Super Pony Roomies

by TheManehattanite

Slight Learning Sensation (6)

19

“Are we sitting comfortably?” Rarity beamed, swirling her glass.

“I’m good,” Fluttershy’s voice drifted from under the sofa the fashionista was lounging on. If she couldn’t see any of it then she wasn’t complicit, right?

“Yeah, this’ll do.” Pinkie pouted up at Rainbow Dash’s perch as she sprawled upside down on a beanbag. “Since somepony decided bungee gear is illegal all of a sudden.”

“You only wanna be upside down ‘cause he is,” Dash muttered, waving at the still smiling and slightly swaying Peter Trotter, dangling from the living room ceiling by a web-line from his tail. “Besides Rarity’s drinks already took forever!”

“If you have a better way to enjoy everything we could ever want to know about our dear Mr. Trotter being dropped in our laps then I’d like to hear it!”

“Actually asking him stuff instead of downing margaritas in the middle of the afternoon?”

“It’s five o’ clock somewhere, darling.”

“It’s go time is what it is!” Pinkie bounced (upside down. Somehow) on her bean bag throne. “Pete! Pete! Pete! Over here! No, over here! Peter! When’s your birthday?”

Dash locked eyes with Rarity for a mutual roll.

“August 10^th,” Peter mumbled happily.

“I know, I know,” Pinkie giggled, waving the other two off. “I just wanted to hear him say it.”

“At least we know that’s true.” Dash stretched cat like on her windowsill perch and sat up a little. “And on that note: Pete! Lad Pioneer! Were ya?”

“And you wonder what I’d need these for,” Rarity muttered before taking a sip.

“It’s been driving me nuts!”

“I wasn’t.” Peter sounded slightly too chirpy this time. There didn’t seem to be any real pattern to it. His voice would just rise and fall like that, even in mid-speech. Could be the pills, could be the pianos.

Dash alternated at smirking between him and Rarity. “Was that so hard?”

“My uncle Glen was, though. That’s where I picked it up. Knots were one of the things I was good at. They’re really just patterns and engineering if you think about it. Funny how it worked out with the web-shooters and all, I suppose. Uncle Glen got me into it by comparing slipknots to pencil erasers, so if you made a mistake you could always start over again. To this day I still try and use ‘em when I’m hanging a perp in a web-cage. Make the guards job a little easier.”

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Pinkie cooed.

“Did your uncle also teach you how to make bad jokes?” Dash asked, relaxing back against the curve of the window.

“Kinda! Honestly dunno where those came from, just started doing it. Passing the time beating up muggers, I guess, that got old way sooner than you’d think. I was a cocky lil’ so and so that summer. After that, real super villains started showing up, and one day you wake up and you’re a few months from graduating and you realise you’ve been hitting this award-winning inventor in the head for the last three years. If that’s not ridiculous, what is? Uncle Glen was great though. Still remember the first trick he ever taught me: the ol’ You’ll Get All Wet routine.”

“Aww man!” Dash snickered along with Pinkie. “Classic!”

Rarity raised a brow. “What, that thing with the door and the bucket?”

“Totally!” Pinkie hooted, wiping her eye. “Didja get him back?”

“Yeah,” Peter smiled drunkenly but fondly. “Trick soap.”

Rarity winced at how loud the other two were laughing and took a soothing sip. Which made her wince a little more. Ice cube headache.

“Your uncle's cool,” Pinkie said.

“He was the best,” Peter smiled.

“Sounds it.” Dash’s grin became a leer with switch blade dynamicity. “Twofer! Who was your first kiss and your best kiss?!”

“Oooh, and the plucky Wonderbolt cadet from West Side Cloudsdale redeems herself by lobbing not one, but two hardballs!” Rarity crowed, almost tossing her margarita all over a stack of Twilight’s Sweet Filly High collection with the force of her toast. Dash doffed an imaginary hat.

“First…” Peter’s pupils changed size as his internal hard drive struggled to run on DruggedtoYourEyeballsware. “Fera.”

“Whaaaaaat?!” Dash bellowed with glee as Rarity choked mid-sip, briefly drowning her scandalised delight.

“Who’s Fera?” Pinkie asked excitedly. “Her name sounds fun!”

“The Black Sphinx!” Dash was back in the air now, wings beating from sheer Dudebro enthusiasm. “The jewel thief!”

“Ex-thief,” Peter mumbled, “although she keeps joking about stealing the crown jewels and then gets this look in her eye like when she’d be picking the lock on one of the Crime King’s cashes, so sometimes I’m not so sure. I think what really sums up our relationship is that the first time she kissed me was to paralyse me and sneak off with the Ostleheimer diamond.”

Fluttershy peeked her head out from under the couch to make sure she’d heard that right.

Pinkie pouted. “That doesn’t sound very romantic.”

“I don’t know, a mare who knows what she wants, that’s rather admirable.” Rarity grinned and levitated one of her hairpins to chime against her glass. “Best! Best! Best! Best!”

Dash joined in the chant, Pinkie gradually joining in on party principles as Fluttershy scuttled back to safety. They faltered as Peter’s eyes began to look in two different directions.

“Gem,” he burbled, “our first. Dunno if I really did turn into a firework display and then melt into a puddle but it felt like it.”

“Gem Stone?” Rarity crowed. “Oooh, I just knew you two had a history! It was practically smog in the air between you after that Sanctum thing.”

“Man, what the hay.” Dash shook her head. “Is there a single one of your friends you didn’t date first?”

Peter’s used rubber band of a smile began to part in response, and she frantically waved her hooves. “Wait, wait, wait, don’t wanna know, don’t answer that!”

“Fine, you big coward.” Rarity sucked down the last of her margarita and used her telekinesis to pour a fresh one from the ice bucket she’d insisted on fetching from the boutique. “♪Oh Peter, dear!♪ What do you think of our little Dashie?”

“She prefers to think of herself as the peoples’ Dashie!” Pinkie giggled as Dash glared between them, unsure how to feel about being ribbed and paid attention at the same time.

“Rainbow Dash?” Peter gently rotated on his line to face Rarity’s general direction.

“Hmmm. Dunno if we’d ever know each other if not for Twilight, really! We’d absolutely have bumped into each other in the business, but we probably wouldn’t have gone out for drinks after. It’d be nice if she didn’t have to be that kinda gal pal and mess with me every other second, but the more straight up threats mean she cares about Twilight almost as much as I do, and that’s good to see. Mom was a Pegasus and I think she’d have liked Dash a lot: she clearly loves flying like I do science, Twilight, and pizza. That order is probably not great. I’m out of things to say about Dash as a person because let’s be real, the only reason anypony thinks we’d hang out is because I’m friends with Johnny, and say what you will about her but she very definitely isn’t him, which is to her credit. Like, she actually learns from her mistakes, even if it takes a while. I’m probably on Johnny’s side because of the bro code but I don’t doubt he earned her wrath somehow, and it’d be hilarious if I didn’t keep getting caught in the crossfire. She’s a born hero, which I think is the problem: this is Equestria, we only really need heroes when the sky starts catching fire. She’s either gonna wind up saving this world for the rest of her life or taking it down with her. Her use of percentages offends me, but she’s got great hair.”

He had completed two more gradual rotations in the course of all that.

“Well?” Rarity raised an eyebrow at the blinking Pegasus.

Dash’s eyes flicked the ceiling as she processed. “Honestly? 3% unsure, 20% bite me and 77% flattered.”

“Awww!” Rarity telekinetically reached across the room and pinched her cheek.

“Yeah? Your turn! Pete! What’s your take on Rarity?”

“See Rainbow Dash re: Save and/or doom world.”

Peter seemed content with the situation on some level, his babble becoming more congenial. Maybe it was the blood rushing to his head in addition to the overdose.

“She’s like some alternate universe MJ. I think that’s why even though she’s gorgeous I’ve never really felt attracted to her. That and I’m the kid who feels the most comfortable standing in the corner at his own birthday party, and she exists on this Wood House level I can’t begin to comprehend. We’ve got a good respect/fear balance going on. I’ve always wanted to ask what she thinks of my costume, sort of the same way looking at a lit stove makes you want to put your hoof over it, but come on, that whole scene is beneath her. Sometimes I can’t believe we’re the same age, but whenever her friends make a joke she laughs like a little filly. The thought of her and Fera in the same room is terrifying. She loves Ponyville and I think that’s the only reason she’s still there, because it could not hope to contain her. She’d love staying in Manehattan but only for a couple of weeks, then the magic would go out of it for her, but I’m not sure how to tell her that without hurting her feelings. She’s also not just another Johnny, which is a relief because then I don’t think they could be friends and keep out of my hair. Her sister’s adorable but weirds me out.”

“Aren’t we having fun?” Rainbow smirked.

“Happy as a pig in imported mud,” Rarity smirked back. “If he hadn’t just implied I’m this close to running off with the town treasury I’d thank him for his candour.”

“We’re going to Hades when we die,” Fluttershy observed from the shadows.

“Oh, come on darling! Give it a go!” Rarity leaned onto her front to lower her glass, waving it like a doggy treat. Peter seemed to bob up and down at the same time, but it wasn’t clear if this was related.

“Pfft, amateur.” Dash settled back on her perch. “Pete! Fluttershy! Yay or nay?”

Rarity was almost thrown off as the other Pegasus’ head burst out from under the couch, magnetically attracted by the possibility of judgement.

“Oh, she’s great!” Peter had his back to her, seemingly addressing either Spike’s pinball machine or Twilight’s framed and autographed Princess Celestia vs Godzilla poster. “Not even talking about how she handled that Kraken and Calypso thing. Just, y’know, generally.”

“Oh!” Fluttershy blushed but smiled as Rarity patted her head in agreement.

