Super Pony Roomies

by TheManehattanite

Slight Learning Sensation (4)

12

Last night I talked to the Sentinel of Fairness herself an’ drank mead from the realm of the Valkyries, Applejack mused, portal light dancing across her face. Now, I’m doin’ whatever this is. Where was all this when Mac was the big colt on campus, huh?

She was hovering by the portal’s edge, waiting with Rainbow Dash for Twilight to levitate her boyfriend’s bed through the hole carved in space between his bedroom and her living room.

“But Twilight, my responsibility!” Peter whined, gripping the headboard with the foreleg that wasn’t in a sling.

“Is to stay right here where I can keep an eye on you!” Twilight’s eyes were glowing purple as she rose smiling out of the swirling radiance. You got used to it. “I mean, look after you!”

“Have I mentioned my accelerated healing yet?”

“Yep! Not accelerating enough as far as I’m concerned!”

“Accelerated healing.”

Peter tried to turn to get Dash into view as she took the weight of the back while AJ managed the foot. “What?”

“How is that whatever a spider can?”

“Proportionate strength and speed mean I’ve gotta have equalised systems to handle them, so…” Peter tried to shrug and clenched his teeth at silent klaxons blaring up and down his legs.

“So ya reckon you can go galivantin’ around on the roofs like a jackrabbit after four courses of jumpin’ beans ’cause if you rip your stitches, what, you’ll only be back to square two ‘n‘ a half instead of one?” Applejack asked wryly. “Land sakes, Pete!”

“What she said,” Johnny grunted by Peter’s right ear, positioned next to Dash. Which just made this whole climbing stairs manoeuvre even more precarious to him. Then again if they did get into a shouting match and drop him at least he’d run them over instantly…

“Besides, if it’s so great you won’t have to stay long,” Twilight trilled, magically rearranging every item of furniture in the guest room. “Until then, you’ll be nice and cosy in here and not doing something foolish like, oh I don’t know, trying to catch falling helicopters with only one working foreleg.”

“Honey, I appreciate it but the city--”

“Will be fine, right gentlemen?”

“We’ll cope, Ms. Twilight,” Deerdevil grunted as he helped Applejack turn the foot of the bed sideways so they could start gently lowering it. “I’ve been meaning to give Iron Hoof a, uh, hoof with these Inner Demons anyway.”

“But Aunt May--”

“Told us to make sure you didn’t try anything dumb like going after Poison Pony. Well, she didn’t use the word dumb but seriously, it’d be dumb.” Johnny peered around the headboard to see what was holding AJ and DD up. “Uh, there’s already a bed in here…?”

“Not anymore!” Twilight beamed, nostrils flaring like a wave of anti-matter consuming a helpless universe and banishing the bed in a blast of purple.

***

Miles away, Big Mac looked up from the instructions he wasn’t sure weren’t upside down to see a perfectly fine bed had materialised over the mess he’d made of that Gotland kit, shrugged, and tossed the manual out the window.

***

Peter petulantly folded his forelegs as he finally came to rest. “You guys wouldn’t let this stop you!”

“Maybe, but nopony dumped a buttload of abstract art on us.” Dash wiped her brow.

“They were pianos,” Peter said before he could stop himself.

Deerdevil winced as Dash collapsed to the floor, pounding it with laughter. He raised a brow as he sensed Johnny’s biorhythms reacting to the sound. Almost like he’d missed it.

“Maybe I should ward the doors and windows,” Twilight murmured to herself, “make sure you don’t try and trot back to the city…”

“I’m fine!” Peter protested, then doubled over gagging. They all stared at his lap. The three piano keys sitting in it. “…alright, alright!”

He flopped back on the pillow, sighing.

“I’d still keep an eye on him, Princess,” Deerdevil smiled, putting a hoof on her shoulder. Peter’s eyes narrowed as Matt turned to smirk at him. “But don’t worry, I’ll put the word out. Recently upgraded the grapnels in my clubs, so I can drag him back here myself if that’s what it’ll take.”

“Oh, thank you Mr…Devil! That’s very considerate.”

“Hey everypony,” Peter said coldly, “guess what: my lawyer is Deerdevil.”

“Stone cold.” Johnny leaned fondly against the headboard. “I’m almost proud!”

“Mr. Maplewood?!” Twilight boggled as the Guardian Devil’s eyes seemed to glow even redder. “But, but, but…but you had that shirt!”

“What’d I tell ya?!” Applejack glared around the room. “Didn’t I say? Ya can’t trust those things!”

Rainbow’s face scrunched with insatiable curiosity and unaccustomed tact. “Uh, no offence man, but aren’t you…y’know…?”

“Magic tree sap in the eyes when I was a kid.” Deerdevil gestured to the living room floor. “Would you mind, Princess?”

“Hmm? Oh, certainly!” Twilight’s horn flashed, opening the portal. “I can’t think of any way to say this politely that won’t sound worse than the actual question, so…could I scan your brain? Sometime?”

“At least you’re honest,” Deerdevil chuckled. “Hello Ms. Belle, how long were you listening?”

“Depends on what I wasn’t supposed to hear.”

Twilight’s head snapped to the staircase the same instant Johnny half lunged out of the doorway. Rarity had recovered from the shock of being (somehow) spotted and was lounging cat-like on the landing.

“Hey, been looking for you!” Johnny announced, pointedly dropping next to her. “Since my poor, poor roommate was so cruelly struck down by fate, I consider it my duty to swing by as much as possible. But! We must give Twilight space to administer to her patient, so perhaps you could squire me about town for a change?”

“Show you where all the unattached fillies hang out, you mean,” Rarity chuckled.

“Uuuuh…” Johnny’s brain sparked as the twin realities of No and Absolutely accidentally initiated at once and crashed his operating system.

“It’ll keep you out of trouble if I take this trip I’m planning.” Rarity’s eyes sparkled in the portal light. “You see, what with my brand expanding I’ve been wondering if I shouldn’t seek out more…experienced legal counsel. You wouldn’t happen to know anyone, Devil Dear?”

“You’re the resourceful sort, I’m sure you’ll find the right firm for you.” That crooked smile. “Gotta admit though, I’m really only waiting on your friends so I can make a dramatic exit.”

Rarity blinked. “Beg pardon?”

The door swung open.

“Hey, sorry we’re late! Had to convince Nurse Redheart you weren’t self-medicating again, but we got Peter’s…stuff…” Spike finally managed to peer over his bags. “Oh wow!”

Fluttershy flapped in carrying some of her mother’s famous Hepius Hurricane soup, took one look at Twilight standing by a hole in reality, backlighting a Deer wearing the Devil’s skin, and screamed. Johnny smirked as Matt clapped his hooves to his ears.

“’Shy, it’s okay, it’s okay!” Pinkie somersaulted over the Pegasus to land in front of her, carrying her (prop comedy) medical bag. “He’s one of the good guys! Mr. Red! The one I told you about!”

