alone…!”

He chuckled and flinched as she used the failed wing to swat at him. Maybe Night piecing it together wouldn’t be so bad.

“Watch it Webs, she’s got a coltfriend.” Crimson wagged a mock admonitory wingtip as she followed Applejack and Misty down the ramp.

Twilight mimicked the gesture, trying not to crack up. “Yes Mr. Spider-Pony, and I’ll have you know he’s a very important Damage Control consultant.”

“Hmph! I’ll bet he can’t spin a web any size.”

“Damage Control?” Applejack blinked as she helped strap Spike in. “The place that cleans up after we save Canterlot an' such? Pete works there?”

“Yes,” Twilight said. ”I’ve told you guys a hundred times.”

“Huh. Good on ya, dude.” Dash gave Spidey a wingtip up, then registered his bugging mask eyes and the confused looks on Night and Wings faces. “For…loosin’ to the better pony! We always said Twilight could do better. Which she has. Because her actual beau is nothing like you.” Her impish smirk arrived as she got her stride. “For starters, his jokes are actually funny!”

The Daughters of the Dragon nodded at each other.

“Not one word,” Spider-Pony muttered as Johnny burst out laughing, springing off the chassis so hard it rocked slightly and slouching down the ramp.

Rarity glanced over her shoulder. “Coming, darling?”

“Is it safe?” Fluttershy was still hovering in place. “I mean, I know I always ask that question but in my defence, when was the last time we were in a trick carriage that was?”

“It’s an elevator now, Ms. Flüttershy!” Johnny cajoled encouragingly.

“I appreciate that Mr. Storm but, um, same question.”

Johnny blinked at Rarity.

“Maybe she needs a short, sharp shock,” Applejack muttered loud enough for the fashionista to hear and blush over.

Pinkie had somehow strapped herself in upside down. “There was that one in the theme park with the jets!”

“Pinkie, darlin’, that was Murderworld.”

Twilight and Spidey shared looks. The Ant-Pony transformed space could easily fit all eleven of them, but it was still going to be tight. And then there was the matter of getting the Pegasus on board to begin with. Maybe a group should stay behind to ride down with her? It’d be a shame to bring her all this way and then miss out, but forcing her would feel wrong.

“Our place is only a couple of blocks,” Crimson suggested, looking awkwardly between Elements.

“Oh, no, that won’t be, I mean, that’s very generous of you, but…” Fluttershy landed and took a few tentative steps, pausing with a hoof raised over the ramp.

“Pass me the keys.” All eyes turned at Rainbow’s sigh as she began unclipping her harness.

Johnny blinked. “What’re you doing?”

“Being a friend,” Pinkie smiled, still upside down, and slapped her own buckle, dropping headfirst to the padded floor. Misty and Spidey flinched aside as her hind legs and torso smacked down between them so hard she flopped right side up.

“Seriously?” Night’s head turned to each of them. “You came Sisters knows how far for this!”

Twilight tried to maintain eye contact with Spider-Pony as she slowly let go of her strap. He nodded, which made her feel better and worse.

“And if one of us can’t go then none of us do.” Dash shrugged free of her harness and stood up.

She caught Johnny’s eye and pretended she hadn’t. He turned to Rarity who nodded, smiling apologetically. He smiled back, feeling strangely impressed.

There was some kind of soft gale force behind him, and Dash was suddenly pushed back into her seat by the embrace of both Fluttershy’s forelegs and wings. Pinkie dropped to her belly and somehow slithered back into the upside down sitting position to bump the smirking Dash’s hoof.

Every time the Torch would think back to this moment, he still wouldn’t be sure if they’d planned that. And whether he should be impressed or terrified of the cunning.

Misty was giving Spike that What-Just-Happened look. Peter sympathised with both.

***

“So how’d ya’ll say this works again?” Applejack smiled, adjusting her hat to avoid poking Night in the eye as Johnny helped Rarity buckle in next to Spike.

“Just flick the switches under the arm rests,” Johnny smirked, gripping a strap in anticipation. “Any one’ll do.”

“Oh, I see!” Fluttershy nodded as her probing hoof found the small nodule on the underside of her armrest.

She pressed it one way then realised it was supposed to be the other and felt a mounting, almost pleasurable mechanical pressure building up in the walls behind her seat.