“She and May would be really good for each other, though I’m always worried I still freak her out. I get the mask thing, that’s probably natural and it’s not like I ever do myself any favours, but it’s like I still freak her out no matter what I do. Or maybe she’s just that sensitive? In which case I’m still the bad guy! That feels like how that works? So I overcompensate by trying to be extra helpful, which doesn’t work because she’s an entire veterinary clinic and forest ranger platoon rolled into one and I didn’t even have a goldfish growing up. Some of her animals freak out around me, probably because of my radioactive spider-blood. She feels like the best part of Ponyville, because even though we don’t talk much she’s always made me feel welcome. Should also really get over that chivalrous instinct to protect her in the field, Princess Celestia sure as hay didn’t come to me to reform Discord, and that’s just the tip of her track record if you think about it. Like, can you imagine adding up all the little kindnesses she must do for pony and beast in a year alone?”

“Well, you know,” Fluttershy mumbled, fidgeting her wingtips because one of her forehooves was still stuck under the couch, “we all do our best.”

“You’re getting so much better at accepting compliments!” Rarity surprised her, not unpleasantly, with a sisterly forehead kiss. “Would you like to round things out, Pinkie?”

“Nah, half the fun is that if I dunno how folks’ll react to me then they won’t know either. Double the surprise!”

Rarity glanced at Dash, who’d always had that older-by-a-few-minutes-sister vibe with Pinkie, to see if that checked out. The Pegasus just shook her head, signalling to commit to nothing but uncommitting.

“But feedback is a big part of the catering process, so…” Pinkie mused. “Peter! No, it’s okay, you can keep looking at Twilight’s secret escape route--”

“It’s just a closet,” Dash said.

“Suuuure,” Pinkie grinned. “Anyway! On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the last party I threw you?”

Peter’s head lolled towards the floor as if from the weight of the question, eyes sparkling as addled synapses fought to form coherent sentences. Pinkie kept smiling as broadly, which made the other three look at each other as if hoping one of them would suggest using Twilight’s escape route first so they wouldn’t have to.

“I…dunno if you can systematise Pinkie-parties like that,” Peter said eventually, with the off-handedness of someone chatting about the weather but as distantly as from Mars. “Part of the fun is not knowing how you’ll react. It’s sort of like when your parents take you grocery shopping for the first time and you have no idea what a supermarket is. Maybe that’s just me, I don’t remember my folks too well, but random stuff’ll come back like that. Honestly, next to Applejack it feels like Pinkie’s the one I’d have the most in common with if we sat down together for more than five seconds. Y’know, Earth Pony upbringing, tight family. I’ve had to lift way over ten tons of rubble off my back more than once, so I can’t imagine the strength it must take to do everything she does. I mean, she really does want everypony to be happy! It’s why it doesn’t feel fair to give her an arbitrary number, what she does is super intuitive and all she can do is her best. Maybe that’s an Earth Pony thing too, I dunno. That’s probably prejudiced, right?”

“Nyegh,” Dash and Rarity dismissed, shrugging. Fluttershy didn’t dare say anything in case that made her prejudiced.

“Promised…self…wouldn’t…cry,” Pinkie whimpered, pulling a handkerchief with her cutie mark on it to dab at her eyes.

“When?” Dash asked frowning, then decided she didn’t care. “Somepony ask him somethin’ else!”

“You can’t be out of ideas already, darling.”

Dash shrugged. “He already told me everything important.”

“…when he was referring to you specifically?”

“Yeah, everything important.”

“In this whole conversation?”

“You’re full of question I’ve already answered today.”

That forced Rarity to down a fresh drink, which in turn forced Fluttershy to feel like she had to fill the silence. “Um, real or fictional, who’s your favourite superhero?”

“Oooooh!” Dash leered.

“Aquamage!” Peter was starting to sway back and forth a little for some reason.

A beat.

Dash squinted. “…seriously?”

“I dunno, that little sonar noise he made was always fun.” Pinkie put her hooves to her temples and bugged her eyes, pupils spiralling to fill in for the lack of radar rings. “Boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop!”

“Remind me,” Rarity suggested, relaxing back on the couch and wondering how Twilight had wound up with such a perfect match while she’d been searching for one since her homecoming coronation.

“The king of the seven seas!”

“Oh, can never have too many of those.” Rarity rolled her eyes, telekinetically shaking up a fresh margarita. “If everyone who said they were the king of the seven seas actually was then they’d be standing on each other’s shoulders! You could literally skip across the pond to Thestralia on their heads.”

“Boop-boop-boop!” Pinkie agreed.

“Okay, why?” Dash sighed. “I mean, I’m assuming it’s more than He’s-Not-Namor.”

“That is a huge plus,” Peter agreed, nodding with drunken solemnity.

“Ooh, I know that one!” Rarity waved a hoof. “The ecoterrorist, right?”

“Just because he feels passionate about the environment--” Fluttershy began, scowling.

“Doesn’t mean he gets to bust up my flight school spirit routine because he’s gullible enough to think the pendant Johnny gave me came from his treasury.”

“You hated flight school,” Rarity pointed out.

“It’s the principle!” Dash folded her forelegs, glaring at some bookshelves and waving a wing imperiously. “Go on Pete, enlighten us.”

“I forgot what I was talking about.” Peter smiled like two ends of a wire being pulled in opposite directions. “But all I remember is it made me happy. That happens a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll take a scorpion tail to the head or something and just, like, forget how to be happy, forever. My left foreleg’s gone to sleep.”

“Aquamage?” the Elements all prompted.

“Aquamage!” Peter swung forward, startling them with the sheer enthusiasm as much as the violence of the motion, which sent him penduluming back and forth across the living room. “He’s everything I wanna be!”

“…blonde?” Dash squinted. “Able to talk to fish?”

“Whale song is actually is one of the most complex forms of--” Fluttershy began.

“Shhh!” Rarity insisted.

“He’s a superhero who actually enjoys his work! Well, most of the time. I assume. He has his act together, that much is obvious. Seriously, do you know how much of the planet is covered in water? How far down all those trenches go? We haven’t even catalogued all the species in the Great Farrier Reef alone! And he’s in charge of all of that?! Seriously, if he just decided to wipe out crime what’d stop him? You think the mob’s more complex than the circle of ocean life? And this is assuming he wouldn’t just, like, buy up all their assets with centuries worth of lost pirate booty!”

“Wow.” Pinkie’s eyes were wide. “That all sounded amazing before it even got to the word pirate.”

“I’m mad how much that makes sense,” Dash agreed with begrudging respect.

“And his costume? One of the all-time greatest!”

“There is something about a stallion in chainmail,” Rarity admitted thoughtfully.

“And that’s just the super stuff! He’s not only married to someone who can share the weight of a crown, he’s a dad! So, his job’s inherently part of his family life but doesn’t control it! That’s basically the Equestrian dream, right? Work/life balance I think they call it. I wouldn’t know because I’m 24 and still wearing the same wrestling outfit I made when I was 15…well, okay, MJ improved on the design a ton and folks seem down with the emotive lenses, but it’s like has this stunted my growth or was I just destined to burn out after graduation?”

“Alright, steady on there…” Rarity sat up, slightly alarmed and almost spilling her drink over Fluttershy.

“Oh, also, y’know what? He’s a king, right? And Twilight’s a princess! Which is great, but y’know, it shook me! That’s okay, right?”

“Absolutely, absolutely!” Rarity sprang off the couch, trying to get under Peter without having to touch him. “Do you maybe want to come down now, dear?”

“No, it’s okay! I prefer this way sometimes. Probably a high off my altered brain chemistry. Where was I? Royalty! So Twilight’s got more in common with Aquamage than I do. Isn’t that neat? All these legends and folklore already sync up with actual history as is, and my girlfriend goes and does what my role model does just by existing: makes having Great Responsibility look possible. So when I look at Twilight even though it still intimidates me, Great Pony does it intimidate me, I feel like that Aquamage pipe dream is that little bit more possible? Does that make sense? What am I talking about, she already did that when she was just a Unicorn! Maybe it’s because you guys only have to break the Elements out every Summer, but I admire that…what’d we call it?”

“Work/life balance?” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Oh yeah! Damage Control kinda gives me that. I guess I should maybe break out my collection to try to figure out how he manages to have a royal life, because good as things are, Sun and Moon, so good, that’s a conversation Twilight and I’re gonna have to have, right?”

“We maybe aren’t the right ponies for this conversation…” Rarity mumbled.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” They all turned to Dash, sitting up sternly on her perch. “Look, I razz the guy ‘cause it’s fun and it’s easy, but y’know what all that tells us? Like, beyond the lamest superhero other than Johnnycake maybe isn’t so lame? He does care about Twilight. Watch! Yo, Pete!”

“Rainbow!” Rarity snapped in panic.

“You love Twilight?”

A breathless, processing pause. The tidal wave of Peter’s smile shrank and straightened with the simplicity of the answer.

“Yeah. All my heart.”

“Oh my…” Fluttershy wiped at her eye as Dash threw up ‘see?!’ hooves. Rarity was too busy smiling to roll her eyes.

“We knew that already though, right?” Pinkie looked between each of them like a puppy trying to work up the courage to ask mom and dad if it was okay to go mystery solving with the gang this weekend.

“It’s still nice to hear.” Rarity levitated her ice bucket, mildly pleased to see Fluttershy had taken a space on the couch. “I need to mix up some more. A couple of bumps, but I do believe we’ve got the makings of a thrill ride here! Anypony else want to ask something?”

“Oh, are you comfortable?” Fluttershy tried.

