A Cavalcade of Cards

by QueenMoriarty

The Transported Pony

Starlight Glimmer stepped off the train, and smiled at the dusty expanse that was Appleloosa. She always relished any excuse to visit the frontier town, as it seemed like a more pleasant version of her own village. The citizens had cutie marks, self-determination, their own culture, and even one or two exports. They also had reliable sources of food, water, and social interaction, all things that Starlight's village needed to rely on caravans for.

But perhaps the biggest bonus that Appleloosa had over her village, or indeed anywhere else in Equestria, was the Grand Arena. It had only been built very recently, but it was already the biggest tourist attraction south of Ponyville. Starlight had heard rumors that some Canterlot nobles took the train down to Appleloosa every single day to see the fights in the Grand Arena, and even the Crystal Empire was constantly buzzing with the latest gossip about which gladiator had toppled who. It was the most popular glorification of pony-on-pony violence since that one week that Jet Set and Upper Crust had tried to make their underground mud-wrestling league public.

The thing that Starlight enjoyed most about the fights in the Grand Arena was that they weren't really fights. Only the most skilled mages and warriors were made gladiators, and when you reached the level of skill that they had, the thing you were second-best at was making it look like you were doing the thing you were best at. It was all a trick, a show, for the people to entertain themselves with as they watched some of the healthiest specimens of the day clash over and over under the baking sun.

Of course, Starlight had a personal reason to be visiting the Grand Arena on that day. She had a friend who was fighting in the pits.

---

Every great magic trick consists of three parts, or acts.

Starlight wandered down the Viewing Line, unafraid to let her eyes wander all over the lineup of lads and lasses that stood at varying degrees of attention. She took in the various leather straps, the bandoliers, the almost comically oversized weapons, and the ridiculously complex costumes. It almost looked more like she was admiring the cast of a play about gladiators rather than the fighters for that day's matches, except that the variety of cutie marks on proud, rippling display were definitely not fake.

The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a stallion.

Beside each gladiator sat a clipboard. The clipboards each displayed a variety of personal facts about the gladiator, almost always listing their record of how many fights they had won since their last loss, and in some cases outlining the last century of their lineage. There were pages and pages squeezed into every clipboard, until it seemed like they might explode at any second.

Except for the gladiator at the end. Their clipboard was completely bare except for their win-loss record. Starlight turned to inspect the gladiator themselves, and saw nothing but an all-encompassing hood and cloak, with two eyes just barely visible within.

She shows you this object. Perhaps she asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't.

"And who are you?" Starlight asked, unsure of how much of the game she was supposed to give away in a room full of experienced players.

The hooded figure regarded her for but a second. "I assume you can read, ma'am." The voice was disguised, hidden under a ridiculous number of reverb enchantments.

Starlight only glanced back to the clipboard long enough to pretend she had read the name on the top, then turned back to the figure. "Yes, but any good gladiator should be able to self-advertise."

"My agent says it's a bad idea. I tend to oversell myself."

"Says the gladiator going by the stage name of 'Arcanis the Omnipotent'." Starlight cocked an eyebrow.

"And standing next to ponies with names like 'The Unrestricted Destruction of All Things'. This is clearly your first time in the Grand Arena."

Starlight nodded, now very unsure of whether she was breaking some kind of gladiator faux-pas.

"Go to your seat. Make your wager on the winner."

---

The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary.

The fight was nothing special. Arcanis the Omnipotent was trading blows with a heavy-set earth pony who insisted that his name was Camel. Arcanis had tipped their hand fairly early that they were a unicorn underneath the enormous cloak, but the constant bursts of magic being slung across the arena were barely doing anything except buying Arcanis the time needed to keep dodging.

Camel advanced with deceptive speed for one of such daunting frame, and Starlight gasped along with everypony else as he drew his enormous sword. The blade swung around, and Arcanis stopped dodging. When the sword struck the cloaked unicorn, it encountered no resistance. The cloak and hood folded around Camel's sword as though they were so much empty cloth. And as Camel's swing finished with a flourish that sent the cloak flying, the audience could see that Arcanis had disappeared.

Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know.

Camel raged, like the barbarian he appeared to be. He slashed at the ground with his sword, and muttered some malarkey about it not being a real fight until there was blood spilled. It lost a bit of weight when you knew that he was a strict vegetarian and actually had a massive prejudice against griffons for nothing but dietary reasons, but the crowd loved his childish display.

You want to be fooled.

It was only seconds before Camel stopped thrashing about, instead sheathing his sword and begrudgingly declaring himself the winner. In response, the audience was quick to boo him. Starlight snickered as a group of ponies in makeshift robes declared Arcanis the greatest sorcerer of their time.

But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back.

The dust in the center of the arena began to swirl and spark. It became a tornado in miniature, and then oh-so-briefly swelled to the size of the real thing. The gusts tore at the audience, and one or two of the pegasi actually found themselves lifted aloft by the winds. And when the dust cleared, there stood Arcanis the Omnipotent. Or, to be more precise...

"The Grrrrrreat and Powerful... TRIXIE!"

The cheers that erupted at her name shook the Grand Arena, and as Starlight had heard whispered to her a million times, just a moment of this crowd cheering was enough to drown out all the years of ridicule. To be able to come back and do it again, over and over, was Heaven.

That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part. The part we call "The Prestige".

Camel drew his blade. Trixie's horn glowed. And the real fight began.

Author's Note:

Because really. Could it have been anyone else?

Also, go watch The Prestige. It's a fantastic film.

Comments

[Alaborn]

And Camel is Kamahl?

[QueenMoriarty]

7649785 Exactly!

Starlight just isn't hearing his name correctly, and didn't bother to read it.

[Sigmacipher]

7649785 Remind me who that guy is again?

[FanOfMostEverything]

You telegraphed Arcanis's true identity a bit too much for my tastes, though I still enjoyed the performance. Still, I can't think that she can deliver that kind of reveal on a frequent basis.

There's also the matter of Equestria enjoying even play-acted bloodsport, but they do have pro wrestling in the comics.

7649883
The protagonist of the Mirari Saga, spanning the Odyssey and Onslaught blocks. He traveled from his home in the Pardic Mountains to the fighting pits of the Cabal, where he first saw the artifact known as the Mirari. Like almost all who beheld it, he immediately desired it. His journey to claim it would claim countless lives, warp the very landscape, see the rebirth and death of gods, ignite his sister Jeska's planeswalker spark, and—through a very convoluted series of events—lead to the creation of New Phyrexia.

Granted, that last bit's also partially Urza's fault, as most things are in the Magic multiverse.

[Sigmacipher]

7649976 Please tell me it also led to someone blowing up said artifact...cause it's apparently as addicting as Jite was...

[QueenMoriarty]

7650020 Karn put it back in his pocket, if I recall.

[FanOfMostEverything]

7650020
Karn turned it into Memnarch, who got himself infected with just a smidgen of glistening oil and gradually went insane. And also built soul-traps to drag other creatures to Mirrodin for testing purposes. All while the oil divided and grew...

[Starlight Nova]

7650067 How did you draw the cover art for this story?

[FanOfMostEverything]

7650215
"Draw" is a rather strong word. KingMoriarty picked a vector image of Discord from Derpibooru. I took a partial screen shot of the Gatherer page, scaled Discord to an appropriate size, pasted the "Random Card" image into a new layer, rotated it into position, and did some work with the eraser.

[Pretentious Narwhal]

"The Grrrrrreat and Powerful... TRIXIE!"

BOOM CALLED IT

[Sigmacipher]

7650067 Hence that bit in the Sun Cage chapter about oil...jesus where's the TNT when you need it...

[QueenMoriarty]

7651544 Sitting in a box labelled 'THIS DOESN'T WORK'.

[PresentPerfect]

Yeah, I kinda figured that was who it was, but this was still fun. :)