“Oh! You must be one of Trotter and Johnnycake’s friends!” Fluttershy blushed. “Um. Sorry. I hope I didn’t startle you.”

“Likewise,” Deerdevil grunted.

“Heya Mr. Red!” Pinkie bounced up. “How’s tricks ‘n‘ sticks?”

“Good, Pinkie Pie,” Deerdevil smiled, holding out a foreleg strong enough to bounce a billy club off multiple opponents’ skulls from five yards away to accept Pinkie’s rapid shaking. “Was hoping to catch you before I left. The Gladia...Melvin says hi.”

“Aww, that’s cool!” Pinkie smiled, then darted her eyes side to side, leaning in conspiratorially. “Is he taking his…custom party mix?”

“Every day. Can I count on you to make sure our other mutual friend takes his?”

Pinkie’s eyes blink-blink-blinked.

“He means Peter’s medicine, darling,” Rarity said as she cocked her head slightly to get a better view of the Deer without Fear. Spike and Johnny fumed over which specific part.

“Oh. Well if ya mean laughter, the greatest medicine of all, then absolutely-positootly!” Pinkie popped her bag open, oblivious to the fact Matt already had an idea of the contents. “Gonna make him pop a stitch, as we say on the ICU circuit.”

“That’s a bad thing, Pinkie,” Twilight said sternly. “And I’m sure Ma—agh! My, uh, guest has a busy day in Hobbs Garden ahead, so we shouldn’t keep him. Actually, would you like me to alter the ley line so it drops you a little closer to home? It wouldn’t be any trouble.”

“Very kind of you but I’d honestly enjoy the exercise,” Deerdevil smiled and nodded. “Besides, I believe I promised a dramatic exit. What’s a devil if he doesn’t keep his bargains?”

“Oh brother,” Johnny muttered under his breath, loud enough for Matt and Rarity to hear. He caught Rainbow Dash smirking up at him and hurriedly glared at the wall.

Matt took a few seconds warming up as payback, showing off those muscular forelegs to a rapt Rarity before launching himself into a Cirque du Soleil worthy aerial display he should not have been able to pull off in a crowded, two floor library. He winked at her upside down as he vanished into the portal.

***

“Thought he’d never leave!” Johnny smiled, clapping and rubbing his hooves together.

“He’s technically still in your apartment,” Dash said, pointing curtly over her shoulder. “Y’know, like you should be?”

“Without my dearest, closest friend in the business?!” Johnny placed a hoof over his 4 logo in ‘shock’. “Would it even be a hovel then? It certainly wouldn’t be a home! How could I live with myself and a fully stocked fridge knowing there was nopony here to make sure his soup was warm?!”

“Hi,” Spike deadpanned, waving, “dragon.”

He coughed suddenly, instinctively throwing his hand up so the tongue of flame could drop a scroll right into it.

“What was that?” Peter called from the guest room.

“Johnny farted!” Dash called back. Applejack and Rarity tried not laugh at the Torch’s expression.

“Just a second, dear!” Twilight looked nervously over Spike’s shoulder. “Is the princess in trouble? Has Luna had another Canterlot Voice accident? It’s not that I don’t want to help, it’s just Peter’s sick and I’m not sure anything shy of Lavan being real and using Mount Destiny to cover us in a thousand years of ash could get me out there.”

“I’m not sick!” Peter protested, limping onto the landing. “Okay, I’m banged up but I’m not s…I’m not si–s-s-s-sii-CHOO!”

Fluttershy dived behind Pinkie, who managed to catch her Tupperware in her open medical bag, as another piano key ricocheted off a horse head bust behind her, sliding across the floor to Twilight’s hooves.

She looked up at Peter dispassionately. He sighed and sat down heavily, startling everypony with the sound his butt made.

“What’s the hubbub, Spike?” Applejack asked quickly.

“Uh…everypony might wanna take turns reading this.” Spike passed it to Twilight, a wary eye on Rarity. “I’m…not sure it’ll sound believable if I read it out loud.”

13

To my faithf

To Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Apologies if this letter seems more hurried than most. I don’t know if you’ve all been keeping up with news in Canterlot but it’s been hectic lately. Thank goodness my mane moves so much or I’m sure it would be in a right state. Do ponies still say that? Irrelevant, forgive me for allowing my mind and quill to wander so much. Goodness, I haven’t even told you anything important yet.

You may remember our nephew, Prince Blueblood. I understand your history with him was, sadly like many other ponies, far from a personal highlight for you. I’m sure you’ve at least once asked yourself why I do not keep a stricter eye on him. Certainly, I couldn’t apologise enough to poor Rarity for that night.

I do not wish to alarm anypony, but recent events have meant placing the prince under surveillance is more of a priority now than ever before.

I understand Rarity was there for the night of an attack on Blueblood’s person during a performance of Pegasi of Paradise. I thought I recognised her lines in the press kit! Bah, wandering again. As I have learned from our dearest sister Luna, he has been the target of several more in the past weeks alone.

‘Target’ is perhaps the best choice of words, as the last attackers were a band of skilled mercenaries. But what worries me is that this is a break in a pattern that seemingly HAS no pattern. The ponies before this were, like Board Treader,you know, the fellow from Neighs of Our Lives an actor in the play, seemingly just in the vicinity.

Luna’s findings confirm a powerful enchantment affects the minds of these ponies, compelling them to attack Blueblood on sight. And the consistency of the acts seems to suggest this mastermind is stalking him, selecting unfortunate citizens to become their pawns.

The last three were skilled enough to battle Captain Evening Rose. If Luna and I had not been on hoof several citizens could have been injured or worse. And I would have lost my nephew.

My first instinct would be to take charge of this myself, or to pass it onto your brother, but I have my duties and he has his, especially with the recent Lashverian involvement in the weather crisis facing the Crystal Empire. I would even consider sending Blueblood far away for his own safety if his adversary didn’t seem determined enough to hunt him across the most guarded city in the kingdom.

I don’t know wh

Despite the danger, I hope you shall not find it amiss if I charge ask you all for whatever help you can give. To help my family one more time. And, given the increasing severity of these attacks, perhaps Canterlot itself.

Please respond as soon as possible. Again, please forgive the state of this letter. It has been a trying day and I fear there may be even more ahead.

Yours,

Princess Celestia

14

“Pianos,” Celestia said.

“Yes,” Twilight grinned, worrying equally that she seemed happy about it and that her hasty spell hadn’t been the best substitute for actually cleaning her teeth. “Um.”

“A lot of pianos,” Spike clarified gravely.

“But it’s bein’…handled, your highness,” Applejack added, hoping she wasn’t lying. “An’ we’re all here for ya 110%!”

“And I appreciate that,” Celestia said with a nod of relief, “especially given Peter Trotter’s, uh…situation. Are you sure you’re alright being here, Twilight? If it was Lily I wouldn’t leave the house unless Arbarus was trying to drown us in a thousand years of rain and thunder or something.”