“Might try that lil’ nook thingy in a bit.” Dash indicated with a jerk of her head an alcove made out of a hollow in the trunk, now absent a vase of magnolias Twilight had kept to snack on. When they’d come back from a long quest in the mountains she’d found them all dead, and been too depressed by the sight to replace them.

“I meant Peter.”

“Then you’ve gotta ask him straight up.”

“Are you sure that’s how it works?”

“Well that’s happening, so…” Dash now nodded towards Pinkie, trying to see if she could seesaw her head back and forth and swivel her eyes as much as Peter was.

“Fair…” Fluttershy noted. “Ahem. Peter? Are you comfortable?”

“Sometimes!” Peter said cheerfully and didn’t elaborate. They were all kind of grateful.

“Oooh, I got one!” Pinkie waved to get his attention. “Is being upside down as fun as it looks?”

“Eh, it’s alright.”

“You ever hang upside down and just let all the blood rush to your head to see what happens?”

“Y’know, I’ve always wanted to, but then somepony’ll try to rob the stock exchange as if it has any actual money.”

“You ever wanted to eat some of your webs just to see what they taste like?”

“Gross!” Dash interrupted. “Quit hoggin’ him!”

“You don’t have any more questions!” Pinkie shot back.

“If I did, they wouldn’t be super disgusting ones like that!”

“Yeah?” Pinkie grinned a challenge that made Fluttershy grip one of the sofa cushions just in case she needed to hide again. “Betcha can’t top it.”

“No fighting over the concussion victim, you two!” came Rarity’s maternal voice from the kitchen.

“Oh, that’s how you wanna play it?” Dash’s fangs gleamed so bright it didn’t matter that they were metaphorical. “Pete, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal! Itty bitty rumour I’ve always wanted to clear up!”

She flapped closer and timed leaning in just as Rarity and her now only slightly more appropriate drinks returned. “Is it true you eat bugs?”

“Oh please,” Rarity scoffed. “You’ve met his aunt. As if somepony raised with those manners would ever--”

“I mean, I’m not proud of it,” Peter burbled.

The room erupted in Dash’s laughter, Rarity’s duelling shrieks of outrage and horror, and Pinkie’s malfunctioning spring noise as she bounced backwards into her beanbags in disgust.

***

Outside, Discord slithered from the living room window, which hadn’t been open before, up to the branch Owloysius was napping on. He turned to camera, held up a finger for shushing then rummaged behind him. He yanked the string of a Spidey plushy in his lion paw as far back as he could with his chicken talons and released.

“WALLOPIN’ WEB-SNAPPERS!” Lil’ Spidey™ bellowed in a high-pitched Josh Keaton voice.

A startled Owloysius crashed into the foliage, hooting in bewilderment and fighting his way back to the sanctuary of the tree through the only available opening. He zigzagged around the living room in a befuddled rage , his only instinct through the sleep disturbed panic to get revenge on the source of that voice, taking up Twilight’s time and now hanging from her ceiling like he owned the place!

***

“Wha--?!” Dash was knocked out of the air by the brown blur, crashing into Pinkie’s bean bags and catapulting the yelping party pony into the couch Rarity had collapsed onto, in turn launching the fashionista, margarita kit and all, into the air as it tipped over.

All three shrieked as the cocktail splashed onto Twilight’s CD player, not so much because the magi-tech burst into flames but because they were now inside a tree that was on fire!

“Owloysius!” Fluttershy cried, having taken the precaution of hitting the deck when he burst in and now on her hooves. “No! Bad!”

She was flitting through the air, trying to match the owl’s furious dives for Peter’s face. The burst of flame and sudden smoke alarm understandably distracted her, and she was clipped across the nose by an avenging wing, crash landing on top of Pinkie and triggering some of the party favours in her hair.

Rarity shrieked her way out of transfixed awe at the primordial art piece that was about to become of Twilight and Spike’s Crystal Zeppelin and Destiny’s Fillies albums and, y’know, home as she was suddenly blinded by streamers and felt sparks (confetti) spreading over her hair! Pinkie’s hoof was tangled in one extra-long streamer, dragging her after Rarity as she began circling the room in terror.

Peter smiled happily at the lengthening flames and thought addled, upside down thoughts.

Rainbow Dash’s Wonderbolt training finally cut in and sent her lunging for one of the library’s six fire extinguishers (two of which Spike had brought out of self-awareness) in the kitchen. Unfortunately, Rarity and Pinkie happened to be in the way when she reached the entertainment centre and emptied the foam over as much of the scene as she could.

Rarity, now a glistening, glob covered fringe and a mouth, screamed in her general direction, setting Dash off and tumbling away from the faceless horror and into the oblivious Peter, her wings striking his shoulder and sending him spinning around fast enough to startle the enraged Owloysius back. But not so far back one of his splaying wings didn’t brush the arachnoid’s nose.

“Everypony good…?” Dash panted as a trembling Rarity watched the paste and flakes tumble out of her fringe.

And then Peter sneezed.

The shrieking Elements hit the deck as
A) Peter’s web-line snapped loose of his tail, plunging him face first into the floor and triggering his foreleg web-shooters, striking the over turned couch and yanking it upright as he flopped into a discarded ragdoll pose, at least cleaning up that mess,
B) a final piano key, erupting from where we’d just be better off not thinking about, ricocheted wild helix patterns around the abused trunk with spaghetti western sound effects.

Fortunately, the only casualties were a horsehead bust now facing the wrong way, a broken lamp, and Fluttershy’s nerves as the key plinked contentedly into the bean bag between her legs. She goat-fainted backwards onto the one behind her.

The smoke alarm finally shut off as she hit the fabric. Content that vengeance had been wrought, Owloysius settled on top of one of the bookcases and grumpily turned his back on the entire affair.

“…I think we’re good?” Pinkie dared after a few eternally ringing seconds.

20

“And that concludes our tour of Prime Chambers!” the tour guide announced as her boat languidly turned a bend into the undercity chamber it had set out from. She looked up as something shimmered between the waterfalls cascading above, but kept going on instinct. “Please wait until the ride has come to a complete stop and keep all hooves, wings, paws and talons inside at all…times…”

The tourists in the front rows had just enough time to squint at where a mining cart from the South Bridge mining tours had been in the air before it slammed down onto the quay, trundling to a stop at the admissions booth. Some of the waiting crowds broke out into uncertain applause.

A pumpkin mask rose out of the pile inside before Twilight finally managed to pull it off. “Everypony in one piece?”

“Wait!” Johnnycake sprang up next to her, Spike’s arms shock-locked around his neck as he patted frantic hooves all over his mane. “…yeah, my hair’s fine.”

“Anypony got my hat?” Applejack managed from somewhere under a pile of dazed pumpkin-heads.

“Stored it in a pocket space for you when we took that first dive,” Twilight smiled woozily, voice strangely thick as she summoned it in a violet twinkle.

“Much obliged, Twi! You okay?”

“About to bEEEGHUGH!” Twilight hunkered over the mouth of the cloth pumpkin until the shivers went away and she could breathe again. “Ooooh, and I used to love that ride…”

Johnny patted at his collar, inadvertently slapping Spike’s hands free and sending him sliding down his back. “Got some mints here somewhere…”

“Fantastic!” Blueblood struggled out of the pile, tipping all four of his rescuers to the stone floor. “I mean, the commitment! The level of detail! It really does smell as if Sparky went and boaked! Marvellous!”

“You can’t be serious!” Spike snapped, helping Twilight to her hooves. “What part of any of that felt fake to you?! When they were braking stalagmites off to try and spear us?! When Applejack had to lasso that lever so we wouldn’t crash?!”

“Answered our own question didn’t we, old wallet skin?” Blueblood chuckled, putting his shades back on despite the fact they were now underground.

“So this’d be what they mean by a sheltered life?” Applejack muttered as she used the last of her rope to bind the unconscious pumpkin-heads together.

“Then again a lot our adventures are that You-Had-to-be-There sort of story.” Twilight shrugged, dabbing at her mouth with a handkerchief. “And it’s better than a panicking prince, believe me. Okay, time to take stock! Did we lose the last of them, and if so where are the re—?”

“DESTORY!”

The ponies and dragon yelped as another cart burst from the upper caverns, furious pink eyes hurtling towards them.

Johnny instinctively flamed on, then felt ice cold panic as he realised the thermal pulse he’d pushed the cart back with would leave it’s riders with a possibly neck breaking fall...

A purple aura flashed around them in time with the violent sound of the cart ramming off the cavern side and tumbling into the rushing shadows of the water.

“Nice reflexes,” Johnny grinned as he turned to Twilight.

“School of Magic is big on multitasking.” Twilight shrugged humbly, then stopped short of lowering the five berserkers onto solid ground. Applejack retrieved her back up rope from their cart and stepped forward expectantly, but Twilight shook her head.

“Sure, sugar cube? They’re kinda all…”

“DESTROY!”

“That’s French you know,” Blueblood stage whispered to the Torch.

“Point,” Twilight agreed with Applejack distractedly, “but maybe…”

She sent her captives drifting to one of the smaller torrents.

“DESTROY! DESTROY! DES--”

The overlapping chants snapped into garbled shrieks loud enough to carry over the echoed churning of the falls. Twilight quickly yanked the field out, the shivering bodies somehow more unsettling just spasming in mid-air than they’d been wielding sharp objects, but also more innocent for missing their pumpkin-heads. Their unfocused eyes were clear.

“Could we get a blanket, thanks?” Twilight called to the nearby staffers, who jogged off towards a row of sheds at the end of the quay. “Can any of you hear me? Are you alright?”

“P-P-Princess Tw-w-wiligh-t-t…?” one of them quavered.

She smiled and nodded, looking at Johnny. He saluted, flaming off to avoid startling the restored civilians but left a little glow in his hooves, carefully heating them up before the medics returned.

