So it's safe to assume that Adam will be staying female?

Shouldn't Fluttershy knows about all that nature's rules shitz?

It is always annoying to see Fluttershy depicted as some fanatical and crazy animal lover...

7684018 Yeah, he/she ain't changing back sadly. Buuuut she's got ways to deal with that now. And gained few benefits that a guy wouldn't have. *wink wink*

Aggghh stupid cliffhanger

Nice chapter, The Flow is certainly evolving at a decent pace! I love the Parallels you are drawing between Celly/Lyna's Relationship and Celestia/Luna's relationship, I suspect it will be plenty of fun watching the two pairs interact and learning a little bit about themselves in the process!

Glad to see you turned on the Like/Dislike bar, That green must make you very proud!

As for your TimberPuppys name, I suggest Woody or Oakley.

Loved it! Can't wait for the next chapter!

I'm afraid I can't continue reading this. It seems too difficult for me to imagine Adam's change in voice and gender, since my mind still hears him as male.

I'm not saying there is something wrong with the story and I noticed the negativity in my last comment. It's my imagination and if the male character was originally male, my mind will still see that as male. If anything, my imagination is at fault here.

You are doing a good job, but I'm going to stop here now. Good luck with the story, and may the Light of the Sun guide you.

7684044 unfortunately I will not continue to read this story because of the gender change that doesn't mean that this is a bad story but I refuse to read anything with gender change I wish you a successful story

Loving the story so far, can't wait to see where it goes from here!

why do you still need the Human world? I'm affraid this is going to be some sort of Human VS Pony army story.

There, standing on two hindlegs was another pony, 'she', Fluttershy assumed, had a white coat which was paritally covered by a bulky vest, a flowing ethereal mane of many colors and a long horn plus two large folded wings on her back. One image of a certain pony had materialized in her mind.

'Princess Celestia?'

ooohhhh and it came just right for Halloween

"I can do this myself, Lyna." she seethed as she turned and once again tried to wash herself.

I believe you need to look again, in several places it looks like you actually meant Adam, but you still made her talking with herself.

7684206

Finally someone who can just straight up say "no thanks dont like the story" instead of raging their ass off and hating on the author...

7684546 yet I still get 2 dislikes while the litterally previous comment which basically says the same thing has 1 like... oh well if people want to hate on my opinion, let them

That soldier defiantly deserved that.

But definately disagree with the name. Not that it needed changing but to choose one of Celestia's nicknames.

Do something original for name.

7684562

At least I was honest and explained my reasons.

7685708 if I were to explain my reasons it would sound too much like a rant so I chose not to do that but I just want this to drop so I'll just leave this here and not return

Timmy.

7685708 Indeed, If someone Can't explain their reasoning for Publicly disliking something and tries to simply state "It Would be to much like a Rant" Then it probably is a rant and your reasoning is fairly weak. Your Personal opinion and personal likes/dislikes should matter little in the critiqueing of a peice of literature it can be used as an aformentioned in your review, but a score or rating should be set in place based off the facts, such as; Is it grammaticly correct? Does it have good flow? Are the Characters actions/Thoughts/Speech believable? Is the world immersive? etc. At Least you showed the courage to explain why you did not like this story and even pointed to your self as the cause for such dislike. Thank you.

You are most welcome, 7689231. Even if I leave the story, I am the type of person who will give credit (or upvote) to the writer for trying as well as an encouraging comment to boost his confidence in writing for others who would still read it, unlike those who just dislike and not give a reason why.

I have nothing against gender change honestly. Hell, I read Universal Acceptance and it had one chapter of a stallion changing into a mare, and I still read that story, but there are certain limits I have for the concept, too, and a man turning into a mare is one of those limits, unfortunately. For some odd reason, I can imagine a genderbent stallion sounding like a mare, but humans? Not so much.

I still gave him my upvote originally.

Dog names for you.
Copper
Red (Redwood)
Wheatly
Maple
Pino

And that's all I got.

For now.

Fluttershy tried to suppress the barage (<- needs a 2nd r) of whimpers that were about to unleash, 'P-p-please don't s-see me,' fear crossed her face as the alicorn pulled out a knife from a sheath on his bulky vest, it glinting in the darkness. (shouldnt be her there or at less be it's)

Adam and was caught by (suprise Needs a R ) as Adam lunged (foward needs a R in there), driving the bayoneted
(really dont like your R's do you lol)
and the dog name should be
Cujo i think he would want to name the wolf after a dog that when't deadly in the small hope to try to keep a small part of his masculinity

7710380 I agree with him just in the time alone they would have to stop whatever they were doing just to fine out that fluttershy is not just pulling something out her ass, and see why fluttershy think shes trying to kill her and then move to the everfree and then find them all within a few hours at best. cuz we dont know how long time passed but since they didnt even cook the deer yet i dont think that much time as passed yet. i would think a small chapter would be put in for the next one showing the steps that the 2 sisters took to get there watching them like that but still the time to do all that would still be off unless you put some small time lapse or something to give yourself a better window to work with (if your going to show how tia and lulu got there)

I almost had to stop reading when Adam/Celly tramitized Fluttershy but the story is looking like it's going to redeem itself so can't wait for more.

So, not only Adam/Celly has serious anger issues and is armed to the teeth, bur her sister mauled someone for some inconsequential reason? Futters is lucky to be alive at all... And so is anyone they interact with.

Anyway, the small errors I found in the first chapter are gone now, good job in improving

GET OUT YOUR MILITARY-GRADE FLAMETHROWER YOU STOLE FROM MYTHBUSTERS, AND BURN YOUR HOMEWORK. IS IT ON COMPUTER? NO F'S GIVEN. BURN IT.