“No, it’s…well, it’s not alright Princess, but he told me to do what I do best, so…” Twilight shrugged haplessly but smiled. She blinked. “Lily?”

“Somepony from before your time.” Celestia closed her eyes, still smiling. Well, the eye that wasn’t covered by her slightly repositioned mane. “I’m glad you’re all here nonetheless, although I must admit I was expecting a more Elemental response?”

“The rest of the Fam’s off making sure Klaw and the Mole Maestro don’t get eaten by the extradimensional horrors they’re trying to bring to this plane, so I needed something to do,” the hovering Horseshoe Torch breezed, flexing. “And besides, Princess, can you really get more elemental than good old fashioned cosmic ray fire?”

Spike and Applejack shared glances. Rainbow Dash would’ve made almost the exact same brag and flexed the exact same foreleg, but at least they’d know they could absolutely count on her. And she wasn’t on fire.

“I’m glad to know national security ranks so highly on your list of priorities, Johnnycake,” Celestia smiled wryly. “Extradimensional horrors, you say?”

“It’s just the Mole Maestro, your highness!” The Torch shrugged. “And Klaw, so, y’know, the Panther swapped in for me almost instantly.”

“Mmm, I may send somepony to the embassy to request a report, then.”

“I know Johnny is literally a lot more firepower than we usually employ,” Twilight said quickly, “but, well, he was there and this enemy has upgraded to ponies a lot more dangerous than a butler!”

“It is Canterlot…” Spike pointed out.

“But since somepony had to look after Peter anyway,” Twilight continued pointedly over him, “Applejack and I thought it would be a good idea to split up. Everypony back home can look after Peter and Ponyville, while the four of us can try and investigate the threat and counter it as a less high profile unit.”

“Fightin’ fire with fire.” Applejack glanced at the Torch. “That’s what you were gonna say, right?”

The Torch’s smirking lips glowed. “You’re good.”

“And the rest of your friends are more high profile than yourself, your dragon assistant, and members of two of the most historic families in Equestria?” Celestia smiled, though without any malice.

“Compared to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash?” Spike countered.

“Spike!” Twilight chided then blushed and grinned. “But yeah, what he said.”

“I dunno about historic, though I’ll take the compliment on behalf of my family ma’am,” Applejack said as she tipped her hat, also blushing, “but I do know Fluttershy’s the best pony you could have lookin’ after one coughin’ up piano keys, an’ when Rarity read about what’s goin’ on with your nephew she laughed for ten straight minutes.”

“The one that makes her sound kinda like a happy Nightmare Moon,” Spike sighed dreamily.

Johnny blinked his glowing eyes in realisation. “Oh wow. It totally does…”

Applejack squinted. “How would ya know what she sounded like?”

“Got stuck in an alternate universe where she took over and got whammied by Madcap. See? I’m the perfect point pony!”

“It’s Twi’s show, hot shot.” Applejack’s Thing solid body language brooked no argument.

“Totally,” Johnny agreed, drifting over to the Element of Magic, “as in point me at the bad guys chief, I’ll totally blow ‘em away!”

“Ooh, you have thermal draft powers?” Twilight looked him over as if appraising a new, floating lawnmower. “Those could come in handy if I can’t block any projectiles!”

“I have more talents than one mark should have to bear,” Johnny said, nodding his blazing head sombrely.

A beat as the mares and the dragon realised, no, he’d meant it.

“You could always rustle up the Befrienders?” Applejack grinned weakly.

“Perhaps a few weeks ago, but I’m not sure that would be advisable given their current troubles,” Celestia sighed. “But I think I begin to see you girls’ logic. The Befrienders, though noble, are more power than the situation currently requires, and your group is not only diverse but can move and coordinate faster.”

“Right,” Twilight agreed. “Spike and I can easily insinuate into Blueblood’s royal(ish) circles, Johnnycake claims to have similar contacts all over the city, and that leaves Applejack free to do what she does best and uncover the truth!”

“I’m no Shamrock Runes, but I’ll do my best,” Applejack agreed.

Johnny raised a blazing eyebrow. "Claims?"

Twilight shrugged. “Well, you almost got lost on the way here, and you didn’t stop anypony to ask for directions.”

“Almost got lost at street level,” Johnny clarified. “I’m used to a Pegasi-eye view of the capital!”

“Oh yeah, that’s gonna be a real help.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Either we stick that low dow—ah, Blueblood with a trail of fire leadin’ right to him or a bodyguard who can’t tell Aqua Fortis Avenue’s elbow from the Cauldron’s tail!”

“Park Basin, thank you, Applejack.” Celestia frowned slightly at the inadvertent mention of one of her local personal embarrassments. “And Johnnycake can be easily furnished with a map if need be. I appreciate your help too, given I recently learned a few of Blueblood’s acquisitions came from dubious use of your family’s lease. This is surprisingly generous of you.”

Johnny shrugged. “Eh, I’ve been hanging out with the Element herself a lot lately.”

“Yeah,” Spike muttered, “a lot.” Only Applejack noticed.

“Besides,” Johnny continued gravely, ”if anything happens to old Blue in the a—butt…ons, then the societal needle for what constitutes a jerk will have to shift. Can’t take the chance it lands on somepony like me!”

“Mmm, the Bro Code I believe is the term.” Celestia smiled drolly, sending a silent shockwave of Did That Just Come Out of HER Mouth?! across the generation gap and into her younger subject’s heads.

“Since you brought up a map, perhaps we could have a copy of that insuffer—your nephew’s schedule?” Twilight asked in a desperate attempt to restore reality.

“I’m not sure that would be wise even if he had one,” Celestia sighed. “All too easy to fall into enemy hooves. If this unseen nemesis is even equine at all. I really shouldn’t say this but perhaps it’s not such a bad thing Blueblood’s alienated as many assistants as he has.”

“Okay, no social calendar…” Twilight mused, frowning. “He must have a business itinerary at least?”

“Luna made some enquires along those lines,” Celestia agreed, conjuring a folder. “There’s the question of whether or not he’ll stick to it but from what I’ve gathered the more lucrative the subject the more likely his presence.”

“This is a great place to start!” Twilight said, using her telekinesis and speed reading to reorganise the papers within to today’s date. “Hmm, we should probably find a tourist’s guidebook or something so we can keep tabs on the hottest…social…”

She and everyone else was staring at the flyers the Horseshoe Torch had retrieved from his collar and was offering to her. Unfortunately, he’d forgotten to flame off. One corner was already smouldering.

“Whoops!” Johnny flapped it out quickly, flames and epidermis creeping back along his foreleg to restore half of it to normal. The rest of him remained merrily ablaze. “Anyway! The latest in Canterlot for the next two weeks!”

“Thanks…?” Twilight carefully took the still smoking leaflets in her telekinesis.

“No problem.” The Torch’s leg reignited, buffing his already glowing 4 crest. “Like Rarity never left, right?”