“Um, what now?”

“Doors are gonna close as we lock into position,” Johnny explained, partly to sooth her nerves (good luck) but mostly out of motor head euphoria as the ramp rolled itself in, the doors gliding seamlessly together as it folded up.

Soft lamps lit up as the last segment folded upwards, covering the carriage windows, though it featured a small window that allowed them to see out into the garage, which was dimming.

“Are we…?” Rarity looked around.

“Moving, yeah.” Johnny’s teeth shone bright enough to light up the whole compartment. “Or we will in a bit, but first we’ve gotta cover our tracks!”

“There’s a--” Spidey began but was drowned out by the involuntary gasps and yelps as a full-sized replica carriage mushroomed into view through the pane. “It’s okay! It was shrunk down!”

“Now we’re moving,” Johnny intoned as the replacement backed towards them…or rather they moved back from it as it slid into where theirs had been. It felt like they should have been grinding but the sensation was like being on oiled castors. “Mechanisms in the wall are slowly positioning us inside a disused chimney. Then they’re gonna rotate us. Don’t worry, this next bit is pure art, watch!”

Spike and the Elements couldn’t take their eyes off the windows as the garage, precious portal back to the real world, blurred into bricks and shadows almost faster than they could register. Twilight huddled closer to Spider-Pony, marvelling at the way the now vertical ramp wheels swung forward to click into almost invisible grooves in the wall, before she could remember to be embarrassed.

“Magnetism!” Johnny breathed as though inhaling an intoxicating scent. “We’re now perfectly secured in this shaft while winches fold out of the roof, reeling in the belts above us. You can only even hear it if you’re trying.”

Twilight slightly undermined the moment by giggling hysterically, scrambling to lock herself into one of the free harnesses. Applejack wished she wasn’t made of sterner stuff and gripped her strap more tightly.

“And now…” Johnny gestured out the doors.

The ramp wheels began to rotate leisurely then accelerated into blurs at almost Rainbow Dash speed. A purring filled the compartment as a strange simultaneous weightlessness and firmness crept up on all of them.

They were moving.

***

The Elements, even Fluttershy, were still giggling when the elevator eventually slowed to a crawl, set off again by the slight bobbing sensation as tons of metal and re-enforced wood rose a little before finally slotting into satisfyingly heavy sounding clamps. A chime sounded as the ramp and canopy unfolded again, the doors gliding open congenially. All that was missing was a robot voice wishing them a nice day.

“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash grinned, trying for the light beyond the doors, forgetting her harness and slamming back into her seat.

Misty shrugged. “You get used to it.”

“Spoilsport,” Crimson smirked, unstrapping herself.

Spidey helped a still sniggering Twilight out of her seat, Spike instinctively drifting towards them, tiff forgotten in the excitement of elevators and passageways and secrets. “Whoever’s on the door tonight’ll probably have questions,“ the Web-Slinger explained, “but you’re with us, so.”

“Mmm hmm!” Twilight nodded, biting her irrepressibly smiling lip as he gave her a steadying pat on the shoulder, rolled his neck and leapt to the passageway ceiling. She felt the reassuring weight of Spike clambering onto her back.

The party set off, the Pegasi and the wall-crawler preferring to stay off the ground even after the quick ride down in a spiffy cramped box. Cat’s-eye lights in the floor lit their way, giving the feel of trotting (and hovering and wall crawling) on the way to a movie premiere. Even Rainbow Dash was too busy being a tourist to shoot off ahead, drinking in every detail.

Industrial? Twilight thought, noting sturdy pipes lining the sides of the tunnel. They’d need power, especially for that elevator, but it doesn’t look like they’ve tapped into the city’s grid…would that even be legal? Of course not, half of them are vigilantes, don’t be silly.

But Johnnycake said chimney. Most flumes in Manehattan tend to extend all the way to basement level, even further since it’s easier to just keep adding new ones onto old foundations…so did they take over an existing space or was all this here when they arrived?

And if so, what for?

She shook her head, smile more under control now. She still had her…concerns about binding her friends’ destinies to the Elements of Harmony but Sisters, sometimes it was worth it just to run into stuff like this.

“Halt intruders!” commanded a Dr. Claw style voice from up ahead.

