An Excerpt from the Planeswalker's Field Guide
The Planeswalker's Field Guide: The Essential Manual For Those Seeking to Explore Worlds Beyond Their Own
by Tamiyo
Chapter 1,4901 - Lorwhinny
Don't.
Those of you still reading may be wondering why. If being the cause of untold death and destruction is not enough of a deterrent—or perhaps the opposite—then I will elaborate.
Lorwhinny is perhaps the most fragile plane in all the multiverse, being both the smallest in scale and the least magic-resistant by a very wide margin. While it boasts the rare phenomenon of virtually untapped leylines, this does have the unfortunate side effect that the plane has not been able to build up any form of resistance to magical assault, magical enhancement, or indeed, any form of magic whatsoever. While experiments could not find any conclusive evidence due to safety concerns, it has been calculated that any magic spell which draws on more than three thaums of magical energy at a time would put too much strain on the leylines of Lorwhinny. As a result, the spell would end up consuming all available mana in the entire plane, and the resulting enhancement to the spell would most likely cause it to subsequently destroy the plane.
As far as we have been able to determine, the delicate mana balance of Lorwhinny would not be disrupted by the simple arrival of a planeswalker. The shockwaves of extraplanar imposition seem to disperse too quickly for any change to register, other than the obvious one. And that is where the greatest danger to Lorwhinny lies, in the most basic act of 'walking directly into the plane. Owing to the aforementioned small scale of Lorwhinny, if a planeswalker with any more mass than the garden variety scute bug (Chapter 483, Zendikar) were to enter the plane, they would most likely have killed over one thousand instances of the local dominant life form and destroyed at least one major city in the time it took them to realize where they were.
Seeing as the overwhelming majority of known planeswalkers at the time of writing are of a scale and mass roughly analogous to the multiversal standard for the human life form, the scale of destruction in almost all cases is likely to feature much larger numbers of casualties than those projected above, to say nothing of the damage that might be done deliberately. For all intents and purposes, a planeswalker entering Lorwhinny would be functionally indistinct from an Eldrazi titan (Chapter 1, the Blind Eternities) entering any other plane, except perhaps that rampant insanity would more than likely be superseded by heightened levels of death, destruction and general strife.
One might wonder how such a plane could survive as long as it has. How could a plane no larger than a riding dragon, peopled by a single sapient species with functionally no ability to cast magic and no other defensive capabilities to speak of, endure any of the myriad threats to a plane's existence? The answer lies in a single word: Ungula (Chapter 1,010).
The unique interactions between the planes of Ungula and Lorwhinny, in addition to being the only means of obtaining data about Lorwhinny without first reducing it to lifeless rubble, is also verifiably the only reason why the inhabitants of Lorwhinny (hereafter referred to as their own name for themselves, Breezies, for the purposes of brevity) did not die out long ago from a critical lack of any survival or self-improvement capabilities. These unique interactions are thanks in large part to an unstable planar portal between the two planes, which is only ever open for a few days at a time and, according to every available source, is in fact the multiverse's only known instance of a naturally occurring planar portal.
As for the interactions between the Breezies and the Ungulans, it is one of the most one-sided symbiotic relationships in the Multiverse. The Breezies have adapted to using the pollen of the black lotus, a flower of which there exist no viable samples in their entire native plane but is abundantly found in Ungula, as a form of power source for very nearly everything in Lorwhinny (it should be noted that the most advanced technology yet developed by Breezies is the portable lantern). Being native to a plane with no natural predators and a weather system that has never produced a storm more severe than the amount of wind needed to bend a blade of grass, the comparatively apocalyptic weather system of Ungula represents a significant obstacle in the collection of Lorwhinny's only power source, to say nothing of almost every living thing that inhabits that plane.
This is where the Ungulans come in. They keep fastidious reports and schedules concerning when the portal opens and for how long (and therefore, how long the Breezies may remain in Ungula), marshal the weather to ensure that the Breezies not only face no obstacles on the way but also receive enough of a favorable wind that they make the round trip in time, keep the path clear of any wildlife (including very small insects), and even provide moral support at any point where the Breezies pass over a settlement.
And in return for single-handedly (or hoofedly in the case of an Ungulan) and regularly preventing the extinction of an entire plane, at the expense of government resources and several days of volunteer labor? The Ungulans have another magical creature to admire and make the subject of paintings.
If you are still interested in visiting Lorwhinny, and do not plan on destroying it and its inhabitants as a direct result of said visit, there is a means of experiencing it without any immediately obvious negative repercussions for the breezies. First, one should planeswalk to Ungula. Once there, make your way to the kingdom of Equestria, and seek out Princess Twilight Sparkle (see Chapter 1,010 for details on how to find both) and inquire about the possibility of visiting Lorwhinny. If she expresses confusion, or seems to be referring to Lorwyn (Chapter 227), clarify that you mean the Breezie dimension.