“So we’ve got one way to snap ‘em out of it,” Applejack grunted, finishing up binding the unconscious pumpkin-heads together. “And we know what the big bad looks like!”

“Not really,” Johnny said simply. He looked between their confused expressions. “What? We don’t. She was a Skrull.”

“Skrulls are real?” Twilight asked at the same time AJ said, “You got somethin’ in your throat?”

“No, and yeah. Respectively…backwards?” Johnny shook his head before turning to Applejack. “Skrulls are aliens! Like if changelings were lizards and also lamer. Only reason they haven’t taken over this planet yet is, in this order, competence, lack thereof, the amount of magic in the atmosphere making a full-scale invasion impossible and, last but not least, the world’s greatest team!”

“But there’s only two of us Elements here,” AJ smirked.

“Yeah, okay, that was a good one,” Johnny huffed. “Point is they’re the ones after Mr. Bluey Four Shoes, and the one we saw might not even be female. Even if they are they’ll have dropped that disguise by now…”

“And could be anypony, anywhere,” Twilight finished, looking up from reorganising their jolted saddlebags to scan the crowds thronging the tour queue, the undercity streets beyond, even the guards approaching the shivering or unconscious pumpkin-heads.

“Still not up on the difference between a twist and a turn,” Blueblood enthused, clapping his hooves, “but this play is full of them. Shape changing aliens, cart chases, royalty in disguise. You, lizard! Save my spot and don’t skimp on the saucy details when I get back.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, where’re you going?” Twilight teleported in front of him and winced as she was pushed along helplessly, nose buried in Blueblood’s chest as he trotted towards the street. It smelt of expensive cheeses and weapons grade hair products.

“Just nipping out to complete an important errand,” the prince explained cheerfully. “Agh, wait! A common errand, which is not even in the same milky way as a royal one! Did I say royal? I meant important! Easy mistake to make! Importance and royalty, not mundanity and royalty…ooh, unless that’s the joke! What do they call it? Satire! D’you know until Sassy explained that to me, I thought it was a type of cracker?”

“A saltine?” Spike asked as the rest jogged to keep pace in the new ocean of civilians.

“Very generous of you, but I filled up on Istallion salads and imported breads with names I can’t pronounce before setting off for that weasel in diamond dog’s clothing.”

“You’re going back to Aggregate’s?!” Twilight boggled, redoubling her efforts to push him back, hooves scrabbling as she turned around and tried to remember how to access her new Earth Pony strength, then realised the mental block here was that she’d probably be a pretty wimpy Earth Pony. She smiled awkwardly at the passing shoppers. “Heh, hello, hi, pardon us…”

“We lost ‘em in the tunnels and the only thing dumber than us goin’ back is that Skrull varmint still bein’ there,” Applejack pointed out reluctantly. “At least now we can stick with him in plain sight.”

“Lucky us,” Twilight muttered, still on her hind legs and playing cowcatcher to Blueblood’s locomotive.

“So immersive!” Blueblood chuckled as they took a turning, tourists parting in his and Twilight’s wake. “I take back almost everything I’ve ever said about the arts. Not artists though, got to have some standards, don’t we? Oh! Well, we specifically do not have to, for we are hardy, common folk! Standards? What are those?! Do they come with hay fries?”

“You know we know you’re nobility, right?” Spike asked from Applejack’s back, since Twilight was preoccupied, folding her forelegs and just riding the indignity out.

“Shhh!” Blueblood hissed, right in her ear as he turned to Spike. “You’ll give away the ending!”

“It’s only ‘til we catch that…Skrull,” Applejack sighed, then blanched as she caught sight of one of the under-plaza’s clocks. “Oh, hug my life, this whole thing hasn’t even taken an hour yet.”

“They built mine carts fast in the olden days,” Twilight muttered.

She flopped off Blueblood’s chest, spinning and using a foreleg caught in his scarf to be dragged behind him, like a motorboat made of privilege, so she could talk to the others. “Okay, strategy time. We know what we’re up against but so does his stalker. Johnny, you’ve got the most experience with these people, what can we expect?”

“People?” the super pony chuckled almost incredulously.

“They’re an extra-terrestrial civilisation,” Twilight said simply. “I mean, alright, they’re an aggressive, devious and imperialistic one, but yeah, they’re people! Just…not very nice ones. Say what you will, but to get here they’d have to have developed the facilities for space travel well before we built the steam engine!”

“No, no, I get it!” Johnny assured. “It’s just…a lot of people just think of them as a couple more green weirdos the FF curb stomp every week. Don’t get me wrong, they can be the worst, but saying they’re just bad people, that is…a very good thing to hear coming from a princess.”

“Oh.” Twilight felt like her blush must be lighting up the entire cavern. “Th-thank you!”

“For once the dumpster fire that walks like a stallion an’ I agree on somethin’!” Applejack winked. Johnny wasn’t sure if he was included in it and if he should be flattered. “We do know what to expect, though. Just not which poor pony’s gonna wind up bein’ used to do it.”

“Yeah, that’s weird.” Johnny frowned, not so deep in thought he couldn’t notice the interested looks he was getting from a passing sorority. “If the Skrulls could jerk us around like the Puppet Master or the Ring Master on a really good day they’d have done it way before now.”

He looked up, stung by the static of an awkward look that passed between the two Elements. “…what?”

“Nothing!” Twilight said quickly, lying so Applejack wouldn’t have to tell him about that time they and Rainbow Dash had been drafted into the Circus of Crime. Then decided they’d do a better job and overthrown the Ring Master before planning to steal all the gold in Equestria because they were evil now. Pinkie Pie was still fuming she hadn’t made the cut…

“Chrysalis had a mind thing, didn’t she?” Spike mused.

“Yeah, she does…” Johnny sighed wistfully. “But! No one would imitate that chin just for fun, so it’s definitely the other shape shifting pains in the tail. Not their M.O., though. Too public. Chrysalis’ problem is she needs to let you know you’ve been blindsided, the Skrulls are big on infiltration so they can set you up for the big takeover.”

“Which they can’t do here, y’said?” Applejack asked. “I remember readin’ in school about how the stuff in the atmosphere’s so powerful it changes even the biggest asteroids into tennis balls, or whatever.”

“That’s a hypothetical example,” Twilight cut in with her museum tour voice, “because it could be something entirely random! But yeah, that’s why we’re still here. The magic around this planet is so powerful it can interfere with nearby stars, which is why we need Avatars like the princesses for the sun and the moon. Discord wishes he could come up with as many spontaneous magical frequencies as the outer atmosphere! One consistent thing? It only seems to…‘stop’ technology. We’ve only had contact with alien races because of ships that got wiped trying to enter. Those that survived their crash landing, anyway. It’s easier to leave from down here but it’s still a close thing, which is why nopony or other civilisation is seriously pursuing space travel. It’ll take who knows how long just to get the basics ready, never mind getting it all past the barrier!”

Applejack frowned. “So how do these folks set hoof here in the first place?”

“Big ships get the big blowout,” Johnny explained. “For whatever reason the magic doesn’t seem to care about itty bitty pods or whatever, so the Skrulls and the Kree can usually get a small platoon down here. It’s why every space case who ever hit Manehattan is one imperious poser with laser powers and like twenty basic minions. Couple hours to handle, tops. Captain Ultra could take ‘em.”

“That’s reassurin’!”

“You haven’t met Ultra.”

“Nah, I mean the atmosphere stuff,” Applejack clarified, trying not to sound too irritated and stay in business mode. “Means we won’t be that outnumbered. But go back a sec. Ya said they’d have a point guy with powers, right? Don’t you guys have a Skrull with all your mojo? I’ve seen Snips ‘n’ Snails playin’ with the action figure. My Granny gave ‘em a talkin’ to ‘cause they almost hit her with the spring arms once.”

“Yeah, those things were always gonna be a hazard. I dunno what marketing was thinking, they’re usually so on the ball.” Johnny shook his head. “I mean, yeah, you’re right! The Super Skrull! And he’s not the only one! They kept trying to come up with new ones after him, like…”

His frown deepened, like nitro glycerine being poured into an oil tanker spill. The girls exchanged glances.

“There’s more than one?” Twilight prompted.

“Unfortunately,” Johnny muttered. He looked up, probing the other three’s eyes for a beat. “None of ‘em were in Kl'rt’s league, though. Mostly ambitious officer types looking to make a big splash.”

“Hmm. Takin’ out an Equestrian noblepony might do it,” Applejack mused as they followed Blueblood around a corner and halfway across Grand Grotto. A few ponies were trying to approach Twilight with donations, assuming the princess being towed by an anonymous Unicorn was some kind of student thing, but were hesitating at the lack of a cap to drop change into. “Why Blueblood though? What’d he do, write ‘em a rubber cheque?”

“Maybe they think we’d let ‘em take over if they took down Equestria’s least popular lapels model,” Spike suggested.

“They’ve tried zanier things,” Johnny agreed.

“They do seem oddly public for a species focused on subterfuge…” Twilight adjusted her grip on Blueblood’s scarf to make the next turn. “And then there’s the mind control and the fact Canterlot isn’t a landing strip by now! Have any of these, uh, ‘Super’ Skrulls ever displayed anything like that?”

“Other than maybe one or two of their anti-FF units none of them were that memorable.” Johnny shrugged, coming to a decision.

She had Water Mane under something powerful. She BRAGGED about it. Reed still isn’t sure what she used, but that’s where I’ve seen that eye effect before. Can ask her about it when she’s in an E.U.P. cell. At the bottom of a well. In the Frozen North.