The Elements piled into each other, half stopping from shock, half trying to adopt combat stances but the Manehattanites kept right on moving.

“Hardy har har,” Night muttered to the grinning mare in front of a curtained archway. “One day kid, I’m gonna finally get your name out of the old woman and then we’ll see what other sounds you make.”

“Just trying to pass the time, Ms. Night,” the mare grinned. She was wearing a domino mask over both her face and cutie mark. A sticker, Twilight supposed. The eyes behind the mask went a little gooey. “H-hello Mr. Storm!”

“Hey.” Johnny flashed a half eye lidded smile. Rainbow rolled her eyes and swatted the back of his head.

“Is that a dragon?” the doorpony asked.

“He’s with us,” Twilight said sharply. Spike smiled.

“The princess and all her friends are with us,” Misty said, keeping the relish of a good title drop out of her voice.

“No, I understand,” the mare agreed hurriedly. “Um, your highness. Highnesses? Ah, it’s just we have to let every creature know there’s no aggressive power use in the establishment and sidek—” She saw Spike’s narrowing eyes and stood aside even faster than she’d intended. “—young partners must be accompanied by a mentor, guardian or some kind of adult at all times.”

Johnny winked at the group. “We like to pretend we have standards, you see.”

“And yet they let you in.” Dash took a step back then sprang forward, using him as a pommel horse to shoot herself through the curtain, Pinkie sliding under him and between his legs seconds after her. “Heads up everypony, the party has officially started!”

“Rainbow! Pinkie!” Applejack snapped with Applebloomian frustration and galloped in after them.

***

She froze as the curtain parting around her reminded her of what was on the other side, seconds before she found the eyes of other heroes on her.

“Um. Howdy?”

A few of the (literally) colourful crowd gave her nods and a few raised glasses before going back to whatever they’d been doing.

See weirder‘n us in their line of work, I guess. She looked around for the two hyperactive Elements. Well, weirder than the rest of us at any rate. An’ they ain’t even met Rarity yet.

Pinkie was popping up from behind seats and out of ceiling fans to make introductions, currently shaking the hoof of a serine looking martial arts type in a red headband and silver foreleg braces. Dash was already at the bar, shifting through cool poses as she discussed menu options with a masked bartender.

“Shang Chi!” Johnnycake called, inadvertently pushing past Applejack and catching her hat before it tipped over. “Sorry. Hey man, I owe you one for that hold! You’re not gonna believe how I had to break it out.”

“No problem,” Applejack muttered sarcastically as she adjusted her Stetson back into the proper position. She looked around to get her bearings as the others trotted up to her, doing likewise.

Plucky’s was a pro basketball court sized space, which seemed to have been built out of either a collapsed theatre or hotel lobby. Most of the space was naturally given over to tables, a few booths and gaming corners, though the crowd, a mix of ponies and other creatures, seemed equally comfortable standing.

Or leaning against pillars, or the slightly elevated bar where a stage would have been. If the place had been a theatre then the box seats above the entrance behind them must’ve been modified, since they looked more like Canterlot café terraces.

Twilight tapped AJ’s shoulder and pointed excitedly to one corner, where generators were fenced off. “Look, see that big one in the middle? That’s a miniature version of the sort they use in the dam back home. They must be using run-off from the East River tunnels to start with, get everything running, and those smaller generators take care of the rest. Isn’t that amazing?!”

“It’s impressive,” Applejack allowed as she watched Rainbow Dash bouncing excitedly around a surprised looking rock monster in a quintuple-XXL bomber jacket.

The walls were decorated with strategically placed posters and photos to add a bit of variety to their slightly faded velvet wallpaper, but the patrons seemed to cover that all by themselves. Applejack was aware and a little proud of how their group’s coats and manes all looked next to each other, but even the folks in regular(ish) clothes looked like they’d just come from a freak paint factory explosion in a Las Pegasus parade float museum.

Not that that’s a bad thing.

She’d caught sight of a zebra in a yellow hoodie with a burnished cobalt and amber coat, smiling beyond just politeness as she made her way up those tree trunk forelegs to fix on his brown eyes.