“Don’t look at me,” Applejack said as the princess and dragon turned to her. “Honesty, remember?”

“Um, yes, right. We can now try and narrow down where Blueblood will be and where this enemy might be!” Twilight pumped a hoof with a determined smile. Which liquefied instantly. “Uh…where is he now, exactly?”

“Well it’s past noon, so I imagine he’ll be waking up by now,” Celestia smiled half fondly. “Sassy Saddles has been very good at getting him to keep something close to respectable hours but she’s busy with work, I understand. When Blueblood’s not entertaining her at the family’s…well, our townhouse in Highgates, he’s usually found hopping between apartments in Eminence Terrace or Ramrod Row. I’ve included the addresses in the file.”

“He’s still headin’ home at the end of the day?” Applejack squinted. “I know those old houses have tons of fancy magic locks and whatnot, but if somepony’s huntin’ him…what, not even bodyguards?”

“Both neighbourhoods have a decent C.E.U.P. presence,” Celestia smiled ruefully, “but as with so many things what is shielding Blueblood through the current crisis is a certain level of obliviousness. In this instance, he seems to think he is in a play.”

A beat.

“I’m sorry, what?” Spike said. He shrugged as the other three stared at him. “Somepony had to say it!”

“…Luna.” Johnny facehoofed, sending up sparks. “At the Palladium, Princess Luna stopped a panic by telling everypony we were the Rads—”

“Nopony calls them that,” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“—and he bought it because of course he did, so of course he thinks this is all fake!” Johnny grinned. “Man, what a legend.”

“That’s one word for it.” Applejack tipped her hat, as always grateful that Celestia seemed to prefer this instinctual gesture to bowing. “We’ll get outta your hair and on his tail, your highness. He’s in our hooves now.”

There, that way, when they dig us outta the rubble, I’ll be able to keep my head high because I didn’t lie and say SAFE hooves.

“Thank you.” Celestia inclined her head in her own sort of bowing nod as Twilight tucked the file into her saddlebag and the group began to rise from the palace gardens tea table. “Blueblood doesn’t seem to be in any immediate danger and you’ve all come quite a way, leaving an injured friend behind--”

“We’ll get settled but the sooner he’s safe, the sooner I can check on Peter,” Twilight smiled.

“Which may take who knows how long, so I was offering use of the royal suites,” Celestia smiled back, levitating over another folder. “Along with the standard travel and finance package. We really must talk about getting you girls on adventurer’s insurance or something!”

“Covering getting around the city will do for now.” Twilight levitated it into Spike’s claws. “And thank you but I think it would be best to keep a lower profile. A princess coming to visit her parents hopefully won’t disturb Blueblood’s stalker into something rash like a princess guarding their target.”

“Sound,” Celestia agreed, spreading her wings and carefully readjusting her hair. “Thank you all again. I wish I could help but my presence has had no effect as is, and I must continue to serve the kingdom in other ways. Don’t let me detain you.”

The group shared a communal nod as she took to the air, accelerating towards one of the mountain towers.

Johnny blinked at Twilight in realisation. “Your parents?”

“Yes, on Discovery Canal!” Twilight smiled as they trotted for the passageway. “You can stay at a hotel or something if you’d like of course, but our neighbourhood’s close to Eminence Terrace and with good telescope views of Highgates and Ramrod Row. The two of us can fly, so if anything does happen while he’s at home…”

“Got it,” Johnny smiled, drifting between her and Applejack. “I know a couple of clubs and mares in all three districts, so I can stake him out if you guys need to do something else. Nopony will even know I’m there!”

“You’re still on fire, bud,” Applejack pointed out as they walked into the daylight.

The Horseshoe Torch looked up at the crowds of ponies and creatures, some of them with pointing and/or screaming children, blinked and flamed off to trot abashedly between the two Elements. He got his groove back by flirting with an arts major on the underground ride over, then remembered Crystal and Rarity, and hoped whoever was after Blueblood had some nice punching bags for him to vent on.

***

They exited on Faun’s Market and took a cab the rest of the way. Twilight excitedly asked the driver to stop a little after they passed the Hub Hall but insisted on paying the full fare. “It’s worth it, thank you!”

“She loves this part,” Spike smirked at the other two as they followed the excited Alicorn around a bend.

“Yeah, who wouldn’t!” Twilight shot back, grinning. “It’s always great! Have you ever been here before, Johnny? The Canal itself?”

“No, but I’ve heard about it,” Johnny smiled, flaming on again so he could hover slightly and check out the surroundings. “You’re right. Worth it.”

Discovery Canal had originally been one of the rivers fed by the mountain streams and waterfalls that snaked through the woodlands, beneath the hills that would one day become Canterlot Castle. Mining and growing urban sprawl had eventually shut off and drained both ends of the river, leaving an empty ditch-like stretch in the middle of the neighbourhood that it would be named after. Rather than let the space go to waste, and out of thanks to the region for centuries of shelter, the city had turned it into a communal garden.

Trees, flowers and bushes pushed their way up out of the canal and over the bridge they were crossing now, Twilight dancing back and forth ahead of them. They were surrounded by lush green, flashing with leaves and petals almost every colour of the rainbow, sunlight sheeting through foliage.

Twilight and Spike leaned over the railing to wave at some foals playing in a park areas below the bridge, grinning in memory of all the times they and Shining Armor had descended those steps and danced among those trees and swings.

Applejack smiled. The way Twilight talked about her life in Canterlot made her sound like she’d been colder than a Winterzilla’s den in December, but when you saw where she’d come from, a childhood paradise the equal of any field or park in Ponyville right on the doorstep…

“We’re here!” Twilight trilled, knocking on the door.

Shuffling on the other side…and the flicker of torch light on the woodwork.

“Ahem,” Applejack said pointedly. The Torch continued to float obliviously above the cobbles. She’d have nudged him in the ribs if it wouldn’t have lit her up. “Hey! They’re only expectin’ one of us to be packin’ literal heat!”

“Say what?”

“Put it out man, you’re gonna scare the gems outta them!” Spike snapped, reaching up to snag his foreleg and haul him back to earth. Applejack felt a kind of maternal terror before she remembered, right, dragon.

“Alright, alright,” Johnny huffed, the gesture instantly dissolving his epidermis into a frantic midge swarm of sparks as the door cracked open.

“Sorry, sorry, I was oiling a catapult…” Twilight Velvet swung the door open, a surprised smile shooting across her face as she embraced Twilight. “Kids! And Applejack too! And…?”

“Tropical Storm.” Johnny took her hoof, instinctively slick as an oiled hinge. “My friends call me Johnny.”

“Just swung by to say hello before he reaches his hotel,” Twilight said with an icy smile. “Isn’t that nice of him?”

Velvet squinted. “Have we met?”