Once your schedule has been coordinated with the next projected opening of the portal, Princess Twilight Sparkle will teach you a spell that will transform you into a Breezie. Assuming you do not attempt to use any magical spells in excess of three thaums while within Lorwhinny, this spell should allow for a low-to-zero-impact visit.
And for those of you wondering why it is important to keep to the schedule when you have a spell that can turn you into a Breezie at any time, it is worth keeping in mind that the Blind Eternities are not the best place to suddenly transform yourself into a fairy that cannot withstand a strong breeze. Also, due to high concerns of possible death, it has not yet been verified if a Breezie can survive planeswalking. Until such tests can be carried out without significant risk to all involved, it is recommended that the Lorwhinny-Ungula portal be the only means of entry and exit utilized by planeswalkers eager to visit a truly untapped plane.
But, in conclusion, don't.
Even if we treat MLP as existing in a vacuum, the Breezies are not particularly interesting. They're weak, they're tiny, they don't speak the same language as every other sapient creature in the universe, and they exist in a pocket dimension that's only accessible through the most boring cliff face I think we've ever seen in the show.
But taken within the context of a crossover with a property whose entire shtick is multiverse travel? At that point, the Breezies become a joke race. A joke race that would be so hilariously underpowered, you'd never be able to justify printing them, not even in a joke set. If you made Seabreeze a planeswalker, his ultimate would probably be 'Restart the game, but this time play anything other than Breezie tribal'. Or there'd be a one-mana common Breezie Tribal Enchantment that just reads 'Concede'. Half the Breezie metagame would be trying to elicit so much pity from the people watching that they just gift you some better cards.
I'm going to stop now, because if I kept making jokes about how bad Breezies would be in MtG, it'd be longer than the fic. Suffice to say, there was only one way this could ever go.
Also, Tamiyo is surprisingly hard to write.
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The beautiful irony here is that Faeries were easily the most devastating tribe back when Lorwyn/Shadowmoor Block was Standard legal. Little dream-stealing bastards...
But yeah, it's an easy cognitive leap from this one to Breezies. Though I'm getting the impression that you aren't too impressed with the wee ponies.
(Also, there's actually a canon planar Lilliput: Segovia. Even the leviathans are 3/3s. No word on how they react to visiting planeswalkers.)
7619854 Now, how could you possibly get the impression I'm not particularly impressed by breezies? I only spent over a thousand words waxing factual about how worthless they are as a species.
According to this article, Segovia basically imposes an automatic Shrink on any entering planeswalkers.
How Would Twilight know about Lorwyn?
7619910 By asking for as much information as possible on planeswalkers once she found out they existed.
A shame that Tamiyo is so hard to write. I'd love to see more like this.
7620025 I don't think you would. Most of the Planeswalker's Field Guide reads like an insanely comprehensive, incredibly dry encyclopedia. It's just a massive compilation of information from every single plane, vaguely geared towards planeswalkers of a more tourist bent.
Basically, if you've ever read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... this isn't the titular volume. It's the Encyclopedia Galactica.
Well now I'm wondering if they're related to imps. Chimney Imps, to be exact
7620285 ...
That's one of those meme things, innit?
7620040
Then again, I'm one of those odd people who enjoys reading encyclopedias. Take that as you will.
7620779 You're right, that is odd.
But also, there's just the simple fact that the full Planeswalker's Field Guide would essentially just be a clinically detached exposition dump about each individual plane that's slightly better written than the MtG wiki. It doesn't have much to offer from a creative standpoint.
7620305
Nope! It's a card from Mirrodin that is legendary in how bad it is.
Look it up and be amazed at the badness :-P
7621379 Honestly?
Chimney imp is basically the Breezie equivalent of the Platinum Emperion.
7620285 Who would win - a Storm Crow, a Chimney Imp, or a Breezie?
Breezie Warband 1U
Sorcery
Put five 0/1 Breezie tokens onto the battlefield with "effects cannot raise this creature's power or toughness" and "if this creature is the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it".
The most decorated warband in Breezie history is known to have defeated two hornets and a grasshopper during their careers.
As someone who really isn't into MtG, this one was a bit harder to get into at first. With that being said, I did start to enjoy it one I understood what was going on. Looking at the comments, I get the sense that this was a much more flavorful adaptation of the guide. If most things were written like this, I might be able to get into MtG.
Overall, a good read, just not necessarily my favorite
Once it was revealed they were Breezies being talked about, this was really funny. :D
Doesn't Nyx/Theros count as a naturally occuring planar portal? They're considered to be different realms.
8797917
More of a blurred line that has very thin walls from one side. A naturally occuring planar portal in this instance would refer to a single location on a plane that leads directly between two planes. Unless Nyx is gated off from Theros by a very specific Gate of Dreams that is the only means of traffic between the two, doesn't count.