“He’s spoken for,” Night said, making AJ jump slightly as she made her way past and towards the hunk, who seemed to know her. “Relax, not by me, but she’s got a mouth on her even you and Rainbow couldn’t outrun. Where’s Pinkie Pie? I want Cage over there to tell me where my colt is so I can sic ‘er on him. Wanna watch?”

“Gotta lot to take in as is,” Applejack chuckled, indicating one of the wall posters above the bar.

It was almost billboard sized, a photo of that masked merc who’s costume sort of looked like Trotter’s (even though he always complained it didn’t, but he always had nothing except complaints about that guy), waving happily into the camera while screaming ponies fled a burning church behind him.

NO ADMITTENCE WITHOUT SUPERVISION, twin captions above and below it commanded.

“I hear ya,” Misty said and trotted towards the zebra, who’d been joined by a lanky green Earth Pony in a yellow high collar and head mask.

A yellow sash hid his cutie mark and AJ couldn’t help but wonder if it was the dragon looking thing tattooed on his chest and if that made it redundant. She blinked as the detective shared a smooch with the hippie. The powerful looking Zebra winked at her.

“Dandy?” she asked as Crimson stepped up to her.

“Iron Hoof when the mask’s on, but yeah.”

“Ah.”

“He’s not too worried about keeping secrets,” the swordpony assured.

“Oh, good! Sooo…” She felt a Rainbow Dashian grin coming on. “Him ‘n‘ her, right?”

“Yep.” Crimson smirked back.

“Poor fella.”

“Because they’re in love or because she wants to see if his zen can take Pinkie Pie?”

“Both.”

“Not to break up the new Masters of Disaster,” Spider-Pony cut in, pointing to the rafters, “but wouldja mind showing the girls around, Wings? Gotta speak to a deer about a devil.”

“If it’s that time of year when the stars align and he does more than grunt.” Crimson rolled her eyes. “Sure. See ya next crisis, Webs.”

“I owe you some fancy butter knives.” Spidey saluted them. “Back in a bit, gang!”

Twilight tried not to look too concerned as he ricocheted between pillars and into the shadows. Applejack craned her head back and squinted. She could just make out a horned shadow crouched sullenly on a beam, cocking its head slightly in Peter’s direction as he trotted along its perch easily as other ponies used a crosswalk.

“Oh my,” Rarity murmured, also looking up.

Applejack wondered if she meant the deer in the devil outfit or the other figures she could make out in the crisscrossing shadows. Some of them seemed to be looking back at her, and those were just the ones she could see.

Granny always said just ‘cause a branch doesn’t have any apples on it doesn’t mean it’s outta tricks.

Applejack shook her head at reality and trotted up to the bar before Rainbow said or ordered something that’d get them all thrown out.

Then again, she also says the simplest trick you can do with a branch is put out your eye.

To be Continued

Author's Note:

GLOSSARY

Comments

[Crack-Fic Casey]

It did occasionally cross her mind what it would have been like if she’d been in a position to teach the other future Elements, or if they’d been in a position to be taught at a magic school she supposed, given how Twilight had always risen above this kind of introversion by sheer academic enthusiasm. She had a feeling Rarity Belle and Rainbow Dash in the same room would be a bad idea and that she wouldn’t have been able to resist the temptation.

It occurs to me that we've only ever had two scenes of Celestia actually teaching ponies in the show.

“DÉTRUIRE!”

Celestia spun, staring into the daylight and greenery in the mouth of the monument as the rattle of out of control cartwheels, breaking scenery and screaming ponies blasted up from the ledge of the roof garden. She flexed her wings, preparing for take-off.

“What was that line Sharpe Script stole off you, dear?” Celestia smiled ruefully. “Once more unto the breach!”

Oh, that's from Justice League!

“Still say it’s cheating.” Johnny smirked, enjoying the fact Rarity still hadn’t let go of his foreleg from when she’d gripped it in surprise. “Well! The secret should be in how you conceal the entrance! What’s the point if you’ve gotta defy space and time to do it? Where’s the craftsmanship?!”

I'm with Johnny here. There's no point if its easy.

[TheManehattanite]

9761170

Oh, that's from Justice League!

Yeah, although I forget the episode! Sharpe Script was an attempt at Pony Shakespeare.

I'm with Johnny here. There's no point if its easy.

Snobs, the pair of you.