“Well, all the attention, it’s embarrassing really, but I was on last week’s cover of Before the Cart. Best dressed, apparently. Really, if the charity hadn’t had a dress code…”

Johnny cocked his head with a What-Can-You-Do smile. Applejack almost knocked him off the steps as she doffed her hat.

“Pleasure to see ya again, ma’am. Sure hope we ain’t messin’ anything up!”

“Oh, you know I enjoy a little mess now and then,” Velvet said. She winked and beckoned them all inside. “Am I making up the guest room or are you just passing through again? Spike! You’ve gotten so tall!”

“Maybe a little,” Spike said 'humbly', eating it up as the older pony clasped his fins between her hooves. “Hey, Night Light!”

“Thought that was you!” The blue Unicorn returned his embrace, levitating his smudged overalls off. “Hi, sweetie! And Applejack! Always a pleasure! And…”

His eyes locked with Johnny’s and then shot all over his body, threat assessing. “This isn’t Thiever.”

“Oh for sun’s sake…” Velvet whispered, massaging one of her temples.

“Peter,” Twilight said as she and her father glowered at each other.

“That’s what I said.” Night Light’s amber eyes matched his daughter’s, narrowing, then went wide. “Great Pony in the Sky, don’t tell me you got another one.”

“What?!” Twilight and Johnny shrieked.

“Well you didn’t tell us about the last one! And still haven’t seen fit to bring him through our door either, apparently!”

“If you must know, Peter’s in bed recovering from a freak piano accident!”

“Fell off the back of the cart while he was trying to fence them, eh?”

“Dad!”

“He said his job was damaging things.”

“Damage Control, Damage Control, Damage Control!” Johnny backed up and tripped onto a sofa as Twilight jumped furiously in place, eyes leaking Kirby Krackle. “Why will nopony listen?! He works at Damage Control!”

“I distinctly remember him admitting to being between jobs!” Night Light fumed.

“Oh sure, anything you can misconstrue you remember!” It was weird how identical their fuming faces were. “I remember you running out in the middle of lunch to steal my copy of Fantastic Beasts to make sure he wasn’t a monster!”

“Don’t you emphasise and eye-glow at me, young lady!”

“I’ll brew some coffee,” Velvet said loudly, spinning on her heel.

Applejack clamped her hat down on her head as she sprinted past Spike, outracing the azure and raspberry glows starting to fill the room. “I’llgiveyaahoof.”

“Wait!” Spike begged as she started to close the kitchen door.

“And another thing! What did he do with my pipe?! I distinctly remember it being in my suit pocket for years! Until he showed up!”

“You haven’t used that thing in forever!”

“Immaterial!”

“Spike ate it!”

“What?!”

***

Okay, let’s review. Applejack leaned her snout against the door and closed her eyes. Last night I was hangin’ out with Captain-For-Real-Adventure. Now, instead of bein’ back home where Spider-For-Real-Pony is languishin’ after an alien symbiote, whatever the flying feather that is, dropped a momma-hugger ton of pianos on ‘im, I’m in the middle of THIS.

She gave Velvet a shaky smile as she removed her hat and began to help organise cups.

Because I thought it’d be a good idea to hike all the way up to For Real Canterlot to help Twilight save the biggest ego this side of lil’ miss Great ’n’ Powerful because…ask again later. An’ as back up, we got the Horseshoe Torch, who’s name, if I’m any judge (an’ he’s given me a lot to just based off Dash’s stories) is actually on account of the fact he’s lucky he hasn’t burned down his whole dang town!

“Does Mr. Sparkle still take sugar?” she asked.

There was an angry amber flash under the door frame.

“Decaf,” Velvet said firmly. “No sugar.”

“Gotcha.”

An’ after I whip him up his cup o’ joe, we’re all gonna follow the royal voted most likely to accidentally loose the entire east coast in a poker game around an’ maybe, just maybe, make it through a probably literal murderers row of crazy ponies somepony’s throwin’ at him to ask ‘em why?

An’ everypony is deliberately NOT talkin’ about the fact Princess-For-Real-Celestia was tryin’ to hide a black eye.

She pulled her hat back on and looked out onto the Sparkles’ garden, where a glowing and ranting Twilight was making rose bushes grow bigger and thornier.

Almost wish Rainbow was here, but on the bright side she AND Rarity AREN’T.

15

“What do you mean she’s not in?!” the shadowy figure demanded.

“I fail to see the difficulty.” Rarity gave them another unimpressed once over. “Twilight. Is. Not. In. There, you see? A little flat as mnemonic devices go, but…”

“BAH!” The figure gripped her cape, skull mask wobbling slightly as she flapped it dramatically. “She has fled my wrath! She knew this day would come and that her only hope would be to flee!”

“No, she’s just busy.” Rarity made a show of examining her hoof. “I’d offer to make an appointment but her assistant’s with her and, well, really, why waste everypony’s time?”

“Time?!” the whatever she was in the skull mask bellowed. “This duel has been years in the making!”

“Can’t have been very many.”

“What?!”

“Well, I’ve known Twilight for a while now and I’ve never heard of you.” Rarity deigned to make eye contact with the blinking purple eyes in the shadowy eye sockets. “Who did you say you were again?”

“I am the feel of hoofbeats across her gra--”

“Never mind.”

“What’s going on out there?” Peter Trotter’s voice called.

“Nothing darling, you just relax!” Rarity trilled. “Listen, we’re looking after somepony right now so if you wouldn’t mind…oh, what’s the term? Getting lost.”

“Who’s that?” The skull woman was trying to peer around her now. “Has Trilight adopted a disguise in an attempt to escape me?!”

“Twilight.”

“Sorry?”

“Twilight,” Rarity repeated impatiently. “Twilight Sparkle. You said Trilight.”

“That’s right! The heroic fool who thought she could banish me to--”

“Twi-light,” Rarity enunciated carefully. “Spar-kle. The princess.”

“Oh.” The shadow mare’s fang necklace rattled as she stopped standing on her haunches. “I…That’s quite a lot of…Are you sure?”

“Oh yes. Horn, wings. Seen them myself.” Rarity went back to her hoof. “I mean, you can hang around and fight her if you like…”

“I thiiiink…” the mare in the skull and black cloak said, as if trying to tip toe through a minefield, “I may…be…in the wrong town…and possibly the…wrong…reality…”

“Possibly,” Rarity sighed.

“So I shall just…um…collect my army and…”

“Y'mean these guys?” asked an approaching voice.

Rainbow Dash flapped down to a few feet above street level, allowing three differently sized and proportioned skull-minions, trailing by a cord behind her, to sway in the breeze.

“It’s hard bringing an entire horde through a rift, okay?!” The figure’s skull horns glowed with magic, eyes narrowing. “Although…since neither the mage or the princess are here, I wouldn’t need many minions or much magic to--”

“Oh, you’re here to see Twilight?” Rainbow dropped the three goons almost on top of her, zipping down to Rarity’s level and dancing nervously. “Can I go first? It’s important! It’s really important!”