And I think I know just what bait to use. Buuuut I’m not sure I can spring the trap with two rookie Skrull hunters leaning over my shoulder. Plus, if I let Princess Responsible and Anti-Social Oakley in on my plan, they probably wouldn’t let me do it. Time for the SUBTLE-shoe Torch to flame on!

….note to self: trademark Subtle Shoe. Rarity loves mystery stuff, she could write, I could co-produce!

“Don’t do that,” Applejack muttered.

“Don’t do what?”

“Smirk. Like in general, but we’re tryin’ to save a life here?”

“What part of Captain Ultra could take them did you not get?”

“The part that lets ya slack off,” Applejack snapped. “What, you’ve known about these folks since high school so it’s not a big deal? Pardon us little ponies if the idea of competent changelings freaks us out.”

“Competent changelings is one hay of an oxymoron,” Johnny chuckled. Mistake.

“Yeah?” Applejack’s eyes flashed dangerously. “An’ where were you when Chrysalis was this close to turnin’ this city, this kingdom, into her private snack bar? We’ve all got a couple extra scars an’ bite marks, but that doesn’t matter ‘cause you could just blow in an’ give ‘em a case o’ sunstroke?!”

“Worked before!” Johnny retorted. “The FF’s kept way worse than Chrysalis out of Equestria for years!”

“An’ if not for Cadence an’ Shining all she had to do was get past ya once! Ever think maybe the reason you’ve gotta fight Skrulls over and over’s ‘cause ya don’t take stuff like this seriously?! No way your family doesn’t!”

“Of course we do, but we’re pros!” Johnny snapped. “We can’t get the job done if we’re too busy freaking out over--”

“Oh, I’m havin’ the sane response here but that means I’m not ‘professional’?” Applejack practically spat, Spike gripping a little tighter in case all this rounding on Johnny threw him off. “Professional at what, even?! We don’t know what this whole mess is about any more than we did yesterday!”

“Wait an ivory inlaid Neighgyptian burial tick,” Blueblood cut in, almost swinging Twilight into a hay dog cart as he looked over his shoulder. “I’m confused, does this mean Candy and Captain Shiny aren’t actually married?”

Applejack glanced at Twilight. “This is Canterlot. Could always stick him in a vault for the rest of his life.”

“Standing right here!” Johnny protested. The air in the vicinity became so warm the ghost of vapour began to rise off a nearby fountain.

“She means Blueblood, man,” Spike explained hurriedly. Flames wouldn’t hurt him but the prospect of being on an angry AJ’s back chilled his blood.

“Not that the idea doesn’t have a certain appeal,” the workhorse cut in.

Johnny’s coat bristled with sparks, hating how much he admired all these shots. Shoppers flinched. Twilight finally let go of Blueblood’s scarf, sliding between the two as she started trotting.

“Alright, calling it,” she sighed. “AJ’s right Johnny, we’re not sure what we’re in the middle of here. I want to pick your brain in a bit, but right now the best move is getting Blueblood somewhere secure, after this shopping trip. Or whatever he’s up to.”

“Sub plots lend flavour,” Blueblood called over his shoulder cheerfully. “Aunt Celestia taught me that! No relation to the Day Bringer! My family is just broom handlingly religious!”

“We’ve been straight up talking about you by name this whole time!” Spike fumed. “The point of a sub plot is only the audience knows it’s happening! How do you think plays work?!”

“A magician never reveals their secrets!”

“That’s show ponies!” Twilight snapped, feeling the gravitational pull as she shot all the way back to junior year. “Magicians tell us how their stuff works all the time! They just hide it in riddles or song lyrics to make it more difficult to fall into the wrong hooves, that’s all!”

“By spear of destiny flavoured gum Sparky, it’s like school never ended!”

Twilight attempted a more rapid version of Cadence’s breathing technique. Nervous murmurs went through the crowds as the cavern street and shop lights flickered purple.

“We should probably go on ahead,” Spike suggested hurriedly. “…to the. The. Castle! Tooo…let them know to get ready for Blueblood?”

“They’ll probably take it better if you tell them it was his aunt’s idea,” Johnny said with a wink. “Scoring sympathy points also softens bad news! Make sure they know of your brave comrades (and Applejack), who heroically spent the whole journey in Blueblood’s presence!”

Twilight nodded. “Two teams. Applejack and I will stick with him and trick him up to the castle. Spike, you and Johnny head there first and let the princesses know they’re about to have visitors. Maybe hostile ones if we can’t find the Skrull first.”

“Look, I know Skrullella de Vil’s still out there but she’s probably holed up in some Cauldron dive by now,” Johnny protested, trying not to snap. Part of it was uncertainty, this didn’t feel like being benched, but… “Plus, if Spike takes the underground up to Palace Shades he’ll be surrounded by ponies who’d notice if--”

“Trust me, Spike can absolutely look after himself.” Twilight shared smiles with the dragon. She took advantage of Blueblood being distracted by a toy shop window to stop and speak to Johnny more directly. “You’re the most experienced with these creatures, so you’re the best choice to shore up the castle. Spike’s got clout with security and bureaucracy if the princesses aren’t there to okay us.”

“You sure?” Johnny asked. “I mean, it’s just one Skrull…”

The flipside of his subtle approach: it wasn’t that he didn’t get how dangerous the situation was, but to have room to prepare he’d have to underplay the threat of a Skrull maybe too crazy to care about getting seen. This might be his one chance to pin her to the wall.

On the other hoof, leaving just two ponies to deal with that threat he was underplaying didn’t feel very heroic.

“Who can look like anyone and brainwash them!” Twilight countered. She noticed Blueblood moving on and hurried after him, trying to speak plainly but calmly so the jogging didn’t make her sound like she was yelling. “AJ’s strength and my magic’s better off here, until we can get Blueblood under Celestia’s roof. Not that I don’t trust you guys but, well, fire’s even more of an issue down here than above ground. There’s only so many layers of rock before you hit maintenance lines, like gas pipes.”

“Point,” Johnny admitted, igniting and ignoring the startled shoppers as he drifted alongside her. “We’re only a compact call away if anything happens.”

“Might come sooner than you think,” Twilight sighed, glancing over at Blueblood. They’d reached one of the Canterlot underground’s terminals and the prince was trying to find a low enough coin to tie a thread to, in order to cheat the turnstile. “Can’t say I’m not giving you the easier job, right?”

“Fair,” the Torch chuckled. “Okay little guy, hop on.”

“Sure,” Spike said awkwardly, eyes darting between the three adults before sliding off Applejack’s back. The Torch cupped his hooves to keep floating and allow the dragon to clamber up over his shoulders, which was cool of him. “You guys riding back to Mousehole?”

“Staircase Burrow, but same difference,” Twilight smiled, heading for the turnstiles, Applejack following. “Ask them to prepare some suites close to Blueblood's. Nothing fancy, just so we can stay close.”

Spike saluted. “Can do!”

Applejack tipped her hat to him, then locked eyes with Johnny. “Welp. Good luck.”

“Horseshoe’s in the name,” Johnny smirked.

“I was talkin’ to Spike.”

“Y’know, while I’m up at the castle maybe I should lodge a complaint with the princess. See when all that friendship stuff is supposed to show up.”

“When you start earnin’ it.”

They blinked at a yelp. Twilight was trotting resignedly through her own turnstile so she could help Blueblood from the other side, because he’d gotten himself stuck in the bars and was languidly rotating into the floor and the roof like a tragic vaudeville act.

Applejack sighed, stuck her metro card into her mouth and slid it through the magi-tech reader. Halfway through she kicked the side, sending Blueblood shooting out and across the room to ricochet off a poster for the underground’s latest ad campaign.

In this case it was Princess Celestia, a publicity photo of her reading a book overlaid (with her permission and participation, of course) onto a train carriage background, so it looked like she was the tallest of four business ponies of ascending height sharing a seat. ‘If it’s Good Enough for Her…’ the slogan went, repeating with similar images of Luna, Cadence and other celebrities.

(One of the ‘If it’s Good Enough for Him…’ posters was Spider-Pony, put together from archived footage of the Web-Head sneaking a free ride in the doorway of one of the carriages. Mercifully it was too far along the terminal for the Torch to see it.)

“Soooo…” Spike began diplomatically as the Torch drifted further off the ground. “You went to the same flight school as Rainbow Dash, huh?”

“If you don’t want me to do any loop-de-loops you can just ask.”

“Oh, was hoping they’d be included, actually.”

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” the Torch smiled, and blasted down one of the utility caverns, the dragon’s whoops echoing after the contrail had faded.

21

“Second thoughts?” Applejack asked as she and Twilight took up positions close enough to Blueblood to keep watch, but not so close they’d have to do anything strenuous, like acknowledge his existence.

“You know there’s no off button for big sisterhood,” Twilight smiled reassuringly. “But you trust Rainbow with Apple Bloom, so.”

“I meant me bein’ here,” Applejack sighed, gazing balefully down the tunnel to make sure more pumpkin heads weren’t about to come rattling out of the darkness. “At all.”

“What?” Twilight blinked. “Oh! Look, you and the Torch going at it is far from ideal but, well, if it came to a choice between you then you’d be here! No question. Nothing against Johnny but it’s us. Y’know?”

She looked warily at where they’d just come from. “Also, you’d tell me what your plan was even if you thought I’d freak out, soooo…”

“Yeah, findin’ out what he’s not sayin’ is gonna be real fun, you can just tell,” Applejack muttered ruefully.

“AJ, I’m not mad at you,” Twilight assured. “If that’s what this is…?”

“I’m disappointed in myself, I guess.” Those green eyes finally looked up. “Been around big mouths all my life, I shouldn’t be lockin’ horns every five minutes. He’s as much of a flake as Dash rants about, but ya oughta be able to rely on me!”