“That’s what you say every other week, darling,” Rarity played along casually, rolling her eyes. “You’re still here aren’t you?”

“Well I might not be!” Dash clapped her hooves together pleadingly. “Please! I’ve been a good filly! But there were sparks this time!”

“Sparks?” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Hmmm, I don’t know, we told you not to pick it, sounds like your own fault really.”

“Sparks?” The figure hugged her cape a little.

“I’m talkin’ to the lady here!” Dash snapped then instantly dropped back into desperation. “Please, I’ll do anything!”

“That’s rather what got you into this situation, now isn’t it?” Rarity sighed dramatically, loving every second. “I mean, I don’t know! You agree to cover one shift and suddenly everypony’s coming to you with overdue library books and revenge and exploding mares…”

“Exploding?” the shadow repeated hollowly.

“Is there an echo in here?” Dash snapped. “Pleeeease Miss Rarity, I don’t wanna take out everything for hundreds of miles in a rainbow megaton of awesomeness!”

“Twilight told you to behave yourself!” Rarity wagged an admonitory hoof because she’d overplayed the pedicure routine. “Really, I fail to see how this is my problem. I’m not going to be torn asunder by pure kinetic energy if you happen to stub your hoof and burst. Not in my contract.”

“But the dance!” Dash began to spin and prance violently on the doorstep. The would-be adversary tried to hide behind Twilight’s mailbox. “Even though it means I may take out half the eastern seaboard, the urge to dance is in my soul, Miss Rarity!”

“No it isn’t!” Rarity fumed. “You traded it to us when you agreed to the bargain!”

“Then I was destined to explode this entire time!” Dash was moonwalking now. “Oh, cruel, cruel fate! ♪Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Square!♪”

The shortest minion’s eyes bugged. “Boss?!”

“Retreat!” The mystery mare was already stumbling over her wildebeest skull boots, cape blurring as she fled back to the caves they’d come from. “They’re all mad here! Retreat!”

***

Rarity shook her head as they watched the minions hop to their hooves and scamper after her. “Nice people, I thought.”

“No you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“The old exploding pony dance routine,” Dash smirked, flapping indoors. “Never gets old.”

Peter was on the landing, eyebrow raised. “You two would tell me if you were plotting to take over the world, right?”

“Funny. Should you be up?” Dash circled him, giving him a once over. “You do look less of a train wreck than before…”

“Cheers,” Peter muttered.

“He had a coughing fit that sounded like Camptown Races, but other than that he’s seems alright.” Rarity trotted up the stairs. “Still, really don’t think you should be on your hooves, darling.”

“My Spider-Sense went off at the door!” Peter protested as she gently turned him around.

“No it didn’t, you liar.” Dash hovered in the doorway behind them to make sure he didn’t try and escape Rarity’s grasp as she levitated his sheets. “Hay, you oughta be honoured! A quiet day in Ponyville. Usually the streets’re flooded with cake by now.”

“Because of Pinkie Pie…?”

“Pretty sure that’s prejudiced!”

“To be fair it’s most likely because the Crusaders are off on that field trip,” Rarity smiled, helping a reluctant Peter back into bed. “But I’d think you’d enjoy a day off, darling! All that galloping and swinging you usually do! You look so peaceful when you and Twilight are just trotting through the marketplace…”

“Ooh, maybe that’s it!” Dash leered. “She’s not here!”

“I just want to see that letter,” Peter said for the sixth time in an hour alone.

“And throw off Spike’s nice neat filing system?" Rarity countered. "No, out of the question. Sit!”

You can lift over eight tons and you grew up with May Reilly, Peter’s inner spider chittered, all eight eyes narrowing, you can take her.

“I can read it in bed.”

“With a stack of Scientific Equestria and Power Ponies right there?” Rarity smiled, indicating the bedside table. “Bit dry, don’t you think?”

“If it’s so dry then there’s nothing to worry about, right?”

“Other than your boredom, darling, and what sort of temporary hostess would I be if I allowed you to succumb to boredom?”

“You were just telling me to enjoy the day off.”

“Suggesting, darling, suggesting!” Rarity’s telekinesis fluffed his pillow.

“I beat up Firelord once,” Peter muttered, feeling like his resolve had been turned into pebbles and they were slipping under his hooves. “Pretty sure I can handle a worrying letter.”

“Who said it was worrying?” Not a flicker in that porcelain smile.

“So Twilight and Applejack aren’t in the middle of anything dangerous, so there’s no drawback to me reading about how much danger they aren’t in! Glad we sorted that out.”

“Yes, so much better than veiled threats,” Rarity agreed, levitating over some more apple juice. “And since there’s no danger, well, you can’t read about what isn’t there now, can you?”

“Trick question, Johnny’s with them.” Peter tried to sit up fast enough to startle her and winced at the sensation it sent slicing up his back.

“Yeah, ‘cause as we all know, Applejack let’s anypony get away with anything.” Dash flicked through the stack of Power Ponies until she found one with Zap prominently on the cover. “And Twilight’ll be so glad ya dragged yourself all the way up there when she finds ya passed out on her hotel room floor.”

Peter’s eyes flashed as Rarity used passing him his cup to (gently) force him back down into a relaxing position. “So they have to stay at a hotel.”

“Search me.” Dash shrugged, eyes on panels. “It’s Canterlot, there’s like a thousand! And even if they are and you found the right one it’s not like they’d let some rando into Princess Twilight’s room just ‘cause he says they’re dating.”

“I wouldn’t be using the front desk,” Peter muttered.

“Peter, come on,” Rarity urged. “Just because you’re up on your hooves again doesn’t mean you’re ready to go wall…crawling.” She made a face, still not remotely approving of the term. “What if you’re hurt so bad you get stuck or something? Not a lot of good for the old secret identity, I’d wager! You don’t even have your costume.”

A beat.

“Wait.” Dash’s head snapped up from a double page splash of Zap battling Arbarus. “No way. Where?!”

“Show me the letter and it’s all yours,” Peter said quickly. He felt a surge of guilt, fully aware he was probably dooming half of Equestria, but the satisfaction of Rarity’s stunned face drowned it out.

Dash was suddenly perched on the edge of his bed, leaning in so close and smiling so widely his bruises and fur felt like they were trying to crawl up his torso to hide behind his neck. “Deal. Where? Now!”

“Letter first!”

“Twilight’s closet?”

“Please. Letter!”

“Twilight’s lab?”

“Clestia’s letter. Now.”

“Twilight’s Canterlot trunk?” Dash’s pupils shrank with glee as Peter’s shrank with terror. “AHA!”

“Secret compartment in the base,” Peter sighed. “You push the bottom stud in the middle and it slides out. But I want that letter!”

“Hope you’re happy,” Rarity muttered as they shielded their eyes from the rainbow contrail.

“Do I really need to point out how none of what’s about to happen would’ve if you’d just given me the sun blasted letter?”

“Oh, we’re playing that game?” Rarity huffed, folding her forelegs. “Then permit me to point out the reason I didn’t is because there’s nothing in there and you’re already on edge!”

“Then why not let me--”

“Because you’ll see what you want to see! And then you’ll drop into the middle of what Twilight and Applejack are doing, probably just as they’ve fixed everything, and un-do it! Then you’ll wind up not only with probably more bruises, but on the end of a lecture Twilight wouldn’t have had to give you if you weren’t winding yourself up even tighter than she warned us you would!”

“Wow…”

Peter blinked at the panting fashionista. Rarity coughed and smoothed her mane back into shape.

“We may be, ah, speaking from experience.” She gave an abashed grin.

Then a faceless horror kicked the door back open.

“Experience this!”

Dash's voice was muffled because she was wearing the Spidey mask, the gloves on her forelegs. Her mane poked out of the neck, making it look even more like Spider-Pony’s head had been grafted onto the rookie Wonderbolt’s body.

Rarity strangled a shriek as she tried to scramble under the covers. Peter could not begin to articulate how he felt about the image, beyond Do Not Want.

“Rainbow!” Rarity chided. “What on earth are you doing?”

“♪Livin’ on the edge, fightin’ crime, spinnin’ webs!♪” Dash fluttered around the room, pointing her gloved hooves at things. The lenses narrowed. “Aww man, where’re the webs?!”

“I beg your pardon?” Peter instinctively stuck his one working foreleg under his other’s cast, his mole standing out even more as his face coloured.

“You know what I mean!” Dash hovered off the floor, turning her new gloves this way and that like a mantis testing it’s scythes. Her lenses shrank and grew as she tried to see if the mask had some kind of zoom feature. “The button that lets you shoot that stuff! They sell ‘em in like every toy store! I got one for my cousin’s Cute-ceanera!”

“Oh, the Spider-Hero™ stuff?” Peter said. Dash blinked with Spider-Pony’s eyes at how…pouty he looked now. “Yeah, not how that works. Some marketing company threw it together. I don’t get a hay-penny.”

“Huh.” Dash wondered what the little nozzles on the ends were for then. “So how does…?”

“Letter!” Peter snapped.

“Alright, alright.”

Dash went to pull it out of her wing pocket, realised her mouth was now covered and just sort of shook her wing over him until the scroll flopped out. Peter sighed with relief as he unfurled it.

Dear Ms. Sparkle,

Regarding your recent correspondence, Quill Force Eight Publishing LTD. thanks you for your continued interest in our Starswirl the Bearded publications, Face Front, Beneath the Brim and Swirls!, but is writing this to ask that you please stop sending in your research on the alleged romance between Starswirl and his noted rival Moonstep the Mighty, particularly your impressively detailed charts.

It is not QFE’s policy to publish what, at best, may be regarded as historical fanfiction, and the more detailed charts regarding physiological compatibility are hardly suitable material for Swirls!, a magazine for foals ages 5 and up.

Furthermore, the sheer amount of mail has led to at least two mailroom injuries, for which we of course do not hold you responsible but

Peter checked the date, a month before Twilight’s ascension, even as he realised the paper stock was different and the text typewritten, and glared up into Dash’s lenses. It was, sadly, not the first time he’d glared into Spider-Pony’s face.

“Didn’t say which letter.” She winked. “Oh wow, I didn’t know it could do that! Awesome! What’s this thing made of?”

“Hopes and dreams,” Peter muttered sourly, crumpling the letter up and hurling it across the room. A cyan telekinesis glow surrounded it and daintily dropped it into the small basket by the bureau.

“I for one think it’s wonderful that you two are at this point,” Rarity smiled as he turned to blink at her. “You know, leaving things at each other’s places. And something that has to be hidden in a secret school trunk compartment? Delicious! Ooh, perhaps that’s what you need to cheer up! A costume designing session!”

“For me or Spidey?” Peter smiled wryly.

“Same difference, darling,” Rarity beamed. “How about something in a nice scarf? I’ll even let you pick the colours!”

“She’s being really generous,” Dash grinned as she pulled off the mask. “You’re maybe concussed and can’t be held responsible for your choices.”

“I’m starting to see why Johnny hangs out with you two,” Peter muttered, sinking defeated into the sheets.

“You’re one to talk, roomie!” Dash shot back as Rarity blushed.

“I…didn’t mean it like that,” Peter said apologetically. “Sorry, I’m just…I dunno.”

“Stir crazy. I get it.” Dash nodded back. “Been laid up a time or two myself believe it or not.”

“I believe it.”

“Wise guy,” she smirked as she tossed the gloves and mask into his lap. “Point is, you’re better off falling back on your friends than anything else, because anything else’ll probably mean you just fall on your back.”

“Now there’s an idea!” Rarity was halfway through sketching the scarf. “Your friends must have seen that unflattering headline by now. We should get them up here, make a day of it. Your aunt and Pinkie adore each other!”

“Maybe tomorrow?” Peter tried a smile. “May’ll have told them Twilight’s got me up here and Spider-Pony’s burdened them with enough over the years. I think they deserve a day off from me if anything. Besides, the last thing I need is Fera busting on me for getting busted up.”

“Is the burden that you’re way too down on yourself?” Dash muttered.

“While I don’t agree with the wording,” Rarity said pointedly, nudging the Pegasus in the ribs with an elbow that had floored changelings, "I must echo the sentiment. Supporting each other isn’t a burden, it’s what friends do…Rainbow, would you mind? I can pay you back tomorrow.”

“One bit in the jar comin’ up,” Dash agreed, heading for the door.

“Jar?” Peter blinked. “I thought Spike was joking!”

“We like to think of it as keeping track of how much good we’re doing,” Rarity said.

“Plus, when it’s full we can spend it on something special!” Dash beamed, fluttering back into the room.

“Where was I…?” Rarity mused.

“They’re his friends,” Dash prompted, returning to her (Spike’s) comic.

“Thank you. Anyway, of course you’re not burdening them! It sounds like you could use a break from Spider-Ponying more than anypony else.”

She gave it a bit as he considered the prospect then shared twin hyena grins with Rainbow. “So who’s Fera?”

“Give me the letter,” Peter said instantly, as much to take revenge as anything else.

“Bet we can work it out.” Dash stroked her chin with a wingtip. “Somepony from the paper? Nah, look, he’s trying not to laugh so it’s totally somepony he used to date…”

“Oh gosh.” Rarity put a scandalised hoof to her mouth to hide the delighted smile. “It’s the Sphinx lady, isn’t it? The one Twilight’s always grumbling about!”

“Black Sphinx?!” Dash jumped up, scattering comics. “You two were…? You were! I thought your boss just made that up to make you look bad! Holy cow!”

Peter flushed, unable to keep the grin off his face. “I was 18!”

“Man, I do not get you.” Dash shook her head. “Mr. Responsibility, but you pal around with a jewel thief—"

“Ex-thief,” Peter corrected, frowning.