Twilight blinked in shock. “I do!”

“Yeah,” Applejack sighed, smiling. “An’ I’ll try an' do more to deserve that. Cross my heart an' hope to fly.”

“But…?”

“Well, splittin’ us up the way ya have, that’s solid strategy. I know I’d do it.” Applejack glanced at the sudden flicker of an approaching headlight as the station began to fill with rumbling metal. “But…y’know. That’s not the real reason ya split us up, is it?”

The train’s entrance was too loud for replies and then there was the bustle of passengers getting off and on, and the quick one man street theatre of Blueblood trying to get upgraded to the (non-existent) first class car while maintaining his cover, and then trying to find seats close enough to him to keep watch.

Twilight hated how relived she was that this kept her too busy to answer the question.

***

“Make way, make way!” Blueblood announced, stumbling over his scarf to try and beat the rush when they arrived at 10^th and Hollow. “Royal personage on deck!”

“Yeah, so quit getting in the princess’ way!” a filly called from her mother’s back. Murmurs went up and down the car as Blueblood’s shades shook from the twin shocks of the slip and who he’d inadvertently complimented.

“What?” Twilight pantomimed a look up and down the train as Applejack almost bit her hat brim trying not to laugh. “Oh, right. Sorry, folks! Drama class assignment. This is just really good cosplay! Forgive my study buddy, he’s playing Prince Blueblood…incognito! Method acting, you know? Trying to get at the role within the role.”

“Careful or we’ll start to enjoy ourselves,” Applejack giggled as they trailed along in the fuming principle’s wake. “Nice bit of improv, though.”

“Thanks,” Twilight grinned. “Johnnycake rubs off on you, I guess.”

“Don’t let Peter hear ya say that,” Applejack snorted, glaring at Blueblood’s sullen shoulders. He caught his reflection in one of the train windows and they perked right back up.

“They have their own…chemistry,” Twilight managed after the blushing had subsided enough to get some circulation back to her brain and start working on this particular one of the many problems at hoof on this mission. “They’ve known each other since they were in high school. It’s not quite finding out you’ve got a special connection since before you met, but…”

“You should hear some of the stuff Dash has to say about him an’ flight school,” Applejack shot back. “An’ y’know he’s tryin’ to monopolise Rarity? While he’s seein’ somepony else?”

“You’ve known Rarity longer than any of us, AJ, so you know she wouldn’t let him get away with anything like that. For the other filly’s sake, too.”

“I know, I know, an’ it ain’t my place to say she can’t hang out with anypony but, uuuuugh, does it have to be him?!”

“Maybe you just need to get to know each other?” Twilight gambled, suddenly knowing what it was like to stand under a space shuttle engine during countdown, even though those didn’t exist on this particular Earth yet.

“I know all I wanna know!”

“Gosh, popping out when I did was probably an A1 sauce on the orient express idea,” Blueblood mused as the crowds thinned enough to let them step onto the Staircase Burrow platform. “Couple of cork popping lines but this is one of those very dialogue heavy scenes. Hope they have another cart chase when I get back. Maybe they’ll hit the school tour this time!”

“Remind me again why ya didn’t warn Rarity,” Applejack deadpanned as they exited and began climbing one of the cavern’s Escher like structures, which miners had retooled into safer, more domestic versions they’d named the neighbourhood after.

“I did!” Twilight protested, the indignation throwing her into the air and her wings kicking in. Remembering the Pegasus practice in undercity places like this was to stay in the air to free up floorspace for non-flyers, she flapped behind Applejack and tried to keep her voice down. “But you know what she’s like! There was just a lot of schoolgirl tittering and hints about taming, and I got all embarrassed and ran away before I could explain about all the racism! Besides, you were there. Nopony should have to be put through it, but the guy has to be experienced to be believed.”

“Yeah, pretty sure the only reason the family didn’t ‘accidentally’ loose him in the Everfree is it’d count as animal cruelty,” Applejack smirked.

They lapsed into post giggle fit silence after that.

It took a few stairs and walkways to make it to the city tier Aggregate’s workshop occupied. They looked at each other, then at the daylight streaming from the tunnel mouth a few steps above, the Mousehole Street entrance they’d fled from. The bustle of the city suggested order had been restored up top, but it was hard not to imagine a swarm of pink, hate filled eyes cascading back through the opening.

***

“You’re late,” the diamond dog said when she finally opened the door. Her Rajapalayamian accent made the gentle rebuke sound slightly lyrical.

“Late, old polystyrene bag? Moi? Late?!” Blueblood hammed. “How could I be late when this is the first of Celestia’s many days where we two common and/or garden plebeians have clapped spectacles on each other?!”

He thrust his chin left and right then gleefully pulled his shades and fedora off. “Aggrooooo!” he stage-whispered, mane and coat glistening in the tunnel lights and immediately drawing glances from passing ponies. “It’s meeeee!”

“I know, dear,” the jeweller said plainly but not unkindly. “I smelled you.” She put a paw on the prince’s head to shove it down so she could talk to the Elements. “He get hit in the head or something?”

“We’re tryin’ to prevent that if ya can believe it, ma’am.”

“I studied in the Magic Quarter before it was properly ventilated, dear, I can believe some pretty amazing things.”

Aggregate seemed pleasantly disposed, but adjusted the settings on her eyepieces to scrutinise first the girls then Blueblood, who she was still holding against the floor. “I said to come alone.”

“Them? Oh, they’re not really here,” Blueblood beamed. “It’s a play, you see!

“Consider us background extras,” Twilight sighed. “May we come in?”

“Certainly Princess, but wait out front, yes?” Aggregate swung the door wider, letting Blueblood up.

“Can we ask why?” Applejack tried as they trotted inside.

Most of the hammers and pliers she could see on wall mounted racks were for fine work, but she knew from Rarity that the craft sometimes used heavy duty metallurgist equipment. It’d feel pretty dumb to go through all that with the pumpkin heads then let Blueblood out of their sight, with someone who knew their way around a hammer.

“No,” Blueblood said with no trace of his oblivious joviality. “It’s private.”

The Elements looked at each other, trying to figure out how that was supposed to make them feel. Confused and a little disorientated was a given. That was the tone they’d used on Tony Spark the night before last.

“You girls like tea?” Aggregate asked as she waved Blueblood through a bead curtain in the back.

“Oh, sure!” Twilight smiled. “If it wouldn’t be any trouble.”

“Good, good, second cupboard on the right. Leave it on the stool.”

The jeweller waved a paw at another door, her back to them as she dropped to all fours and loped through the beads after the prince. Applejack swore she caught the flash of diamonds in the shadow that was Blueblood…which wasn’t much of a clue, why else would someone visit one of Canterlot’s greatest jewellers?

“Small space,” she chuckled to Twilight, “we’ll probably hear it if she tries to murder ‘im.”

“We’ll probably hold him down for her if she asks nicely,” Twilight smiled back ruefully.

“I heard that!” Aggregate yapped playfully from behind the still swaying beads.

“She got any of that Neighponese stuff?” Applejack asked as she filled the kettle in the kitchen cove.

“Ooh, yeah, but why would she waste it on riff raff like us and a jerk like Blueblood?” Twilight levitated the closest domestic brand out of the cupboard. “Should I get four cups? He didn’t accept any offer and the last thing I’m in the mood for is him spraying it all over her house because it offends his royal pallet.”

“Yeah, just us girls,” Applejack said vaguely, bending down to try and figure out the settings on Aggregate’s old school stove. She leaned back up as Twilight’s magic seeped into it and ignited the burner she’d placed the kettle on. “Feels like the first thing to go right today, other‘n Spike not bein’ here.”

“I wish everypony was here too, but they’re only an hour and a half away by train if anything goes wrong,” Twilight agreed. “And we’ll have at least one of the sisters back at the castle. Luna’s still in charge of the case, so she’ll be hooking up with Spike as soon as possible.”

“Y’know that’s not what I meant,” Applejack muttered, leaning against the doorframe. She and Rainbow Dash kept making overused stuff like that look so much cooler than it should that it was almost annoying.

“We wouldn’t have made it to the Gantry without Johnny’s flare,” Twilight pointed out. “Or realised we’re dealing with a Skrull.”

“He’s also sayin’ she’s about as dangerous as a seltzer bottle on a rainy day,” Applejack countered bitterly. “Which neither of us thinks is true. She’s been hammerin’ the city for weeks an’ Johnny Come Lately’s still pretendin’ to check out his pony pedi!”

“Yeah, that’s the other thing,” Twilight admitted. “Sending him to speak with the princesses might get him to drop whatever idea he’s gotten into his head. He either does or doesn’t know what this control thing is but he isn’t being straight with us, for whatever reason. I think he’s trying to protect us or something.”

“Like we rate even that,” Applejack snapped. “No, c’mon! You heard him on that radio. He’s been coastin’ this whole time an’ the only thing he’s put effort into is not sayin’ he thinks we’re Z-listers! ‘Cept he’s so full of it he thinks we don’t notice!”

“Does that really bother you?” Twilight asked carefully. “The idea of not measuring up to some sort of super standard?”

“No, but it’s clearly what he’s doin’! This Skrull lady ain’t a big deal ‘cause he’s seen bigger ‘n’ badder! Well so’ve we, an’ we made it out alive, but that doesn’t mean we can just breeze through everythin’ else! An’ he’s actin’ like we’re the dead weight when we’ve had to lead him ‘round by the hoof this whole time, ‘cause he can’t be bothered to remember how the capital’s streets work?! An’ that’s the time we didn’t spend runnin’! An’ oh boy, now he’s got a lil’ ol’ secret, ‘cause he knows so much better than us!”

A series of loud thumps from Aggregate’s back room froze them both up for a beat, the churning sound of the kettle at work rushing in to fill the silence and smothering the instinct to say anything else.

Applejack sighed and removed her hat, running a hoof down her hair to the ribbon. “I just found out Equestria could be full of sleeper cells of lil’ green ponies, Twilight. An’ the Horseshoe Torch thinks playin’ chicken with one of ‘em’s more important than what the rest might be up to.”

She shook her head. “Listen to me! Sleeper cells? Like somethin’ outta Dad’s paperback collection. Please tell me this is gettin’ to you too.”

“Of course,” Twilight assured, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “But I trust the princess. You know if these people were that dangerous to Equestria she’d be doing everything to drive them out, disguises or no! And yeah, Johnnycake could take this more seriously, but I think the bigger thing is he’s making plans behind our backs. Would he do that if he was blowing this woman off?”

“Pretendin’ to, or whatever he’s doin’ ain’t better!” Applejack shut her eyes after the snap, then deflated, putting her hat back on as if hoping it’d swallow her whole. “An’ I’m freakin’ out. I’m lettin’ you an’ Spike down and that’s even worse.”

“You told Johnny you were having the normal reaction,” Twilight pointed out. “Which is the other reason I went with you instead of him.”

Applejack peeked from under the brim.

“I was Princess Celestia’s faithful student.” Twilight shrugged. “I grew up learning how to push the limits of what a Unicorn should do. I have a love ley line in my living room and my boyfriend is a superhero. Trixie shook me as much as she did because I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in magic and not realise you’ve gone over the edge. That’s why I still trust Johnny, even though what you said is as true as anything he did. Skrulls are just that much a part of his world as legends and Harmony are of ours. And I need you here because somepony honest enough to admit, yeah, this is really freaking weird is the most vital person you can have in that world! You’re worried you’re letting us down? Do you know how much we all love that we can lean on you for this stuff?!”

Cue tearful, silent hug. Abruptly undermined by the whir of a power drill from Aggregate’s workshop.

“Besides,” Twilight managed through the mutual giggle fit, “if a himbo like him can take them, how hard can they be?”

“Can’t be as much of a pain in the tail as those darn tour ponies!” Applejack guffawed.

Twilight felt her freeze up suddenly, breaking the hug to make sure the workhorse was okay, and she hadn’t accidentally done some weird Alicorn soul stealing spell or something.

“Holy horse apples,” Applejack whispered, trance like, then practically yelled at the exact moment the kettle finally chose to boil, “That might be it!”

“What?”

“Stay with Prince Prune Juice!” Applejack called, galloping for the door. “I’m hittin’ the streets! Don’t wait for me, soon as he’s done here get him to the castle!”

“AJ!” Twilight exclaimed, dancing desperately in the hallway with levitated cups and tea bags. “But, but, but! Mission! Aliens! Tea?!”

“No time, you’re the most powerful with hero boy gone!” Applejack whipped out the open doorway then skidded back, almost colliding with the frame. “Look, could be nothin’, but that protest was just happenin’, yeah?”

“I guess…?”

“But to get in there Skrull lady would have to blend in, right? An’ they can copy anypony’s appearance?”

“…so she’d have to replace the leader of that protest,” Twilight realised, eyes widening. “If she’s still alive we could have a witness who saw the Skrull’s last disguise!”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m headin’ for the Greymalkin tourist place!” Applejack agreed, nodding like repeating ammo being fired out it’s chamber. “But think bigger! Blueblood could be anywhere in Canterlot! None of the victims had anythin’ in common…”

“Except who mesmerised them?” Twilight tried. “No, wait, who’s stalking him!”

“Right!” Applejack was pawing the ground, confused pedestrians quickly leaning against the Burrow’s safety rails as she aimed herself at the topside entrance back to the plaza. “An’ if ya wanna follow somepony who gets everywhere what better job to get than a pony who’s supposed to be everywhere?”

22

“At least he’s breathing,” Rainbow Dash said for the third time since they’d tucked him in.

“If you can call it that,” Rarity muttered, because the uselessness of that observation was getting on her nerves.

“We broke Twilight’s boyfriend,” Fluttershy said for the umpteenth time since the fire, but still too quietly to be noticed.

“Not even sunset yet,” Rarity mused, peering out the curtains at the late afternoon/early evening sky. “At least the paint should’ve dried by now.”

“And Vinyl Scratch’s old player is a perfect match for Twilight’s,” Dash agreed. “Do I wanna know why you’ve paint the exact colour of Twilight’s living room?”

“We’re magicians, darling, it pays to be prepared.”

“Fair enough.” Dash leaned over Peter’s face. “Oh cool, I think he’s coming to. Hey, bud! How, uh, how’s it goin’?”

“Better than usual, actually,” Peter burbled. “The new job, the new place, Twilight still feels nice and new even though we’re both finding our groove together. On the other hoof, it’s almost a relief to have all this F.E.A.S.T. and Bugle drama going on because I was starting to worry I’d accidentally fallen through a portal and stolen a way better Peter Trotter’s life. My tongue tastes funny!”

“Aww sweet, he’s still blitzed!” Dash crowed.

“Magnifique!” Rarity levitated over a stool, rubbing her hooves together. “They do say the best medicine for a pony who’s just recovered consciousness is getting them to speak at length about their juicy, juicy secrets.”

“Who’s they?” Pinkie asked, poking her head through the door.

“Us,” Dash and Rarity said instantly.

“Alrighty,” Pinkie quavered, tossed into high school clique little sister mode by their certainty. “Dinner’ll be ready in about an hour.”

“Testing, testing, one, two, three!” Dash languidly clambered into the windowsill by the bed. “So you were a wrestler for like five minutes. Ever tangle with anyone worthwhile?”

“Nah, we were pretty down market, but I punched out Catchweight in a Mason Square restroom once!” Peter’s squiggly expression became a wobbly kind of grim as he gripped the sheets with evil mastermind letter opener determination. “He knows what he did.”

“What did he do?!” Rarity whispered with delight, flying too high on scandal to remember that she did in fact know who Catchweight was from her father.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Peter cheerfully addressed the bedside lamp. “But he did and that’s the important thing.”

“…maybe we broke him,” Dash said eventually.

“Do any of us know anypony in Madripoor?” Fluttershy asked. “No? Just checking.”

“Don’t think so but can’t hurt to check.” Rarity illuminated her horn and waved it over the patient’s crossed eyes. “Peter darling! Yoo-hoo! Do you know where you are?”

“It smells like Twilight! That’s good enough for me!” The response had a sing song quality.

“That’s at least the kind of too much honesty we were hoping for,” Rarity beamed. “Let me see now…ah! What’s your most embarrassing encounter with a celebrity?”

“I punched out Mother Neighresia in a Mason Square restroom once!”

“WHAT?” all four Elements squawked, Pinkie sprouting into the space between Rarity and Fluttershy.

“No, wait, I always get those two mixed up.” Peter’s eyes blinked and twitched like warring radio signals. “Mother Neighresia was during that one spring break. I thought she was the Chameleon in disguise!”

“Holy cow,” Dash whispered.

“It haunts me. Got what I deserved though! Mare had a mean right hook.”

Dash crashed to the floor, almost fetal from laughter. “Can’t…breathe…!”

“So other than assaulting national treasures, what else ya got?” Pinkie asked, too peppy to realise her curiosity was morbid.

“I was on Saturday Night Live once!” Peter chirruped and then burst into sobs. Fluttershy instinctively flew to his side to wrap his head in her hooves and coo and shush in an attempt to drown out her own sympathetic tears. “Don’t make me go back!”

“Nopony’s going to make you do anything, darling,” Rarity assured hurriedly. She looked at Pinkie who’d frozen up then at Dash who was still on the floor making Forget-It face and settled for levitating Smarty Pants, who Twilight had left on the bedside as a good luck totem, making one of her felt legs pat Peter’s thrashing knee. “There, there. Many ponies have gone on to live rich, full lives regardless!”

“Do you need anything?” Fluttershy asked, stroking Peter’s mane.

“An entire child’s birthday cake.” The thrashing had frozen, one leg inches from going up Rarity’s nose as Peter cooed with terrible drunken certainty.

“Don’t move,” Rarity said firmly as a SWAT leader as Pinkie’s fringe began to swing towards the door. “Fluttershy means do you need any comforts or medicine?”

“An entire child’s birthday cake,” Peter repeated.

“You’ll have Pinkie-Pasta like everypony else and you’ll like it,” Dash confirmed, wing-springing to her hooves. A leer spread across her face. “You want flies with that?”

“Just extra bolognese, please! With enough onions and some black pepper it’s basically the same.”

The Elements looked askance at each other. Fluttershy carefully let go of Peter’s head.

“Um…garlic bread?” Pinkie asked.

Peter looked around in cross-eyed panic. “Where?!”

“Regular, got it!” Pinkie scuttled out of the crime scene as fast as she could without putting herself through the trunk.

“Any wine?” Rarity asked, compelled by universal timing.

“I prefer to think of it as taking stock but I know that’s just lying to myself.”

“Have you thought about meditation at all?” Fluttershy quavered. Perhaps she could accidentally get locked in the cottage while looking for her mat.

“Cola, then,” Dash said firmly, taking command. “Is it true you had a derby kart that could drive up walls?”

“Yeah, though I’ve often tried to subconsciously block out the experience in self-defence.” Peter was trying to get up. “I blame society!”

Dash squinted. “…for your lame derby kart?”

“No, just in general! Can’t be responsible for everything! Makes you wonder why I try!” Despite Rarity’s best efforts (not to actually touch him) Peter managed to perform a lopsided cartwheel out of bed. “I feel guilty now! I should go to Sweet Apple Acres and use my freakish spider-strength to do all their work for them!”