“—and Johnny Storm,” Dash continued, crushing his protests. “Half the time out in the field you crack worse jokes than Spike does, but then when the mask’s off you’re all down on yourself because you didn’t recycle properly or whatever!”

“…sorry?” Peter tried, partly apologising, mostly completely lost.

“Don’t interrupt! Where was I?! So, you’re a depressed dork! And yet everypony you know is awesome!” Dash threw her hooves to the ceiling. “Seriously, the one who isn’t a kick butt detective runs a club! Your lawyer is a blind ninja or whatever! You’ve teamed up with every hero ever so you can thumb your tail at the mother hugging Iron Mage! And now you know me! Your crazy awesome social circle is complete!”

“Say thank you,” Rarity rolled her eyes as the cornered patient turned to her helplessly.

“WHO. ARE. YOU?” Dash bellowed, standing astride Peter’s bed and lowering her face closer to his on each word.

“Right now, I’m terrified,” Peter squeaked. “Nice to meet you.”

“Feel better?” Rarity was legitimately examining her pedicure now.

“Little bit,” Dash wheezed, climbing off the bed. “Seriously, at least tell me this. Were you ever a Lad Pioneer?”

Peter's eyes narrowed. “Give me that letter and I’ll spill.”

“UUUUGH!” Dash shrieked in almost Twilight worthy fashion and tossed the actual parchment out of her wings in a way that reminded him of pumpkin bombs. “Fine! Hope it makes you toss your piano keys all at once!”

Peter watched as she stomped out of the room, somehow feeling worse than when he’d come to in that string and ivory strewn crater.

“What’s her problem?”

“You’re the one with the multiple personalities!” Dash called back up the stairs. The sound of the front door slamming was so loud leaves tumbled past the windows.

“I think it’s more that it’s been bothering her since last night,” Rarity sighed. “You’ve seen how our Rainbow can be when she doesn’t care about something?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Well, when she does she wants to know as much about it as possible. And when that doesn’t work all that passion builds up with nowhere to go, except into the frustration that she may be being kept out, and well…” Rarity shrugged.

“I’m not…keeping anypony out?” Peter blinked. “I mean…That is…”

“You don’t mean to,” Rarity smiled kindly. “Or, if you don’t mind me saying so, you’re not sure if you are because you’ve had to keep a rather big secret for a lot of your life. Perhaps that’s why we don’t know each other as well as we ought to.”

“Ought to?” Peter repeated.

“Twilight’s important to all of us too, Peter,” Rarity smiled wearily. “Alright, go ahead. Read her letter.”

Still turning occasionally to glance at her, Peter unrolled the scroll. His expression changed several times as he re-read it. Twice.

“…is this why you were laughing? Because this is probably a Discord prank?”

“Nooo,” Rarity said and bit her lip to quash a fresh swell of hooting, “but is it really worth working yourself up over? Or trying to leverage it out of Rainbow Dash?”

“Princess Celestia watching Neighs of Our Lives should probably worry a lot of ponies,” Peter chuckled.

“Peter!” Rarity said a little more sharply than she should. It wasn’t the best time to be glib and she was a lifelong Lives watcher.

“Sorry!” Peter shrugged. “But now I know what Twilight’s up against…”

“And Applejack. And Spike. And Johnny.” Rarity looked him right in the eye. “You trust them at least, I hope.”

“I trust Twilight just fine!” Peter protested. It was true but the defensiveness felt too instinctual. “I just…it helps.”

“You’re not going to go galloping after them with one working foreleg?” Raised aristocratic brow, Rainbow-Dash-Put-That-Down tone.

Part of Peter resented that, the colt who’d gotten straight A’s. Spidey had landed him exactly one detention but the (admittedly bratty) instinct was that that wasn’t supposed to happen to him.

“Couldn’t if I wanted to.” He gently rubbed the cast. “Although it’s already starting to feel better.”

“Oh, that’s good!” Rarity looked sincerely pleased for him before the governess returned to her face. “So you’re going to focus on getting better instead of stewing over what the others are up to?”

“…not more than I already am.” Peter shrugged. “You saying you’re not worried?”

“Of course not,” Rarity smiled sadly. “But it’s not the first time we’ve had to take something on faith in the Element game. And at least it’s not magic this time.”

“It’s Prince Blueblood, Rarity,” Peter said flatly.

“I know!” She tried to hold in the laughter which just made her snorting even louder and unladylike. “You’ve, ah, you’ve met?”

“It wasn’t a…” Peter quickly scanned the letter. “Personal highlight. Wait, have you? Oh man, I’m sorry!”

“Twilight hasn’t told you about the Gala?” Rarity’s brow went up again.

“She starts and then gets this look on her face…” Peter pointed at her. “Like that one!”

“Yes. Well. We just tell ourselves it all ended with donuts.” Rarity forced a smile with years of behind the counter experience. “But have we at least sorted this out? You’re better off relaxing here and letting our friends get on with things in Canterlot. Like we’ve been telling you all afternoon.”

“Alright, alright.” Peter held up his working foreleg. “Sorry, it’s just what I do. If I can do something, I’ve…just got to. Great power and all that.”

“Is that a Princess Celestia quote? I’ve heard it somewhere before.”

“Probably me,” Peter smiled ruefully. “Twilight loves it. Well, she did.”

Rarity returned it. “I can see why. But at least she still loves you, right?”

“Yeah.” Peter’s smile became more sincere. “And I’m sorry about whatever it is with Dash. I spend a lot of time in my head anyway and I’m used to Twilight and Spike knowing what there is to tell. Which is not a lot.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true and the girls and I would still be delighted to learn it.” Rarity put a hoof on his shoulder. “After all, that infamous Spider-Pony was probably going to run into those dashing Elements of Harmony anyway, so we may as well be friends, yes?”

“Right,” Peter smiled back, a slight narrowing of his eyes letting her know he’d caught and enjoyed the affectionate barb. “And it’d be nice to see everypony back home up here. Just, maybe the day after tomorrow? They all have work today and I’ll look less horrific by then.”

“We have an agreement. Pinkie shall be thrilled,” Rarity agreed. “On that note!”

She levitated a syringe. “According to Twilight’s schedule it’s time for your medication.” Her eyes flashed like flint struck by thunder. “Bend over.”

“What?!” Peter tried to haul the blankets up as a shield.

“Kidding!” Rarity trilled, squirting the syringe into his apple juice. “See? We’re already having a whale of a time! Chin chin!”

To be Continued

Author's Note:

GLOSSARY

Comments

[Crack-Fic Casey]

I know Daredevil is a brooding avenger of justice and all, but he can be hilarious when the moment calls.
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I got distracted looking at funny Daredevil things, I'll finish the chapter now.

[TheManehattanite]

9782349
Those are all good but "Who could have foreseen this happening again?!" fucking destroyed me.