“Or we could not all get arrested,” Rarity trilled, telekinetically dangling one of her spare sapphires in front of him to get his pinwheeling attention. “You know what’s good for a guilty conscience?”

“Risking my neck to save shiftless strangers who somehow don’t know it’s a bad idea to walk through Celestial Park at night?”

“Telling Auntie Rarity all about your foalhood!” Rarity beamed, trying to herd him back into bed.

“Are we sure it’s not still going on?” Peter followed the sapphire just long enough to swerve off course as if the puppeteer had been yanked off stage, almost headbutting Dash.

“Touché, but think of all the adorable hints I’ll be able to work into conversation. A key part of our dynamic is Does-She-or-Doesn’t-She!”

“Since when?” Dash scoffed, flapping her wings to try and force Peter back on track.

“Since somepony came through my window babbling about how the world was ending because Twilight had a boyfriend.”

“And she had a boyfriend,” Dash clarified, taking Peter’s tail to the face. “Blegh! I said the world was ending and by the way she had a boyfriend.”

“And we shouldn’t examine that association, should we?”

“The world was ending! I figured if we didn’t make it there wasn’t gonna be a better time to get ya in the loop!”

“Awww!” Rarity placed a genuine hoof over her heart and if it had been anypony other than Rainbow Dash, they’d have found that worse than sarcasm.

“Friendly Neighbourhood Element of Loyalty, that’s me.” Dash swatted at Peter’s tail, managing to grab his shoulders to stop him from following it anymore. “Where are you goin’?!”

“Do any of us really know?” Peter asked sadly.

“Maybe we should get Zecora,” Fluttershy suggested, wondering why she hadn’t thought of that potential escape tactic until now.

“Where in the library,” Dash enunciated.

“I don’t know but it smells delicious!”

“Thanks!” Pinkie called from downstairs.

“And while I enjoy tripped out ponies and lit flames as much as the next mare, I think we’ve tempted fate enough as it is for today, dear,” Rarity smiled, telekinetically spinning him back towards the bed by his tail.

Dash raised an eyebrow. “Giving up already?”

“Darling please, what am I, a monk?” Rarity gestured Fluttershy to one end of the sheets while she grabbed another, trying to hoist them around Peter.

“Dr. Gloam was a monk for a while,” Peter grinned at the ceiling, “and look what happened to him!”

“Hmph! I’ll have you know with enough gold thread I could make even that mile long sacramento monstrosity look chic,” Rarity huffed. “Oooh! Idea! Peter, sweetie, opal web patterned livery on a vermilion base. What do we think?”

“Who’s we?” One of Peter’s ears was flicking back and forth like a desperate satellite dish.

“Perhaps as a spiffy sort of jacket.” Rarity nodded to herself, lost in creation. “Like a softer version of a guard’s whatsit…”

“Curiass,” Dash said automatically.

“Or like Shining’s dress uniform! Oh, think of the family photos you could take! What a shame you couldn’t pattern yourself after something timeless like a cat, even the best variations on the creepy crawly theme feel like upscale Nightmare Night outfits.” Rarity’s eyes flashed as a bolt of mischief cut through the swirling mists of inspiration. “But enough about you! Let’s talk about what you think of Shining Armor.”

“Dessert before dinner!” Dash hooted, pounding the rail of Peter’s bed. “Love it!”

Peter shrugged. “We get along surprisingly well, considering he used to beat me up in high school.”

Silence so dead they could hear the hiss of Pinkie’s cooking and the random ditty she was hum-composing.

“Beg pardon?” Rarity managed eventually.

“No, it’s okay, I deserved it!” Peter brightly assured a bedside photo of Princess Celestia. “I was going through a Ninja Turtles is Serious phase. That’s what was worrying me when Twilight first introduced us, way more than discovering the vigilantism. That he’d recognise me. He hasn’t so far, though! Kept waiting to see if he would, but nope and now I’m waaaay past the point I can naturally bring this up. If somepony tells him someday then every second ticking by right now is two plus years longer I’ll look like I’ve been hiding it. This weighs on me so much that sometimes I gotta wonder if he did recognise me and this is how he’s punishing me. And then I feel guilty for making Twilight and her brother’s existence all about me! Almost glad Luna hasn’t show up in my nightmares so far because whoo boy, can you imagine trying to unpin that hoof-grenade? I fought a guy named Hoof-Grenade once! His real name was Tiddlywinks.”

“Is any of this going where you thought it would?” Dash grinned at Rarity.

“No, that’s the beauty of it!”

“I was going to save all the little critters,” the ball that had been Fluttershy whispered beneath the wings wrapped around her head.

“And then there was that whole Lashveria thing!” Peter sat bolt upright and then toppled smile-first onto his front.

“Lashveria what now?” Dash zipped to his side, turning his head so she and the second Rarity like head she’d sprouted over her shoulder could feast upon delicious secrets and, as a bonus, the guy could breathe.

“Dr. Gloam’s kingdom?” Fluttershy asked.

“The one with all the quaint little cottages? The big castle? Keeps denying that time he tried to dissect us to find out how the Elements work?” Rarity asked. “Grey green sky? Rains almost all the time? That Lashvaria?”

“How many Lashvaria’s do you know?” Dash scowled. “Hush up!”

“♫I’m not supposed to remember!♫” Peter sing-songed in time with which direction his eyes were facing.

“Remember,” the Rainbow-Rarity hydra hissed hungrily.

“We hit the perimeter wall at midnight,” Peter began. “Just the five of us, well, really Shining and the four he’d picked for Alpha team. Cap, Iron Mage, Timberwolf and, for some reason, me. I think he wanted either ponies he could rely on, or ponies that couldn’t be predicted. He treated us like his most trusted troops, laying down force-fields for us as we took the slope. He needn’t have bothered. Then again, he was the only one who cared about the threat. Celestia wanted to prevent a war. So did Shining Armor. So he brought it to the enemy. Nopony was supposed to know we were there. Not even us. As the castle and Von Bardis went down in flames, he turned his face to the rising sun and told us to--”

“♪EAAAT THIIIIS!♪” Pinkie Pie sopranoed, bouncing through the door seconds ahead of the beeping oven timer downstairs and with a steaming plate balanced on her head.

“Loud,” Fluttershy squeaked.

“WHAT? OH!” Pinkie balanced one end of the plate with a hoof and slapped at her ear with another, trying to dislodge something without spilling Spaghetti alla Pinkuttanesca all over Twilight’s floor. “Sorry, there was an accident with the olives. Got Peter’s ready first because, well…”

They all turned back to the patient, who was on his back now and making robot motions with his forelegs, whispering, “Thwip, thwip!”

“Aww man,” Dash pouted. “Just as it was getting good!”

“I said about an hour,” Pinkie reminded her, skipping happily to the bed.

“All is forgiven,” Dash dreamily decided as the scent trail crept into her nose and almost lifted her off the ground.

“Here ya go, Petey.” Pinkie slid it into his lap as Rarity helped him sit up. “Careful, it’s hot.”

“My hind legs may be too nerve damaged to notice!” Peter leaned over and hugged her suddenly. “Thanks, Pinkie!”

“How sweet,” Rarity chuckled, levitating a straw into the cola cup Pinkie had carried up with her tail.

“Sure that’s not for the food?” Rainbow smirked, indicating the straw. “Dude’s still pretty out of it.”

Rarity raised a brow. “Are you volunteering to stay behind and feed him?”

“Hay no.” Dash stretched, popping her neck then squinting as she made for the door. “Is he talking to you…?”

“Define talking,” Pinkie giggled.

“And then Goose turns to Maverick and says you can be my wingpony any time!” Peter burbled as she gently pushed him back against the pillow.

“At least you’ve got good taste in movies.” Dash shook her head. “Fine, dinner break, but to be continued!”

“The things a mare has to do for a little international intrigue,” Rarity huffed following her out of the room. She tapped Dash on the shoulder as Pinkie whispered something in Fluttershy’s ear. “What are you two up to?”

“Oh! We thought perhaps Peter…might, um. Might like to…” The Pegasus looked askance at the party pony who was looking into Rarity’s steely eyes.

“Enjoy his dinner in peace…?” Pinkie ventured, pitch rising with her tremulous smile.

“What a fine idea!” Rarity beamed, pointedly standing aside to allow them to pass through the space and into her clutches company. “Can’t have the two of you trying to tinker with him while he’s in such a delicate state! You’ll spoil the fun.”

“This is the life, huh?” Dash joined in, wrapping two strong forelegs around the two possible dissenters to make sure they couldn’t escape, not that they’d dare with Rarity on the steps behind them. “Good food, good company, and oh so many good stories!”

To be Continued

Author's Note:

And we're back, skipped the two parter but loved the last episode, might tinker with this later when the last bunch of scenes is written, going to sleep now.

GLOSSARY

Comments

[Crack-Fic Casey]

“Happy as a pig in imported mud,” Rarity smirked back. “If he hadn’t just implied I’m this close to running off with the town treasury I’d thank him for his candour!”

He also implied you were old, as long as we're helping.

“He’s a superhero who actually enjoys his work! Well, most of the time. I assume. He has his act together, that much is obvious. Seriously, do you know how much of the planet is covered in water? How far down all those trenches go? We haven’t even catalogued all the species in the Great Farrier Reef alone! And he’s in charge of all of that?! ”

We need more Dashing Explorer Aquaman. Though seeing as Atlantis is the only city in the seven seas, he's less King and more Fancy Mayor.

Also, I'm not sure what Iohnny's doing but I'm positive that it's a bad idea.

[TheManehattanite]

9881101
It is a terrible idea.